Todays Joke

One that arrive fresh in my mail this morning
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A Manchester United player suddenly dies, and ends up at the gates of heaven, where he is met by St. Peter.

'What the **** do you want?' says St. Peter.
'Well, I want to come in,' says the Utd player.
'Are you serious?, asked St. Peter, 'You can't come in here, we're all ABU's,- head off down below where you belong'.

'Ah, come on,' says the scumbag, 'I've lead a good Christian life. I have donated £10,000 to the St Vincent De Paul, and at least another £5,000 to the Red Cross, that alone should give me entry into heaven'

'Hold on' says St. Peter, 'I'll go and talk to the big fella and see what he thinks'.

So, off goes St Peter to see God, and he returns about 10 minutes later. 'So, whats the story?' asked the Utd player.

With that St. Peter handed him a brown bag and said, 'Here's your £15,000, now **** OFF!!!!!!!!'