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27-04-2021, 15:09   #16
KKV
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Got married because I became pregnant.
We stayed together 16 years all the same... I can't forgive him not being part of his children's lives though.

16 years seems plenty of time to be part of the childrens lives? Unless I'm reading that wrongly?
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27-04-2021, 15:13   #17
JeffreyEpspeen
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You were born because your parents had sex. I doubt it was your grandmother's fault?

It's not at all unique, it's not even awful. Just saying what happened to me when I settled.
I'm not the oldest. I've been privy to conversations where it's been made clear that my mother married not because it's what she wanted, but what other people wanted. Hence more children and me further down the line.

I wallowed in pity but she was just a teenager. She had to make life decisions at 18 that I'm not capable of making in my thirties.

Thank god people have more options nowadays and the god botherers have less influence.
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27-04-2021, 15:15   #18
McGinniesta
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I don;t see the point in settling for anything less than happiness.

I'd rather be single than unhappy.
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27-04-2021, 15:23   #19
Hyperbollix
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Marry for love in your 20's..............

Marry for financial security, social status, 3 holidays and a new car every year... in your 30's
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27-04-2021, 15:29   #20
bilbot79
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I married for love.












She married for money.
She sounds hot
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27-04-2021, 15:41   #21
Leg End Reject
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As the saying goes around here... She/He walked up the isle with nothing.... Walked back down with half the farm. Not unusual around these parts anyway....
Do you all get married up north?
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27-04-2021, 15:46   #22
Oops!
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Do you all get married up north?
Nope, other end of the country is where i am, Also have neither a wife or a farm and happy that way!
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27-04-2021, 16:25   #23
_Whimsical_
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16 years seems plenty of time to be part of the childrens lives? Unless I'm reading that wrongly?
The oldest is 16. The youngest is who knows?

Regardless, you can leave a marriage but you cannot just say bye to your kids and have that be fine, particularly during years they need emotional and financial support. 16 is definitely in that bracket. There is no "you've had plenty time" for kids.
I know people who've had serious parental estrangement as adults and it's caused huge pain. That is not fine for any 16 year old.
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27-04-2021, 16:42   #24
KathleenGrant
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16 years seems plenty of time to be part of the childrens lives? Unless I'm reading that wrongly?
You are not thinking it out properly. Children are not all the same age.

The oldest was 16 when he left. We had a large family. The youngest three were 2, 4 and 7 when he left. Not a phone call, birthday card or xmas present since. I didn't make it difficult for him in case that's what you think. Like i said, i don't blame him for leaving me. I feel sorry for him that he stayed so long in a relationship he was unhappy in. But turning his back on his children I can't forgive him for.
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27-04-2021, 16:51   #25
Kerry25x
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Madly in love honestly and its been 12 years now (only married for 2 of those).
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27-04-2021, 16:56   #26
KathleenGrant
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Originally Posted by JeffreyEpspeen View Post
I'm not the oldest. I've been privy to conversations where it's been made clear that my mother married not because it's what she wanted, but what other people wanted. Hence more children and me further down the line.

I wallowed in pity but she was just a teenager. She had to make life decisions at 18 that I'm not capable of making in my thirties.

Thank god people have more options nowadays and the god botherers have less influence.
Ok I see now what you mean.
You hardly resent being born though. Are you not glad?
On the plus side, myself and a lot of people my age had children we never planned and it was not unknown for women to be upset to be pregnant again. But that was just a reaction at the time and those children were loved and cherished the same as those who were planned.
I really hope that was the case with you.
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27-04-2021, 18:28   #27
soups05
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I had to go wading through piles of my own BS to find my post from 2011:

I met a wonderful woman and got engaged 5 months later. 13 months after we met we got married. all of my friends said we were crazy,too young etc. last oct we celebrated our 20th anniversery. four kids, four million rows,no regerts.

remember, the best part about fighting is making up afterwards .

I turn 40 this july, when shes around i feel 20.


I turn 50 this year, still married to her,(31 years this year) still very much in love. now with grandkids
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27-04-2021, 18:31   #28
KaneToad
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I definitely didn't settle. Herself might say otherwise. But I don't think so...
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27-04-2021, 18:43   #29
A Lamb Named Miltiades!
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Originally Posted by Oops! View Post
As the saying goes around here... She/He walked up the isle with nothing.... Walked back down with half the farm. Not unusual around these parts anyway....
There's also an expression for the opposite of that. If a farmer has married a primary-school teacher, for example, he is said to have gotten himself "a laying hen".

It's obviously not a serious comment, but there is of course a practical legal and economic element to marriage.
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27-04-2021, 18:43   #30
username2020
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My mother always told me marry someone with money because love runs out..

So I married for love, married a year and a half after we met at the tender ages of 21 and 24, still together 12 years and still in love, best friends! Many a argument, 4 kids later.
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