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Feel like it's over

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  • 10-11-2018 5:58pm
    #1
    HandsomeBob
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,977 ✭✭✭


    I've had a hard decade. Lost friends and lost someone I was deeply in love with. I was able to handle it all until my father passed away what is now nearly 3 years ago.

    I hit alcohol hard which hasn't hindered me in terms of working yet but it's cost me everything else. I know I need counselling but I find it hard to make that step. I'm well liked in work (been there going on 6 years) and have been thinking about reaching out to our hr department to see if they have a company doctor that could refer me because I feel like they need to know if I'm going to beat this.

    Just wondering if anyone has had similar experience of this and whether the job would be emphatic.


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    #2
    vectorvictor
    Registered Users Posts: 745 ✭✭✭vectorvictor


    Does your company have an Employee Assistance service through the likes of a healthcare provider etc.. this is anonymous and external to HR . Bringing your problems to HR may not be a great idea and may add more stress to your situation. I don't think it's any of your employers business unless they have come to you with a problem to do with it.

    Even if there is no EAP there are plenty of low cost counselling services and AA is always free and would be my first step if you feel that you are alcohol dependent.

    Don't feel like it's the end. You've identified you have a problem which is miles ahead of where many people in your situation would be. See it as the start of doing some work on yourself to make things better.


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    #3
    Faith
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,655 Mod ✭✭✭✭Faith


    Hey Bob, I’m really sorry to hear about all of the difficulties you’ve gone through. That would take anyone down, so well done for looking for help.

    I’d echo the Employee Assistance programme, if there’s one available. If not, go for a chat with your GP as the next port of call. It’s important to check the credentials of any therapist that you are referred to because it can be quite damaging to work with a person who’s not properly qualified. Also, a huge amount rests on the therapeutic relationship, so you may need to try a few therapists to find one you gel well with.

    Best of luck, you can get through this x


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    #4
    Dalomanakora
    Closed Accounts Posts: 608 ✭✭✭Dalomanakora


    Ah god,I'm so sorry for what you're going through :(

    You say you can't make the step to get counselling, but want to talk to HR and see a doctor. Are you considering telling HR in order to essentially force yourself to get help?


    If your company has EAP, use it. Mine has and although I've never used it, they provide a LOT of services, including counselling.


    Ideally, you would want to keep HR out of it unless it's at the point where it negatively affects you performance in work. Remember, HR protect the company, not the employee.


    If you don't have EAP, go have a chat with your GP. No harm in saying "look, I don't feel that I'm very well," and taking it from there.


    The first step is definitely hard, it's incredibly difficult actually. But it'll help, there's no real need for you to feel so awful when there are people out there who can work with you to make you happy again. You deserve to be happy, and it's simply self care to go talk to someone. Same as going to the gym because you've stacked on a few pounds, it's just basic looking after yourself.


    Good luck man


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    #5
    HandsomeBob
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,977 ✭✭✭HandsomeBob


    I appreciate the replies all. :) I think the reason why counselling has been a step too far for me is because I'm well aware of where my problems lie but alcohol has complicated matters.

    I can actually deal with my issues fine Monday to Friday (as I said I'm well liked and respected in my job) but when alcohol comes into the equation it just has a terrible effect on me.

    I was in a bad state when I wrote the op but just wanted to let those know who replied that I'm in an OK place now. Have told friends and family that I'm staying off alcohol for a while so I don't feel pressure anymore.

    In terms of work, when I'm sober I realise going to hr is the worst idea possible so thanks all for highlighting this. Dalo I think you have it right; going to HR felt like an easy out where I'd be forced to face things.


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