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Fellow men, I need a Hobbie before the women drive me demented

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13

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    #62
    Snails pace
    Registered Users Posts: 601 ✭✭✭Snails pace


    Hyperbollix wrote: »
    Take up cycling. Go the whole hog with a decent bike and a kinky amount of lycra. With the 5km restriction, you can still do 30km loops around your house and disappear for a good 2/3 hours.

    Or like most other fellas just give out about them. You'd get hours out of that too.


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    #63
    Softshoulder
    Site Banned Posts: 49 ✭Softshoulder


    Shag another bird and then you'll feel guilty and won't find her blabbering annyoying.


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    #64
    Casey78
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 873 ✭✭✭Casey78


    Nevermind the cycling,nobody likes cyclists,you should take up Running. Greatest thing ever imo.


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    #65
    fleet_admiral
    Registered Users Posts: 3,747 ✭✭✭fleet_admiral


    Niece you say...


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    #66
    Pauliedragon
    Registered Users Posts: 2,461 ✭✭✭Pauliedragon


    Ride the niece then none of them will talk to you. Nice quiet life ahead.


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    #67
    Casey78
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 873 ✭✭✭Casey78


    Pauliedragon wrote: »
    Ride the niece then none of them will talk to you. Nice quiet life ahead.

    Its his own niece you sick ****.


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    #68
    pgj2015
    Registered Users Posts: 8,927 ✭✭✭pgj2015


    Take up fishing or hiking or both.


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    #69
    fonecrusher1
    Registered Users Posts: 5,700 ✭✭✭fonecrusher1


    Definitely time to build yourself an underground man shed with extensive soundproofing and a solid steel door with scratch proof coating.


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    #70
    whisky_galore
    Registered Users Posts: 15,747 ✭✭✭✭whisky_galore


    wally1990 wrote: »
    My niece and sister had to move in with me and my wife

    Now it's constant gossip, chatter and pointless conversations

    They stand outside the house gossiping and talking absolute rubbish with the 2 female neighbors too (being friendly they call it)

    I'm cracking up, I'm literally surrounded now by women yapping all day long.

    I'm too introverted for all this and need my own space



    So men...... How do you escape this madness?

    Women just love yapping. Yapping. And yapping about every single absolute piece of rubbish

    Did you see what blogger X said
    Did you see what blogger X is wearing or what her son had on
    Did you hear about X down the road
    Where did so and so get that car

    Freezing aint it.... Ya gurl...
    You cold?..
    . Ya gurl, cold isn't it
    Ya gurl

    Now with lockdown I'm trapped this madness

    Send help (or at least tips for your fellow man to escape this madness and mind his mental health!)

    Not much different to men yakking about every soccer player's fart endlessly.


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    #71
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    pgj2015 wrote: »
    ... or both.


    Fishing on a hill?


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    #72
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Get yourself a gaming PC and join a discord


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    #73
    Casey78
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 873 ✭✭✭Casey78


    whisky_galore wrote: »
    Not much different to men yakking about every soccer player's fart endlessly.

    tenor.gif


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    #74
    Lewis_Benson
    Registered Users Posts: 1,887 ✭✭✭Lewis_Benson


    wally1990 wrote: »
    My niece and sister had to move in with me and my wife

    Now it's constant gossip, chatter and pointless conversations

    They stand outside the house gossiping and talking absolute rubbish with the 2 female neighbors too (being friendly they call it)

    I'm cracking up, I'm literally surrounded now by women yapping all day long.

    I'm too introverted for all this and need my own space



    So men...... How do you escape this madness?

    Women just love yapping. Yapping. And yapping about every single absolute piece of rubbish

    Did you see what blogger X said
    Did you see what blogger X is wearing or what her son had on
    Did you hear about X down the road
    Where did so and so get that car

    Freezing aint it.... Ya gurl...
    You cold?..
    . Ya gurl, cold isn't it
    Ya gurl

    Now with lockdown I'm trapped this madness

    Send help (or at least tips for your fellow man to escape this madness and mind his mental health!)

    My friend, what you need is a quiet corner.
    Stick on some headphones and the music of your choice, and have a read of this thread, it's the manliest thread on boards

    What's the etiquette here??
    https://touch.boards.ie/thread/2057970654/1


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    #75
    iamstop
    Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 11,820 Mod ✭✭✭✭iamstop


    Metal detector.

    https://open.spotify.com/album/69JKwCcZGdLqX4Upj3DwP7



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    #76
    ShatterAlan
    Registered Users Posts: 2,807 ✭✭✭ShatterAlan


    Give them a taste of their own medicine. Invite a few male friends with bags of cans. Coach them first on the object of the exercise. All get together in the house and proceed to prattle on about not only crap that wouldn't interest women like football, cars, action movies (I know, some women like this stuff but most don't) but also crap that will annoy or disgust them like mysoginistic jokes, dead baby jokes, menstrual cycle jokes, horrible stuff like that. Curse a lot, fart a lot, belch a lot.


    Then when the evening is over and they take you to task tell them "Now you know how I feel having to listen to your drivel about Strictly Come Dancing and X-Factor."


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    #77
    riclad
    Registered Users Posts: 8,184 ✭✭✭riclad


    Go for a walk or cycle,
    i listen to podcasts ,and the radio .
    the time pass,s by .
    have you no room to go to, sit in the yard , garden if you have one.
    its a good time to read books ,you never got time to read.
    go to a park

    get out walk for an hour every day .
    i think women are great, but they tend to talk about similar subjects
    ,soaps ,reality tv.
    Introverts need a quiet space .
    its a tough time for most people .
    maybe get a switch handheld console ,or download games on a phone or a tablet.
    I Read books on my phone if theres no wifi where i am .

    no one likes cyclists,
    wtf .

    bikes are selling like hotcakes .
    its a lot safer and healthier to cycle to work than get on a bus and a
    luas and risk getting covid.
    And its healthy .
    a bike on adverts.ie or gumtree is 60 euro .
    get a mountain bike, make sure the brakes are working before you buy it.

    I,M Sure it,ll be fine ,a bunch of lads in a room , drinking ,
    maybe not a great idea in the middle of a pandemic .

    even in winter its nice to cycle around along the canal,
    i use back streets avoid heavy traffic .

    And theres lots of parks if you happen to live in dublin.
    if you need to stop for a rest.

    women are women ,2 or 3 women in a house will never stop talking.


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    #78
    wally1990
    Registered Users Posts: 1,222 ✭✭✭wally1990


    Sample of Today's conversation (trivial as they may be)

    And nowhere near all of them

    Introvert perspective incoming.






    Woking at the kitchen table

    Whilst on a work meeting (I'm muted but trying to listen and she knows it)

    Sister : did you see the Scissors(q1)
    Me: nope, no idea where it is
    Sister : are you sure (same q#2)
    Me :yes, I haven't seen it
    Sister : I thought you had it (statement and implying a question #3)
    Me: no!! I told you I haven't seen it, go away I'm on a call
    Sister : I only asked ya about the scissors! Storms off


    I'm writing a work email whilst my work phone is ringing from a client aloud and wife hands me a phone across my screen into my face

    Wife : can you read this email for me
    Me : ya, but have you read any of it
    Wife : ya but read it again
    Me: fine, reads email( and says nothing)
    Wife : well........
    Me : well what, I read it
    Wife : tell me about it
    Me: I thought you read it
    Wife : not really, I'd thought ud tell me

    Uggg
    ----
    Reading a work document

    Sister : did you pay the bins
    Me: yes (1 word answer)
    Sister : when?
    Me: last night
    Sister : what time
    Me: (distracted and look up annoyed because I'm trying to focus on a document), what?!? What's with all the questions???
    Sister : I just wanna know did you pay the bins
    Me: I already told you I did


    I'm standing and making a cup of tea

    Sister : will you make me a cup
    Me: ya sure and hands cup to sister
    I sit down and put on headphones
    Sister : inaudible mouth movements
    Me : takes off headphones, what??
    Sister : is ther sugar in this??
    Me: no, there is only milk (puts headphones back on)
    Sister : taps my shoulder
    Me (remove headphones second time),, what??
    Sister : are you sure?
    Me: what? Of course there isn't, you don't take suagr, I didn't give you sugar, I just made the tea, there is no sugar (puts headphones straight back on)
    Sister ( moves my headphone back off my ear), I was only asking, it tastes like there is sugar

    Jesus H christ!!!!

    ----

    I'm reading a work document

    Wife : will you bring out the recycling?
    Me(looks at pc clock 12 53pm), yes in 7 minutes I'm on lunch and will do it
    Wife : (literally 2 min later) : what about the recycling?
    Me: (takes off headphones), ya in a few minutes when I'm on lunch
    Wife : so you gonna bring out the recycling
    Me: (sighs!) yes, when I'm on lunch
    Wife : sure it's there all morning and your doing nothing
    Me(what?!?!? I'm working
    Wife : ah ya your just reading!!

    (by now it's 1pm)

    Me : fine, fine, fine I'll bring it out now

    ---

    Watching the football (real Madrid v Shk)

    Sister :I'm getting a 3 in 1, do you want the same
    Me : ya no problem, I'll have one
    Sister : what do you want
    Me : what??
    Sister : what do you want
    Me : a 3 in 1 I said
    Sister : have you any cash or card
    Me : I've only card
    Sister : so you've no cash?
    Me (internally rolls eyes) : no!!! I've only card I said


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    #79
    irishguitarlad
    Registered Users Posts: 2,748 ✭✭✭irishguitarlad


    wally1990 wrote: »
    Sample of Today's conversation (trivial as they may be)

    And nowhere near all of them

    Introvert perspective incoming.






    Woking at the kitchen table

    Whilst on a work meeting (I'm muted but trying to listen and she knows it)

    Sister : did you see the Scissors(q1)
    Me: nope, no idea where it is
    Sister : are you sure (same q#2)
    Me :yes, I haven't seen it
    Sister : I thought you had it (statement and implying a question #3)
    Me: no!! I told you I haven't seen it, go away I'm on a call
    Sister : I only asked ya about the scissors! Storms off


    I'm writing a work email whilst my work phone is ringing from a client aloud and wife hands me a phone across my screen into my face

    Wife : can you read this email for me
    Me : ya, but have you read any of it
    Wife : ya but read it again
    Me: fine, reads email( and says nothing)
    Wife : well........
    Me : well what, I read it
    Wife : tell me about it
    Me: I thought you read it
    Wife : not really, I'd thought ud tell me

    Uggg
    ----
    Reading a work document

    Sister : did you pay the bins
    Me: yes (1 word answer)
    Sister : when?
    Me: last night
    Sister : what time
    Me: (distracted and look up annoyed because I'm trying to focus on a document), what?!? What's with all the questions???
    Sister : I just wanna know did you pay the bins
    Me: I already told you I did


    I'm standing and making a cup of tea

    Sister : will you make me a cup
    Me: ya sure and hands cup to sister
    I sit down and put on headphones
    Sister : inaudible mouth movements
    Me : takes off headphones, what??
    Sister : is ther sugar in this??
    Me: no, there is only milk (puts headphones back on)
    Sister : taps my shoulder
    Me (remove headphones second time),, what??
    Sister : are you sure?
    Me: what? Of course there isn't, you don't take suagr, I didn't give you sugar, I just made the tea, there is no sugar (puts headphones straight back on)
    Sister ( moves my headphone back off my ear), I was only asking, it tastes like there is sugar

    Jesus H christ!!!!

    ----

    I'm reading a work document

    Wife : will you bring out the recycling?
    Me(looks at pc clock 12 53pm), yes in 7 minutes I'm on lunch and will do it
    Wife : (literally 2 min later) : what about the recycling?
    Me: (takes off headphones), ya in a few minutes when I'm on lunch
    Wife : so you gonna bring out the recycling
    Me: (sighs!) yes, when I'm on lunch
    Wife : sure it's there all morning and your doing nothing
    Me(what?!?!? I'm working
    Wife : ah ya your just reading!!

    (by now it's 1pm)

    Me : fine, fine, fine I'll bring it out now

    ---

    Watching the football (real Madrid v Shk)

    Sister :I'm getting a 3 in 1, do you want the same
    Me : ya no problem, I'll have one
    Sister : what do you want
    Me : what??
    Sister : what do you want
    Me : a 3 in 1 I said
    Sister : have you any cash or card
    Me : I've only card
    Sister : so you've no cash?
    Me (internally rolls eyes) : no!!! I've only card I said

    I think you need to divorce and find a partner you're compatible with.


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    #80
    El_Duderino 09
    Registered Users Posts: 19,953 ✭✭✭✭El_Duderino 09


    wally1990 wrote: »
    Sample of Today's conversation (trivial as they may be)

    And nowhere near all of them

    Introvert perspective incoming.






    Woking at the kitchen table
    ...

    I just don’t think I’d get on with anyone in this story.


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    #81
    skooterblue2
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,816 ✭✭✭skooterblue2


    wally1990 wrote: »

    I'm too introverted for all this and need my own space



    So men...... How do you escape this madness?


    Now with lockdown I'm trapped this madness

    Send help (or at least tips for your fellow man to escape this madness and mind his mental health!)

    Too late to say it but you should have wished your sister and niece the best of luck ("F.O. to your own house!")

    Since the damage is done my I suggest a short break for 5 years in Corsica followed by some light travel to the darker continent for another 10 years.
    You can use my travel agent they will handle the finer details.
    [URL="https://en.legion-recrute.com/mdl/info_liste_a.php?
    article_theme=23&block=23&titre=Where-to-join"]Butlins exotic French destinations[/URL]

    If you seek something more monastic : https://www.glenstal.com/abbey/hospitality/guesthouse

    I belive you need something like an underground fortress to retreat to :
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KO25JYAaJC0&list=ULiyKU1UwUAqQ&index=200


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    #82
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 90,711 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    real-human-20-70-miles-away-hello-i-am-an-37611086.png

    https://pics.me.me/real-human-20-70-miles-away-hello-i-am-an-37611086.png


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    #83
    riclad
    Registered Users Posts: 8,184 ✭✭✭riclad


    Maybe put a small shed
    In the back garden
    All you need is a table a chair a light
    and you ll have a quiet space to go to

    It sounds as if you are working
    in the kitchen and you are getting
    asked random questions from
    women when you are trying to do work on zoom
    or Skype, you have no proper work space to work in and the house is full of women who
    never seem to stop talking


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    #84
    COVID
    Registered Users Posts: 624 ✭✭✭COVID


    You just slip out the back, Jack
    Make a new plan, Stan
    You don't need to be Coy, Roy
    Just get yourself free
    Hop on the bus, Gus
    You don't need to discuss much
    Just drop off the key, Lee
    And get yourself free


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    #85
    Dyr
    Registered Users Posts: 23,246 ✭✭✭✭Dyr


    Casey78 wrote: »
    Its his own niece you sick ****.

    Glad you cleared it up I thought it was someones elses neice he was referring to


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    #86
    bnt
    Registered Users Posts: 12,957 ✭✭✭✭bnt


    Capt'n Midnight wrote: »
    https://pics.me.me/real-human-20-70-miles-away-hello-i-am-an-37611086.png
    That belongs in the Catfishing thread, if you ask me.

    I’ve been thinking about buying a new guitar, and note that big music retailers like Thomann have been doing great business this year. Some of their most popular guitars are going out the door as soon as they come in. At the same time, I don’t think it could be a better time to learn an instrument, since the quality of budget instruments is really good.

    If I had the space and no neighbours, I’d get a drum kit, since it’s something I’ve long wanted to learn, but if you’re looking for a hobby, I’d recommend the electric bass. The world needs more bassists, there are already too many guitarists. :p

    From out there on the moon, international politics look so petty. You want to grab a politician by the scruff of the neck and drag him a quarter of a million miles out and say, ‘Look at that, you son of a bitch’.

    — Edgar Mitchell, Apollo 14 Astronaut



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    #87
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 2,078 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Hope they are wearing masks and social distancing with the neighbour. Talking excitedly for a long time in close proximity is an ideal way to get the rona.


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    #88
    dhaughton99
    Registered Users Posts: 1,695 ✭✭✭dhaughton99


    Having a fling with the sister will sort it out.


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    #89
    _Brian
    Registered Users Posts: 18,475 ✭✭✭✭_Brian


    irishguitarlad wrote: »
    I think you need to divorce and find a partner you're compatible with.

    Agree with this.
    OP has surrounded himself with a class of person that you would
    Need to be brain dead to live with.

    Surely this isn’t a recent development.


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    #90
    jester77
    Registered Users Posts: 11,262 ✭✭✭✭jester77


    Start working on a man cave, clear out some space in your basement or attic. Put in some walls (sound proofing recommended) to enforce your space, a solid door and some good ventilation. Install a good sound system, TV and games system if its of interest, some good whiskys, comfortable chair, shelf for some good books that you want to read and a get yourself a smoking jacket.


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    #91
    lawrencesummers
    Registered Users Posts: 8,474 ✭✭✭lawrencesummers


    Cycling.
    Fresh air not a care in the world and it’s good for you.

    I used to come home to be given a blow by blow account of the OH’s day, and being the consummate gentelman I used to listen To parts and seek clarification at some point to ensure she thought I was paying attention.

    But then she used to ring one if not two of her friends and relay word for word the exact same blow by blow account of her day to them.

    So now I go home, pretend I’m doing something urgent and wait till she gets bored, phonesone of her friends and I listen to bits of that. When she comes at me with the same story I tell her the ending before she gets going and that generally does the trick. Stops her in her tracks.


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