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Housemate problem

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  • 31-03-2020 4:31pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Sticky situation.
    My housemate is a Frontline nurse In a virus ward here and that’s it’s own worry And I’m freaked out enough about that, but he’s basically the worst most inconsiderate slob you can imagine at home in terms of doesn’t clean up after himself no problem using your kitchen stuff or eating your food etc etc He’s Basically a pig. But you get the gist.
    I had hoped to bring up each of us using our own dedicated delph and cutlery etc while he’s on that ward and for the duration of this crisis but hes not the most considerate as I said. This will be laughed at. Even if he took any notice and adhered to it.

    The complication now is my partner came home from Asia last week before the lockdown and is staying with us for the two weeks he has to isolate despite being tested and cleared coming through China.

    And we’re away to the races as Now this coming weekend the housemates girlfriend, also front line nurse, is coming to stay with us this weekend and he’s all happily on the phone to her organizing this. I think audibly for my benefit given my partners here.

    I’m freaked out enough about his complete carelessness and attitude towards his workspace and our living situation.
    But two of them. And breaking what I assume is a pretty central rule in this lockdown.

    I don’t want to hurt any feelings but I don’t want to get infected either. know this looks like ‘cake and eat it’ and it is to a degree but it’s also our safety and that of those they’re working with every day.

    How to proceed or just shut up and get on with it?

    Any advice would be helpful.
    Thanks


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    #2
    Sardonicat
    Registered Users Posts: 12,378 ✭✭✭✭Sardonicat


    Confused frontline wrote: »
    Sticky situation.
    My housemate is a Frontline nurse In a virus ward here and that’s it’s own worry And I’m freaked out enough about that, but he’s basically the worst most inconsiderate slob you can imagine at home in terms of doesn’t clean up after himself no problem using your kitchen stuff or eating your food etc etc He’s Basically a pig. But you get the gist.
    I had hoped to bring up each of us using our own dedicated delph and cutlery etc while he’s on that ward and for the duration of this crisis but hes not the most considerate as I said. This will be laughed at. Even if he took any notice and adhered to it.

    The complication now is my partner came home from Asia last week before the lockdown and is staying with us for the two weeks he has to isolate despite being tested and cleared coming through China.

    And we’re away to the races as Now this coming weekend the housemates girlfriend, also front line nurse, is coming to stay with us this weekend and he’s all happily on the phone to her organizing this. I think audibly for my benefit given my partners here.

    I’m freaked out enough about his complete carelessness and attitude towards his workspace and our living situation.
    But two of them. And breaking what I assume is a pretty central rule in this lockdown.

    I don’t want to hurt any feelings but I don’t want to get infected either. know this looks like ‘cake and eat it’ and it is to a degree but it’s also our safety and that of those they’re working with every day.

    How to proceed or just shut up and get on with it?

    Any advice would be helpful.
    Thanks

    Remove your cooking utensils and crockery into your room for a start. I know that must be pretty cramped but it's something you can do.


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    #3
    Gekko
    Registered Users Posts: 1,189 ✭✭✭Gekko


    If you have two bathrooms - and I appreciate you probably don’t - you need to allocate one per couple

    Kept windows open when possible and try to avoid passing each other or being in kitchen at same time


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    #4
    TimeToShine
    Registered Users Posts: 4,881 ✭✭✭TimeToShine


    So your partner came back from Asia through China and is "self isolating" in your house-share for two weeks? And you're worried about the nurse who has no choice but to work day in day out?


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    #5
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    As Sardonicat said, if you want to use your own dishes, just keep your dishes in your room. There's no need for any arrangements or conflict there.

    I'm making the assumption that your partner isn't paying rent - if I'm wrong, apologies. But you're right when you talk about having your cake and eating it. You've brought your partner, who has just traveled from a high-risk country and through an airport full of people from all over the world, to your place for self-isolation? To live in a space with someone working in healthcare? Who you've said yourself is careless at home?

    From a health and public welfare perspective, you've put your housemate at risk, and everyone he works with at risk.

    From a mental health perspective, the lockdown is a very stressful time for most people. Putting an extra body in that scenario, regardless of how recently they've been in an airport, is careless. A 14-day constant house guest is going to cause a lot more stress for him than a weekend with his girlfriend will cause for you.

    He shouldn't be having his girlfriend over really, but you haven't a leg to stand on if you think you can tell him otherwise. At least she might be able to give him some emotional support, which might improve what sounds like a tense situation between you all.


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    #6
    extra gravy
    Registered Users Posts: 22,525 ✭✭✭✭extra gravy


    How is your partner isolating if he's sharing a room with you? Or is he on the couch or where? Imo neither your partner or your housemate's gf have any business being in the house while this is going on. Have they not got homes of their own?


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    #7
    SteelyDanJalapeno
    Registered Users Posts: 14,240 ✭✭✭✭SteelyDanJalapeno


    The latest gov advisory is that no medical professionals should be sharing the same house, let alone with another person coming back from Asia, so much wrong going on here, how is your partner self isolating in a house where 2 frontline workers will be

    Lord above


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    #8
    ted1
    Registered Users Posts: 23,297 ✭✭✭✭ted1


    Have you any underline issues are you over 70? If not turn to be honest I wouldn’t be to worried about catching it.


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    #9
    Caranica
    Registered Users Posts: 10,021 ✭✭✭✭Caranica


    ted1 wrote: »
    Have you any underline issues are you over 70? If not turn to be honest I wouldn’t be to worried about catching it.

    Shocking advice. This virus is hitting people of all ages including very fit and healthy people. The median age is 43 or thereabouts which suggests a lot of younger people are getting it, bringing down the median.


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    #10
    lunamoon
    Registered Users Posts: 263 ✭✭lunamoon


    I think the bigger issue here is your partner, not the housemate. They should be isolating on their own. Not in the same apartment as other people, let alone frontline workers. It's pretty ignorant of you to allow this.


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    #11
    SteelyDanJalapeno
    Registered Users Posts: 14,240 ✭✭✭✭SteelyDanJalapeno


    ted1 wrote: »
    Have you any underline issues are you over 70? If not turn to be honest I wouldn’t be to worried about catching it.

    That's not the point, I'm self isolating to stop the spread to other more vulnerable people, not because I'm worried I might catch it, suprised people still can't get their head around stopping the spread


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    #12
    Teyla Emmagan
    Registered Users Posts: 5,641 ✭✭✭Teyla Emmagan


    How come your partner is allowed stay but the flatmate's girlfriend isn't?


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    #13
    ted1
    Registered Users Posts: 23,297 ✭✭✭✭ted1


    Caranica wrote: »
    Shocking advice. This virus is hitting people of all ages including very fit and healthy people. The median age is 43 or thereabouts which suggests a lot of younger people are getting it, bringing down the median.

    Yes they are getting it. But all they are getting is a bad flu for a few days it in.

    The median death was 83 yesterday.


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    #14
    ted1
    Registered Users Posts: 23,297 ✭✭✭✭ted1


    SteelyDanJalapeno wrote: »
    That's not the point, I'm self isolating to stop the spread to other more vulnerable people, not because I'm worried I might catch it, suprised people still can't get their head around stopping the spread

    If you are self isolating age get it then just continue to self isolate. And you won’t spread it


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    #15
    Sardonicat
    Registered Users Posts: 12,378 ✭✭✭✭Sardonicat


    ted1 wrote: »
    Yes they are getting it. But all they are getting is a bad flu for a few days it in.

    The median death was 83 yesterday.

    If it reaches your lungs and you survive it causes life long and life limiting damage, regardless of your age.


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    #16
    Sardonicat
    Registered Users Posts: 12,378 ✭✭✭✭Sardonicat


    ted1 wrote: »
    If you are self isolating age get it then just continue to self isolate. And you won’t spread it

    Except for the period when you had it and were asymptotic, so you were spreading it for days.


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    #17
    ted1
    Registered Users Posts: 23,297 ✭✭✭✭ted1


    Sardonicat wrote: »
    If it reaches your lungs and you survive it causes life long and life limiting damage, regardless of your age.

    Any link to provide information on that and the number of people who would experience this ?


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    #18
    Persiancowboy
    Registered Users Posts: 354 ✭✭Persiancowboy


    ted1 wrote: »
    Have you any underline issues are you over 70? If not turn to be honest I wouldn’t be to worried about catching it.

    Jesus Christ. I have been battling this virus since last weekend and have been to hell and back. I am fit and healthy and this thing has absolutely wiped me out. Try spending a week totally on your own with a temperature of over 101 degrees and see how you like it. I’m a week in and still no better.

    This is simply the most inane juvenile comment I’ve seen on Boards in many years.


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    #19
    maxsmum
    Registered Users Posts: 521 ✭✭✭maxsmum


    Sardonicat wrote: »
    If it reaches your lungs and you survive it causes life long and life limiting damage, regardless of your age.

    Bizarre advice, we only have 3 month data at best on any respiratory effects


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    #20
    Upforthematch
    Registered Users Posts: 1,328 ✭✭✭Upforthematch


    Hi op,

    Leaving aside the whole 'cake and eating it' part of this, I think you are right to be concerned about your health here.

    Very high odds that your housemate will get the virus if he is working on a virus ward and if he's even a fraction as sloppy on the job as you make out that he is in the house then the odds are even higher.

    Someone mentioned about having separate bathrooms - great idea if possible.

    For the sake of your health, I suggest you act as if you have the virus. Try to do as many as the following as you are comfortable with: minimise close contact with your housemate, don't share towels, use disposable plates/cups/forks yourself, wear gloves in the house, use the laundry detergent and high degree washes. Ask your partner to do the same.

    For the sake of your relationship with your housemate, don't comment on his gf staying and be sure to praise and recognise the great contribution he is making by caring for the sick at this sad time.


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    #21
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    I've had this conversation with my housemates. Buy a ton of wet wipes, tissues, hand wash, floor clear, kitchen spray etc. Tell them you all need to clean the kitchen before and after use. Now is a great opportunity to change bad habits. People will literally die if you don't. Your housemates should understand the frankness and urgency of the situation, if they don't, get mad at them. Seriously. Do not shut up and get on with it.


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    #22
    ted1
    Registered Users Posts: 23,297 ✭✭✭✭ted1


    Persiancowboy wrote: »
    Jesus Christ. I have been battling this virus since last weekend and have been to hell and back. I am fit and healthy and this thing has absolutely wiped me out. Try spending a week totally on your own with a temperature of over 101 degrees and see how you like it. I’m a week in and still no better.

    This is simply the most inane juvenile comment I’ve seen on Boards in many years.

    So same as the flu I had last year. In a weeks time you’ll be back to normal.


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    #23
    GreeBo
    Registered Users Posts: 27,057 ✭✭✭✭GreeBo


    Ignoring the complicated nature of your partner, why on earth is the flatmates partner travelling to stay with you guys?
    That doesnt sound like social distancing to me.


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    #24
    leggo
    Registered Users Posts: 9,061 ✭✭✭leggo


    This is all just terrible COVID-19 isolation etiquette tbh and I’m shocked a frontline worker would abide by it. I read the OP and, I’m sorry I don’t mean to alarm you, but all I thought was “Yeah you’re all getting the Coronavirus...”

    Look I’m not a medical professional so if you need any tips on that end, go to the excellent AMA on this very website. But my thought is that you need to just abandon ship if possible at this stage (if that’s even possible and your family home won’t have vulnerable people) or just live in your room, take what you need to cook etc in with you and only use that. I’d highly recommend against the boyfriend staying off the plane from Asia or his gf staying but it looks like that ship has sailed. So effectively what you guys have decided is “**** it”. And if that’s the decision you’ve made then all you can really do is make peace with what’s likely the next stage and deal with that. But please, if you’re all going to make reckless decisions like this, just stay home permanently and don’t risk anyone else.


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    #25
    cloudatlas
    Registered Users Posts: 3,709 ✭✭✭cloudatlas


    Can you move out? Seriously. I know there isn't much availability but there might be some. It sounds like my housemates have had it, I moved out temporarily before they got it. They are slobs, don't clean anything, weren't washing their hands. Get out of there.


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    #26
    Mr. Incognito
    Registered Users Posts: 9,798 ✭✭✭Mr. Incognito


    Does your bf not understand the term "self" isolate.

    He should have the cop on not to be infecting two nurses.

    I have no doubt you will blame the nurses instead of your feckless bf if you contract it.


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