Aoife Dooley abused online after her article appeared in Junior Cert paper!

Gimme A Pound · 07-06-2019 10:18am

FTA69 wrote: »

I wouldn't underestimate the amount of abuse a lot of women remotely in the public eye seem to get. A friend of mine writes for the Guardian and was showing me some of the messages she gets sent; mother of God. Dozens upon dozens of emails ranging from nasty denunciations to filth and death threats. If you look at the comments underneath her article, a lot of them have to be removed due to their violent content.

When you're an ordinary person who writes a bit for the media and next thing you're reading descriptions of people raping and assaulting you; that's a serious enough thing not to be dismissed. The fact remains some people have worrying attitudes toward women and the internet allows these to be vented in often damaging ways.

No no, it's made up, she shouldn't be in the public eye if she can't handle it, what about men? Oh wait, she's a conservative woman and the comments were by muslims? Damn their misogyny!

That should be the bingo card covered.

rusty cole wrote: »

I'm not hostile about women at all, why is it when a guy now points out an obvious imbalance that suddenly they're misogynists. This is the problem, post #metoo SOME women think the climate is right to self promote stupidity and mediocrity as intellect and brilliance, why?? because if we question it, it's Why so hostile about women.. give over with that Shyte, that's called misandry!!

and turn the page back a few weeks, she made front page headlines and was doing speeches etc, why?? cos she was leapfrogged!! NOW, I was mugged by two lads in town and a syringe was stuck to my cheek!! years ago.. people are mean, the world isn't perfect.. I didn't go to the national broadcasters crying hate!! you cant be asking to be treated normal and the crying foul because you're different and should now be listened to.

Between your anger here, towards that woman Sinead, and your sole contribution on a thread about post natal depression being "What about men?" (Good Christ) that's what I'm basing my question on. Calling that misandry is a heck of a reach.

You haven't actually pointed out a specific double standard - just hypothesised. Yeah I dislike sexism against men or women, and I've no time for today's feminism or much of the #metoo thing, but misdirected anger is uncalled for. It's the downplaying and dismissal of what these women experienced that I take issue with. I think that woman Aoife is an attention seeker too but the insistence on trivialising extreme online abuse - particularly if it's women on the receiving end - is the wider question here. And it is fashionable as fuk. And there are clearly woman haters here also.

suicide_circus wrote: »

if you dont have something nice to say about a woman, dont say anything at all

Nobody said that whatsoever. Of course women who behave badly should be criticised. For their behaviour. Not simply because they are women.

KikiLaRue wrote: »

Is it considered “radical” these days to suggest women shouldn’t have to put up with sexualised online abuse?

The idea that she’s somehow in the wrong for speaking out about it is bizarre.

By 15 a lot of these lads have been watching porn for a couple of years, I don’t believe for a second that this has no impact on their view of women.

What he was saying is that the radical left caused them to react the way they did.

(I know

).

SirGerryAdams wrote: »

But it's fine for men?

- he is being sarcastic/ironic - pretending it's being said that no women should be criticised ever
- where did he say - or even slightly imply - that it's fine for men?

meeeeh · 07-06-2019 10:19am

mariaalice wrote: »

A sligh aside but in France recently i was amazed at the well-behaved children a restaurants at night time, it is genetic? are they socalised in to it? then one evening I saw why they behave lests just say attituteds to parenting are different there, plus children are not the center of attention.

I think there are different attitudes to parenting in different countries. But that was not my point. I think people have rose tinted glasses how everything was better when we were younger. It wasn't, there were plenty of badly behaved kids when their mammy stayed at home and disciplined them with the wooden spoon. Every generation has some different challenges and majority of parents are still able to do their job well and majority of kids don't become obnoxious morons.

07-06-2019 10:20am

There is a lot of understandable hate for people who issue rape threats and pornography towards women on line. Like during "gamer gate" there was so much of it. But for me the overriding feeling is of compassionate and intense pity. Imagine seeing a women you disagree with.

Then when you summon together all your life experience, all your education, all your intelligence, all your humanity, all your linguistic abilities, all your grasp of logic and all your other competencies in life together to externalise that disagreement - the sum total of it all is you pull out the contents of your underpants like a weapon. That's all you got. Like monkeys throwing their own excrement at each other.

Imagine being that - well - pathetic and sub-human and ineffectual and incompetent. No wonder they are little balls of life-rage. I pity them deeply. I struggle to muster any anger or hatred for them - it just collapses in on itself into pity every time.

SirGerryAdams · 07-06-2019 10:23am

KikiLaRue wrote: »

Rape threats are not “being mean”.

0 proof.

Show these "hundreds" of threats. It's quite easy to show proof.

Deebles McBeebles · 07-06-2019 10:24am

meeeeh wrote: »

I think there are different attitudes to parenting in different countries. But that was not my point. I think people have rose tinted glasses how everything was better when we were younger. It wasn't, there were plenty of badly behaved kids when their mammy stayed at home and disciplined them with the wooden spoon.

That's it though isn't it. Even if mammy is at home with the kids they seem to have impunity to roam around like gangs of feral cats. Its a while ago now but I can't recall ever seeing that when I was young.

KikiLaRue · 07-06-2019 10:25am

[Deleted User] wrote: »

There is a lot of understandable hate for people who issue rape threats and pornography towards women on line. Like during "gamer gate" there was so much of it. But for me the overriding feeling is of compassionate and intense pity. Imagine seeing a women you disagree with.

Then when you summon together all your life experience, all your education, all your intelligence, all your humanity, all your linguistic abilities, all your grasp of logic and all your other competencies in life together to externalise that disagreement - the sum total of it all is you pull out the contents of your underpants like a weapon. That's all you got. Like monkeys throwing their own excrement at each other.

Imagine being that - well - pathetic and sub-human and ineffectual and incompetent. No wonder they are little balls of life-rage. I pity them deeply. I struggle to muster any anger or hatred for them - it just collapses in on itself into pity every time.

While I take your point to a certain degree, in another way it’s infuriating that your well-articulated compassion and pity is flowing towards the perpetrators of such appalling behaviour rather than the victims.

The amount of disgusting messages I get in a week is unreal. And I’m not high profile. I’m just a woman on a dating app.

I can’t explain how soul-sucking it is to be constantly treated that way. So, sure yeah, it must be tough for these cretins that this is the best they can muster - but I have little sympathy for them.

mariaalice · 07-06-2019 10:25am

SirGerryAdams wrote: »

0 proof.

Show these "hundreds" of threats. It's quite easy to show proof.

You are all over the palce now are you saying she is making this up?

Even if she only got one rape threat its abuse do you understand that?

Or is your agrument eveyone get abuse online so shut up complaining?

ohnonotgmail · 07-06-2019 10:26am

SirGerryAdams wrote: »

0 proof.

Show these "hundreds" of threats. It's quite easy to show proof.

Nobody has mentioned hundreds apart from and others like you. Dozens was the amount mentioned in the IT article.

KikiLaRue · 07-06-2019 10:28am

SirGerryAdams wrote: »

0 proof.

Show these "hundreds" of threats. It's quite easy to show proof.

It’s being reported in the media as “dozens” not “hundreds”. Are you exaggerating to make it seem less believable? Do you have any reason to believe she’s making it up?

07-06-2019 10:33am

KikiLaRue wrote: »

While I take your point to a certain degree

It is not a point really though. More just a comment about me and my emotional state and my emotional abilities. I _personally_ find I can not muster anger or hatred that for me _personally_ it collapses into pity every time.

I think a lot of it comes from my outlook in terms of meditation, free will, empathy and the nature of consciousness. It makes sustaining emotions like Anger nigh impossible for me.

The ability not to be angry or hate however has _zero_ impact on my sense of pursuit of justice. I would seek justice against the perpetrators of such threats with every bit as much fibre as those that hate them.

I think quite often when you express any kind of human empathy towards the perpetrators of crimes - especially sexual and violent crimes - people (maybe for good reason) assume this negatively impacts your sense of justice in some way. It really doesn't. Even a little bit.

KikiLaRue wrote: »

in another way it’s infuriating that your well-articulated compassion and pity is flowing towards the perpetrators of such appalling behaviour rather than the victims.

Except it is not. There is no "rather" for me. The two are not mutually exclusive in any way whatsoever. They flow equally in both directions. I just happened to make a post about one of them. That should not be used to infer the state of the other.

Remember before the post you replied to I wrote about how me and my partners were in fact ourselves the victims. We got the hate. We got the death threats. We got the rape threats. We even got threats against the well being of our toddler at the time. Including threats to use her sexually too. A 2 year old FFS.

I have zero issue with putting myself with full empathy in the place of the victims here.

KikiLaRue wrote: »

The amount of disgusting messages I get in a week is unreal. And I’m not high profile. I’m just a woman on a dating app.

Indeed I just wrote this week another post on another thread about the messages a girlfriend of mine gets on a chat room app while being female there. And I only commented on the opening messages she gets. I could go on about the abuse she sometimes gets from a minority if she politely deflects their sexual advances.

The crimes of a section of my gender are not ones you will find me ever excusing or defending or diluting. I am well aware of them from many sources first, second and third hand.

SirGerryAdams · 07-06-2019 10:34am

red petal wrote: »

And if there was a thread on boards about them getting abuse, I would say the same! Not sure the point you're trying to make.

There wouldn't be a thread on boards because they don't run off to their media buddies looking for attention thinking they're the only ones to get a rude message. :rolleyes:

So much for "deactivated her social media accounts". Her instagram is wide open and her twitter is just private (can still send messages) so what's the point of that?

I wonder how many followers she has gained in the last few days?

Gimme A Pound · 07-06-2019 10:35am

SirGerryAdams wrote: »

0 proof.

Show these "hundreds" of threats. It's quite easy to show proof.

Talk about selective - do you look for proof of every claim of abuse? Including when it's men on the receiving end? Do you look for proof of every claim? In order to be consistent, you should.

KikiLaRue wrote: »

Do you have any reason to believe she’s making it up?

Of course - she's a *female*

weldoninhio · 07-06-2019 10:35am

RWCNT wrote: »

In all seriousness, what are you even supposed to do if an under-ager sends you a nude? Call the cops to let them know youre in possession of child porn? Delete it and be paranoid forever? Nightmare scenario.

How do you tell a person's age by looking at their mickey??

SirGerryAdams · 07-06-2019 10:36am

ohnonotgmail wrote: »

Nobody has mentioned hundreds apart from and others like you. Dozens was the amount mentioned in the IT article.

Yeah?

https://www.independent.ie/irish-news/its-had-a-massive-impact-on-me-illustrator-faces-hundreds-of-death-threats-after-article-is-featured-in-junior-cert-exam-38189275.html

'It’s had a massive impact on me' - illustrator faces 'hundreds of death threats' after article is featured in Junior Cert exam

SirGerryAdams · 07-06-2019 10:37am

Brody Modern Aeroplane wrote: »

Talk about selective - do you look for proof of every claim of abuse? Including when it's men on the receiving end? Do you look for proof of every claim? In order to be consistent, you should.

Of course - she's a *female*

I would do yeah if the person claiming they received abuse has something to gain from getting in the headlines.

Again, still no comeback to the claims she deactivated social media....which was a lie.

Maria Bailey got abuse, I suppose it's because she's a woman yeah?

SirGerryAdams · 07-06-2019 10:38am

KikiLaRue wrote: »

It’s being reported in the media as “dozens” not “hundreds”. Are you exaggerating to make it seem less believable? Do you have any reason to believe she’s making it up?

Is it yeah?

https://www.independent.ie/irish-news/its-had-a-massive-impact-on-me-illustrator-faces-hundreds-of-death-threats-after-article-is-featured-in-junior-cert-exam-38189275.html

ohnonotgmail · 07-06-2019 10:38am

SirGerryAdams wrote: »

Yeah?

https://www.independent.ie/irish-news/its-had-a-massive-impact-on-me-illustrator-faces-hundreds-of-death-threats-after-article-is-featured-in-junior-cert-exam-38189275.html

Perhaps you should link to an article before referencing a quote from it.

SirGerryAdams · 07-06-2019 10:39am

ohnonotgmail wrote: »

Perhaps you should link to an article before referencing a quote from it.

Perhaps people shouldn't claim I'm making things up then to suit my agenda.

weldoninhio · 07-06-2019 10:40am

suicide_circus wrote: »

if you dont have something nice to say about a woman, dont say anything at all

They all have lovely bottoms.

SirChenjin · 07-06-2019 10:40am

DublinHun72 wrote: »

I remember this too. She inserted herself into the drama for days and none of it made sense. She said at the time the Gardai had opened an investigation into it. Was never mentioned again. It would have been an idea to turn off dm’s and close comments on social media. Kids would move onto the next hot topic. I’ve seen a lot of comments on twitter and as others have said mainly badly phrased attempts at jokes albeit silly ones.

That Bloggers Unveiled thing itself seemed to die away. There was mention of the guards investigating in that case too, if I remember correctly.

KikiLaRue · 07-06-2019 10:41am

SirGerryAdams wrote: »

There wouldn't be a thread on boards because they don't run off to their media buddies looking for attention thinking they're the only ones to get a rude message. :rolleyes:

So much for "deactivated her social media accounts". Her instagram is wide open and her twitter is just private (can still send messages) so what's the point of that?

I wonder how many followers she has gained in the last few days?

Okay, let’s play this out.

Aoife starts getting abuse online and decides to speak out. The kindest possible interpretation is that she is raising awareness about the issue of online abuse and educating parents to talk to their kids about this stuff.

The harshest, most cynical explanation is that she’s cashing in on it by trying to get headlines and new followers.

What if there’s a third possibility that falls between the two: Aoife has decided to raise awareness AND use a ****ty situation to boost her profile at the same time so that she at least gets some benefit for all the abuse?

meeeeh · 07-06-2019 10:42am

Deebles McBeebles wrote: »

That's it though isn't it. Even if mammy is at home with the kids they seem to have impunity to roam around like gangs of feral cats. Its a while ago now but I can't recall ever seeing that when I was young.

I don't know. I actually remember I got rape threats more than 15 years ago from a socialist dental student on another forum. We had an disagreement about economy and my arguments were not left wing enough for him. Instead of replying in the thread he decided to send me rape threats in pm. The only reason I remember it is because it was such a bizarre way to approach an argument about economy.

I actually don't know why some think that threatening someone with a rape or abusing others for the disabilities they have makes them more powerful.

KikiLaRue · 07-06-2019 10:43am

SirGerryAdams wrote: »

Is it yeah?

https://www.independent.ie/irish-news/its-had-a-massive-impact-on-me-illustrator-faces-hundreds-of-death-threats-after-article-is-featured-in-junior-cert-exam-38189275.html

That’s what you get for reading the Indo.

ohnonotgmail · 07-06-2019 10:43am

KikiLaRue wrote: »

That’s what you get for reading the Indo.

Harsh but fair.

Gimme A Pound · 07-06-2019 10:45am

SirGerryAdams wrote: »

I would do yeah if the person claiming they received abuse has something to gain from getting in the headlines.

Again, still no comeback to the claims she deactivated social media....which was a lie.

Maria Bailey got abuse, I suppose it's because she's a woman yeah?

No, it was her odious behaviour. You got the proof of that I assume? (Seeing as it's so important to you).

Your hostility towards this girl Aoife though is due to her being female. The usual woman hating on After Hours.

07-06-2019 10:46am

meeeeh wrote: »

I actually don't know why some think that threatening someone with a rape or abusing others for the disabilities they have makes them more powerful.

A scientist called VS Ramachandran thinks a lot of human behaviour can be explained by cross wiring in the brain between regions that are close to each other physically.

In one talk he made some suggestion that the regions of the brain related to sex and violence are direct neighbours. And that he suspects that a reason sex turns up a lot in our violent behaviours and our aggressive language might be explained by this.

Not sure how much of that was evidenced at the time and how much of it was him thinking out loud. But it was interesting enough to have stayed with me.

mariaalice · 07-06-2019 10:46am

SirGerryAdams wrote: »

There wouldn't be a thread on boards because they don't run off to their media buddies looking for attention thinking they're the only ones to get a rude message. :rolleyes:

So much for "deactivated her social media accounts". Her Instagram is wide open and her twitter is just private (can still send messages) so what's the point of that?

I wonder how many followers she has gained in the last few days?

It an online article from the independent not headline news, you genuinely think she has made it all up? to get more followers.

Your not a standup comedian by any change? becaue all stand up comedians seem to hate each other.

ToBeFrank123 · 07-06-2019 10:47am

I know I'm going to cop a load of criticism, but where are the parents in all of this?

Decent parents don't raise scumbags as kids.

Also, is there a way to name and shame every last person who posted these remarks? If that happened more often, you'd be sure this kind of thing would decline.

Fan of Netflix · 07-06-2019 10:48am

Who is this person? I have never heard of her.

07-06-2019 10:50am

Brody Modern Aeroplane wrote: »

No no, it's made up, she shouldn't be in the public eye if she can't handle it, what about men? Oh wait, she's a conservative woman and the comments were by muslims? Damn their misogyny!

That should be the bingo card covered.

Between your anger here, towards that woman Sinead, and your sole contribution on a thread about post natal depression being "What about men?" (Good Christ) that's what I'm basing my question on. Calling that misandry is a heck of a reach.

You haven't actually pointed out a specific double standard - just hypothesised. Yeah I dislike sexism against men or women, and I've no time for today's feminism or much of the #metoo thing, but misdirected anger is uncalled for. It's the downplaying and dismissal of what these women experienced that I take issue with. I think that woman Aoife is an attention seeker too but the insistence on trivialising extreme online abuse - particularly if it's women on the receiving end - is the wider question here. And it is fashionable as fuk. And there are clearly woman haters here also.

Nobody said that whatsoever. Of course women who behave badly should be criticised. For their behaviour. Not simply because they are women.

What he was saying is that the radical left caused them to react the way they did.

(I know ).

- he is being sarcastic/ironic - pretending it's being said that no women should be criticised ever
- where did he say - or even slightly imply - that it's fine for men?

ah hear you need to change your name to gimme a pound of Flesh!
so now it's ANGER... next you'll be wanting my IP address and then asking that I be sacked because I'm an angry militant white man who should be destroyed for showing independent contrasting views not aligned with your opinions or values blah blah blah!! Sarcasm in case you didn't guess..

ok at least we agree she's an attention seeker. Is it a stretch to think same attention seeker may embellish here an there? MAN or WOMAN?? for the record, I am annoyed by more men than women so look there's no need to take two threads and try build a bad profile based on my views therein, it's not balanced really.

meeeeh · 07-06-2019 10:51am

ToBeFrank123 wrote: »

Also, is there a way to name and shame every last person who posted these remarks? If that happened more often, you'd be sure this kind of thing would decline.

There is nothing worse than Twitter mob. I'm not defending those abusing the author of the article but online shaming of people would make things even worse.

meeeeh · 07-06-2019 10:54am

rusty cole wrote: »

ok at least we agree she's an attention seeker. Is it a stretch to think same attention seeker may embellish here an there? MAN or WOMAN?? for the record, I am annoyed by more men than women so look there's no need to take two threads and try build a bad profile based on my views therein, it's not balanced really.

Are you saying it's ok to abuse attention seekers? She can be the most annoying person on the internet and the messages she got would still be wrong. And if it was only one message it is still wrong.

KikiLaRue · 07-06-2019 10:56am

meeeeh wrote: »

Are you saying it's ok to abuse attention seekers? She can be the most annoying person on the internet and the messages she got would still be wrong. And if it was only one message it is still wrong.

YES.

Why are people acting like “she’s a bit of an attention-seeker” is a heinous crime but violent online abuse is just a normal part of life we should all accept and get on with?

07-06-2019 10:59am

ToBeFrank123 wrote: »

I know I'm going to cop a load of criticism, but where are the parents in all of this? Decent parents don't raise scumbags as kids.

Hard to say really. I have written a bit recently about the kids I was working with. On their behaviour they were irredeemable scum bags of the worst order. The kind threatening and accosting and even physically approaching little old ladies.

They are now the loveliest lads you could meet. They had taken a few steps down a bad path. It was relatively simple to guide them back.

I met their parents during this. One pair of them were awful. They simply did not give a crap about their kids. They literally appealed incapable of caring less. They were actually wholly offended someone like me might even care.

The other parents however were lovely though. Aghast at how their kids were turning out. They were really trying. But it simply was not working out for them. The other pressures of life - simply making ends meet and getting dinner on the table - meant they fully intended to be their for their kids but each day it was "Ok - just send them out with their friends again today - and I will be the good parent and do something with them tomorrow or at the weekend".

Their intentions were pure they were just lost. They were failing. They were decent in every way a parent should be. They just couldn't get there.

So I am always hesitant to judge the parent or parenting with a sweeping brush in these things. Some parents are scum. Some are just _lost_.

ToBeFrank123 wrote: »

Also, is there a way to name and shame every last person who posted these remarks? If that happened more often, you'd be sure this kind of thing would decline.

I am sceptical about how useful online shaming would be. You would just get more of the same kind of people sending more of the same kind of abuse at the first lot. Then more at that lot. And more - - - and so on.

If they sent threats they committed a crime. If they send dick pics - even of themselves - of under aged children they committed a crime.

They should be prosecuted for those crimes in the normal way like we would any off line violent threats or child pornography. That they happen to be online or using twitter should not garner special procedures. Treat this like any other crime.

Gimme A Pound · 07-06-2019 10:59am

KikiLaRue wrote: »

YES.

Why are people acting like “she’s a bit of an attention-seeker” is a heinous crime but violent online abuse is just a normal part of life we should all accept and get on with?

Fashion, bandwagon, trying to look cool and tough.

ToBeFrank123 · 07-06-2019 11:09am

meeeeh wrote: »

There is nothing worse than Twitter mob. I'm not defending those abusing the author of the article but online shaming of people would make things even worse.

Nope.

People who send death threats deserve to be named and shamed. And I don't particularly care if it ruins their own life, because it will at least make them think twice about doing it again.

No-one should be subjected to death threats online. It should at the very least be a criminal offence. But don't expect US Corporate loving FG to do anything about it anytime soon.

SirGerryAdams · 07-06-2019 11:10am

KikiLaRue wrote: »

Okay, let’s play this out.

Aoife starts getting abuse online and decides to speak out. The kindest possible interpretation is that she is raising awareness about the issue of online abuse and educating parents to talk to their kids about this stuff.

The harshest, most cynical explanation is that she’s cashing in on it by trying to get headlines and new followers.

What if there’s a third possibility that falls between the two: Aoife has decided to raise awareness AND use a ****ty situation to boost her profile at the same time so that she at least gets some benefit for all the abuse?

Awareness? Every man and his dog knows the things that go on twitter.

Even so, what's the point of it? Sure the same type of people spreading awareness about this kinda thing are the same people that make blimps mocking other people and accusing them of being nazis.

I wonder how'd you treat someone raising awareness of the abuse John Waters would have received last year for example?

Gimme A Pound · 07-06-2019 11:12am

SirGerryAdams wrote: »

Awareness? Every man and his dog knows the things that go on twitter.

Even so, what's the point of it? Sure the same type of people spreading awareness about this kinda thing are the same people that make blimps mocking other people and accusing them of being nazis.

I wonder how'd you treat someone raising awareness of the abuse John Waters would have received last year for example?

Why are you assuming they're biased when it comes to gender? Not everyone is like you.

As it's so important to you, do you have evidence of the abuse received by John Waters?

KikiLaRue · 07-06-2019 11:13am

SirGerryAdams wrote: »

Awareness? Every man and his dog knows the things that go on twitter.

Even so, what's the point of it? Sure the same type of people spreading awareness about this kinda thing are the same people that make blimps mocking other people and accusing them of being nazis.

I wonder how'd you treat someone raising awareness of the abuse John Waters would have received last year for example?

I don’t know what kind of point you think you’re making, but if John Waters was getting threatened with rape and death I would absolutely support his right to talk about it in the media

SirGerryAdams · 07-06-2019 11:14am

meeeeh wrote: »

Are you saying it's ok to abuse attention seekers? She can be the most annoying person on the internet and the messages she got would still be wrong. And if it was only one message it is still wrong.

Of course it's wrong. Don't think anyone says otherwise.

Just that it has to be accepted if you're going to be in the public eye. That's what happens on twitter. Always will unless we have a dictatorship that controls social media.

It's a bit like leaving your house unlocked when you leave. It's obviously wrong to break in and steal things, but when it happens you're going to be called a dumbass.

red petal · 07-06-2019 11:14am

SirGerryAdams wrote: »

There wouldn't be a thread on boards because they don't run off to their media buddies looking for attention thinking they're the only ones to get a rude message. :rolleyes:

So much for "deactivated her social media accounts". Her instagram is wide open and her twitter is just private (can still send messages) so what's the point of that?

I wonder how many followers she has gained in the last few days?

Confidently assuming you do not follow her or you would be well aware of the fact that she would not be enjoying that kind of "publicity" or attention for the sake of a few followers.

Death threats and abuse - emotional or otherwise is beyond "rude messages". We will all have "rude" things said to us in life and we can brush them off or grow from them but targeting someone and going out of your way to give them abuse is a completely different level. I'm sure you're clever enough to agree!

ToBeFrank123 · 07-06-2019 11:15am

Deleted User wrote: »

Hard to say really. I have written a bit recently about the kids I was working with. On their behaviour they were irredeemable scum bags of the worst order. The kind threatening and accosting and even physically approaching little old ladies.

They are now the loveliest lads you could meet. They had taken a few steps down a bad path. It was relatively simple to guide them back.

I met their parents during this. One pair of them were awful. They simply did not give a crap about their kids. They literally appealed incapable of caring less. They were actually wholly offended someone like me might even care.

The other parents however were lovely though. Aghast at how their kids were turning out. They were really trying. But it simply was not working out for them. The other pressures of life - simply making ends meet and getting dinner on the table - meant they fully intended to be their for their kids but each day it was "Ok - just send them out with their friends again today - and I will be the good parent and do something with them tomorrow or at the weekend".

Their intentions were pure they were just lost. They were failing. They were decent in every way a parent should be. They just couldn't get there.

So I am always hesitant to judge the parent or parenting with a sweeping brush in these things. Some parents are scum. Some are just _lost_.

I am sceptical about how useful online shaming would be. You would just get more of the same kind of people sending more of the same kind of abuse at the first lot. Then more at that lot. And more - - - and so on.

If they sent threats they committed a crime. If they send dick pics - even of themselves - of under aged children they committed a crime.

They should be prosecuted for those crimes in the normal way like we would any off line violent threats or child pornography. That they happen to be online or using twitter should not garner special procedures. Treat this like any other crime.

Like everyone, I have come across a large number of parents and their kids in my life.

In 99% of cases, the kids have very similar personalities to their parents.
If the parents are scumbags, so are the kids.
If the parents are criminals, the kids are heading down that path.
If the parents are self obsessed and narcissistic, so are the kids.
It the parents are decent, hard working, honest, responsible, generally the kids are too.

Morals start at home.

And you always hear of a parent complaining they have tried their best, but they can't control their kids. Which is nonsense.

Gimme A Pound · 07-06-2019 11:15am

KikiLaRue wrote: »

I don’t know what kind of point you think you’re making, but if John Waters was getting threatened with rape and death I would absolutely support his right to talk about it in the media

Same here.

Some folk will only support it for some, not for others though - depends on their views and whether it's convenient.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 07-06-2019 11:15am

_Brian wrote: »

Our society is gone to hell if this has happened.

I’ve no idea who she is nor what she writes about but it’s absurd that she would get abuse over poetry or whatever she writes.

I hope these barbarians are found and dealt with (not that I really beleive it will happen)

This stuff sickens me too. I had no idea who she was either so had no preconceived notions.

The worst I ever heard of was H from Steps getting death threats and abuse because his real name is Ian Watkins which he has in common with the Lostprophets lead singer who was jailed for various offences against children. People who were unfamiliar with Lostprophets must have heard the name in the news, googled it and went with the first Ian Watkins that was thrown up.

KikiLaRue · 07-06-2019 11:16am

SirGerryAdams wrote: »

Awareness? Every man and his dog knows the things that go on twitter.

Even so, what's the point of it? Sure the same type of people spreading awareness about this kinda thing are the same people that make blimps mocking other people and accusing them of being nazis.

I wonder how'd you treat someone raising awareness of the abuse John Waters would have received last year for example?

Also, everyone knows cancer exists too but we still have breast cancer awareness initiatives because it’s still a problem.

Do you think women getting rape threats should just put up and shut up?

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 07-06-2019 11:16am

dhaughton99 wrote: »

Wouldn’t that be classed as kiddie porn?

Yeah probably, though I think she would be able to prove that it was unsolicited.

Gimme A Pound · 07-06-2019 11:17am

KikiLaRue wrote: »

Do you think women getting rape threats should just put up and shut up?

Some folk sure as heck do.

Gimme A Pound · 07-06-2019 11:18am

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

This stuff sickens me too. I had no idea who she was either so had no preconceived notions.

The worst I ever heard of was H from Steps getting death threats and abuse because his real name is Ian Watkins which he has in common with the Lostprophets lead singer who was jailed for various offences against children. People who were unfamiliar with Lostprophets must have heard the name in the news, googled it and went with the first Ian Watkins that was thrown up.

Yeah a random guy in Scotland called Steve Bannen gets unreal abuse.

Disgusting dumb lowlives.

ohnonotgmail · 07-06-2019 11:21am

SirGerryAdams wrote: »

Of course it's wrong. Don't think anyone says otherwise.

Just that it has to be accepted if you're going to be in the public eye. That's what happens on twitter. Always will unless we have a dictatorship that controls social media.

It's a bit like leaving your house unlocked when you leave. It's obviously wrong to break in and steal things, but when it happens you're going to be called a dumbass.

distributing child pornography is to be accepted? you have very low standards indeed. I would hope most of society has higher expectations.

07-06-2019 11:23am

ToBeFrank123 wrote: »

In 99% of cases, the kids have very similar personalities to their parents.

Thankfully anecdote is not statistics and the %s in my experience do not match yours that closely at all.

I think kids can start turning out pretty awful quite easily. It does not require the parents be scum or criminals. The best parents in the world can churn out awful kids.

And it can be for little other reason than - as I said in the last post - the parents lack the time. Taking the easy road too often by letting the kids use the phone too much - or saying "Go out and play with your friends" too often.

It is not just parenting either. I think we all have periods in our life where we know the right thing to do - and we fully intend to do it - but each day we find a reason to say "not today - I will get to it tomorrow".

And with kids it does not take too much boredom - or lack of guidance - even from the most well intentioned and otherwise wonderful people who are their parents - to send them down a dark path.

As I said the kids I started working with here locally were behaving in a way that would have most people write them off as irredeemable. I mean who physically accosts little old ladies???? Who does that??

Yet it was _so easy_ for me to bring them back. They were not evil. They were not scum. Nor were their parents for the most part. They were all just a little bit lost. The same kids are now helping the same little old ladies carry their shopping all the way home from the shop and doing some of their gardening for them. They sometimes even just visit them to chat to make sure they are not lonely.

ToBeFrank123 wrote: »

And you always hear of a parent complaining they have tried their best, but they can' control their kids. Which is nonsense.

It is and it isn't. Such parents can really feel that way. They just need to be shown the way sometimes. Since my work with the kids here locally I have been approached by parents who see me as the new local Jo Frost. And sometimes when I offer them advice they literally have a jaw drop moment of "I simply never thought of doing that".

We do not get parenting education in our school curriculum. Isn't that odd? For many of us parenting is what we will be doing for what may even be the majority of our lives. And we get absolutely no education on it in our schools. Doesn't that fact feel a little bit weird???

Aoife Dooley abused online after her article appeared in Junior Cert paper!

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