I don't like scones.

super_furry · 11-10-2019 3:59pm #1

There, I’ve said it and you know what? It feels good.

The truth, the real truth that people are trying to keep from you – scones are crap. They’re not sweet enough to be cake, they’re too dense to be bread, there’s a faint but unmissable taste of baking soda at the back and to actually eat one, you need to cover it in jam, cream and all others kinds of crap to mask the fact that you're actually eating a scone.

Stop lying to yourselves people. Scones are shíte.

The One Doctor · 11-10-2019 3:59pm

Freak. But brioche is better than scones. Scones are the implements of the pro-Brexit UK oligarchy.

There. I said it.

punisher5112 · 11-10-2019 4:00pm

Well I don't like Mondays you don't see me complaining.....

Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday....

Like Friday and Saturday and hate Sunday then....

Trigger Happy · 11-10-2019 4:01pm

American scones are truly sh1t. They give them out in KFC with your fried chicken...serve them with roast dinners etc.

BDI · 11-10-2019 4:01pm

The wife makes them with cream and jam.

Nice.

1o059k7ewrqj3n · 11-10-2019 4:01pm

super_furry wrote: »

Scones are shíte.

Racist to scones are we?

Alun · 11-10-2019 4:02pm

Irish Scones tend to be a bit too big for my taste, so it's difficult to get the right cream+jam to scone ratio and they end up too dry. Give me a proper scone from Devon or Cornwall slathered in cholesterol laden clotted cream and jam any day (always cream first BTW!)

Big Nasty · 11-10-2019 4:02pm

Scones are savage, big fruity scone, slightly warm with proper butter, jam and a bit of cream. Savage.

Place I used to stop in to did rhubarb scones. Big chunks of rhubarb in the middle. Savage.

Brown scones however have no pace in this world.

Stevieluvsye · 11-10-2019 4:03pm

OP if you have a "good quality" scone instead of the reduced to clear ****e from Dunnes you seem to be eating you'd soon change your tune

11-10-2019 4:03pm

super_furry wrote: »

There, I’ve said it and you know what? It feels good.

The truth, the real truth that people are trying to keep from you – scones are crap. They’re not sweet enough to be cake, they’re too dense to be bread, there’s a faint but unmissable taste of baking soda at the back and to actually eat one, you need to cover it in jam, cream and all others kinds of crap to mask the fact that you're actually eating a scone.

Stop lying to yourselves people. The crap Scones I buy are shíte.

Get better ones. Ones you can taste raising agent in are cheap badly made. Dense ones are cheap, badly made

Big Nasty · 11-10-2019 4:03pm

Trigger Happy wrote: »

American scones are truly sh1t. They give them out in KFC with your fried chicken...serve them with roast dinners etc.

They call those things biscuits. Smother them with white gravy! :eek:

greenspurs · 11-10-2019 4:12pm

get a life lads....

Some threads should be blown up …..

FFS

whiskeyman · 11-10-2019 4:15pm

super_furry wrote: »

Scones are shíte.

Any raisin why?

ToddyDoody · 11-10-2019 4:17pm

If you're very domesticated you can freeze them.

Wayne Jarvis · 11-10-2019 4:19pm

super_furry wrote: »

Scones are shíte.

Aisling(",) · 11-10-2019 4:20pm

I used to hate scones and basically any deserts with cooked fruit. I've since been converted. A tea room near my job does fabulous fruit scones with berries inside rather than dried fruit and they are so light and delicious.

The little dainty scones served at afternoon tea can be a thing of joy too!

pawdee · 11-10-2019 4:20pm

I'm lying alone with my head on a scone.......thinking of you 'til it hurts.

the beer revolu · 11-10-2019 4:21pm

Lads get your scone etiquette right.
Plain scone with butter and/or cream and jam.
Fruit scone should be eaten with just butter.
At least, that's what my mother always claimed.

Commercial scones are generally way too big and a bit crap. A good, fresh, homemade scone, just barely warm (never hot, and never microwaved) is a thing of beauty.

pawdee · 11-10-2019 4:21pm

Game of Scones.

pawdee · 11-10-2019 4:22pm

Scone Alone.

jiltloop · 11-10-2019 4:27pm

Big Nasty wrote: »

Scones are savage, big fruity scone, slightly warm with proper butter, jam and a bit of cream. Savage.

Place I used to stop in to did rhubarb scones. Big chunks of rhubarb in the middle. Savage.

Brown scones however have no pace in this world.

Yeah they're definitely lagging behind the white ones.

Bobblehats · 11-10-2019 4:27pm

Butter my scone!

BDI · 11-10-2019 4:28pm

Oliver Scone

markc1184 · 11-10-2019 4:29pm

I don't like anything with raisins or sultanas in it. I do like a nice warm freshly baked plain scone though.

o1s1n · 11-10-2019 4:29pm

Forever a scone.

PhilOssophy · 11-10-2019 4:30pm

pawdee wrote: »

I'm lying alone with my head on a scone.......thinking of you 'til it hurts.

Please love me or i'll be scone.....I'll be scone.......

downtheroad · 11-10-2019 4:30pm

Scone not his simplicity

pawdee · 11-10-2019 4:30pm

Romancing The Scone.

alchemist33 · 11-10-2019 4:31pm

No need for jam or butter on a scone. My wife makes delicious ones with white chocolate chips and raspberries. Fresh out of the oven, these are absolute heaven.

Potatoeman · 11-10-2019 4:32pm

That’s how the cookie crumbles. Sorry, have I scone too far.

11-10-2019 4:32pm

My granny makes sweet scones with fruit and they are gorgeous. Unsalted butter, homemade strawberry jam, heavy whipped cream and afterwards you're left with your eyes rolling back in your head, drooling in ecstasy. She also makes a gorgeous fruit cake that has to count for 19 of your 5 a day and a cottage pie that can't be bettered.

I have the best granny.

ToddyDoody · 11-10-2019 4:35pm

Candie wrote: »

My granny makes sweet scones with fruit and they are gorgeous. Unsalted butter, homemade strawberry jam, heavy whipped cream and afterwards you're left with your eyes rolling back in your head, drooling in ecstasy. She also makes a gorgeous fruit cake that has to count for 19 of your 5 a day and a cottage pie that can't be bettered.

I have the best granny.

No no, post a pun.

super_furry · 11-10-2019 4:36pm

ToddyDoody wrote: »

No no, post a pun bun.

Fixed that.

Ishmael · 11-10-2019 4:37pm

alchemist33 wrote: »

No need for jam or butter on a scone. My wife makes delicious ones with white chocolate chips and raspberries. Fresh out of the oven, these are absolute heaven.

11-10-2019 4:40pm

ToddyDoody wrote: »

No no, post a pun.

Will a silly joke do?

How did the bad baker poison his budgies? He killed two birds with one scone.

BDI · 11-10-2019 4:44pm

The scone that the builder refuse,
Will always be the headcorner scone.

starlit · 11-10-2019 4:45pm

I love them especially when freshly baked! Ordinary and even gluten free ones are just as nice when freshly made! So tasty when adding a bit of cream and jam!

jiltloop · 11-10-2019 4:50pm

Why did the baker have smelly hands?

Because he kneaded a poo.

*works better spoken out loud.

11-10-2019 4:56pm

My local bakery burned down last night. Now the business is toast.

pawdee · 11-10-2019 4:59pm

Let him who is without sin cast the first scone.

pawdee · 11-10-2019 5:00pm

My jokes are horrendous. Sorry. I wouldn't mind but I'm scone cold sober.

Bobblehats · 11-10-2019 5:03pm

scone to the dogs.....crumble crumble........

AllForIt · 11-10-2019 5:04pm

I love them if they have sultanas, so so without.

Metroid diorteM · 11-10-2019 5:04pm

Yeah scones are crap.

pawdee · 11-10-2019 5:07pm

AllForIt wrote: »

I love them if they have sultanas, so so without.

The currant trend is for fruit ones. Am I a scone in thinking that?

BDI · 11-10-2019 5:08pm

I tried to buy a scone in Britain but couldn’t change my currant C.

pawdee · 11-10-2019 5:11pm

Ok. I'm knocking this on the head. Heading out for a muffin. Bye for now. Scone call us we'll call you.

Vegeta · 11-10-2019 5:14pm

sugarman wrote: »

Or Brack, love a good Halloween Brack.

Now we're talkin, slice of brack done for a few seconds in the toaster and then smothered in real butter. Oh jaysus, I can hear my heart slowing just thinking about a slice

pawdee · 11-10-2019 5:17pm

You can get some at the Brack Obama Plaza.........

Ok, I'm gone this time.

Mam of 4 · 11-10-2019 5:32pm

Here today , scone tomorrow ...

Well , they definitely don't last long here , freshly baked , still warm , indulgence with butter and jam and a mug of coffee...

Overheal · 11-10-2019 5:35pm

Trigger Happy wrote: »

American scones are truly sh1t. They give them out in KFC with your fried chicken...serve them with roast dinners etc.

You mean a fcuking Biscuit? :mad:

That's not a poxy scone. It's a BISCUIT. You can tell the difference from the lack of fruit or sugar and the fact that is essentially just flour water and heaps of butter and some salt. You know, a B I S C U I T. And not one of those fake british 'biscuits' either: you shove focking sausage, bacon, ham, smoked pork, jam if you want, more butter, etc. in between your biscuit halves to make a BISCUIT - but its like a "Sausage and Egg Biscuit" at that point, or a Chik Fil A Biscuit. Would you pour sausage gravy on top of a british biscuit? LIKE FCUK YOU WOULD. You don't slather gravy on a scone either my friend

A scone is denser than a biscuit, uses far less butter, and almost certainly has berries in it and is coated most often in granulated sugar. How do you mess that up with a biscuit? Utter madness. The shame of you.

I don't like scones.

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