Kids hanging around me while fixing car

How well do you know the kids, OP? For me, the response seems odd. Why would you NOT tie the child's shoelace? Or at least let him tie it himself with you telling him how.

But then again, I'm female. Although I do not have kids, my natural instinct would be to of course tie the lace good and tight, so he doesn't trip and hurt himself.

But I guess times have changed and you can't be too careful.

Out on the street, in plain sight and doing something innocent like tinkering with your car, I'd be OK with helping the child with his shoelaces. And chatting with children is ok. As long as you don't try to touch them and keep your distance, I'd say it's fine. Anyone watching in good faith will see it's innocent chatting.

Yea, unfortunately you can't be too careful now a days. Well done for being vigilant in my opinion.
It's also annoying to be working away and being distracted by these children not to mention dangerous.
I'd say maybe don't engage at all with them, be brusque without being rude (that's another minefield) and hopefully they'll pee off and leave you alone.

moreconcerned wrote: »

I would be more concerned with the possibility of them getting hurt. if there are that many dangerous items maybe you should not be working on the car there. I would wonder about it s legality

Y - that’s the typical reply you’d expect from the bored housewife/ husband brigade when you don’t fawn over their children and indulge them at every point.

OP - things can go wrong and get out of hand very quickly where children - ie their parents are concerned. Personally I’d also be wary of being too brusque to the kids or being too familiar and friendly - the easiest way to anger a mob of bored or frustrated househusbands/wifes is not to tolerate their kids, and equally to be too friendly with them - its hard to win.

I remember years ago kids would cluster around anyone doing anything mechanical or interesting on the road and vie to be in with them or hang around with them - especially car mad or attention starved boys. Sadly those innocent days have long passed and it might be better to pass a few minutes being nice but not too friendly with them before say something like Goodbye now - I have to concentrate & can’t talk anymore - enjoy your playing before stucking your head firmly in the engine and becoming deaf. Headphones might help too!

kidshangingaround wrote: »

Thanks everyone for your replies. Nice to know I was not being silly in refusing to tie a lace! (and sad we have to think this way)

I'll try to get rid of them in future using the danger of tools angle as suggested by some, thanks!

That might work. But I've never heard of a young lad who isn't Intrigued by power tools and telling them they're dangerous will only sweeten the deal. And if you find out who the parents are, don't lie to them about imaginary dangers from spanners and wrenches. They'll see through the lie and have legitimate reason to wonder about you. If you have genuinely dangerous tools like angle grinders or welding equipment then fair enough but they might have good reason to ask you not to use those tools in the public road (if you're doing it on the street)

In any case, employing obvious subterfuge is only going to make you seem suspicious. Just chat with them for a couple of minutes, satisfy their curiosity and they'll probably get bored and be ready to move on. Then say you need to concentrate, as the poster above suggested, and say goodbye.

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

Ah come on. There's very little chance that they would be labelled anything. The idea that tgey would be labelled is being hysterical. Let's not pretend every time an adult talks to a child or does something like tie their shoelaces, in plain view and not being any way secretive or dodgy or trying to touch the child, someone labels them.

It doesnt have to be everytime, it just has to be once and happen to you.

OP what’s the context here? Are they being cheeky kids trying to annoy you and take the piss? Or are they nice kids just taking an interest because you’ve got a cool car? That’s kinda pivotal to how I’d view it.

I wouldn’t be overthinking whether people are going to worry you’re a pedophile. People will start to take notice of people when they’re taking an active interest in children. But just responding politely and engaging back when they engage you is fine. It’s weirder to be hostile towards them. Kids or not, as a rule, if you just behave appropriately in a given situation people will respond as such. But I appreciate for some gauging that can be a difficulty with absolutely no malice intended. So yeah if you’re finding that line difficult you’re probably best erring on the side of caution and doing your own thing.

I honestly don’t think things are such that you’ll be “labelled” for talking to neighbourhood kids or tying a shoelace. My kids, and all their friends, occasionally chat to people in our estate about their car/cat/dog/whatever, and I have kids I don’t know come up to me and ask questions if I’m doing stuff in the front garden. It’s perfectly normal, and any parent who lets their kids out to play in public in the first place will know that it’s perfectly normal.

If you don’t want to talk to them for whatever reason, or don’t want to tie a lace, that’s perfectly fine, just tell them you’re busy and to move on and play elsewhere.

If you do chat to them, obviously don’t let them into your house, into the car, or give them treats or anything - that’s where a line would be crossed. But you clearly know that yourself.

Sometimes it’s good to get to know the kids in your area - as they grow up, they’re less likely to give you any hassle if they know you.

And I certainly wouldn’t worry about servicing your car on the road. Obviously don’t leave an angle grinder running unattended, but don’t worry about your bag of spanners and sockets.

This is really a sad situation but you're probably right to not fully engage with them. I say it's sad because we had an old man on my estate when I was a kid who was a welder. Any time we saw him out in his shed we would all go in and watch him work on whatever and he would teach us and tell us what he was doing. Unfortunately I couldnt see that happening nowadays and it's a sad reflection on society.

Even from my own pov, we have the kids from across the green knock into our house to ask can they take my dog to play with him. At first I wasnt sure what to do so went over to ask the parents was this ok. Now when they knock in I always make sure they've told their.parents first and they go off happily with the dog around the green. It's sad that I have to be so careful about something so simple as a child wanting to play with a dog.

Bobtheman wrote: »

I disagree. Tying a kids shoe laces is just that no matter how social service over Lord's spin it. Perhaps move your car tinkering to another place if you want privacy

All it takes is someone to say " that old fella is always chatting with the young kids and asking do they want a spin in his car" and you will be labelled a paedo under the " no smoke without fire" rule. Middle aged, single, no kids enough said

Edgware wrote: »

All it takes is someone to say " that old fella is always chatting with the young kids and asking do they want a spin in his car" and you will be labelled a paedo under the " no smoke without fire" rule. Middle aged, single, no kids enough said

Like this isn’t something that realistically happens though, is it? I’m sure people have anecdotal stories that can’t be verified, but it’s not something I’ve ever heard of in my own life happening nor do I see it on the news. If anything what I’d be more familiar with from my own experience is people who I’d consider a bit suss being allowed to actively participate in areas that’d give them access to children, rather than innocent people being burned at the stake over non-incidents. But the point is what you’re saying isn’t enough of a thing IMO to advise another person to modify their behaviour accordingly.