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answer to chain mails

  • 13-12-1999 11:35am
    #1
    Monty - the one and only
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,274 ✭✭✭


    Please take note guys!!!


    An Answer to Chain Letters
    Hello, my name is Danny. I am suffering from rare and
    deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, extreme virginity,
    and fear of being kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution. I also
    suffer from the guilt of not forwarding 50 billion fu(king chain letters
    sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, a
    poor 6-year-old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able
    to
    raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her
    to a travelling freak show. Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is
    going
    to give you, and everyone to whom you send "his" email, $1000?
    How stupid are we? "Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and
    make a wish, I'll get laid by every Playboy model in the magazine!"
    What a bunch of bullsh!t.

    Basically, this message is a big FU(K YOU to all the
    people out there who have nothing better to do than to send me stupid
    chain mail forwards. Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into
    my apartment and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing a chain that
    was started by Peter in 5 AD and brought to this country by midget pilgrims
    on the Mayflower and which, if it makes it to the year 2000, will be in the
    Guinness Book of World Records for longest continuous streak of blatant
    stupidity. **** them.

    If you're going to forward something, at least send me
    something mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 50 of your
    closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will
    somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being" forwards about 90
    times. I don't ****ing care. Show a little intelligence and think
    about what you're actually contributing to by sending out these forwards.
    Chances are, it's your own unpopularity.

    The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave
    you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. If it's
    funny, send it on. Don't **** people off by making them
    feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to
    a dead elephant for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per
    letter he'll receive if you forward this email, lest he end up like
    Miranda.
    Right?

    Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise, tomorrow morning your
    underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your genitals.



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