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Would you ask somebody ''How were they feeling/How was their mental health''?

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    #32
    Skybirdjb
    Registered Users Posts: 954 ✭✭✭Skybirdjb


    I would love if someone genuinely asked me if I was ok . Mental health issues make you so lonely and that one question makes such a difference. Can turn such a bad day into an ok day .


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    #33
    Bigbagofcans
    Registered Users Posts: 1,164 ✭✭✭Bigbagofcans


    twignme wrote: »
    It’s not about asking the question. It’s about whether you will listen to the answer.

    Very good point.

    I cherish the good listener friends I have. Because there are people who only talk about themselves and don't care too much about what you have to say.


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    #34
    fussyonion
    Registered Users Posts: 7,818 ✭✭✭fussyonion


    cannotlogin wrote: »
    Genuinely, are you ok? and if not, please do talk to someone. Anyone

    Thank you so much. Most days I AM ok but there are many when I'm not. I try and distract myself from my thoughts and I'm doing yoga which helps.


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    #35
    Hoboo
    Registered Users Posts: 3,518 ✭✭✭Hoboo


    Spanish Eyes wrote: »
    I heard an answer from a friend recently to my question "howya doing"

    Ah ok, could be better, but feck that, I'll be grand. And he carried on the convo about kids, schools, work and so on in a superficial way but looked strained.

    I really did not know how to react.

    What do we do? Intervening is great if there is a crisis, but if people think they are fine, well that's it isn't it? Privacy and all that.


    You don't have to pry, but looking them in the eye and asking them are they ok,.and if anything's up you're there for a chat and help in any way goes a long way. People don't want to burden others with their problems, unless a genuine offer to listen is offered. Can mean a massive difference.


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    #36
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    freshpopcorn wrote: »
    Would you ask somebody ''How were they feeling/How was their mental health''?
    If you did how did it go?

    Happy world mental health day to you - a timely enough thread :)

    For me it has been a journey from poor mental health to where I am today.

    But I had a personal revelation along the way. I improved my physical health over that period too and one day I realised I was doing two different things in both places - with different effects.

    That is - I would be improving my physical health and talking about it with people - talking about my weaknesses and struggles and how I have been improving them. Or I would talk about some physical achievement - a long run or a new belt or a new milestone - and people were engaged and interested and asking me how they could do stuff in their own lives.

    Then with mental health I was asking people directly how they were and if they were ok or needed anything and they would close down and not really engaged. Making it entirely about them and not at all about me.

    So one day it hit me - why am I doing it that way? I flipped the latter to be more like the former. I started talking about my own mental health issues and struggles - and what I was doing to improve them. Milestones and achievements and so on. And the same effect happened. People got engaged - interested - and were more inclined to seek help.

    So that is how I do it now. I open the door to being approached by being open about my own journey and struggles and how I work hard to maintain my mental health today and not slip back - which is so easily done - to how I was before.

    And people open up to me - seek help and advice more often - and engage more because of it. I find in my life at least - being open and relatable about my own struggles and issues - leads people to "me too - what can I do about that?" or "What do you find helps with that issue - I could do with improving that" type responses to me.


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    #37
    TomSweeney
    Registered Users Posts: 3,193 ✭✭✭TomSweeney


    I can only imagine my friends getting all awkward with converxsations like that.
    F*ck it , I'm grand, I just push it all down and let it bubble inside me.

    On the outside tho, I'm ****ing grand like !! laughing all the way !!!


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    #38
    mariaalice
    Registered Users Posts: 12,363 ✭✭✭✭mariaalice


    TomSweeney wrote: »
    I can only imagine my friends getting all awkward with converxsations like that.
    F*ck it , I'm grand, I just push it all down and let it bubble inside me.

    On the outside tho, I'm ****ing grand like !! laughing all the way !!!

    Why though? there was an excellent bit on nationwide last night they has a man talking about his struggles they had his parents talk about how he was a sensitive child who worried a lot, he talked about his embarrassment of going to st John of gods as a teenage but as he could talk to his friends about it as a young adult one of his friends made a short film about him.

    The reason anyone should check it out is he wasn't campaigning as such he was a normal average man he went to college has a job is married very ordinary so very relatable to the average person.


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