How's your father?

A bigger question for the OP is who is their father.

Hello father, hello mother welcome to camp granada

Dead since 2011.

Complicated question that one. My father had a sex change turned into my mother who then entered a nunnery and had a relationship with a nun, who was previously a man, so my mother changed back to my father for love, in the meantime his lover also changed back into a man, which confused my father, so the broke up. But his partner became his stalker so my father changed sex and turned in to my aunt, who then found love with a beautiful woman, who as it happened was actually a man, my father/mother/aunt well she had enough of this and changed back into my uncle. Who at this stage was sick of humans actually became a dog lover. Well needless to say my father decided to turn himself into a border collie and when to live on a farm. Needless to say the dumbass fell in love with a sheep, who didn't love him but love a goat instead. My poor whatever he was at this stage father, well he gave up on the world and turned himself into a hedgehog and returnedhome, now the prickly fu©ker is sitting on my chair having my breakfast.
Told you it was complicated

Is that an offer OP? In the immortal words of Austin Powers, before I'm on the JOB, I like to give my undercarriage a bit of a "how's-your-father".