The Quotable Homer...

here are some of my favourite Homer quotations. care to add any of your own?

Homer: Not a bear in sight. The Bear Patrol must be working like a charm.
Lisa: That's specious reasoning, Dad.
Homer: Thank you, dear.
Lisa: By your logic I could claim that this rock keeps tigers away.
Homer: Oh, how does it work?
Lisa: It doesn't work.
Homer: Uh-huh.
Lisa: It's just a stupid rock.
Homer: Uh-huh.
Lisa: But I don't see any tigers around, do you?
[Homer thinks, then pulls out some money]
Homer: Lisa, I want to buy your rock.


Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about
bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No!
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal!
Homer (mockingly): Heh, heh, heh... ooh... yeah... right, Lisa. A
wonderful... magical animal.

Homer's brain: Use reverse psychology.
Homer: Oh, that sounds too complicated.
Homer's brain: Okay, don't use reverse psychology.
Homer: Okay, I will!

"I'm not normally a praying man. But if you are up there, please save me
superman"

"Nobody knows the band Grand Funk? The wild shirtless lyrics of Mark Farner?
The bong rattling bass of Mel Shocker? The competent drum-work of Don
Brewer? Oh man!"

Lisa - Careful Dad, you're the highly suggestable type.
Homer - Yes, I am the highly suggestable type.

Homer: Aww! 20 dollars! I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: 20 dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.
Homer: Woo Hoo!!

Marge: Homer, there's a man here who thinks he can help you.
Homer: Batman?
Marge: No, he's a scientist.
Homer: Batman's a scientist.
Marge: It's not Batman!

Homer: For once, somebody may call me "Sir" without adding, "...you're
making a scene."

Homer: Well crying isn't going to get your dog back, unless your tears smell
like dog food! So you can sit here crying and eating dog food until your
tears smell enough like dog food to make your dog come back or you can get
out there and find your dog!

Marge: Homer, you don't have to join a traveling freak show just because the
opportunity arises.
Homer: Marge, you and I are very different people.

Homer's brain decides it's time to tell Marge his big secret:
Homer : Marge, I ate those fancy soaps you bought for the bathroom.
Marge : Oh, my gosh!
Brain : No, the other secret.
Homer : Marge, I never passed high school.
Marge : That still doesn't explain why you ate my soap. Wait, maybe it
does.

Homer on finding a three chambered peanut :
"Marge! Marge! Look what I did!"

When Homer refuses to watch the Springfield Isotopes again:
Homer: You kids will be dead in your cold,cold graves before that ever
happens.
Marge: Homer will you stop talking about the childrens graves!

Homer on movies:
"I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around a city, keeping
its speed over fifty, and if it's speed dropped, it would explode! I think
it was called "The bus that couldn't slow down."

"Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from
the animals... except the weasel."

Love it!