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Divorce demands and what is normal

  • 25-06-2020 8:03pm
    #1
    smokingman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,754 ✭✭✭


    Looking for a bit of advice.
    Do respondents in a divorce proceeding usually come in with wildly unreasonable demands in the hope that they'll get at least one or is that kind of thing frowned on by judges?
    I ask as my dearest ex has come in with the following;

    Sign house and all its contents over to me for free.
    I want full custody of the children despite agreeing in mediation that custody should be 50/50 for the kids sake.
    Give me nearly a grand a month in maintenance.
    Pay for all divorce costs you bastard.
    I get to keep all the child allowance, SPCCC and 40% tax credits too.
    Sign something to say you will never appeal any decision ever (as long as it's in my favour)

    I mean, do judges actually look at that and say "well, there's a greedy yoke if ever I saw one" and throw that **** out?


Comments

  • #2
    howamidifferent
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,819 ✭✭✭howamidifferent


    In my experience and from talking to friends in the situation it is very common and unfortunately usually they get most of what they ask for while the man gets screwed over every which way. :(


  • #3
    LuasSimon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,208 ✭✭✭LuasSimon


    Men have no rights in this country especially law abiding ones that work


  • #4
    antimatterx
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,002 ✭✭✭antimatterx


    Where are you supposed to live? You have contributed to the house, and family I don't see why you have to get shafted.

    Has your ex no shame?


  • #5
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hello, dont be so sure, I was faced with a similar list of demands, , I am a man and a father , and have just come through a very difficult divorce,, the judge left me in the home ,, during the trial, the ex wifes barrister "" suggested " we go 50/50 on the children, no maintenance either way ,,, which I accepted ...the down side is I have to buy the ex out ,, which is not easy in the current climate, and the legal bill is eye watering,,, I suppose I am just giving the alternative, but be prepared for a vicious fight,
    Best of luck,, I know it is a horrible place to find yourself, and it won't get easier any time soon either.


  • #6
    smokingman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,754 ✭✭✭smokingman


    antimatterx wrote: »
    Where are you supposed to live? You have contributed to the house, and family I don't see why you have to get shafted.

    Has your ex no shame?

    I made the mistake of being madly in love with her and attempting suicide after constantly being described as pathetic by her. I suffered depression for a few years as a result of having no self worth and then had a three month spell prior to the attempt where I disintegrated in front of her eyes and she didn't care. She then went to a judge and said I was violent while I was still in the hospital and I haven't been allowed back to my house since.
    I'm a lot better now and woke up in more ways than one in that hospital bed.


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  • #7
    c.p.w.g.w
    Registered Users Posts: 4,994 ✭✭✭c.p.w.g.w


    How old are the children?


  • #8
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Jesus that's a horrow show. I'm struggling to see what's in marriage for men these days.

    I'd say its mainly the solicitor setting out lots of demands that when paired back a bit by the judge will still leave her doing very very well.


  • #9
    c.p.w.g.w
    Registered Users Posts: 4,994 ✭✭✭c.p.w.g.w


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Jesus that's a horrow show. I'm struggling to see what's in marriage for men these days.

    I'd say its mainly the solicitor setting out lots of demands that when paired back a bit by the judge will still leave her doing very very well.

    A buddy of mine, has being taking steps to make it look like he has a gambling problem, so he can stash away a load of his own money, as he is planning to get rid of his misses


  • #10
    Irishphotodesk
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,896 ✭✭✭Irishphotodesk


    OP, you need to speak with a specialist in family law.

    Best thing you can do is get legals on this and sit down for mediation, judges can recognise false claims and legal teams can often highlight a false claim to a judge and use it as leverage in negotiations.

    It might cost a bit of money but in the long run you should get the best outcome for your children, because that's essentially what a divorce is about ... Providing for the kids to ensure their lives continue with minimal disruption.

    Make a note of false claims and present them to legals, try to remember you both (as parents) should be seeking what's best for the kids, it's not about getting one over on the other parent.

    Fight for what's right ... Not for greed, which it would appear she/her legals are trying to get, if she has made demands you can counter with your own demands, it's possible that her legals are seeking everything so you will allow wiggle room on stuff (for example, 50:50 custody in exchange for the house or for the maintenance money)

    Her list of demands are effective haggling....talk to some legals who understand this area of law, it's a horrible vindictive area when parents overlook who should be taken care of first (the kids) .... It's pure greed and poisonous people giving advice (not always the legals but sometimes new partners etc)

    Best of luck with the battle, stay strong.


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