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Jealousy

  • 10-05-2020 1:04pm
    #1
    mr_fegelien
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,483 ✭✭✭


    How do you avoid it, going out into town and seeing someone better looking, richer, smarter, healthier etc..?

    Gratitude never seems to work on me, maybe I'm too narcissistic but seeing a homeless person, starving person in a war torn country or disabled person never makes me feel better about my plight or even guilty. It's just seeing others do better that ticks me off.


«1

Comments

  • #2
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 6,192 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Its called begrudery

    Belived by many,to be soley an irish trait


  • #3
    whiskeyman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,564 ✭✭✭✭whiskeyman


    mr_fegelien wrote: »
    How do you avoid it, going out into town and seeing someone better looking, richer, smarter, healthier etc..?

    Stay at home.

    Never felt more beautiful.


  • #4
    Conall Cernach
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,952 ✭✭✭Conall Cernach


    That particular deadly sin is called envy not jealousy.


  • #5
    Giraffe Box
    Closed Accounts Posts: 259 ✭✭Giraffe Box


    It's easy not to covet in these days of covid.


  • #6
    jaxxx
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,230 ✭✭✭jaxxx


    Conall Cernach wrote: »
    That particular deadly sin feeling is called envy not jealousy.


    Fixed that for you.


    What's ironic though is 'green with envy' is usually painted in simple black and white, but sometimes it's not that simple.


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  • #7
    Leftyflip
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,463 ✭✭✭Leftyflip


    I avoid it by absolutely not giving a sh*te! I couldn't care any less about a random stranger.


  • #8
    Potential-Monke
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,308 ✭✭✭✭Potential-Monke


    I had a phase of that, still do to some extent but I'd imagine most people would have some envy within them, depending on circumstances. What really goads me though, are those who have more than me but don't deserve it, didn't work for it, or like to use it to point out how much better they are, with the latter being a particular breed of prick. All by my own judgement mind, so probably wrongly so in some cases.

    The best way around it, for me, was to become a hermit and not give a fiddlers about anyone or anything outside of a close circle of family/friends. It has made me somewhat bitter and negative, but it's better than extremely bitter, constantly negative, and depressed.


  • #9
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 5,311 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    mr_fegelien wrote: »
    It's just seeing others do better that ticks me off.

    One of the most futile things in the world allowing the life of a stranger interfere with your own. Cast it to the wind, we're here for a good time not a long time.


  • #10
    kowloon
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,518 ✭✭✭✭kowloon


    Some rich guy is going to get murdered and turned into a skin suit. This thread is going to become evidence.


  • #11
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Being preoccupied with what better off people think of you is more of a lack of self esteem. If you're secure in yourself you don't worry about the opinions of random people. And being wealthier doesn't mean they have less problems, probably just different ones.


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  • #12
    Your Face
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,275 ✭✭✭Your Face


    I think a good place to start is yourself OP.
    Ask yourself why exactly are you becoming jealous of these people?


  • #13
    jim salter
    Registered Users Posts: 680 ✭✭✭jim salter


    Conall Cernach wrote: »
    That particular deadly sin is called envy not jealousy.

    Same thing


  • #14
    eviltwin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    Someone is always going to appear to be better than you OP. But appearances can be deceiving as they say. And having success in one area is no guarantee that everything else is going as well.

    Stop comparing your life to others and you will be much happier. Life's not a competition.


  • #15
    colm_mcm
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 73,478 ✭✭✭✭colm_mcm


    jim salter wrote: »
    Same thing
    Only to someone who doesn’t know the difference.


  • #16
    kowloon
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,518 ✭✭✭✭kowloon


    Candie wrote: »
    Being preoccupied with what better off people think of you is more of a lack of self esteem. If you're secure in yourself you don't worry about the opinions of random people. And being wealthier doesn't mean they have less problems, probably just different ones.

    You hear that the higher-ups have further to fall but it's definitely better than living in the gutter. They're better problems.


  • #17
    Larbre34
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,375 ✭✭✭✭Larbre34


    Visualise that you are terminally ill, maybe six months to live, that much time to make peace with your life and loved ones. What would you do?

    Of how much value is the 'stuff' you are jealous of in those circumstances?


  • #18
    jim salter
    Registered Users Posts: 680 ✭✭✭jim salter


    colm_mcm wrote: »
    Only to someone who doesn’t know the difference.

    Maybe look up the synonyms of envy ;)

    In this context


  • #19
    Potential-Monke
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,308 ✭✭✭✭Potential-Monke


    Larbre34 wrote: »
    Visualise that you are terminally ill, maybe six months to live, that much time to make peace with your life and loved ones. What would you do?

    Of how much value is the 'stuff' you are jealous of in those circumstances?

    I'd be envious/jealous of the people who were going to get my stuff when I die! I've already told them that whatever console is the current generation when I die, I want it buried with me. Ain't nobody getting my games!

    I also dislike that comparison. What if you were terminally ill. It's the same as 'think of the poor people in [insert country]'. Does nothing only open up a hypothetical situation that may never happen. People can't even make that decision because unless you're actually in that situation, you can't have an idea of what you'd do.

    I recently upgraded to a Merc. It's still a 10 year old car, but it's far more comfortable to cry in. I used to get a sore back from crying in my other cars, not in the Merc!


  • #20
    playonplayette
    Closed Accounts Posts: 100 ✭✭playonplayette


    Noones perfect. It's a normal human response. It can have a very negative effect on the person if they don't keep it in check though.

    Some people project their negative feelings of jealousy onto the person they are jealous of rather than self reflect and self accept.


  • #21
    s1ippy
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,980 ✭✭✭s1ippy


    I haven't felt an iota of jealousy since I was about 15. It's a useless and childish emotion for those lucky enough to have privileges such as food, shelter and no debilitating medical issues.

    Maybe try and make upgrades to the fegelian spaceship and engage in self-improvement. If you're doing everything you can to better yourself, then being jealous of others is futile.

    I hope now you don't get jealous of my more manageable perspective.


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  • #22
    kowloon
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,518 ✭✭✭✭kowloon


    Potential-Monke wrote: »
    I'd be envious/jealous of the people who were going to get my stuff when I die! I've already told them that whatever console is the current generation when I die, I want it buried with me. Ain't nobody getting my games!

    I want to be buried with my slaves so they can serve me in the afterlife.


  • #23
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    kowloon wrote: »
    You hear that the higher-ups have further to fall but it's definitely better than living in the gutter. They're better problems.

    We're all lying in the gutter, but there's no reason we shouldn't all look at the stars.

    Or summat like that.

    I'd rather be someone with money issues than have every material luxury and suffer chronic ill health or mental illness. You never know what someones story is by looking at them so comparisons are futile.


  • #24
    mr_fegelien
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,483 ✭✭✭mr_fegelien


    Is anyone here jealous of other people and their appearance? I'd have to say I'm not the best looking and when I get enough cash from my job in the summer, I'm hoping to improve my teeth (whiten and straighten), lighten my skin a few shades, and style my hair.

    I'm envious of a guy from my former school who is pretty good looking, almost completed his degree this year and has dated two stunners that have many pictures of themselves on Facebook, Instagram.


  • #25
    ShatterAlan
    Registered Users Posts: 2,807 ✭✭✭ShatterAlan


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Its called begrudery

    Belived by many,to be soley an irish trait


    Not really. People just call it begrudgery because they have a high horse to ride around upon. When people say they can't stand Bono, people like you come out and start screaming "Bet you wish you had his money, blah blah, you're just a bregrudger jealous of his bank account."


    It's possible to loathe someone rich and adore an equally rich person. I effing hate Madonna and she's minted. I couldn't give a toss how much she's worth. My disdain for the narcisstic cow has nothing to do with her money. I love Enya and she's loaded too.


    I don't begrudge anyone's success anymore than I laugh at anyone's misfortune. People who shout "begrudgery" are usually the kind of people who also engage in victim blaming or insisting that all poor people are poor because they are lazy, ignorant good-for-nothings.


    Is it begrudgery to hold someone rich in low esteem if they acquired their wealth through nefarious, illegal means or through cronyism and cute-hoorism?



    Take a look at Cristiano Ronaldo. He's one of the most gifted football players in history. Looks wise the man is near perfect. He's dynastically rich. I should be jealous of such a specimen but I'm not. He's an enigma. He's a gentleman and all round beautiful soul.



    Then look at others who are as wealthy and they are just cocksuckers.


  • #26
    ShatterAlan
    Registered Users Posts: 2,807 ✭✭✭ShatterAlan


    jim salter wrote: »
    Same thing


    I would beg to differ. Envy can be a positive thing while jealousy is usually negative.


    A friend sent me a pic of him on a beach in Kenya with a group of gorgeous women in bikinis. I replied back "lucky bastard, I'm green with envy"



    I'll use another football analogy. The 1999 Manchester United midfield of Giggs, Scholes, Keane and Beckham was the envy of Europe. But was admired in spades.


  • #27
    ShatterAlan
    Registered Users Posts: 2,807 ✭✭✭ShatterAlan


    mr_fegelien wrote: »
    Is anyone here jealous of other people and their appearance? I'd have to say I'm not the best looking and when I get enough cash from my job in the summer, I'm hoping to improve my teeth (whiten and straighten), lighten my skin a few shades, and style my hair.

    I'm envious of a guy from my former school who is pretty good looking, almost completed his degree this year and has dated two stunners that have many pictures of themselves on Facebook, Instagram.


    Why would you want to lighten your skin and how does one accomplish such a bizarre task. I always thought that the darker the skin the more attractive or exotic.


  • #28
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 5,311 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    mr_fegelien wrote: »
    lighten my skin a few shades

    I hear injecting bleach has multiple benefits.


  • #29
    mr_fegelien
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,483 ✭✭✭mr_fegelien


    Deleted User wrote: »
    I hear injecting bleach has multiple benefits.

    bleach is a general term that talks about various chemical agents. Household bleach (sodium hypochlorite) won't lighten your skin and is in fact toxic to be near due to the fumes. It will just burn like hell on the skin and potentially cause lung problems.

    Hair bleach (hydrogen peroxide) again has been used by some as well on the skin but it's more of making it pale rather than actual depigmentation. It definitely is the substance to whiten yellow teeth.

    The "bleach" one would be looking for is hydroquinone/mercury iodide/prescription steroids or other aromatic compound derivatives. This can lighten the skin but not without significant effects.

    Hope that cleared everything up :D


  • #30
    mr_fegelien
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,483 ✭✭✭mr_fegelien


    ShatterAlan wrote: »
    Why would you want to lighten your skin and how does one accomplish such a bizarre task. I always thought that the darker the skin the more attractive or exotic.

    See above. Use aromatics like hydroquinone, prescription corticosteroids, or plant extracts/antioxidants like kojic acid, glutathione, azelaic acid, liquorice root


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  • #31
    kowloon
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,518 ✭✭✭✭kowloon


    mr_fegelien wrote: »
    See above. Use aromatics like hydroquinone, prescription corticosteroids, or plant extracts/antioxidants like kojic acid, glutathione, azelaic acid, liquorice root

    Hydroquinone sounds similar to hydrochloroquine so they must be the same. Both a are used to treat Covid-19. Do you know what else treats Covid-19? That's right! Bleach injections. Bleach also whitens things. I have it on good authority that strong light 'brought inside the body' can also kill the virus. So, with the above indisputable evidence taken into account: Strong light will lighten your skin. You need to get out in the sun, boy!


  • #32
    LeYouth
    Closed Accounts Posts: 161 ✭✭LeYouth


    I never really had much of the emotion of jealousy towards people. I have seen people with a better life than me, but i always thought that if I was that person....then I wouldn't be me!

    Everyone has unique talents. You probably have some hidden quality that the people you are looking at don't have - maybe you just haven't discovered/realised it yet!

    Edit: and ...err...one last thing..get off Instagram!


  • #33
    kowloon
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,518 ✭✭✭✭kowloon


    LeYouth wrote: »
    Everyone has unique talents. You probably have some hidden quality that the people you are looking at don't have - maybe you just haven't discovered/realised it yet!

    I was once told by a highly regarded academic that my work wass "unique" and that I'm excellent at going off on a tangent without answering the question.


  • #34
    Wuff Wuff
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,429 ✭✭✭Wuff Wuff


    mr_fegelien wrote: »
    Is anyone here jealous of other people and their appearance? I'd have to say I'm not the best looking and when I get enough cash from my job in the summer, I'm hoping to improve my teeth (whiten and straighten), lighten my skin a few shades, and style my hair.

    I'm envious of a guy from my former school who is pretty good looking, almost completed his degree this year and has dated two stunners that have many pictures of themselves on Facebook, Instagram.

    It's the second coming of Michael Jackson

    Hope your sumer job isn't a home equivalent of
    neverland ranch


  • #35
    B.A._Baracus
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,206 ✭✭✭✭B.A._Baracus


    I couldn't care what other people have.
    So much crap anyways. Guy who has a flash car and truth he's in debt to his eyeballs. Some woman posting to social media about her "amazing life" but it's all ****e and she hasn't got a pot to piss in.

    Don't get me wrong, you have to evaluate your life and set goals to better yourself. Looking at others to see what you want is a normal thing. But put those x-ray specs on cause you will have to wade through some bs.


  • #36
    kowloon
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,518 ✭✭✭✭kowloon


    Wuff Wuff wrote: »
    Hope your sumer job isn't a home equivalent of
    neverland ranch

    I'd quite like some of the milk of amnesia if it's on offer, but I'll pass on the old rape for the time being.


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  • #37
    nthclare
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,315 ✭✭✭nthclare


    AHH yeah thout shall not covet thou neighbors goods/wife...

    It's a metaphor for not undermining yourself, your neighbor and his wife and all in sundry.

    I ain't religious but I see how it's got men into trouble for the last few thousand years...

    Imagine wasting your time lusting after your neighbors wife, and she oblivious to it but you're getting dirty thoughts about her and her hot husband the only man in her life.
    There she goes in her tennis shorts on a Saturday morning some incel leering at her, jealous of her chizzled jawed athletic husband and thinking in your head that some day I'll rescue her from him...

    Meanwhile every night they're banging away the white knight thinks he's the man for her, but she doesn't realise it yet.

    But she rolls over every morning and looks into her husband's eyes and she loves the bone's of him...
    He gets up then in his fitted boxer's and she watches him as he walks out of the bedroom and goes downstairs and makes her breakfast..his tight boxer's showing the curve's of his athletic and firm structure, in he walks 10 minutes later ,his stubble creating a Forrest of passion in her mind....he grins hops in beside her... touches the on button on the soround sound and Billy Paul drifting through the object d'art...

    They sip their tea, cupping it in their hands smiling because there's nowhere else they need to be...
    Meanwhile the white knight still thinks he's her guy :)

    Basically lusting after another man's woman or gay partner is a recipe for disaster and lead's to being a sad lonely bastard.
    There's no such thing as an ugly Man or woman but one's own thoughts can make you feel inferior.. don't give into the monkey in your back, he'll sit still, the Circus will always be in town...but you'll learn to ignore it.

    Get into the shower and abandon the shackles of jealousy and envy, put on your favourite T-shirt, jeans and boots you're not a waster you're not an incel tone up go to the gym, shave your head, grow a beard, learn how to walk alone and you'll morph into a good man, when you're ready and stable it's then you'll not be obsessed with your neighbors wife.

    They are totally oblivious to what's going on in your head, and give happiness and freedom free rent in your head, not your neighbors..

    You can do it man.. some day you'll be that handsome smouldering guy who has the beautiful wife or male partner...what ever swings your boat :)


  • #38
    kowloon
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,518 ✭✭✭✭kowloon


    nthclare wrote: »
    AHH yeah thout shall not covet thou neighbors goods/wife...

    It's a metaphor for not undermining yourself, your neighbor and his wife and all in sundry.

    I ain't religious but I see how it's got men into trouble for the last few thousand years...

    Imagine wasting your time lusting after your neighbors wife, and she oblivious to it but you're getting dirty thoughts about her and her hot husband the only man in her life.
    There she goes in her tennis shorts on a Saturday morning some incel leering at her, jealous of her chizzled jawed athletic husband and thinking in your head that some day I'll rescue her from him...

    Meanwhile every night they're banging away the white knight thinks he's the man for her, but she doesn't realise it yet.

    But she rolls over every morning and looks into her husband's eyes and she loves the bone's of him...
    He gets up then in his fitted boxer's and she watches him as he walks out of the bedroom and goes downstairs and makes her breakfast..his tight boxer's showing the curve's of his athletic and firm structure, in he walks 10 minutes later ,his stubble creating a Forrest of passion in her mind....he grins hops in beside her... touches the on button on the soround sound and Billy Paul drifting through the object d'art...

    They sip their tea, cupping it in their hands smiling because there's nowhere else they need to be...
    Meanwhile the white knight still thinks he's her guy :)

    Basically lusting after another man's woman or gay partner is a recipe for disaster and lead's to being a sad lonely bastard.
    There's no such thing as an ugly Man or woman but one's own thoughts can make you feel inferior.. don't give into the monkey in your back, he'll sit still, the Circus will always be in town...but you'll learn to ignore it.

    Get into the shower and abandon the shackles of jealousy and envy, put on your favourite T-shirt, jeans and boots you're not a waster you're not an incel tone up go to the gym, shave your head, grow a beard, learn how to walk alone and you'll morph into a good man, when you're ready and stable it's then you'll not be obsessed with your neighbors wife.

    They are totally oblivious to what's going on in your head, and give happiness and freedom free rent in your head, not your neighbors..

    You can do it man.. some day you'll be that handsome smouldering guy who has the beautiful wife or male partner...what ever swings your boat :)

    512518.png


  • #39
    nthclare
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,315 ✭✭✭nthclare


    kowloon wrote: »
    512518.png

    lol love it, I was hoping for a good response I thought it was one of those ladybird books ha

    Mills and boon, the dirty book :)


  • #40
    YFlyer
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,717 ✭✭✭YFlyer


    OP you could play Othello.


  • #41
    ShatterAlan
    Registered Users Posts: 2,807 ✭✭✭ShatterAlan


    mr_fegelien wrote: »
    See above. Use aromatics like hydroquinone, prescription corticosteroids, or plant extracts/antioxidants like kojic acid, glutathione, azelaic acid, liquorice root


    You haven't answered my question.


    Why would one want to lighten the colour of their skin? Unless trying to avoid a hate group I can't understand.


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  • #42
    Rubberchikken
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,083 ✭✭✭Rubberchikken


    Don't compare. Don't even give it a thought. No one's life is perfect. And things you see can be deceiving.


  • #43
    mr_fegelien
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,483 ✭✭✭mr_fegelien


    ShatterAlan wrote: »
    You haven't answered my question.


    Why would one want to lighten the colour of their skin? Unless trying to avoid a hate group I can't understand.

    Because let's face it, dark skin is considered unattractive in many parts of the world. I'm not saying it's OBJECTIVELY unattractive, but SOCIALLY unattractive. In nearly every country on earth, people prefer lighter skinned individuals.

    There was even a thread on boards 10 years ago about "Would you ever date a black man/woman" and it seemed that most were leaning on the no side.

    https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin//showthread.php?t=2056039933

    I don't hate Irish people for it though, cause people can't help what they like. But that means that if I want to increase my chances of appearing attractive, I need to lighten my skin.


  • #44
    Outlaw Pete
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,423 ✭✭✭✭Outlaw Pete


    Candie wrote: »
    Being preoccupied with what better off people think of you is more of a lack of self esteem. If you're secure in yourself you don't worry about the opinions of random people.

    The OP never said anything about what others think of him.


  • #45
    ShatterAlan
    Registered Users Posts: 2,807 ✭✭✭ShatterAlan


    mr_fegelien wrote: »
    Because let's face it, dark skin is considered unattractive in many parts of the world. I'm not saying it's OBJECTIVELY unattractive, but SOCIALLY unattractive. In nearly every country on earth, people prefer lighter skinned individuals.

    There was even a thread on boards 10 years ago about "Would you ever date a black man/woman" and it seemed that most were leaning on the no side.

    https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin//showthread.php?t=2056039933

    I don't hate Irish people for it though, cause people can't help what they like. But that means that if I want to increase my chances of appearing attractive, I need to lighten my skin.


    Well as a lily white Irishman who gets sunburnt at night I would date, snog, marry a black woman...IN A SECOND.


    Dated one girl from Kenya, another slightly lighter one from the Punjap in India. No marriage yet though. But those to beauties I miss, the break up was amicable. It would have been acrimonious if they were trying to bleach their beautiful skin.


  • #46
    ShatterAlan
    Registered Users Posts: 2,807 ✭✭✭ShatterAlan


    mr_fegelien wrote: »
    Because let's face it, dark skin is considered unattractive in many parts of the world. I'm not saying it's OBJECTIVELY unattractive, but SOCIALLY unattractive. In nearly every country on earth, people prefer lighter skinned individuals.

    There was even a thread on boards 10 years ago about "Would you ever date a black man/woman" and it seemed that most were leaning on the no side.

    https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin//showthread.php?t=2056039933

    I don't hate Irish people for it though, cause people can't help what they like. But that means that if I want to increase my chances of appearing attractive, I need to lighten my skin.




    You would maim yourself in order to appear "attractive" ?


    What about all the people who might find your skin colour lovely? Have you taken that group into consideration before you start acid attacking yourself?

    You want to change your body, chemically so you will be liked?

    Just STOP ....NOW!


  • #47
    ooter
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,253 ✭✭✭ooter


    how can you tell someone is richer, smarter, healthier just by looking at them?


  • #48
    mr_fegelien
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,483 ✭✭✭mr_fegelien


    ooter wrote: »
    how can you tell someone is richer, smarter, healthier just by looking at them?

    Richer - this must be a joke question cause you can tell by the style. Tracksuits vs neat, simple, quality and smartly colour matched clothing that complements their body.

    Smarter - when they open their mouth in the pub

    Healthier -.....you got a point there


  • #49
    greenspurs
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,700 ✭✭✭✭greenspurs


    Lads - how does this dude get sooo much attention on here..... If its not about sex/sexuality, its about 'his' appearance …
    FFS …
    247469249_2017413731748359_7675802031635703098_n.jpg

    "Bright lights and Thunder .................... " #NoPopcorn



  • #50
    LeYouth
    Closed Accounts Posts: 161 ✭✭LeYouth


    greenspurs wrote: »
    Lads - how does this dude get sooo much attention on here..... If its not about sex/sexuality, its about 'his' appearance …
    FFS …

    Ah we love bending over for a foreigner in this country.


  • #51
    Hector Savage
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,809 ✭✭✭Hector Savage


    "Do not compare yourself to the man on the street, compare yourself to the man you were yesterday"

    Best piece of advice I ever got ...


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