Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

Barti · 14-11-2019 9:38pm

BohsCeltic wrote: »

I'm still technically employed and just receive illness benefit and that's a struggle for me. I'm not married or have kids so I have no idea how people can live on that money.
Is she on medication aswell as therapy ?

Ah, I get ya. We'll see how it goes for her, I know being a contracted employee can be a bit different in terms of what rights you have in terms of being kept on while ill, so we'll just have to wait and see.

She is on medication, she has been for a long while now, and it definitely helps, cause there were days where she ran out and it just makes her head so foggy and unable to focus. Maybe we'll just try get out of the house more, go for walks at the beach or in the woods (it's just getting a little chilly for that, but it might be good for us both to do still), and just take it one day at a time. It is just hard sometimes to manage that plus my own work, although they are super accomodating if I need to take time to bring my partner to her therapy sessions or whatever.

BohsCeltic · 15-11-2019 12:30am

Barti wrote: »

Ah, I get ya. We'll see how it goes for her, I know being a contracted employee can be a bit different in terms of what rights you have in terms of being kept on while ill, so we'll just have to wait and see.

She is on medication, she has been for a long while now, and it definitely helps, cause there were days where she ran out and it just makes her head so foggy and unable to focus. Maybe we'll just try get out of the house more, go for walks at the beach or in the woods (it's just getting a little chilly for that, but it might be good for us both to do still), and just take it one day at a time. It is just hard sometimes to manage that plus my own work, although they are super accomodating if I need to take time to bring my partner to her therapy sessions or whatever.

Getting out in Nature is great. I haven't walked my dogs in a couple of weeks as i also have psoriasis so my feet and legs are so painful it's hard to. It also doesn't help my depression which in turn makes me more stressed and i get flare ups.
I look back to just over a year ago when it started to develop first. I wish i had the same skin as i had then. But i know i won't so i just need to move forward and try take care of myself as best i can.

Graces7 · 15-11-2019 1:22am

BohsCeltic wrote: »

Getting out in Nature is great. I haven't walked my dogs in a couple of weeks as i also have psoriasis so my feet and legs are so painful it's hard to. It also doesn't help my depression which in turn makes me more stressed and i get flare ups.
I look back to just over a year ago when it started to develop first. I wish i had the same skin as i had then. But i know i won't so i just need to move forward and try take care of myself as best i can.

Blessed I am out here on this small ocean island as I am in and out among the fresh wind many times a day. No need for exertion; just open the door...bringing turf in is to have the ocean in front of my eyes and that air in my lungs

One More Toy · 15-11-2019 6:55pm

Having a really tough time. Somebody say a prayer for me

Mam of 4 · 15-11-2019 7:03pm

One More Toy wrote: »

Having a really tough time. Somebody say a prayer for me

You ok OMT ?
There's always someone here if you want to talk if it helps ?

BohsCeltic · 15-11-2019 7:07pm

One More Toy wrote: »

Having a really tough time. Somebody say a prayer for me

I'll say a prayer for you even though i am not religious.

Not great myself, stressing over banks, my health, my life in general and how i fcuked it up.

I'm not sleeping much and that is when the demons come out. I slept for 2 hours last night.
I did manage to eat a bowl of porridge and toast with decaff coffee for breakfast then a massive sandwich for lunch and took my vitamins. That's unlike me tbh.

Then i done some washing and cleaned my home, felt good after it.
Keeping busy helps for sure but for me it it is hard with my feet still so sore.
Now i need to shower and spend 20 mins putting creams on my body for my psoriasis. It's never ending.

Have to stay strong though, made it this far in life so never give up hope.

Take care mate.

Just when things seem to start looking up something always knocks you back down, especially them Irish Life halfwiths grrrrrr.

Skybirdjb · 15-11-2019 8:24pm

One More Toy wrote: »

Having a really tough time. Somebody say a prayer for me

Hope ur ok always here for a rant

theballz · 16-11-2019 6:46am

Barti wrote: »

Hi all, new to this thread, but just wondering what people do to cope, and how people's partners/friends/family can help?

My partner suffers from anxiety and depression, and was recently diagnosed with extreme anxiety and depression, and completely lacks self-confidence when it comes to working (she's great at other things that she does for herself like painting and cooking). She started a new job in the summer after leaving her old place due to stress, and all was well for a couple months but things built up and she has been out of work now for 6 weeks or so.

Her employer met with her this morning on the premise of discussing how she was, but she came out of that chat utterly defeated and crying. Apparently the employer asked her why she was out so long and that she had never heard of someone being out of work for so long as a contractor, and asked was she just going to feel this same way after Christmas, trying to compare it to it just being a seasonal depressive issue. She made my partner believe she was utterly useless and is most likely out of a job, as they will be discussing my partner with the company she works at (she is contracted out).

I know she is currently applying for illness benefit, and I really hope something comes through for her. In the meantime though, we are strapped for money as rent is over 50% of my single income and she hasn't been earning from work in over 6 weeks.

I guess what I am trying to figure out is what can I do to help her through this? I am regularly assuring her that all will be ok and we will manage financially if I budget things, and that we will just take it one day at a time, but is there anything else I can help with to just get through each day and help her see that things will get better over time? She does go to therapy, but that gets expensive and while I can try budget around it, it will leave us with pretty much nothing at the end of the month. She would love to go back working, but I think she is afraid of getting into the same rut again. I also don't know if she would get anything from social welfare if she were no longer employed there, or if there is any other kind of support she can get just to get her mental health to a more manageable point?

Credit to you for staying so supportive and positive. You’ve got the fundamentals truly in place - many couples in this position do not last. Give yourself a pat on the back for that

I’m by no means a guru on illness benefit but I do know my mother got it for quite some time when she was off work unwell. She had depression and anxiety, I’m unsure how much she got but it helped her.

Has she gotten any sort of professional help? I know money is tight so it might not be realistic but I would suggest something like a support group. Aware of many of them (some better then others - I would recommend blanch for example.) The thought of these groups can be intimidating for someone with anxiety, when I first went I sat outside for about an hour thinking should I/should I not go in? But I went in and the people are lovely

Even for yourself, if she cannot bring herself to go then maybe you should.

The important thing to note is, you are not alone. Nor is she, help is out there. Things will get better mate, please stand tall and firm on your positive fundamentals

_CreeD_ · 16-11-2019 7:12am

Support vs. enablement. I say this as someone who from early teens has had huge depression/anxiety issues, I have family members with both. It never goes away, all that changes are events and your coping mechanisms. From your specific case, 6 weeks out as a contractor? Gone. I've been on both sides of this career wise, being a contractor brings benefits but also expendability, that's the nature of the game. Do not expect familial treatment when you aren't part of the family. The fact the supervisor came to talk to her instead of outright firing is actually a plus for them, that's business and with that timeframe not remotely cut-throat. What you have described about her future, as a fear of getting into the same rut, that 'rut' is not any one job or related situation. It's her mindset. The need to bury yourself in the bedsheets, to dream and wish and lie in warm bliss, it's lovely. It doesn't work when you're an adult. Especially when you are in a relationship and/or have kids. You don't have the luxury because others have to bear your burdens.
You need to either except that you are the only earner, that the comforting quilt your partner has crept into is something you can handle, or support but ENABLE them to fight past the disfunction that they are living. It took me almost a decade to move past disfunctional to performing and that I largely attribute to my own wife. She held me when I needed comfort but pushed me when I needed to live. The hardest thing is the first step, but sometimes...and only sometimes...people have to be pushed to make it. What matters as a partner is your motivation. They will make their own choices.
But, I guess in a way TLDR, don't confuse compassion with submission, or retreat with comfort. Life is a battle. It's always hard unless you are an idiot. Support is not just holding in defeat, it's teaching to get back up and try again.

One More Toy · 16-11-2019 5:32pm

I've an exam to study for and I cannot get out of bed. All I want to do is sleep

theballz · 17-11-2019 3:49am

One More Toy wrote: »

I've an exam to study for and I cannot get out of bed. All I want to do is sleep

Keep yourself busy if you want to avoid depression. For me, inactivity is the enemy.

One More Toy · 17-11-2019 3:52pm

So stressed today. Wish I was a different person living someone else's life

BohsCeltic · 17-11-2019 4:51pm

One More Toy wrote: »

So stressed today. Wish I was a different person living someone else's life

Sometimes i think the same. Yesterday i looked back at my past and the mistakes i made.
Usually every Christmas i have good money e.t.c but because i am out sick it won't happen this year.
My Psoriasis and financial difficulties are putting me down so much too, looking at other people so happy and here is me asking why am i not like that, my psoriasis was the final straw but i know this can be controlled a bit if i try and stop thinking and worrying too much, easier said than done though.

But this is me, I don't want to be anyone else. I just want to be the person i was before these horrible illnesses took a hold of me.

I won't give up, if anything, all this crap i have been through has made me stronger. I have hope.
Hope that 2020 will be better but there is only one person who can achieve that goal, and that person is ME.

It's time for me to roll up the sleeves and start taking more care of myself. I am going to start a diary/week planner of things for me to do instead of just being stuck in my room wasting my life away.

I will do this after dinner and start from tomorrow. I am not putting it off untill new year, it starts from today.

Keep strong.

One More Toy · 17-11-2019 4:58pm

BohsCeltic wrote: »

Sometimes i think the same. Yesterday i looked back at my past and the mistakes i made.
Usually every Christmas i have good money e.t.c but because i am out sick it won't happen this year.
My Psoriasis and financial difficulties are putting me down so much too, looking at other people so happy and here is me asking why am i not like that, my psoriasis was the final straw but i know this can be controlled a bit if i try and stop thinking and worrying too much, easier said than done though.

But this is me, I don't want to be anyone else. I just want to be the person i was before these horrible illnesses took a hold of me.

I won't give up, if anything, all this crap i have been through has made me stronger. I have hope.
Hope that 2020 will be better but there is only one person who can achieve that goal, and that person is ME.

It's time for me to roll up the sleeves and start taking more care of myself. I am going to start a diary/week planner of things for me to do instead of just being stuck in my room wasting my life away.

I will do this after dinner and start from tomorrow. I am not putting it off untill new year, it starts from today.

Keep strong.

I've given up on 2019,im gonna make 2020 my year

Funny I've bad psoriasis too - I'm starting an injection for it soon as nothing I've tried works

BohsCeltic · 17-11-2019 5:06pm

One More Toy wrote: »

I've given up on 2019,im gonna make 2020 my year

Funny I've bad psoriasis too - I'm starting an injection for it soon as nothing I've tried works

I turn 40 next month. Should be looking forward but i am not.
I am waiting for a specialist for my psoriasis, doc said just go private as it will be quicker. Yes but impossible when on 203 a week lol.

Mine only started last June but spread quickly. Just another thing to mess me up.

One More Toy · 17-11-2019 7:31pm

BohsCeltic wrote: »

I turn 40 next month. Should be looking forward but i am not.
I am waiting for a specialist for my psoriasis, doc said just go private as it will be quicker. Yes but impossible when on 203 a week lol.

Mine only started last June but spread quickly. Just another thing to mess me up.

Yeah I see a consultant too, and as you've said it's public, but I got seen to quick enough. I'd maybe give the dermatology department a ring tomorrow and see what the situation is

One More Toy · 19-11-2019 4:40pm

It's been very quiet on here, how's everyone doing today?

BohsCeltic · 19-11-2019 5:15pm

One More Toy wrote: »

It's been very quiet on here, how's everyone doing today?

Not too bad, been trying to keep busy and eating good for a change. I have gained 5 pounds since Sunday.
It's like my appetite has returned. I hope it stays like this as i want to gain even more as i lost a lot over the past year.
I ideally want to gain an extra 5kg. That would bring me up to my ideal weight for my build and height and pretty sure boost my confidence and fuel my body to give me the energy to get out of bed in the morning and do things.

BohsCeltic · 20-11-2019 2:19am

I went for a walk earlier and passed by the bookies and just felt a feeling. Went in and done my numbers for the lotto.
Usually i do 50c so total cost €4 but i just done 25c so only €2.

My 3 numbers came out so i'm €375 richer

Gave me a right good lift. I got rid of the deadwood in my life too, ie the girl i had been talking to for a while who wasn't helping me at all and look what happened

Babysitting a 1 year old tomorrow then again on Thursday overnight along with my 12 year old Godson as my other Nephew is going for an operation.
Will treat the family to some nice takeaway and on Sat have my friends 40th that i will go to seeing as i have a bit of spare cash now.

Weighed myself again and now 7lb's heavier than i was on Sunday. Have to keep it going.

Gremlinertia · 20-11-2019 2:23am

Bohs, i'm grinning away here, couldn't happen a nicer person, i'm so glad for you

Gremlinertia · 20-11-2019 9:51am

Finished work, heading home, sit holding a blanket for three days then go back to it.. Its grim and I'm really down..

One More Toy · 20-11-2019 12:28pm

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Finished work, heading home, sit holding a blanket for three days then go back to it.. Its grim and I'm really down..

Are you OK grem? Wanna vent about it?

I know the feeling, I'm supposed to be studying but I'm frozen and unmotivated

Graces7 · 20-11-2019 6:23pm

Just a quick post, wishing all well. More and more drained and ill here as each day passes. Trying to get and keep warm …

I have my cats and their needs and affection help and support.

And I have my knitting; which will sell to feed rescued babies in Nepal; very aware of how much I do still have. I have my knitting... Christmas bells and angels, tiny pretty hats for babies... So I am abed most of each day; in the deep peace of this sanctuary... I have my knitting.

Being licked and purred at!

Hang on in there.. stay warm .. Blessings and peace.

BohsCeltic · 20-11-2019 7:53pm

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Finished work, heading home, sit holding a blanket for three days then go back to it.. Its grim and I'm really down..

You've hung in for so long and i'm sure you will do the same again. We all have them days.
Even today i felt like not going out but i did. I went out and got my hair cut, a simple task in reality for 'normal' people' but i done it and it helped me.

My teeth are so bad now because of medication and laziness. I wan't to smile but cannot give a real one. Booked dentist for Friday to try and get back to my normal good teeth.

I can only do myself, i realise that despite all the support i have around me it's up to me to fix myself and use my support as motivation.

It's wet, dark, windy and cold outside now but i am going to go for a quick walk. On the way back i will get some food and also do the lottery then shower and try to relax this overthinking brain of mine.

20-11-2019 8:00pm

Graces7 wrote: »

Just a quick post, wishing all well. More and more drained and ill here as each day passes. Trying to get and keep warm …

I have my cats and their needs and affection help and support.

And I have my knitting; which will sell to feed rescued babies in Nepal; very aware of how much I do still have. I have my knitting... Christmas bells and angels, tiny pretty hats for babies... So I am abed most of each day; in the deep peace of this sanctuary... I have my knitting.

Being licked and purred at!

Hang on in there.. stay warm .. Blessings and peace.

I hope you’re well Graces7 , I hope you have someone you can call on or who can call on you if you need ? It’s only November and we’ve another few months of Winter. Thankfully it’s meant to get milder next week . So maybe a reprieve for a bit.
When I’m feeling the blues in Winter (& thankfully that’s all I suffer from these days, nothing worse) , I think of the long Summer evenings and beautiful early Summer mornings and the birds singing, bees buzzing , flowers blooming and know (&hope) that’s all ahead next Spring and Summer again. After Christmas, which is only a few weeks away ,the evenings will start getting a bit longer .

My cats have become indoor cats lately and are ever so loving when I light the fire

.......in the summer they couldn’t care less about me !

Graces7 · 21-11-2019 12:40am

Deleted User wrote: »

I hope you’re well Graces7 , I hope you have someone you can call on or who can call on you if you need ? It’s only November and we’ve another few months of Winter. Thankfully it’s meant to get milder next week . So maybe a reprieve for a bit.
When I’m feeling the blues in Winter (& thankfully that’s all I suffer from these days, nothing worse) , I think of the long Summer evenings and beautiful early Summer mornings and the birds singing, bees buzzing , flowers blooming and know (&hope) that’s all ahead next Spring and Summer again. After Christmas, which is only a few weeks away ,the evenings will start getting a bit longer .

My cats have become indoor cats lately and are ever so loving when I light the fire .......in the summer they couldn’t care less about me !

Thanks. I have my supply lines set up; negotiating for a turkey just now ! And I have my faith family for vital support. But I will not have "officials" here! The GPs have no idea re M.E so they are of little use, frankly. I have become needfully a very private person. I know this illness and how to cope and survive and get some joy in my life.

Read a report last week that claims that a large percentage of old folk "self neglect"! The definitions etc are so insulting. lol... I understand why many old folk refuse eg meals on wheels . And become " reclusive".

Being out here is great.

Graces7 · 22-11-2019 8:36am

ps Things will start to ease as soon as the shortest day passes ie just in time for Christmas! Best, indeed, only Christmas gift.

Hunkering down with knitting and youtube and cats for a peaceful and productive weekend.. After trying a short walk as it seems to be dry and calm out there for once. Very very tired but that is bearable. Has to be! lol...

Be blessed and at peace today..We are, here, my cats and I

zerosugarbuzz · 22-11-2019 8:43am

Graces7 wrote: »

ps Things will start to ease as soon as the shortest day passes ie just in time for Christmas! Best, indeed, only Christmas gift.

Hunkering down with knitting and youtube and cats for a peaceful and productive weekend.. After trying a short walk as it seems to be dry and calm out there for once. Very very tired but that is bearable. Has to be! lol...

Be blessed and at peace today..We are, here, my cats and I

I love reading your posts, have a happy day on the island with your cats ðŸ˜Š

Graces7 · 22-11-2019 2:30pm

zerosugarbuzz wrote: »

I love reading your posts, have a happy day on the island with your cats &#55357;&#56842;

It is outwitting them and getting in and out of bed to let them in and out that keeps me grounded. I posted on the pet forum in the general chat thread re my "new" cat. Who came to me for help. People think cats are aloof. Depends how you treat them.

So cold today and it has gone on far too long! Shivers!

One More Toy · 22-11-2019 2:49pm

I'm so stressed, I've no idea where to go or what to do or who to talk to even

Skybirdjb · 22-11-2019 3:08pm

One More Toy wrote: »

I'm so stressed, I've no idea where to go or what to do or who to talk to even

Talk to us omt are u ok ?

One More Toy · 22-11-2019 3:44pm

Skybirdjb wrote: »

Talk to us omt are u ok ?

So stressed with an upcoming exam that most people fail. It's tough going.

Gremlinertia · 22-11-2019 3:51pm

One More Toy wrote: »

So stressed with an upcoming exam that 60 per cent of people fail. It's tough going.

You are not one of the sixty per cent right now. You do you, feck the stats. We're all right being you here

Graces7 · 22-11-2019 3:59pm

One More Toy wrote: »

So stressed with an upcoming exam that 60 per cent of people fail. It's tough going.[/QUOTE

But you ARE one of the 40 % who pass.. Trust me; I know these things

One More Toy · 22-11-2019 4:03pm

Tbh guys I don't care if I fail. I just want to see Christmas at home with my family right now that's all

Graces7 · 22-11-2019 5:50pm

One More Toy wrote: »

Tbh guys I don't care if I fail. I just want to see Christmas at home with my family right now that's all

Aw go on! Do the work and pass!

One More Toy · 22-11-2019 6:10pm

Graces7 wrote: »

Aw go on! Do the work and pass!

I will try to the best of my ability graces!

22-11-2019 6:24pm

One More Toy wrote: »

I will try to the best of my ability graces!

That's all you need to do!

Can't ask for any more.

Graces7 · 23-11-2019 9:36am

One More Toy wrote: »

I will try to the best of my ability graces!

(((HUGS!!)))

Graces7 · 23-11-2019 9:38am

One More Toy wrote: »

I will try to the best of my ability graces![/QUOTE

I know you will; and that will heal you more than anything...

Graces7 · 23-11-2019 9:44am

amazing how something that is really "trivial" can turn you round.

An email y'day asking me if I would like to dress the wee church here for Advent as I did last year! AND the man will DRIVE ME THERE AND BACK.

He can have no idea what he has done for me; my mobility is low now and the Church too far.

LOVE keeping the Church..

Seeking candles now and even went a "short walk " just now..... so little I can do here. Although the pile of knitteds is growing..sent a kilo away last week

Happy weekend everyone!

jaxxx · 23-11-2019 10:30am

How's everyone doing? I was wasting time on Youtube and stumbled across this. It put such a smile on my face that I felt I had to share it here. Bloody brilliant!

Bargain_Hound · 25-11-2019 6:27pm

At such a low at the moment. Can’t get the idea out of my head, that I have sort of checked out already. On top of things, I have up coming exams in work that I need to pass. My life is a total mess at the moment.

What makes this worse is having a beautiful partner and son who depend on me.

One More Toy · 25-11-2019 7:23pm

Bargain_Hound wrote: »

At such a low at the moment. Can’t get the idea out of my head, that I have sort of checked out already. On top of things, I have up coming exams in work that I need to pass. My life is a total mess at the moment.

What makes this worse is having a beautiful partner and son who depend on me.

I'm with you there mate, have an exam next week I'm screwed for

Gremlinertia · 25-11-2019 9:18pm

Had my psych appointment today, tackling massive things i didn't even know were there. Now at work for the night with no idea how to cope so while i don't understand your own personal circumstance Bargain and OMT i'm with you both in the struggle

worlds goodest teecher · 29-11-2019 9:24pm

New to this thread. Just started on Brintellix 10mg today as I have been feeling hugely overwhelmed by life these days. How effective is Brintellix? Have tried Escitalopram on two separate spells but experienced severe dry mouth and insomnia.

One More Toy · 29-11-2019 9:51pm

worlds goodest teecher wrote: »

New to this thread. Just started on Brintellix 10mg today as I have been feeling hugely overwhelmed by life these days. How effective is Brintellix? Have tried Escitalopram on two separate spells but experienced severe dry mouth and insomnia.

Know nothing about it but welcome to the thread!

worlds goodest teecher · 29-11-2019 9:54pm

One More Toy wrote: »

Know nothing about it but welcome to the thread!

Aka Vortioxetine or Trintellix

HalloweenJack · 02-12-2019 7:27am

Woke up an hour before my alarm went off to find myself hyperventilating and freaking out, in general. Couldn't get back to sleep afterwards. Great way to start the week.

Gremlinertia · 02-12-2019 7:37am

Sorry to hear that HJ, hope it doesn't have to set the tone for your week..

Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

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