Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi all! We have been experiencing an issue on site where threads have been missing the latest postings. The platform host Vanilla are working on this issue. A workaround that has been used by some is to navigate back from 1 to 10+ pages to re-sync the thread and this will then show the latest posts. Thanks, Mike.
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

Lack of support

2»

Comments

  • #52
    lunamoon
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 263 ✭✭lunamoon


    Neyite wrote: »
    I'm the same as you in that I don't expect childcare from them but in an emergency would they help you out with a few hours minding if you needed it?

    I've never been in the situation (thankfully) where I needed them to mind them in an emergency. I think it would depend on the circumstances. They are both quite old and I don't think they'd be able to do nappy changes etc. If I just needed them to stay in the house while he was asleep I think that would probably be ok.


  • #53
    Anne_cordelia
    Registered Users Posts: 446 ✭✭Anne_cordelia


    naturalgems18 wrote: »
    I think that could actually be very true. It's been harder than we thought doing it alone together and I think this can be compounded when we see friends with children getting out fairly regularly as their parents help out a bit. There's only so many times you can say 'no, sorry we've no babysitter' - so I think that's where the change has to come. We'll have to just bite the bullet and find a babysitter we feel comfortable with. Part of me being put-off about this has been from reading mummy sites where a lot say they'd never ever leave their small child with a stranger & they'd only trust family. Oh the guilt :(
    Ah yes, from the privileged who can afford the luxury of only using family. Myself included. Go for a competent adult with qualifications and references and be prepared to pay. Don’t feel guilty. You are still a person and have a need to do things without the baby too.


  • #54
    NSAman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,441 ✭✭✭NSAman


    Neyite wrote: »
    We had the same - well, one side of the family never has babysat. Not that I needed it - my view was that they had done their rearing of kids so the only time I have ever asked was in an emergency, and I was turned down without any explanation. Yet my sister gets loads of babysitting off them. I still kept up the visits but even then my son gets feck all interaction from the grandparents compared to his more favoured cousins.

    There's not a lot you can do. After I got turned down I vowed I'd never ask again. And I never have. Instead I did swaps and sleepovers with the other side of the family who were happy to help, and who I reciprocate for so now we do get an occasional night away. I also networked with his classmates parents which I actually find quite difficult but now I have a bunch of other mothers I'm now friends with who could help out if I ever needed it. It gets easier as they get older when people are more likely to take a child over night for a sleepover rather than a toddler.

    Now the first grandparents like to make digs about how my son isn't bothered with them and has showed signs of jealousy that he's closer to the other side of the family. Well duh. :rolleyes: :p
    that was myself ad my siblings.

    have never asked the grandparents for help personally. Our two were looked after by ourselves as family were not close geographically.

    My parents love their grandkids to bits and even at this stage (they are hairy assed men now) love having them stay with them, the lads love both sides of their family and there have never had favouritism shown on either side.

    My grandparents on my dads side lost out... I don’t want my kids loosing out on knowing any member of their families.


  • #55
    noodler
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 26,501 ✭✭✭✭noodler


    naturalgems18 wrote: »
    Hi,

    Wondering if anyone has any tips for dealing with this. We have a one year old baby and from day one, we've really done absolutely everything ourselves. Let me be clear, this wasn't because we shut everyone out / rejected help, we just literally we never offered any help from anyone.

    On my side, neither my mother or father has looked after my child once in her whole life. Not even 10 minutes! Never. I'm not too surprised by this to be honest and had a good feeling it would be this way.

    On my husband's side, the grandparents mind their grandchildren every single weekday - morning until evening & some weekends too. They're exhausted from it and complain to us about how much they do - while never doing anything for us. It's like we have become their therapists. They come to visit us and complain they're too tired to take our child out even for a walk so we could maybe have a hour alone together to have a coffee or something. My husband has actually brought it up with them several times and they understand how he feels but don't do anything to change it.

    In all honestly, we just feel very very alone. We never ever get to go out alone. What can we do? I'm a bit nervous about getting a babysitter because she's still so young, but we also need a little bit of date time now and again. Any ideas?

    Thanks.

    It's sounds look the grandparents on your husband's side do more than enough as it is.

    Maybe it's your own parents where there is the chance for a bit of help?


Advertisement