Uncomfortable when getting credit or compliment

Girly Gal · 17-03-2020 2:02pm #1

Does anyone else ever feel uncomfortable when being given credit or a compliment even when it is well deserved?
I don't know why but I've never been comfortable at receiving credit or compliments.
I recently had my yearly review and my manager was very complimentary and positive about my performance and I know the praise he gave me was deserved as I have performed well, but, whilst he was praising me, internally I felt slightly uncomfortable and even got slightly emotional (didn't let my manager see this), I'm not normally an emotional person.

If I ever get undue praise I'll always point out that the praise should be directed to whoever deserves it; I've seen other people happily take praise for other people's work and can't understand how they can do this with a clear conscience.

It's not a big issue (especially in light of current events) just wondering if anyone else has trouble receiving praise or compliments even when deserved?

05eaftqbrs9jlh · 17-03-2020 2:11pm

Girly Gal wrote: »

Does anyone else ever feel uncomfortable when being given credit or a compliment even when it is well deserved?
I don't know why but I've never been comfortable at receiving credit or compliments.
I recently had my yearly review and my manager was very complimentary and positive about my performance and I know the praise he gave me was deserved as I have performed well, but, whilst he was praising me, internally I felt slightly uncomfortable and even got slightly emotional (didn't let my manager see this), I'm not normally an emotional person.

If I ever get undue praise I'll always point out that the praise should be directed to whoever deserves it; I've seen other people happily take praise for other people's work and can't understand how they can do this with a clear conscience.

It's not a big issue (especially in light of current events) just wondering if anyone else has trouble receiving praise or compliments even when deserved?

Same here, especially with managers. I don't know where to look and end up nearly insulting the person who complimented me trying to turn it around.

Also when playing music live, if I'm leading the song I abruptly stop or just do a stupid ending because clapping and cheering is like toxic waste to my ears. God forbid anyone compliment my playing afterwards. I usually bring a change of clothes and perform in a hat that covers my face.

If anyone at all says I look nice, I go away to the bathroom and mess myself up so it lowers the risk of it happening again.

I'm a "mind over matter" person. I'm in my head, when someone is speaking to me it's a nice exchange of thoughts and sentiments. Whenever I'm dragged out of my thoughts and made reflect on physical stuff, I just feel so uncomfortable, like yourself. Also, like yourself, I'm very complimentary of others.

Do we maybe have self-esteem issues? I always thought I was a cocky sausage.

frag420 · 17-03-2020 2:14pm

Girly Gal wrote: »

Does anyone else ever feel uncomfortable when being given credit or a compliment even when it is well deserved?
I don't know why but I've never been comfortable at receiving credit or compliments.
I recently had my yearly review and my manager was very complimentary and positive about my performance and I know the praise he gave me was deserved as I have performed well, but, whilst he was praising me, internally I felt slightly uncomfortable and even got slightly emotional (didn't let my manager see this), I'm not normally an emotional person.

If I ever get undue praise I'll always point out that the praise should be directed to whoever deserves it; I've seen other people happily take praise for other people's work and can't understand how they can do this with a clear conscience.

It's not a big issue (especially in light of current events) just wondering if anyone else has trouble receiving praise or compliments even when deserved?

One of the best posts ever, you have really outdone yourself there OP, huge credit to you, well done!!

You’re looking well too, have you lost weight?

is_that_so · 17-03-2020 2:15pm

Girly Gal wrote: »

Does anyone else ever feel uncomfortable when being given credit or a compliment even when it is well deserved?
I don't know why but I've never been comfortable at receiving credit or compliments.
I recently had my yearly review and my manager was very complimentary and positive about my performance and I know the praise he gave me was deserved as I have performed well, but, whilst he was praising me, internally I felt slightly uncomfortable and even got slightly emotional (didn't let my manager see this), I'm not normally an emotional person.

If I ever get undue praise I'll always point out that the praise should be directed to whoever deserves it; I've seen other people happily take praise for other people's work and can't understand how they can do this with a clear conscience.

It's not a big issue (especially in light of current events) just wondering if anyone else has trouble receiving praise or compliments even when deserved?

Just force yourself to say thank you!

17-03-2020 2:20pm

My answer is yes, I feel embarrassed when complimented. I understand it is a (mild) self esteem thing, according to those who know me well enough. I’ve started to learn to take the compliment (as long as it’s real and not plámás) and say “Thank you”.. And then move on

I find that even doing that is challenging enough but working at it definitely helps

Incidentally, Plámás is a wonderful word that, as far as I know, has no direct English equivalent.

Wibbs · 17-03-2020 2:21pm

Nah. I'm an arrogant prick so only get uncomfortable if they take too long to be effusive in their praise.

Girly Gal · 17-03-2020 2:47pm

frag420 wrote: »

One of the best posts ever, you have really outdone yourself there OP, huge credit to you, well done!!

You’re looking well too, have you lost weight?

Stop with the compliments,feel really uncomfortable now, you're killing me!!

frag420 · 17-03-2020 2:49pm

Girly Gal wrote: »

Stop with the compliments,feel really uncomfortable now, you're killing me!!

TBH I didn't think you could better your first post but this one is exceptional, go you!!

Bobblehats · 17-03-2020 3:01pm

What are you, in arrears just take the damn credit

Rows Grower · 17-03-2020 3:07pm

There's something very feminine about her avatar too, really really nice.

Kinda sexy if the truth be told.

barney shamrock · 17-03-2020 3:12pm

I ignore compliments and insults equally.
If 100 people told me I was an ass-hat I wouldnt pay them any attention.
Equally if 100 people told me I was great and should get both the parachutes I wouldnt pay them any attention either.

frag420 · 17-03-2020 3:33pm

barney shamrock wrote: »

I ignore compliments and insults equally.
If 100 people told me I was an ass-hat I wouldnt pay them any attention.
Equally if 100 people told me I was great and should get both the parachutes I wouldnt pay them any attention either.

You’re a great ass-hat!!

corner of hells · 17-03-2020 3:35pm

OP is Mr F , he woke up this morning feeling a bit girly , one of his many personalities.

17-03-2020 3:36pm

hey, it's a lot cheaper than giving you a big raise!

chrissb8 · 17-03-2020 3:58pm

Just take the compliment and stop putting yourself down in your head. Enough people will do that in life just take it all in your stride with a pinch of salt knowing all this praise etc. can change in a switch.

Rows Grower · 17-03-2020 4:03pm

chrissb8 wrote: »

Just take the compliment and stop putting yourself down in your head. Enough people will do that in life just take it all in your stride with a pinch of salt knowing all this praise etc. can change in a switch.

Very true.

She sounds like a bit of a loser to be honest.

Girly Gal · 17-03-2020 4:24pm

chrissb8 wrote: »

Just take the compliment and stop putting yourself down in your head. Enough people will do that in life just take it all in your stride with a pinch of salt knowing all this praise etc. can change in a switch.

I agree with what you're saying, as I've said it's not really a big issue and is not having a huge affect on my life, I was just wondering if other people have a similar reaction when getting compliments.

Girly Gal · 17-03-2020 4:25pm

Rows Grower wrote: »

Very true.

She sounds like a bit of a loser to be honest.

Why do you think that?

Girly Gal · 17-03-2020 4:29pm

corner of hells wrote: »

OP is Mr F , he woke up this morning feeling a bit girly , one of his many personalities.[/QUOTE
I know who you're referring to, I'm not him. I'm sure he's busy opening other threads.

corks finest · 17-03-2020 4:35pm

Girly Gal wrote: »

Does anyone else ever feel uncomfortable when being given credit or a compliment even when it is well deserved?
I don't know why but I've never been comfortable at receiving credit or compliments.
I recently had my yearly review and my manager was very complimentary and positive about my performance and I know the praise he gave me was deserved as I have performed well, but, whilst he was praising me, internally I felt slightly uncomfortable and even got slightly emotional (didn't let my manager see this), I'm not normally an emotional person.

If I ever get undue praise I'll always point out that the praise should be directed to whoever deserves it; I've seen other people happily take praise for other people's work and can't understand how they can do this with a clear conscience.

It's not a big issue (especially in light of current events) just wondering if anyone else has trouble receiving praise or compliments even when deserved?

Always

Seamai · 17-03-2020 4:41pm

On the surface I'd be dismissive, though in recent years I have been known to utter a polite thanks before quickly changing the subject.
Inside I'd probably be quite chuffed but wouldn't let it go to my head.

Rows Grower · 17-03-2020 4:43pm

Girly Gal wrote: »

Why do you think that?

Two guys named Statler and Waldorf told me.

valoren · 17-03-2020 5:41pm

Imposter syndrome with a sprinkling of external locus of control?

Girly Gal · 17-03-2020 5:53pm

valoren wrote: »

Imposter syndrome with a sprinkling of external locus of control?

Hi Valoren, could you go into a little more detail.

17-03-2020 6:23pm

There is nothing wrong with being humble..It seems to have went out of fashion though..

rapul · 17-03-2020 6:24pm

Well what is it your meant to say 20 euro 085 or meteor?!

valoren · 17-03-2020 6:40pm

Girly Gal wrote: »

Hi Valoren, could you go into a little more detail.

Imposter syndrome as in you're perfectly good at what you do but there is an unwarranted anxiety about your own percreived ability and that you will eventually be found wanting (when you won't) and where the external locus of control means you place the reasons for any success (or failures) with external factors e.g. your work performance was successful because of others contributing instead of an internal control which would have you feel that it was your commitment and work which brought about success. If it was a failure someone with an external locus of control would do the opposite ie blame everyone and anyone else.

Gonad · 17-03-2020 6:44pm

Yes I feel you .

My girlfriend told me the other night I had the biggest willy out of all my friends ..

I didn’t know where to look ..

Girly Gal · 17-03-2020 6:59pm

valoren wrote: »

Imposter syndrome as in you're perfectly good at what you do but there is an unwarranted anxiety about your own percreived ability and that you will eventually be found wanting (when you won't) and where the external locus of control means you place the reasons for any success (or failures) with external factors e.g. your work performance was successful because of others contributing instead of an internal control which would have you feel that it was your commitment and work which brought about success. If it was a failure someone with an external locus of control would do the opposite ie blame everyone and anyone else.

Thanks for the reply, I think you're right about the imposter syndrome, but, not about the external locus of control, from you're explanation I'd identify more with having an internal locus of control as I feel it was my commitment and work which brought about success.and I take responsibility for any failures

Uncomfortable when getting credit or compliment

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