Cat for my mother living alone:

FLOOPER · 21-11-2020 3:59am #1

Hi all,

just asking here for a suggestion.

My mother who lives alone and had a stroke 2 years ago but is thankfully compos mentis and is quite mobile but is now house bound and has issues with her speech.

We see her every day but she can't read anymore and isn't a fan of TV so gets "fed up" and slightly depressed most of the time when she is alone. I really think a house cat would really give her some focus and attention to give, to relieve her anxiety and apathy.

Obviously a visit to <snip> would be a step in the right direction.

But want to know other thoughts and peoples experiences.

Thanks

Atlantic Dawn · 21-11-2020 4:15am

Ask her first, otherwise the cat could be a complete pain in the hole for her , like her being stuck with an unwanted child a couple had because their friends had one.

the_syco · 21-11-2020 4:26am

FLOOPER wrote: »

We see her every day but she can't read anymore and isn't a fan of TV so gets "fed up" and slightly depressed most of the time when she is alone.

First off, she may not be able to read instructions about care for the cat (food, etc). As said, she may find it to be a hindrance. Is she squeamish? Would she mind the cat bringing back "presents"?

I'd get her eyes tested. Being unable to read, and the TV boring her may mean that she's unable to focus on them.

ozmo · 21-11-2020 4:39am

If she has had pets before I think its a wonderful idea. Otherwise can you bring a cat visitor over see how she reacts.
Not everyone likes the way they walk all over kitchen counters - eating any left out food etc. Just remember there will be litter to be emptied, vets visits etc.
Unlike dogs - Most Cats have be left out - and if there are busy roads nearby they might not last long unfortunately.

Also cats and especially dogs are Im told harder to come by since lockdown and shelters are vetting the homes picking only the most suitable.

Graces7 · 21-11-2020 4:41am

OP; what does SHE say? Have you spoken to her about it? Is the idea coming form her or from you?

You need to involve HER from the start.

An indoor cat is hard work at times. And a responsibility.

Yes talk to the <snip>and/or any of the rescue centres. And talk to us as well!

Addle · 21-11-2020 4:51am

As long as she agrees, it’s a great idea. Listening to a cat purr can be very relaxing and is thought to help reduce blood pressure.
Plus they can can be company and a good distraction.
If you visit every day, you can look after the litter tray!

21-11-2020 7:13am

Leave the rescues to regular people who have the energy to take care of them and can take on the risk of getting a bad one.

Get a nice and friendly kitten and keep it indoors. I have one of my ex's "therapy cats" and he is a joy. When people visit my apartment that he has full reign over, they never guess I have a cat. No smell or scratches or anything. And he's never sick. All I do is feed him and clean the litter tray.

My friend who got cats for the same reason has a nightmare of a time with her rescues. It adds stress and makes her condition worse. And she's always at the vet.

Also, she might enjoy audiobooks played at a slower speed.

bertiebomber · 21-11-2020 8:36pm

would it not be nicer to have a therapy dog visit her twice a week for a chat and a cup of tea. there are lots of us with therapy dogs no longer allowed to visit nursing homes due to covid and i am sure if there is one in your area they would oblige as we are very kind & nice people with great dogs well behaved and lovely. Where does your mum ;live? What county?

FLOOPER · 22-11-2020 11:09pm

Thanks all.

I'll get onto animal rescue and maybe a vet and see what hey suggest.

FLOOPER · 23-11-2020 4:16pm

bertiebomber wrote: »

would it not be nicer to have a therapy dog visit her twice a week for a chat and a cup of tea. there are lots of us with therapy dogs no longer allowed to visit nursing homes due to covid and i am sure if there is one in your area they would oblige as we are very kind & nice people with great dogs well behaved and lovely. Where does your mum ;live? What county?

Thanks for that. I’m not sure she would be that comfortable with visitors she’s not familiar with.

aonb · 23-11-2020 9:45pm

Your poor mum
Would AUDIO books be something she might enjoy? (click/collect from the library or download something?
How about a jigsaw?
Would she be able to knit, even something as simple as a scarf? or possibly make a tapestry or cross-stitch type kit (you can get childrens level kits which would be easier)
There must be some hobbies or crafts that she might like - even simple things like making bead necklaces for gifts for her family?
If she likes cats, I think having a pet to talk to /sit with would be great.

bertiebomber · 23-11-2020 11:33pm

FLOOPER wrote: »

Thanks for that. I’m not sure she would be that comfortable with visitors she’s not familiar with.

I understand, my mother is the same but we therapy dog people are vetted within an inch of our lives for insurance etc. The average age is 40's plus mature people with kindness at heart !

Graces7 · 24-11-2020 7:44am

OP; sorry if I sounded negative.

Decades back ( I am old as the hills!) my then GP told me ) and I was totally alone etc. that keeping a cat ( in a council flat then) was doing me so much good he was going to recommend it to all his old patients.

But I was used to cats and had waited many years to have one. And it was not my first cat.

Now I have six rescues...

Does she know and like cats? That is the key.

If so then brilliant. Mine light up the day and night. and their needs keep me focussed and grounded. But their needs matter more than mine.

Ask her? Please! Suggest it and see what she thinks? Whereas people can be too much to cope with a cat is..... different.

BuboBubo · 24-11-2020 9:36am

Graces7 wrote: »

OP; sorry if I sounded negative.

Decades back ( I am old as the hills!) my then GP told me ) and I was totally alone etc. that keeping a cat ( in a council flat then) was doing me so much good he was going to recommend it to all his old patients.

But I was used to cats and had waited many years to have one. And it was not my first cat.

Now I have six rescues...

Does she know and like cats? That is the key.

If so then brilliant. Mine light up the day and night. and their needs keep me focussed and grounded. But their needs matter more than mine.

Ask her? Please! Suggest it and see what she thinks? Whereas people can be too much to cope with a cat is..... different.

That's so lovely Graces7.

OP, ask her first. Would she be able to manage litter trays etc? Lovely idea, but definitely needs discussing.

phormium · 24-11-2020 9:50am

I would definitely ask her first just in case she does not like them or like cat hair everywhere!

I have a cat but she remains mainly outdoors (in a very comfortable shed and garden), she loves following me around and 'guarding' me while I garden or paint. When I was painting my garden wall on the path side this year she happily saw off several dogs she obviously thought were coming too close to me

One other thing though to think about is I consider my cat to be a trip hazard, she is always getting under my feet when I'm around the garden trying to rub off my legs etc and I have nearly fallen several times trying to avoid her!

Graces7 · 24-11-2020 10:22am

phormium wrote: »

I would definitely ask her first just in case she does not like them or like cat hair everywhere!

I have a cat but she remains mainly outdoors (in a very comfortable shed and garden), she loves following me around and 'guarding' me while I garden or paint. When I was painting my garden wall on the path side this year she happily saw off several dogs she obviously thought were coming too close to me

One other thing though to think about is I consider my cat to be a trip hazard, she is always getting under my feet when I'm around the garden trying to rub off my legs etc and I have nearly fallen several times trying to avoid her!

My refugee Tonto is a danger! He is so overwhelmingly affectionate that as soon as I appear he literally wraps himself round my ankles purring and I cannot move. The others are fine; I think that this is one big difference thought between indoor and outdoor cats? They need to express their affection and have little chance outside.

FLOOPER · 25-11-2020 1:09pm

Hi all,

Thanks for all your kindness.

She has never had a cat and entertained the idea about a year ago when we went to a shelter but we didn’t pick a cat.

She has never had a cat before but she does like them and as with most things it’s difficult to know if it’ll work but I really feel as Graces7 has mentioned that it could be great comfort and focus for her.

Thanks you Aonb for your suggestions. Her concentration is not the best but maybe try and get her back to knitting would be a good idea.

Thank you all for your kind advice.

Will let you know what happens.

Keep safe and we’ll.

Graces7 · 26-11-2020 8:00am

FLOOPER wrote: »

Hi all,

Thanks for all your kindness.

She has never had a cat and entertained the idea about a year ago when we went to a shelter but we didn’t pick a cat.

She has never had a cat before but she does like them and as with most things it’s difficult to know if it’ll work but I really feel as Graces7 has mentioned that it could be great comfort and focus for her.

Thanks you Aonb for your suggestions. Her concentration is not the best but maybe try and get her back to knitting would be a good idea.

Thank you all for your kind advice. "

Maybe visit a shelter? And I would advise an older cat. A kitten is very hard work; there have been threads here vouching for that! They are wired to the moon..A more mature lady who really appreciates a home! My first RSPCA cat was one such. An older lady who. as I saw from the corner of my eye when I was being shown round, climbed up the wire to get as near to my ears as she could. Mrs Tiggywinkle I called her. Long long gone but never forgotten.

FLOOPER · 26-11-2020 1:16pm

Graces7 wrote: »

FLOOPER wrote: »

Hi all,

Thanks for all your kindness.

She has never had a cat and entertained the idea about a year ago when we went to a shelter but we didn’t pick a cat.

She has never had a cat before but she does like them and as with most things it’s difficult to know if it’ll work but I really feel as Graces7 has mentioned that it could be great comfort and focus for her.

Thanks you Aonb for your suggestions. Her concentration is not the best but maybe try and get her back to knitting would be a good idea.

Thank you all for your kind advice. "

Maybe visit a shelter? And I would advise an older cat. A kitten is very hard work; there have been threads here vouching for that! They are wired to the moon..A more mature lady who really appreciates a home! My first RSPCA cat was one such. An older lady who. as I saw from the corner of my eye when I was being shown round, climbed up the wire to get as near to my ears as she could. Mrs Tiggywinkle I called her. Long long gone but never forgotten.

It’s definitely be an older cat we’d look at.

Thanks Graces.

Cat for my mother living alone:

Comments