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Things I don't get about Irish weddings MOD WARNING POST #322
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I don't get top tables, especially the row ones on a mini stage. We had a round table beside everyone else.
I really hate these top tables. Sitting a straight line leering down at your subjects, only able to talk to/see the two people directly either side of you.
I had three non negotiables about the wedding, everything else was up for discussion. They were 1. No way was I getting married in a church 2. No gaggle of bridesmaids (only having one) and 3. No straight top table!
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Best of luck with your wedding:)
Which is another thing I don't get is the trouble caused by inlaws, "OOhhhh, the stress of it will kill me" attitude on the lead up and then turn up on the day all smiles.
lmao, I know right? I mean they aren't paying for it, they aren't organizing it and they don't have to listen to themselves so where their stress is coming from I just don't know.
Oh and the thing that gets me the most is why people (who aren't the bride or groom) make it all about them. It's not their wedding or their day so why in the name of christ is anything about them? Right fair enough when it comes to the wedding party certain things are going to be focused on them alright, but after that people outside of those have absolutely no reason to going all " me me me" on it.0 -
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As a foreigner living in Ireland and having attended few Irish weddings:2. The obsession with church weddings for non practicing/non religious people.
I'd wager 9/10 b&g's don't see the inside of a church from one year to the next but they must have a church wedding. Doubt they see the inside of the church again for a long time after.
I just don't get it.
Also in confidence they tell you how annoying/rip off the premarital course is and that they have asked the priest to keep it short. I thought getting married in front of God was the highlight and the whole point of your bid day? :rolleyes: Sure we'll come back when the baby needs to be christened
then again this is not exclusive to Irish people but it happens in so much higher percentage than where I come from.
+1Huge drives between a church and a venue because the couple fell in love with it or got a cheap deal. Not providing food on arrival at a venue after said long drive.6. Start time and dinner time
Early ceremony (12.30/1pm etc) and then dinner not until 5.30 with no food in between.
Why not just married at 3.30/4pm and go straight into dinner?
OR (please!) provide food in between - and not cupcakes, cocktail sausages or something!
7. Speeches before dinner.
See above, we are starving. If you want people to pay attention to your speeches do them during dessert. Or at a push during soup.
8. Long speeches
Imo only really close family find the speeches interesting/entertaining.
Imo everyone finds them tedious and boring but we are all too polite to say this so we labour under the pretence that we enjoyed sitting there for 45 minutes while we'd rather be at the bar.
+1 Where I come from there is no more than 2 hours between mass/civil ceremony and sit down for food. Also when you arrive at the venue (while bride and groom are taking pictures) there's extensive selection of canapes and drink for guest as soon as you walk through the door.
We don't have speeches at all. Bride and groom say few words and thank everyone and that's it. Somebody may grab the micro and say few words, but usually something unplanned and funny and less than 5 mins. Find speeches long, boring and too formal.I don't get top tables, especially the row ones on a mini stage. We had a round table beside everyone else.
+1 Bride and groom sit with their friends in a round table just like everyone else, and get to enjoy their day, relax and have fun. I find top table very "royal wedding" like...:D
+1I don't get why the top table includes the priest.
+1Username exists wrote: »Why is the hotel thanked during the speeches, it's not as if the meal and service was free.
Also:
- Bridesmaid and groomsmen: We don't have such an entourage. You have your witnesses, usually mother or father and that's it. Your siblings/close friends may help you preparing the wedding but doesn't mean they need to be "highlighted" or given an special place in your wedding day, and certainly no need to dress them up in matching outfits.
- Only drink offered for free being wine throughout the meal and few beer bottles in the reception while waiting for bride and groom: You can have any drink you like before the meal, throughout the meal and then there is open bar until 8-9pm at least. Bride and groom pay for it. For us it'd be rude to ask your guest to pay for their own drink on a party you've organized and specially knowing that they have probably "overpaid" for their own cost with the gift they gave you.
- The too "formal" feeling throughout the day until the band starts playing (only then starts the fun IMO). For me everything feels like it has to be perfect and following the script of a royal wedding, red carpet, speeches, top table, OTT table decorations, the priest saying prayer and blessing, fancy cars, reading out the congrats calls and text, bridesmaid/grooms men, flower girl and page boy....; to me it just reminds me of a royal wedding in a smaller scale...
Where I come from everything is more familiar and relaxed; Rice is thrown at the couple as soon as they walk out from ceremony (to wish them prosperity) and everyone approaches them to give them hugs and kisses, there is no lining up to shake their hand and move on as in Irish weddings. Throughout the meal, the younger generation (mostly friends of b&g) will sing songs making puns and requesting the bride and groom to kiss, making them stand up and kiss each other several times. There will be cheers and big applauses. There will be more songs. There is always some kinda surprise from the closest friends too and everyone is chatting and having a laugh, there is no need to keep quiet (as like in speeches or anything like that), and bride and groom are more accessible sitting among their friends and no at the top table. I think this allows for a better "celebration" of the day, where there is true joy and craic in the atmosphere and it can be felt by everyone. 0 -
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Kontrapasa wrote: »As a foreigner living in Ireland and having attended few Irish weddings:
Also in confidence they tell you how annoying/rip off the premarital course is and that they have asked the priest to keep it short. I thought getting married in front of God was the highlight and the whole point of your bid day? :rolleyes: Sure we'll come back when the baby needs to be christened then again this is not exclusive to Irish people but it happens in so much higher percentage than where I come from.
+1
+1 Where I come from there is no more than 2 hours between mass/civil ceremony and sit down for food. Also when you arrive at the venue (while bride and groom are taking pictures) there's extensive selection of canapes and drink for guest as soon as you walk through the door.
We don't have speeches at all. Bride and groom say few words and thank everyone and that's it. Somebody may grab the micro and say few words, but usually something unplanned and funny and less than 5 mins. Find speeches long, boring and too formal.
+1 Bride and groom sit with their friends in a round table just like everyone else, and get to enjoy their day, relax and have fun. I find top table very "royal wedding" like...:D
+1
+1
Also:
- Bridesmaid and groomsmen: We don't have such an entourage. You have your witnesses, usually mother or father and that's it. Your siblings/close friends may help you preparing the wedding but doesn't mean they need to be "highlighted" or given an special place in your wedding day, and certainly no need to dress them up in matching outfits.
- Only drink offered for free being wine throughout the meal and few beer bottles in the reception while waiting for bride and groom: You can have any drink you like before the meal, throughout the meal and then there is open bar until 8-9pm at least. Bride and groom pay for it. For us it'd be rude to ask your guest to pay for their own drink on a party you've organized and specially knowing that they have probably "overpaid" for their own cost with the gift they gave you.
- The too "formal" feeling throughout the day until the band starts playing (only then starts the fun IMO). For me everything feels like it has to be perfect and following the script of a royal wedding, red carpet, speeches, top table, OTT table decorations, the priest saying prayer and blessing, fancy cars, reading out the congrats calls and text, bridesmaid/grooms men, flower girl and page boy....; to me it just reminds me of a royal wedding in a smaller scale...
Where I come from everything is more familiar and relaxed; Rice is thrown at the couple as soon as they walk out from ceremony (to wish them prosperity) and everyone approaches them to give them hugs and kisses, there is no lining up to shake their hand and move on as in Irish weddings. Throughout the meal, the younger generation (mostly friends of b&g) will sing songs making puns and requesting the bride and groom to kiss, making them stand up and kiss each other several times. There will be cheers and big applauses. There will be more songs. There is always some kinda surprise from the closest friends too and everyone is chatting and having a laugh, there is no need to keep quiet (as like in speeches or anything like that), and bride and groom are more accessible sitting among their friends and no at the top table. I think this allows for a better "celebration" of the day, where there is true joy and craic in the atmosphere and it can be felt by everyone.
Where are you from!!?? I want to move there! Also... Free bar till 8-9pm!!.... Yaaaas!0 -
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Kontrapasa wrote: »As a foreigner living in Ireland and having attended few Irish weddings:
Also in confidence they tell you how annoying/rip off the premarital course is and that they have asked the priest to keep it short. I thought getting married in front of God was the highlight and the whole point of your bid day? :rolleyes: Sure we'll come back when the baby needs to be christened then again this is not exclusive to Irish people but it happens in so much higher percentage than where I come from.
+1
+1 Where I come from there is no more than 2 hours between mass/civil ceremony and sit down for food. Also when you arrive at the venue (while bride and groom are taking pictures) there's extensive selection of canapes and drink for guest as soon as you walk through the door.
We don't have speeches at all. Bride and groom say few words and thank everyone and that's it. Somebody may grab the micro and say few words, but usually something unplanned and funny and less than 5 mins. Find speeches long, boring and too formal.
+1 Bride and groom sit with their friends in a round table just like everyone else, and get to enjoy their day, relax and have fun. I find top table very "royal wedding" like...:D
+1
+1
Also:
- Bridesmaid and groomsmen: We don't have such an entourage. You have your witnesses, usually mother or father and that's it. Your siblings/close friends may help you preparing the wedding but doesn't mean they need to be "highlighted" or given an special place in your wedding day, and certainly no need to dress them up in matching outfits.
- Only drink offered for free being wine throughout the meal and few beer bottles in the reception while waiting for bride and groom: You can have any drink you like before the meal, throughout the meal and then there is open bar until 8-9pm at least. Bride and groom pay for it. For us it'd be rude to ask your guest to pay for their own drink on a party you've organized and specially knowing that they have probably "overpaid" for their own cost with the gift they gave you.
- The too "formal" feeling throughout the day until the band starts playing (only then starts the fun IMO). For me everything feels like it has to be perfect and following the script of a royal wedding, red carpet, speeches, top table, OTT table decorations, the priest saying prayer and blessing, fancy cars, reading out the congrats calls and text, bridesmaid/grooms men, flower girl and page boy....; to me it just reminds me of a royal wedding in a smaller scale...
Where I come from everything is more familiar and relaxed; Rice is thrown at the couple as soon as they walk out from ceremony (to wish them prosperity) and everyone approaches them to give them hugs and kisses, there is no lining up to shake their hand and move on as in Irish weddings. Throughout the meal, the younger generation (mostly friends of b&g) will sing songs making puns and requesting the bride and groom to kiss, making them stand up and kiss each other several times. There will be cheers and big applauses. There will be more songs. There is always some kinda surprise from the closest friends too and everyone is chatting and having a laugh, there is no need to keep quiet (as like in speeches or anything like that), and bride and groom are more accessible sitting among their friends and no at the top table. I think this allows for a better "celebration" of the day, where there is true joy and craic in the atmosphere and it can be felt by everyone.
Sounds like a Spanish wedding to me! Been to one, and while it was great, I still do like our traditions and culture more (cos i'm Irish I suppose).
I didn't like the late wedding - waiting around all day for the wedding to start. i didn't like the short wait between church and ceremony - this is a great time to catch up with people and enjoy some hopefully complimentary food and drinks.
I really felt uncomfortable with a lot of that camaradarie that goes on during the meal. Most of us Irish didn't get it, and it was messy. And I also didn't like that the meal took about 4 hours to get through!
And the lack of speeches was weird. Like that somebody got up and made some jokes, but there was none of the sentimentality you get at an irish wedding - which granted, usually is OTT, but a small bit is nice...when else are you going to get praise like that from your nearest and dearest?
But that's cos I'm Irish and I'm conditioned to like what we do.
To be honest, most things people do, they do because they work and are tried and tested. And slowly but surely, the things that don't work are being filtered out and replaced by those that do make sense.0 -
Where are you from!!?? I want to move there! Also... Free bar till 8-9pm!!.... Yaaaas!
I think a free bar at an Irish wedding would bankrupt most couples
My friend married a man from Africa with very wealthy parents. They insisted on paying for the bar even when told it wasn't the norm. After 45 minutes the bill was at 8 grand and they pulled the plug!0 -
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Sounds like a Spanish wedding to me! Been to one, and while it was great, I still do like our traditions and culture more (cos i'm Irish I suppose).
I didn't like the late wedding - waiting around all day for the wedding to start. i didn't like the short wait between church and ceremony - this is a great time to catch up with people and enjoy some hopefully complimentary food and drinks.
I really felt uncomfortable with a lot of that camaradarie that goes on during the meal. Most of us Irish didn't get it, and it was messy. And I also didn't like that the meal took about 4 hours to get through!
And the lack of speeches was weird. Like that somebody got up and made some jokes, but there was none of the sentimentality you get at an irish wedding - which granted, usually is OTT, but a small bit is nice...when else are you going to get praise like that from your nearest and dearest?
But that's cos I'm Irish and I'm conditioned to like what we do.
To be honest, most things people do, they do because they work and are tried and tested. And slowly but surely, the things that don't work are being filtered out and replaced by those that do make sense.
Spot on! I realize we're different culturally and we're way more touchy and on top of each other kinda, which sometimes clashes with other cultures were they're "colder" or like to keep their distances, but I personally prefer this rather than having to be quiet for an hour listening to the father's speech then the other father then the groomsmen and so on. And I find it silly looking when they're reading it straight from a paper (I have been to a couple of those!), I get having cue cards, like you're nervous and want to make sure you remember everything but reading straight from paper....lost my attention in 3, 2, 1... :P
Yeah, like although cost adds up people don't go crazy and they only drink as much as if they were paying for it. It doesn't become a drink as much as you can while is free game.We had a free bar and it didn't break the bank. Most people didn't take advantage and it was one of the best things we did. Didn't cost near eight grand either.
One thing I really like about Irish wedding tho I have to say is having a good band. We used to have bands but once DJs started showing up, they have almost vanished and it's really hard to come across one. DJ's do great jobs usually and interact with the people and bring in as much fun as band would, but I really like the Irish culture of live music in bar/pubs and weddings. You can't beat a great live band playing covers and being entertaining 0 -
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We had a quiet wedding 35 people. Wedding cermony started at 3pm and meal at 5.30 in a restaurant that gave us a full menu.
My mother manipulator-in-law was not happy about this and got the priest to have a word with me, when this did not work she went to the doctor to complain (we have the same doctor).
cofy, I have to ask, what did she want the doctor to do...prescribe a bigger wedding! 0 -
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