Fellow men, I need a Hobbie before the women drive me demented

wally1990 · 20-10-2020 6:55pm #1

My niece and sister had to move in with me and my wife

Now it's constant gossip, chatter and pointless conversations

They stand outside the house gossiping and talking absolute rubbish with the 2 female neighbors too (being friendly they call it)

I'm cracking up, I'm literally surrounded now by women yapping all day long.

I'm too introverted for all this and need my own space

So men...... How do you escape this madness?

Women just love yapping. Yapping. And yapping about every single absolute piece of rubbish

Did you see what blogger X said
Did you see what blogger X is wearing or what her son had on
Did you hear about X down the road
Where did so and so get that car

Freezing aint it.... Ya gurl...
You cold?..
. Ya gurl, cold isn't it
Ya gurl

Now with lockdown I'm trapped this madness

Send help (or at least tips for your fellow man to escape this madness and mind his mental health!)

Hyperbollix · 20-10-2020 7:06pm

Take up cycling. Go the whole hog with a decent bike and a kinky amount of lycra. With the 5km restriction, you can still do 30km loops around your house and disappear for a good 2/3 hours.

McGinniesta · 20-10-2020 7:13pm

Fart porn and curries

tjdaly · 20-10-2020 7:27pm

Have you considered miniatures?

Stihl waters · 20-10-2020 7:35pm

It always fascinated me as to how women can talk about nothing for so long, my women is a lecturer in a university, you'd think after interacting with students and staff all day she would have enough said but no, she has to take me through her day from the time she gets to work until the time she comes home, I don't even have to respond, just sit here pretending to listen. Love to bits tho so I wouldn't change it for the world and the evening she's not home I feel like I'm living in a cave with the dogs, never change sugar tits

cj maxx · 20-10-2020 7:35pm

Buy a couple of kegs and a dart board for shed / garage/ quiet room .
Go in and drink , practice darts . Keep practising till you do a 501 finish.
That will be a while so at least you can drink

Poor Uncle Tom · 20-10-2020 7:36pm

wally1990 wrote: »

Freezing aint it.... Ya gurl...
You cold?..
. Ya gurl, cold isn't it
Ya gurl

Get off the halting site for a bit, get a shed and a hobby

MrMusician18 · 20-10-2020 7:37pm

Noise cancelling headphones and white noise is my saviour some days

Username here · 20-10-2020 7:49pm

McGinniesta wrote: »

Fart porn and curries

WTF is fart porn??

Ninthlife · 20-10-2020 7:51pm

Username here wrote: »

WTF is fart porn??

Its gas

Stovepipe · 20-10-2020 7:53pm

build a man cave,paid for by the rent you charge those freeloaders;-)

Signore Fancy Pants · 20-10-2020 7:53pm

tjdaly wrote: »

Have you considered miniatures?

Leave the poor midgets alone!

Potential-Monke · 20-10-2020 7:55pm

Gaming and surround sound headphones.

GetWithIt · 20-10-2020 7:56pm

Fantasy Football
https://touch.boards.ie/forum/1535
You now have no life. Please thank me later.

Church on Tuesday · 20-10-2020 7:58pm

Ninthlife wrote: »

Its gas

A real blowout.

kowloon · 20-10-2020 8:08pm

Watch burn after reading, build your own handcrafted chair.

20-10-2020 8:10pm

Women are just the worst

Sardonicat · 20-10-2020 8:12pm

kowloon wrote: »

Watch burn after reading, build your own handcrafted chair.

Then charge them for a go on it.

JasonStatham · 20-10-2020 8:12pm

wally1990 wrote: »

My niece and sister had to move in with me and my wife

Now it's constant gossip, chatter and pointless conversations

They stand outside the house gossiping and talking absolute rubbish with the 2 female neighbors too (being friendly they call it)

I'm cracking up, I'm literally surrounded now by women yapping all day long.

I'm too introverted for all this and need my own space

So men...... How do you escape this madness?

Women just love yapping. Yapping. And yapping about every single absolute piece of rubbish

Did you see what blogger X said
Did you see what blogger X is wearing or what her son had on
Did you hear about X down the road
Where did so and so get that car

Freezing aint it.... Ya gurl...
You cold?..
. Ya gurl, cold isn't it
Ya gurl

Now with lockdown I'm trapped this madness

Send help (or at least tips for your fellow man to escape this madness and mind his mental health!)

Oh god this is precisely why i don't want to ever live with a woman.

Green Mile · 20-10-2020 8:12pm

Highly recommend a good quality telescope. Who isn’t into seeing the planets and galaxies!
Couple of cans, the stars, the couple of cans.
Thats what I do anyway

20-10-2020 8:19pm

Green Mile wrote: »

Highly recommend a good quality telescope. Who isn’t into seeing the planets and galaxies!
Couple of cans, the stars, the couple of cans.
Thats what I do anyway

and creep on the neighbours beefing

.anon. · 20-10-2020 8:20pm

bluewolf wrote: »

Women are just the worst

God be with the days when a wife was seen and not heard, unless it was calling its husband to let him know that his dinner was ready. Sure now they do be talking and everything.

corner of hells · 20-10-2020 8:24pm

Green Mile wrote: »

Highly recommend a good quality telescope. Who isn’t into seeing the planets and galaxies!
Couple of cans, the stars, the couple of cans.
Thats what I do anyway

You'd think that would work, wouldn't ya ?

I bought myself a fairly decent telescope thinking she'd have no interest , now I regularly have this drunk sitting beside me with a glass of wine telling me how her day went , what her sister said , wanting to know what I'm looking at and can she have a go now.

Loveinapril · 20-10-2020 8:24pm

bluewolf wrote: »

Women are just the worst

It certainly sounds like those women are.

gozunda · 20-10-2020 8:27pm

Keep nodding. With the occasional 'yes dear'. Wouldn't have it any other way

iamstop · 20-10-2020 8:30pm

Convert a room into the 'studio'.

You'll need:
A computer
A DJ Controller
Some DJ software and some music making software
A gang load of tracks and a gang load of samples. The more bass the better.
Some decent monitor speakers and some decent headphones.

With this you can switch between making your own tunes and listening to/mixing other peoples tunes. Literally endless possibilities and it'll drown out the gossip drawl to boot. Pepper with cans as you see fit.

cj maxx · 20-10-2020 8:31pm

Green Mile wrote: »

Highly recommend a good quality telescope. Who isn’t into seeing the planets and galaxies!
Couple of cans, the stars, the couple of cans.
Thats what I do anyway

The only thing about that is you can’t count on the weather.
Going out for a gaze while it’s cloudy as hell might land you in more trouble. It’s better to be less obvious !

_Brian · 20-10-2020 8:37pm

JasonStatham wrote: »

Oh god this is precisely why i don't want to ever live with a woman.

This isn’t all women.
Three women in this house, wife and two daughters 18 & 12.

Never watch any soaps, no gossiping, no rubbish about reality tv. Herself works hard, brings home a great wage. No time for idle messing about. 18yo at school
And works too but work is off with covid. Youngest spends all free time down in our stable with her pony.

I couldn’t be putting up with all that false life OP is describing.

OP hlget yourself out walking or cycling in the fresh air.

McGinniesta · 20-10-2020 8:40pm

Username here wrote: »

WTF is fart porn??

Are you trying to tell me that you haven't watched the lovely girls of pornoland farting on each other?

Poor Uncle Tom · 20-10-2020 8:45pm

McGinniesta wrote: »

Are you trying to tell me that you haven't watched the lovely girls of pornoland farting on each other?

It;s all sh1ts and giggles until someone giggles and........

riffmongous · 20-10-2020 8:52pm

From the man who brought you that absolute cracker of a thread "When to file assessment form 11" and "To the accountants out there, what is your opinion on the Revenue V perrigo case"

Sorry OP :P

kowloon · 20-10-2020 8:53pm

You could watch all 36 hours of Handmaid's Tale with them and at the end tell them to consider it a warning.

Dr. Bre · 20-10-2020 8:54pm

Username here wrote: »

WTF is fart porn??

Is it people on the internet farting ?

20-10-2020 8:59pm

Buy yourself a hornby trainset like caledonian bell.

Argos takes care of it.

Or

Sacelxtric

Wacky Racers.

Tell any jealous envious niece to watch a dozen wacky races cartoons before she gets a go

ablelocks · 20-10-2020 8:59pm

I was just about to post

this is after hours, ffs - 3 pages and no-one has asked the obvious "is she hot".

then i thought i better go back and check to see exactly who it was that moved in. He said sister, i read sister-in-law

carry on

Potential-Monke · 20-10-2020 9:21pm

Is she hot though?

ILoveYourVibes · 20-10-2020 9:27pm

wally1990 wrote: »

Send help (or at least tips for your fellow man to escape this madness and mind his mental health!)

A hobby isn't going to help you.

Only being less grumpy will. Or at least not AVOIDING the issue ...but learning how to deal with it.

Infact ....hobbies often make this worse for men i have noticed. As its avoiding the issue.

The issue being they never learnt how to deal with incessant chatter ...only to avoid it.

And YES i understand incessant chatter can be ..ANNOYING

My father ..MY GAWD ...he doesn't LET anyone else talk sometimes.

There is no malice in it.

But what i do ...is I daydream. With the odd hmm mmm hmm mm

When we are in the car ..i play music ..it stops people chatting.

The alternative ..is learning the art of turning the conversation into something that interests you. But i think that might be a bit much for the OP.

But i promise avoiding the problem will have you in a hole ....i.e living in a shed.

Montage of Feck · 20-10-2020 9:29pm

Sardonicat wrote: »

Then charge them for a go on it.

Oh, I remember that film now.

listermint · 20-10-2020 9:30pm

Buy a shed. And just sit out in it watching sports or reading the paper. Pretend you're building stuff.

ILoveYourVibes · 20-10-2020 9:32pm

listermint wrote: »

Buy a shed. And just sit out in it watching sports or reading the paper. Pretend you're building stuff.

#Shedlife

:pac:

ILoveYourVibes · 20-10-2020 9:35pm

Well whatever you do ..don't choose learning a language ..you need to talk a lot.

Maybe jogging ? yoga?

Someone mentioned cycling?

Trains?

Building models?

Drones?

Flying mini planes?

We always wonder how our fathers get like this. I mean sad and demented playing with trains etc. I guess this is it !

ILoveYourVibes · 20-10-2020 9:39pm

Loveinapril wrote: »

It certainly sounds like those women are.

You should meet my dad ......

'lets have a conversation'

'have a conversation with your old dad!'

unfortunately my mother is just as bad

i've learnt to deal though ....without being grumpy

twowheelsonly · 20-10-2020 9:46pm

Become a naturist.

Your own space and endless peace and quiet.

Incessantly scratching your sweaty man bits adds a nice touch.

Thank me later...

thunderdog · 20-10-2020 9:51pm

Sounds like you might need to go for the ‘yap for fap’ exchange scheme. Each time all of them are yapping away, you find a nice quiet place for a fap instead. It will take your mind off the constant yapping at least. Not a hobbie per se, but definitely time well spent

sf80 · 20-10-2020 9:53pm

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

The alternative ..is learning the art of turning the conversation into something that interests you. But i think that might be a bit much for the OP.

But i promise avoiding the problem will have you in a hole ....i.e living in a shed.

What you fail to grasp is that many men like living in a shed.

Schwiiing · 20-10-2020 10:21pm

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Life-Changing-Magic-Sheds-Henry-Cole/dp/1529406552/ref=sr_1_1?crid=ME5IUH39GMXO&dchild=1&keywords=life+changing+magic+of+sheds&qid=1603228887&sprefix=life+ch%2Caps%2C313&sr=8-1

Sardonicat · 20-10-2020 10:24pm

sf80 wrote: »

What you fail to grasp is that many men like living in a shed.

My partner doesn't even live with me and he absolutely loves his shed.

bilbot79 · 20-10-2020 10:30pm

Put football on TV. Avoid eye contact.

chiefwiggum · 20-10-2020 10:33pm

Build models!

TuringBot47 · 20-10-2020 10:34pm

bilbot79 wrote: »

Put football on TV. Avoid eye contact.

Cheaper to put football on the radio in that case.

20-10-2020 10:38pm

chiefwiggum wrote: »

Build models!

I was thinking more...

Fellow men, I need a Hobbie before the women drive me demented

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