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A really random occurrence!

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  • 13-10-2019 12:29am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Another thread has prompted me to post on boards. Going anon as too many personal details.

    A few days ago I received a letter in the post from a complete stranger. Inside was another sealed letter addressed to me and a brief note explaining how the sender had come into possession of the letter etc Circumstances were a complete fluke but very plausible. I should point out this person didn't know the letter writer at all. I thought what a nice, thoughtful thing to do at the time.

    The letter was from an old girlfriend, written over 20 years ago!! We were both early twenties then and had dated about 6 months. A bit of a shock to the system! It was written shortly after we had split up but I guess she had either forgotten or decided not to send it. In she had explained things she (hadn't in one case known at the time) or hadn't told me during our relationship. Although I liked her A LOT, I'd finished it because I felt it wasn't going anywhere, mainly because of issues she was causing in our relationship which indicated she may not be fully into me and I didn't want to end up getting hurt. I'll admit I didn't do it face-to-face, so she had no opportunity at the time and when she did make the effort to contact me when I was distancing myself, I was quite brusque with her so she said very little. I understand now though that if she thought I wanted to finish it she wouldn't have communicated these things due to pride etc Older and wiser now of course.

    In short, amongst other things, in the letter she explained exactly why she was behaving the way she was ie which gave me the impression she wasn't into me so I was completely wrong. Although communication wasn't our strong point, I know she was an honest person. Thing is had I known these reasons, I wouldn't have finished it at all. As things panned out, I'd heard she'd moved away and I lost track of her after that. I went on to get married much later on but that didn't go too well and we're separated now for a number of years.

    Although this happened a significant amount of time ago, it has still managed to churn me up a bit and I find myself thinking about her a lot. Apart from being a lovely person, she was very beautiful as well. So I'd imagine she got snapped up soon after!

    Has anyone else had a similar experience? Any thoughts at all welcome.


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    #2
    Honeydew3456
    Registered Users Posts: 108 ✭✭Honeydew3456


    That's really sweet and quite the shock I can imagine.

    Would you not look her up on social media?


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    #3
    milli milli
    Registered Users Posts: 1,247 ✭✭✭milli milli


    Yes look her up on social media as the above poster said.
    I read a quote a while ago - ‘follow all the threads in your life that excite you!’

    You might find nothing, she might be happily married, she might be single, no-one knows how people’s lives turn out. It’s definitely worth having a look anyway.

    Best of luck!


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    #4
    joeguevara
    Registered Users Posts: 8,041 ✭✭✭joeguevara


    While this sounds like the start of a Hollywood romantic movie the fact is it affected you and gave you food for thought.

    Firstly I am sorry your marriage didn't work out. That would affect someone in a way that I couldn't comprehend. It is irrelevant that if you had known the reasons behind the behaviour of the girl in the letter you wouldn't have broken up. That doesn't mean you would have lived happily ever after as something else might have happened that would have ended it. So don't dwell or regret that.

    The letter has caused you to think about your current situation. When our current situation isn't what we had hoped it to be we often look back on more innocent times through rose tinted glasses. The girl in the letter is actually irrelevant apart from the fact that it should make you start doing things to make yourself happier so you don't have to reminisce about 20 years ago.

    If that means you would like to meet her then it is relatively easy to do that. But before you do think about how it will affect you if she is married or in a relationship etc. Could that affect you more and churn you up more than you are at the moment. If after you have done that then go for it.

    One last thing is that people sometimes have a completely different recollection of old relationships than you do. I met up with my first real love and if it was as if it was two completely relationships. Memories that I held dear such as special occasions or adventures that we got up to barely registered or had been completely forgotten as if they didn't happen. She didn't do it maliciously but 20 years meant that those things weren't important to her.

    But life is for living and risks sometime lead to happy ever after. Whatever happens be happy that someone cared so much that they took the time (20 years ago) to try and explain things. I wish you the best of luck and hope whatever is right happens. If it doesn't work out remember that life's next adventure is just around the corner and don't miss it because of something that happened 20 years ago.


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