"Mammy's a bisexual"

Kinetic^ · 11-02-2009 12:53am

phasers wrote: »

I didn't embarrass my parents

You did......it's why you were kept in doors all the time.

Das Kitty · 11-02-2009 12:57am

stovelid wrote: »

Excellent Da to have, imo.

You wouldn't be saying that if he was yours, trust me on this, you have no idea.

spinandscribble · 11-02-2009 2:20am

Da Bounca wrote: »

As a youngster me da used to bring me with him to the pub the odd time. I'd get filled full of crisps and fizzy's and have a great auld banter with all the folks there. Twas brilliant.
Anyways, one day while in mass me da was supporting me while I was standing on top of the back of the seat in front of us. It was a standing part of the sermon, so as some folks do, they hold their youngsters up so they can see whats goin on and what not. So I must have been getting tetchy or something because all of a sudden I yelled out "Daddy, I wanna go to the pub!".

Well he said he's never been as mortified as that day. I only found this out recently enough as well, I piled over laughing. He told it far better than I did.

i just snorted, that how funny that story is.

spinandscribble · 11-02-2009 2:27am

Cutie18Ireland wrote: »

you think thats bad?? i was prince charming in my school play!! cause i was the tallest!! had to wear a frilly shirt and dance around the p.e hall with a girl i hated!!

same thing happened to me!!! except i was best buds with my cinderella

dade · 11-02-2009 9:34am

ExOffender wrote: »

ExOffender in pram, at Botanic Gardens, as black guy walks past: ! Only about 3 or 4, but still... scarla on me! Not to mention the mammy.

know a guy and his son did something that. they where in Mc Donalds and this black lass was serving them and he said "Da I don't want it from the chocolate person, I'm not eating it if she touches it"

qz · 11-02-2009 9:36am

dade wrote: »

know a guy and his son did something that. they where in Mc Donalds and this black lass was serving them and he said "Da I don't want it from the chocolate person, I'm not eating it if she touches it"

LOL

PeakOutput · 11-02-2009 9:47am

i dont actually remember doing this but

my dad was trying to sell his peugeot 406 it was probably the early 90's so i was between 5 and 10. a guy came over to the house to have a look at the car and seemed interested and was discussing everything that was wrong with it and prices and they were nearing agreement when i said

'dad arent you going to tell him that the radio dosnt work'

he was none to pleased with me when the guy left without buying it

liah · 11-02-2009 9:54am

Le Rack wrote: »

emm about a year ago, I was sitting in the front room with my parents, I came across the word "nymphomaniac" in my book, so I blurted out what a nympho. After a few seconds o not getting a reply I knew something was up. I looked at mam, she looked at dad, he looked back. Mam : "Would you like to tell your daughter what that is?"
Dad : "Mother tell your daughter what a nympho is" this tennis went on for a while with those exact words finally, mam looked at me "Its a person that likes a lot of sex", I was 16, and I dont know who was redder me or her!

I did the exact same thing.

Except I was 7 (I was a wordy kid).

And it was christmas dinner.

Whole family was there.

Classy.

redfacedbear · 11-02-2009 10:59am

I've just gotten a copy of 'The Little Mermaid' Disney film for my 3yoa daughter. The only interest she has shown in the film is regarding the size of the Mermaid's bossom.

'Mammy look at the size of her boobies!'

'Daddy, Ariel has big boobies, but I don't have any - when I get bigger I'm going to have big big boobies like her and Mammy'

She has yet to discuss it in public but it is probably only a matter of time!

Rebel021 · 11-02-2009 11:03am

Pet wrote: »

I was about 8 years old, on a packed bus on the way home from town. And an ad for "Condom Power" (the sex shop) comes on over the radio..some guy talking about a selection of condoms, exotic costumes, blah this and that and "adult toys". I asked innocently (and in a loud voice) "Mammy what do adults need toys for?"
Cue embarrassed silence from my mother and stifled giggles on the bus..

That is clasic:D

Rebel021 · 11-02-2009 12:14pm

My mother was at her friends house years ago who had just got a new set of Table and Chairs for the Kitchen,
My mother said they were lovely and remarked that ourrs were only good for firewood upon hearing this my brother went home and when she got backfound them in pieces out the back garden needless to say she wasn't happy nor was my dad who had to fork out a fortune for a new set.

truecrippler · 11-02-2009 12:31pm

LadyJ wrote: »

Oh another! One time on the dart with my mother(same mother as at start of thread) I asked innocently,but loudly "Mammy,what's rape?". She said she'd tell me later and people started laughing.
After a minute or so,looking suddenly frightened,she added "Why?"

I remember being on the bus with my cousin years ago, she was about 3. She never really saw a black person before. There was a black girl sitting near us and my cousin kept saying "That girl looks funny". Didn't know what to do lol.

Ah... the innocence of children.

ergonomics · 11-02-2009 12:58pm

My parents are divorced and as a child I visited my Dad every weekend. I seemed to store up all my embarrassing questions for him. Credit to him, he always told me the honest truth.

Me: What's a wet t-shirt competition?
Dad: It's a competition where women get water poured over their tops to make their boobs look bigger. Whoever has the biggest boobs, wins. (I was about 5 for this one).

My sister spends a lot of time babysitting her boyfriend's niece and nephew. The niece took a real shine to her and wanted to do everything my sister does. She also pretends that my sister does things so she can go them too.

One day at dinner the niece announced, in front of all the family, that she didn't want to wear knickers anymore because my sister doesn't. She was mortified and apparently the mother took her aside later and asked her what she was telling her daughter.

shock_value · 11-02-2009 2:38pm

PeakOutput wrote: »

i dont actually remember doing this but

my dad was trying to sell his peugeot 406 it was probably the early 90's so i was between 5 and 10. a guy came over to the house to have a look at the car and seemed interested and was discussing everything that was wrong with it and prices and they were nearing agreement when i said

'dad arent you going to tell him that the radio dosnt work'

he was none to pleased with me when the guy left without buying it

lol.

Once my mam was trying to pay for some tennis camp ( i was about 8 or 9 at the time). Because we were a week late my mam was trying to haggle down a better deal. The woman said fine, £15 and my mam was like "i don't have that much on me" i didn't know my mam was trying to cheat the woman out of money so i said "look ma, there's a 20 there in your purse!".

She was mortified

!

HouseHippo · 11-02-2009 3:02pm

I was around 9,with my mam and dad on a crowded beach.

I found some sort of weird shaped seaweed and proceed to run along the beach screaming...,,"look mammy another orgasam,I found another orgasam"

I meant organism of course...

Kernel32 · 11-02-2009 3:02pm

My 3 year old embarrassed me the other day. We, myself, wife and two kids were heading into a restaurant. There was some dog crap on the ground near the door. My wife sees it and turns to me and just says mind that without even mentioning what it was. I pick up my three year old daughter so she wouldn't step in it. We get in the door, me with daughter in my arms and were greeted by the seater person. My little angel who has no volume control says very loudly, "you stepped in dog poop daddy" and gives one of her very loud laughs. Half the restaurant turns to look at me. It was an awkward walk to our table.

Miss Nell · 25-02-2009 10:00pm

A guy I know had to report to the local cop shop (had been caught speeding on more than one occassion). So daddy brought his 3 year old son with him, thinking the cops wud take a shine to the kid (he did have the face of an angel) and go easy on him. Anyway, the guard pops his head out of the hatch thingy they have and little angel face turns to cop and says...."Hiya Pig!"

Needless to say they didn't go easy on him...

This thread is class BTW!

Sean Templar · 25-02-2009 10:25pm

LadyJ wrote: »

Ok,so when LadyJ was a babyj,not more than 6,her liberal and open-minded mother decided to explain to her the difference between being homo/hetero and bisexual.
Because she wanted me to grow up being as open-minded as her good self,when I asked which she was,she told me that if she really thought about it she'd probably say bi.... She wasn't of course.
Anyway,a few days later she brought me to some psychology conference with her and while we were eating dinner with a bunch of professors I blurted out "Mammy's a bisexual. What are all of you?"
As my mother dragged me out of the room I screamed "But mammy,you said it was normal to...-" And,with that,her hand closed over my mouth :rolleyes:

Teehee... So I just wondered if any of you have ever embarrassed your parents or if any knowledge they imposed on you ever back-fired on them!

When i was ten my dad said the next door neighbour was a thieving bastard(something to do with a borrowed ladder).I made sure to tell the neighbour just that.For some reason my dad was'nt happy?.

MitchKoobski · 30-07-2010 2:57pm

Nearly bust a nut laughing at this in work, had to revive it.

My dad brought me to mass one sunday when I was 3, much to my annoyance. I started complaining the second we walked in and dad pleaded with me to just stay quiet and we could be out of here in half an hour. This didn't sit well with 3 year old me. As the priest went to start his reading I let rip with a massive "BOOOORRRRIIIIINNNGGG" and the priest stopped where he was and looked over at me. The people around me started laughing and the priest said "Well everyone is entitled to their opinion". Dad dragged me home while laughing himself. Mam didn't think it was as funny.

funk-you · 30-07-2010 3:01pm

MitchKoobski wrote: »

Nearly bust a nut laughing at this in work, had to revive it.

My dad brought me to mass one sunday when I was 3, much to my annoyance. I started complaining the second we walked in and dad pleaded with me to just stay quiet and we could be out of here in half an hour. This didn't sit well with 3 year old me. As the priest went to start his reading I let rip with a massive "BOOOORRRRIIIIINNNGGG" and the priest stopped where he was and looked over at me. The people around me started laughing and the priest said "Well everyone is entitled to their opinion". Dad dragged me home while laughing himself. Mam didn't think it was as funny.

Don't we already have a Zombie forum?

-Funk

smash · 30-07-2010 3:04pm

A few years ago the other half decided to be a rep for Ann Summers for a laugh and do some parties. She got her kit bag for the parties but didn't hide it well and when a UPS man came to the door with a delivery, as she was signing, our 3yr old was shouting pew pew and aiming at him from the top of the stairs with a rampant rabbit!

Novella · 30-07-2010 3:07pm

When I was really young, my dad brought me to visit his parents and ended up cutting the grass or something for their elderly neighbour. I was playing in the garden and the lady gave me some money when we were leaving.

My grandparents later asked did I have a good day, and I replied, "Oh yes, the lady with the beard gave me a fiver."

She had a lil bit of facial hair, but I seemed to think it perfectly appropriate to mention it. My dad still loves to bring it up!

PaddyBomb · 30-07-2010 3:13pm

When I was 5 or 6, I wanted to go out and play but I was still in my pyjamas. My sister wouldnt let me, so I ran upstairs picked up the phone and rang 999 crying that my sister wouldnt let me out. She wasnt happy when they rang back.

Little did my sister know that I was a young fashion icon and everyone would be soon wearing their pyjamas outside.

"Mammy's a bisexual"

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