Married at First Sight

FixdePitchmark · 19-07-2020 2:37am #1

Ok

I know we are in an era of freedom , self determination and instant life.

But - there have been a few questions asked about the likes of Love Island, first dates , big brother.

Just seen a First Dates where the girl is actually dying.

Is there any case to argue that these shows are totally exploitative.

I know we enjoy voyeurism and - in fairness the show seem to work for the people. First dates has good a positive , genuine vibe.

But - marrying at first sight - is that not wrong on every level and a bit - call me old fashioned - a ****ing disgrace.

I think I'm fine with all the shows - but is married at first sight even real, or legal. I had to do a course to get married.

19-07-2020 3:13am

FixdePitchmark wrote: »

I think I'm fine with all the shows - but is married at first sight even real, or legal.

It's legal. You can even get married for entertainment purposes.
In Ireland, think the only legal barriers to marriage between single, consenting adults are consanguinity and immigration fraud.

I haven't seen the Marriage programme you're referring to, but it probably isn't exploitative. Still, all these shows have one thing in common — the commodification of love in pursuit of profit, in which transaction the currency is physical beauty.

This represents the worst of our nature. I think its actively harmful, not because I believe in marriage, but because it tends to belittle love as a variant of desire and hedonism.

But in saying that, lets not kid ourselves that marriage was ever really about love. It was about stability, surely, but also the controlled transfer of property and resources. It's the trivialisation of love that I have an issue with tbh.

LilacNails · 19-07-2020 3:23am

I have to admit, I have only seen the Australian one, but it's brilliant tv

Sac O Spuds · 19-07-2020 3:33am

Have you seen Naked Attraction at all?

SusieBlue · 19-07-2020 3:34am

I’ve seen the UK version of this show, and it made for some very interesting viewing.

The couples are matched by a team of experts using various factors, from culture, religion, education, ambition, family values, IQ, levels of attractiveness, love languages, world view and future goals.
On paper, these couples are 100% compatible, and should live happily ever after.

But so far that hasn’t been the case, on the UK series not one couple has lasted more than a few months.
It goes to show how chemistry and connection count for a lot, because despite these couples being technically perfect for each other, none of them have gone the distance.

It actually made for some seriously uncomfortable, cringy viewing watching two strangers get married in front of their friends and family, and then try to navigate a marriage.
In the last series there was a horrific scene where the father of the groom made some unsavoury comments about the brides appearance when he saw her walking up the aisle, as he didn’t consider her attractive enough for his son. It was so awkward.

In fairness most of the people on the show seemed normal and decent enough, none of them struck me as the usual fame hungry reality tv types.
There are rules for applying - to be considered you must have never been married, have no children, and be in permanent employment earning at least £25k.
So that does weed out a lot of the people who would be doing it for the wrong reasons.

I think it made for a really interesting social experiment. It proves that even if someone is perfect for you on paper, if the connection and chemistry isn’t there, then there’s no future.

Treppen · 19-07-2020 3:37am

Were all on the pathway to death op

Canis Lupus · 19-07-2020 3:48am

There's another one here in Australia called Farmer needs a wife and that's wildly successful. A quick google shows 8 successful marriages which I think is kinda cool in a sea of shyte like MAFS etc where it's just plastic vapid individuals who want their faces on tv for their 15 minutes.

19-07-2020 3:51am

Canis Lupus wrote: »

There's another one here in Australia called Farmer needs a wife and that's wildly successful. A quick google shows 8 successful marriages

Over what timeframe though, like when did that air?

Canis Lupus · 19-07-2020 4:06am

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

Over what timeframe though, like when did that air?

Wiki says 10 seasons on and off from 2007 to 2016 and looks like 9 couples with a whole bunch of children.

Earthhorse · 19-07-2020 9:26am

Yeah, MAFS is interesting and entertaining. There was one couple on the Australian one that lasted for a few years; they had a kid and I think he wanted more but she didn't. It's not nearly as exploitative as it sounds; there are couples who withdraw from the process after being selected and they do have access to a counsellor if required, at least in one of the one's I watched.

I think there's an American couple who've lasted as well but I didn't watch that series so I’m not 100% on that.

Kylta · 19-07-2020 9:31am

FixdePitchmark wrote: »

Ok

I know we are in an era of freedom , self determination and instant life.

But - there have been a few questions asked about the likes of Love Island, first dates , big brother.

Just seen a First Dates where the girl is actually dying.

Is there any case to argue that these shows are totally exploitative.

I know we enjoy voyeurism and - in fairness the show seem to work for the people. First dates has good a positive , genuine vibe.

But - marrying at first sight - is that not wrong on every level and a bit - call me old fashioned - a ****ing disgrace.

I think I'm fine with all the shows - but is married at first sight even real, or legal. I had to do a course to get married.

I am a lucky man I don't indulge in any reality TV.

Gregor Samsa · 19-07-2020 9:44am

Edit: oh, is “Married At First Sight” is a reality show itself? I hadn’t heard of it, and didn’t realise that from the way the OP is written. I thought you were talking about people on First Dates getting married, and I couldn’t understand the problem with that.

As for doing a course to get married, that’s just a Catholic Church requirement. You don’t need to do a course for a civil wedding.

eviltwin · 19-07-2020 9:45am

I don’t usually watch reality tv but I have to say I am loving the Aussie series on E4 at the moment

jaxxx · 19-07-2020 9:56am

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

It's legal. You can even get married for entertainment purposes.
In Ireland, think the only legal barriers to marriage between single, consenting adults are consanguinity and immigration fraud.

I haven't seen the Marriage programme you're referring to, but it probably isn't exploitative. Still, all these shows have one thing in common — the commodification of love in pursuit of profit, in which transaction the currency is physical beauty.

This represents the worst of our nature. I think its actively harmful, not because I believe in marriage, but because it tends to belittle love as a variant of desire and hedonism.

But in saying that, lets not kid ourselves that marriage was ever really about love. It was about stability, surely, but also the controlled transfer of property and resources. It's the trivialisation of love that I have an issue with tbh.

And yet 2 people of the same sex who love each other still cannot get married in many many parts of the world.. .. .. But it's perfectly acceptable for a man and woman who've known each other for all of 5 minutes to do so. Think I read something yesterday about some church up in the North that refuses to marry gay couples.

And people wonder why I'm pessimistic all the time :rolleyes:

eviltwin · 19-07-2020 10:00am

98fm did it years ago. They used the same techniques used by matchmakers and got the bride's family involved in the selection process. The "wedding" wasn't legal but they moved in together and ended up marrying properly and are still together afaik

JustAThought · 19-07-2020 10:07am

I scooted into the Australian one for a bit but it seemed so OTT and the women were all absolutely STUNNING - blonde identical twins, ex models, etc so I couldn’t really take it seriously other than as a dating reality quick fame tv game. Thou the cowboy and his truck driving lady did seem really sincere I couldn’t tKe much more of it.

I had watched quite a few series of another one - can’t remember if UK or USA and I had to stop watching it eventually - disaster TV - some of them had had Church weddings and were really religious and so were their families so you knew they badly wanted it to work, some had married good on paper but violent men and some had married chronic gamblers but signed up
for joint bank accounts and some were somhungry for love and desperate when things started slipping away that their hurt and anguish was just heartbreaking to watch. In the wnd I had to turn if off -I felt like I was exploiting vulnerable and desperate people who
just wanted love and happiness.

mariaalice · 20-07-2020 12:07am

There was an Irish radio station about 20 years ago who got twp strangers to marry each other but there was a lot of research in to matching them and by all accounts they were very happy.

Princess Calla · 20-07-2020 12:27am

FixdePitchmark wrote: »

But - marrying at first sight - is that not wrong on every level and a bit - call me old fashioned - a ****ing disgrace.

Maybe skip "labor of love" so.

For those who haven't heard of it.... Basically a woman ready to have a child and 15 men competing to be the daddy..... The first episode they had a meet and greet but instead of champagne on the servers trays there were specimen jars... The guys were then taken outside where a mobile lab was waiting, 5 cubicles for the men to eh give their sample while the rest of them waited outside.... The specimen was then analyzed for quantity, motility and morphology I think.... They announced the guy with the most swimmers.......

Adults taking part in reality TV is one thing but I really wonder about the ethics of bringing a child into it, I think it certainly crosses a line. *

* I haven't watched it, they showed a clip on celebrity gogglebox USA.

cj maxx · 20-07-2020 12:30am

Princess Calla wrote: »

Maybe skip "labor of love" so.

For those who haven't heard of it.... Basically a woman ready to have a child and 15 men competing to be the daddy..... The first episode they had a meet and greet but instead of champagne on the servers trays there were specimen jars... The guys were then taken outside where a mobile lab was waiting, 5 cubicles for the men to eh give their sample while the rest of them waited outside.... The specimen was then analyzed for quantity, motility and morphology I think.... They announced the guy with the most swimmers.......

Adults taking part in reality TV is one thing but I really wonder about the ethics of bringing a child into it, I think it certainly crosses a line. *

* I haven't watched it, they showed a clip on celebrity gogglebox USA.

Jayus I've heard it all now

L1011 · 20-07-2020 12:31am

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

It's legal. You can even get married for entertainment purposes.
In Ireland, think the only legal barriers to marriage between single, consenting adults are consanguinity and immigration fraud.

And a time delay; that means any of these stunts that have been done so far in Ireland have been bolloxology "ceremonies" with no legal basis.

I find them particularly pathetic when a decent % of the population had to quite recently fight for a referendum to be allowed marry the person they love.

Princess Calla · 20-07-2020 12:37am

cj maxx wrote: »

Jayus I've heard it all now

Yeah I was looking at it through my fingers going this can't be happening..... It was actually hilarious* if there wasn't potentially a baby at the end of it..... Though they haven't shown any more clips so no idea of the progress.

*morally and ethically I'd be against the show but it was funny in a total cringe wtf am I watching kinda way.

El_Duderino 09 · 20-07-2020 12:45am

SusieBlue wrote: »

I’ve seen the UK version of this show, and it made for some very interesting viewing.

The couples are matched by a team of experts using various factors, from culture, religion, education, ambition, family values, IQ, levels of attractiveness, love languages, world view and future goals.
On paper, these couples are 100% compatible, and should live happily ever after.

But so far that hasn’t been the case, on the UK series not one couple has lasted more than a few months.
It goes to show how chemistry and connection count for a lot, because despite these couples being technically perfect for each other, none of them have gone the distance.

It actually made for some seriously uncomfortable, cringy viewing watching two strangers get married in front of their friends and family, and then try to navigate a marriage.
In the last series there was a horrific scene where the father of the groom made some unsavoury comments about the brides appearance when he saw her walking up the aisle, as he didn’t consider her attractive enough for his son. It was so awkward.

In fairness most of the people on the show seemed normal and decent enough, none of them struck me as the usual fame hungry reality tv types.
There are rules for applying - to be considered you must have never been married, have no children, and be in permanent employment earning at least £25k.
So that does weed out a lot of the people who would be doing it for the wrong reasons.

I think it made for a really interesting social experiment. It proves that even if someone is perfect for you on paper, if the connection and chemistry isn’t there, then there’s no future.

Ah yeah but hhe show also attracts people who just want the bit if fame. There was on rcoupoe in the first UK season with a guy from Birmingham and a woman who was. Police officer. She seemed bang on but he was only I it for the fame (I was pretty sure he was gay). He has since been on Big Brother.

It's just good TV. Nobody is doing social experiments on TV. TV I'd for creating entertainment, not social experiments. Nobody would invest money in a TV show that is primarily social experimental and just hope it's happens to be entertaining.

I happened to like the two UK season I saw. There was a similar Netflix version called Love is Blind. Worth a watch if you liked Love is Blind.

Married at First Sight

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