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30-09-2002, 16:27   #1
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I think that a friend of mine is gay

and i have no idea how to deal with the situation if he came out.

you might say, it has nothing to do with me, but ive known him for a few years and hes a good friend. and i'd prefer to know how to deal with it if it came up.

i have no notion of approaching him about it as that would be the quickest way to lose a friend if they were'nt gay.
But are there any signs that i should look out for?

dont even bother with the stereotypical signs, because hes anything but typical.
 
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30-09-2002, 16:45   #2
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why dont you stop worrying about what you want ad worry about what your friend wants?

if he comes out, then fine, if he doesnt respect it. besides, you could be completely wrong.
havent you got anything better to be doing than worrying about other peoples sexuality anyway. does it really matter who he fúcks?
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30-09-2002, 16:54   #3
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and i have no idea how to deal with the situation if he came out.

what's to deal with?
so what if he is, do you intend to treat him different or something?
never assume anything about anyone until they tell you to, just 'cos you think he is, doesn't mean he is. Why make hassle for yourself and him where there is none, there are enough things in life to worry about without wondering about 'what if'....
and.....
if he is, you deal with it by saying 'cool' and carry on as before.


wwm - gentle as ever I see..
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30-09-2002, 20:11   #4
 
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Kill him.

.logic.
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30-09-2002, 20:15   #5
 
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Quote:
have no idea how to deal with the situation if he came out.
There's nothing /to/ deal with. If you think you already know, when he tells you, you say "yeah I know, it's cool" and then continue as normal.

What's the problem?
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30-09-2002, 23:42   #6
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30-09-2002, 23:53   #7
 
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You know, just when I thought I'd worked out Merc, off he goes and finds yet another cache of extraordinarily powerful drugs....


Er, he does have a point buried in all that somewhere though. The knowledge that your friend is gay shouldn't change anything about the dynamic of your relationship, and if you try and tread on eggshells around him or ponder every word you say, you'll only end up insulting him and growing apart from him because you're not comfortable with him any more.

Nobody's died. He hasn't got a fatal disease that gives him six months to live. He just fancies having sex with other blokes (you probably NOT included, sunshine ) - no big deal. Nothing changes, you just carry on as normal, slag him off as a friend same way you always would, do the same things you always would... And if he ever tells you that some bloke you walk past is gorgeous, you're still entirely entitled to scream "TOO MUCH INFORMATION" at him
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01-10-2002, 09:02   #8
 
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Don't ever go for a piss in the pub at the same time. He's bound to try and **** you in the ass.

.logic.
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01-10-2002, 09:17   #9
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Originally posted by logic1:

Don't ever go for a piss in the pub at the same time. He's bound to try and **** you in the ass
Speaking from personal experience logic ?

Anyway, I'll just say "what he said" and agree with the previous posters (well, maybe not logic). Just be cool, don't act like it's a big deal and try to be supportive if he asks.

Also, I wonder on what basis you deem him to be a possible homosexual. I know some people who are quite camp and yet are completely heterosexual and others who are straight acting who are in actuality about as straight as a roundabout. If he got drunk one night and snogged another man then yeah that's a pretty good indication but unless it was something obvious like that I'd be careful before speculating too much as to his sexuality. If he's likely to be gay because he's not "typical" then I think half the boards population is likely to be gay
 
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01-10-2002, 09:20   #10
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D'oh, that was me above. Goddamit, I never make the mistake of posting unregistered (usually)
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01-10-2002, 09:22   #11
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Quote:
Originally posted by swiss
D'oh, that was me above. Goddamit, I never make the mistake of posting unregistered (usually)
do i make you horny baby?
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01-10-2002, 09:45   #12
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Quote:
Originally posted by Shinji

The knowledge that your friend is gay shouldn't change anything about the dynamic of your relationship, and if you try and tread on eggshells around him or ponder every word you say, you'll only end up insulting him and growing apart from him because you're not comfortable with him any more.
Absolutely agree here, carry on as normal, keep making the same jokes etc. A friend of mine said that that was when he knew I was ok, when I kept on with the same ol slagging.

And of course hit them for drinks to cope with 'the shock'

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01-10-2002, 10:09   #13
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Re: I think that a friend of mine is gay

Quote:
Originally posted by Unregistered
and i have no idea how to deal with the situation if he came out.
Like the others say, you go "Ok, cool" and get on with life. They don't do a support pack or handouts

Last edited by BuffyBot; 01-10-2002 at 10:11.
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01-10-2002, 11:05   #14
 
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I wouldnt recomend confronting him about it.

For some people it takes time, firstly to come to terms with being Gay, then to decide to tell mates.

remember it took me ages to get round to finally telling all my close college mates. then chinese whispers took over.

If someone had confronted me about my sexuality before i had become comfortable with it, i would have run a million miles scared.

Just be cool about it when he does decide to tell you. And maybe one or two very subtle hints that you would be cool about it if he did decide to tell you.
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01-10-2002, 11:43   #15
 
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And your friend being gay is relevant to your life how?
Exactly.

If he hits on you and you aren't receptive then perhaps it's relevant when you say 'sorry I'm striaght' else is whinging and or borderline homophobia.
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