Second thoughts about buying house

LegacyUser · 11-10-2019 8:04pm #1

I've just gone sale agreed on a house which fits the bill for everything I'm looking for. Reasonably good value, good location for commuting, area is in demand for resale (not planned for a good few years), plenty of nearby services etc. It all sounds great, right?

But it's now just hit me how real it's getting. I've been renting in a house for the past 10 years. It's in a completely different location, but has all the same perks as the house I'm buying, plus the rent is quite reasonable. The only real differences are that I'm sharing with 3 others and of course, I don't own it!

I'm wondering if it's just a bit of jitters that everyone gets before buying a home, or something I should be worried about if I'm thinking like this.

I think the big thing for me is a fear of change. I've had the same routine, commuting route, shops I go to, gym etc. for the last 10 years, now suddenly that's all turned upside down! I also get on quite well with some of my housemates and it will be sad to leave them.

There is no real need for me to buy a house, but I always wanted to do it, at least seriously for the past 5 years. I'm in no way unhappy where I'm living (although some things do annoy me about it, and have had the urge in the past to leave because of awkward housemates), but buying a house makes financial sense, would give me more independence and maybe a change would be good for me as I tend to avoid it when I can.

I know I'm the only one who can make the decision, but I would really like some outside perspective. Are these normal worries, or when do you start listening to your subconscious?

rainbowtrout · 12-10-2019 8:29pm

Well some of it may be jitters, but consider what you would like for yourself in 5-10 years time or longer. Your housemates will move on eventually, they'll get into relationships and move in with someone else, some of them might buy houses of their own. It's unlikely the four of you will still be living together in a few years time.

Aside from that what are your long term plans? Most people in this country buy houses for security. Long term rental isn't as stable in this country as it is in other countries as it is not the default.

You don't say how old you are, but if you have been renting for 10 years you are most likely in your 30s. Where do you see yourself in terms of renting/home ownership in 10 years time?

Ursus Horribilis · 12-10-2019 8:40pm

One thing that struck me about this house you're buying is that you don't appear to like it. Sure, it ticks certain boxes. The location is good, it should go up in value and it's near services. But does it have a homely feel to it? What is it about this house that made you bid for it over any other ones you looked at it? I bought on my own several years ago and actually went "Sale agreed" on a house which I'm now glad I didn't buy. I started getting nagging doubts that I tried to ignore but eventually paid attention to. In contrast, when I first visited the house I went on to buy, it just felt right. A friend came with me to the viewing and I remember sitting down at her kitchen table afterwards and talked about the plans I had for it. So my first question to you is - why are you buying this particular house?

It's good that you acknowledge you're not good with change. You are looking at turning your life upside-down to a certain extent. You'll be changing your routines and moving from a nice house-share into an empty house. That's daunting. Much as I liked the house I bought, leaving the house-share I'd been in was a wrench. I also found opening the front door of the house after I got the keys to be a horrible anti-climax. I've since had friends tell me they felt the very same when they bought their homes. Maybe you're just getting those feelings earlier? You don't sound like you're that committed to buying a house (this house?) despite you saying you've wanted to do so for five years. You're almost contradicting yourself by saying you don't really need to buy a house. What is driving these thoughts? Fear of loneliness? Fear of change? Fear of the responsibility?

zapper55 · 13-10-2019 1:23pm

You dont sound like you love it even really like the house. You.mention reselling in a few years. So you are already thinking of leaving it before you move in.

This.seems.like more than just buying jitters.

Never mind the tick the box exercise, would living there bring you any joy at all? I bought a house and it wasnt perfect by any means bit I was thrilled with it. Have you seen any houses that you liked more? Mayne you need to pull out of the sale and keep looking.

smacl · 13-10-2019 4:02pm

Firstly, these are normal worries as it is a big change and big commitment. Personally, I'd wonder whether it is the ideal time to buy a house as the whole brexit thing could cause a downturn in the market and mini recession. Looking at house prices on myhome.ie at a glance they're declining. If this is the case for houses in the area you're looking at, I wouldn't buy if you weren't 100% happy because there is a distinct possibility of something better and cheaper down the line and that current prices are over-inflated.

Best of luck with it either way, on my third house here and they were all stressful decisions.

LegacyUser · 13-10-2019 5:58pm

Am I in love with it? No. But I don't think that's the problem. It's a nice place and has everything I need and is very similar to where I'm renting at the moment, but I wouldn't say it's any better (I can't afford better!). I'm living in Dublin and I know I can never afford my dream home. I'm not willing to make a compromise on living outside of the M50, so I have to make compromises elsewhere. My rent is currently cheaper than what I'd be paying in mortgage interest and bills and is in a nicer area, but I have no security. The landlord could decide to kick me out whenever he wishes. Rent will also go up every year.

If you had asked me two years ago I would have jumped at the opportunity to live in this house I've gone sale agreed on. I think this was because I was living with different people, and now I get on very well with my housemates, who are now friends. But I know this won't last forever and everyone will move on.

Regarding talks of selling, ultimately I would like to own a house in the area where I'm renting at the moment. It will take at least another 10 years to get to that level of savings. Part of the reason I want to buy is to build equity (as well as a bit more independence from home ownership). I've no idea what the future will bring with Brexit, house values, recessions etc. and I don't think anyone can say now is the right or wrong time to buy.

Saying all this, at the time I went sale agreed I was very happy and excited, but the more and more I think about it I'm starting to worry about the smallest things, like an extra 5 minutes to my commute (which is minuscule) or the nearby gym not being as nice as the one I'm in and slightly further away. And I'm not even sure they're problems, just different to what I'm used to. I really don't like change!

The only other option I see is waiting longer and hope that prices drop in my current area. But then prices could rise and I'm priced out of everywhere! This whole process is really getting to me. I just overthink too much.

Ursus Horribilis · 14-10-2019 1:50pm

Yep, it looks like you're overthinking it. Especially if you're bothered by a gym of all things. If staying with your current one isn't an option, you could start looking around now for a new one in the area you'll be moving into. We all know some gyms are better than others but I'm sure you'll find another that suits you.

If your housemates are now friends, there's no reason why you can't continue to stay in touch with them. As it happens, I'm going out for a meal with a former housemate later this week. We haven't lived under the same roof for 6 years.

Sheog · 14-10-2019 1:56pm

I went through a very similar situation myself in the past year. I had been renting in the same 2 bed house for about 7 years sharing with different friends along the way. I absolutely loved the area and was lucky to have a very sound landlord who charged us very reasonable rent. However, as prices started to rapidly rise in the area I became really worried that the landlord would sell up. I had also been saving hard for years with the ultimate goal of buying my own place, so I decided to go for it.

After about a year of looking and bidding (and being outbid many times), I eventually went sale agreed on a duplex around the corner from the place I was renting. I didn't completely love the place I bought. It was rented to students for years and definitely in need of a bit of work (although mainly cosmetic), but the location was the most important thing for me and it felt right. (note that I had bid and pulled out on other properties for various reasons.)

As soon as I went sale agreed though, the doubts started to creep in. A lot of my friends had bought in the last few years and they warned me about 'buyers remorse' and agonizing over whether or not I was doing the right thing. I had was very happy where I was living and I was sharing with a good friend who I got on very well with. Why take on the debt and risk being lonely and isolated?

The advice they gave me was that everyone gets hit with doubts as they go from sale agreed to handing over the keys. It is a huge commitment. As the realisation of that sets in of course you start to wonder if you are better off staying put. It is totally normal.

I've been living in my new home since February and yes, it has been a major change and has taken some getting used to. I have never lived on my own before and I was very anxious about it. I can honestly say that I have no regrets at all, I don't feel lonely or isolated and although I have spare rooms that I could be renting out... I am reluctant to do so. Instead I have now got room for people to visit. My parents who never came to Dublin much have been to stay a few times. As have friends and cousins from home. I love having visitors.

I can also tell you that there is nothing at all quite like the feeling of coming home after a few days away, and opening your own front door to find your home exactly as you left it. Best of luck with it Op!

zapper55 · 14-10-2019 2:13pm

Op the only thing I would say is dont buy a house with the assumption you'll be able to build equity in it. Learn from the lessons of the past, there's no such guarantee. Also you'll loose your ftb status and depending on central bank rules may have the pay twice the amount of deposit in future .

Jen Pigs Fly · 14-10-2019 5:49pm

Just signed recently for a house too!
It’s more nervous excitement I’m feeling, it’s completely normal. As far as I’m concerned it’s going to be a huge change and change is worrying, but I’m planning on meeting this head on with excitement and nervousness.

SozBbz · 15-10-2019 10:20am

This sounds pretty normal to me, especially if you're someone who generally doesnt like change. I'm on the cusp of buying for the second time, having bought on my own 4 years ago, but circumstances change. I had buyers remorse last time around, and again this time around - but that was only one emotion in the midst of many others such as excitement, smugness, relief, satisfaction.... its a roller-coaster! I think its because I know I felt it last time, that I know to ignore it this time.

This is a huge change, one of the biggest and more stressful decisions you will make, so its hardly surprising that its got you a bit rattled. Theres a lot of boring and stressful stuff to go through with banks, solicitors etc whereby it will feel like an endurance test, but it is worth it.

I think you have to have a firm talk with yourself. Evaluate logically (rather than emotionally, driven by fear of change) whether this is the right property for you, based on whats available on the market in your price bracket and your lifestyle.

As others have said, you may indeed love your current houseshare but by nature they're transient so even if you were to opt to stay put, its likely that those around you would make changes to their own circumstances and potentially leave you behind. IMO its unwise to make life decisions around circumstances that are beyond your control.

As for it being the right time to buy.... well hindsight is always 20/20 but head over the the Accommodation and Property forum, you'll notice that consistently there are always those who are bullish about the market, and always those who are talking it down. What matters, IMO is whether you can comfortably afford this house, if circumstances change and you end up staying there longer than anticipated - would you be ok? IMO once you're not buying a very small apartment, then I think you'll be ok.

Second thoughts about buying house

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