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Friend changed me while unconscious

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  • 20-01-2021 12:23pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I don't know how to feel about this but I guess in a way it's my fault. Last week on Friday two female roomates and myself had a few drinks. I always overdo it sometimes so after both of them drank and went to sleep, I took a sleeping pill and went to get one more beer downstairs.

    After mixing the beer with the sleeping pill everything became a blur. I remember going downstairs one more time to get more beer and then falling downstairs and vomiting. The next thing that happened was that my roomate helped me to my room and told me to lie on the bed. I then slept/blacked out until the next morning at 11AM.

    I found myself in totally different clothes and underwear to what I had on the night before. I asked my roomate and she said that she changed me and cleaned me with a hand towel because I had vomit everywhere and even had to mop the bedroom floor because I vomited on it.

    Now don't get me wrong, I appreciate what she did for me a lot but does it not come across as a bit inappropriate? I know she's in fact a carer for elderly people so she would know what to do.

    I'm not faulting her entirely as I realize that my stupid actions led to it.


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    #2
    YellowLead
    Registered Users Posts: 7,681 ✭✭✭YellowLead


    Not really sure if this makes a difference but are you male or female yourself?

    I think while it might be, and probably was well meaning, it’s totally inappropriate. While making sure you were safe and even removing some out items of wet clothing is okay - she should have put a blanket over you and left you as is.


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    #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    YellowLead wrote: »
    Not really sure if this makes a difference but are you male or female yourself?

    I think while it might be, and probably was well meaning, it’s totally inappropriate. While making sure you were safe and even removing some out items of wet clothing is okay - she should have put a blanket over you and left you as is.

    I'm male for your information


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    #4
    Big Bag of Chips
    Administrators Posts: 13,778 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    I think you are maybe focusing on the wrong thing. I'll be honest and say I wouldn't have changed you or cleaned up after you. Not because I would find it inappropriate but simply because I would feel that it wasn't my job to clean you up or clean up after you.

    You acknowledge in your post that you tend to overdo it with the drink. Maybe this is what you need to address rather than your friend who thought she was doing the right thing.


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    #5
    Xterminator
    Registered Users Posts: 4,718 ✭✭✭Xterminator


    i think the inappropriate actions were all on your part. you should apologise profusely and look after yourself better in future.

    I dont think allowing you to potentially drown on your own vomit would have been wise, and if they didnt look after you as they have, the other option was t leave you in your own pool of sick.

    your gender does not really factor in here, IMO. potentially lifesaving actions do outweigh your modesty issues.


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    #6
    weldoninhio
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,311 ✭✭✭✭weldoninhio


    isthisokay? wrote: »
    I don't know how to feel about this but I guess in a way it's my fault. Last week on Friday two female roomates and myself had a few drinks. I always overdo it sometimes so after both of them drank and went to sleep, I took a sleeping pill and went to get one more beer downstairs.

    After mixing the beer with the sleeping pill everything became a blur. I remember going downstairs one more time to get more beer and then falling downstairs and vomiting. The next thing that happened was that my roomate helped me to my room and told me to lie on the bed. I then slept/blacked out until the next morning at 11AM.

    I found myself in totally different clothes and underwear to what I had on the night before. I asked my roomate and she said that she changed me and cleaned me with a hand towel because I had vomit everywhere and even had to mop the bedroom floor because I vomited on it.

    Now don't get me wrong, I appreciate what she did for me a lot but does it not come across as a bit inappropriate? I know she's in fact a carer for elderly people so she would know what to do.

    I'm not faulting her entirely as I realize that my stupid actions led to it.

    You seem to be deflecting from your own issues. You were drunk, took a sleeping tablet, then continued to get beers to the point you were vomitting and collapsing with no control over yourself.


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    #7
    listermint
    Registered Users Posts: 33,692 ✭✭✭✭listermint


    Have you considered you might have wet yourself too.....

    It sounds like you were well looked after . And you also need to knock alcohol on the head it's doesn't appear to be associated with good things for you.


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    #8
    rapul
    Registered Users Posts: 1,038 ✭✭✭rapul


    Making a mountain out of a mole hill


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    #9
    punisher5112
    Registered Users Posts: 24,647 ✭✭✭✭punisher5112


    Honestly I'd say you have an amazing friend that cared for you, may have even saved your life.

    Look up amount of deaths caused by asphyxiation due to blocked airways from vomiting.

    I actually am surprised you are actually even asking and seeing a bad side to someone that actually done an unreal and unbelievably selfless act to help.a friend out.

    Bet you another thing she would never tell anyone either as to not embarrass you more.


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    #10
    punisher5112
    Registered Users Posts: 24,647 ✭✭✭✭punisher5112


    listermint wrote: »
    Have you considered you might have wet yourself too.....

    It sounds like you were well looked after . And you also need to knock alcohol on the head it's doesn't appear to be associated with good things for you.

    I think it's more so the taking of sleeping pills which was a terrible idea.


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    #11
    woodchuck
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 15,409 Mod ✭✭✭✭woodchuck


    It's a little bit inappropriate because you were unconscious and unable to consent to someone undressing you. However, I'd view the act as it was intended - to take care of you.

    It sounds like you were right mess. Would you really prefer to wake up covered in vomit? The fact that she's a career means that it was almost instinctive of her to clean you up and she was probably on autopilot doing it and not taking sneaky peaks or anything (assuming this is a friend that you trust).

    If you don't want it to happen again, maybe just tell her that you appreciate the gesture, but the next time just leave you in your own mess and you'll clean yourself up the next day. Or better yet, stop getting yourself in such a state to begin with.


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    #12
    YellowLead
    Registered Users Posts: 7,681 ✭✭✭YellowLead


    I wonder would you all think it was completely fine if it was a female posting and her male room mate had removed her underwear just because there was a bit of puke on them.
    If it was me I’d be horrified and ashamed at my behaviour but I’d also be alarmed my underwear had been removed.


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    #13
    The White Wolf
    Registered Users Posts: 5,157 ✭✭✭The White Wolf


    To be frank OP I think you have an amazing friend there and you just need to ensure she doesn't have to do that again for you in the future.


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    #14
    rapul
    Registered Users Posts: 1,038 ✭✭✭rapul


    That's irrelevant to the ops question and will only start an argument, this is directed at yellow leads post


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    #15
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    You guess in a way it’s your fault?
    Someone has responsibility issues.


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    #16
    punisher5112
    Registered Users Posts: 24,647 ✭✭✭✭punisher5112


    YellowLead wrote: »
    I wonder would you all think it was completely fine if it was a female posting and her male room mate had removed her underwear just because there was a bit of puke on them.
    If it was me I’d be horrified and ashamed at my behaviour but I’d also be alarmed my underwear had been removed.

    Well to be fair if no action other then cleaning up and dressing then I see no issues but then I suppose how close of a friend you are.

    My wife works as a carer and this is what she has to do anyway which I've no idea how her or others can.

    Amazing work they do and honest I think it's very insulting to them as a whole.

    Obviously I'm 100% against any wrong doing such as rape or such but I very much doubt she wanted to do anything other then clean up the vomit as I would really believe that would be a huge huge turn off anyway.

    Women want equality so no issues there but why does everything have to come down to male equal bad or must be a rapist.


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    #17
    FinnC
    Registered Users Posts: 577 ✭✭✭FinnC


    What would the reaction be if he was after undressing and re dressing his female roommate if the situation was reversed?


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    #18
    Dr Turk Turkelton
    Registered Users Posts: 2,906 ✭✭✭Dr Turk Turkelton


    Personally I would be thanking her profusely and buying her a box of chocolates and a bunch of flowers.
    If also be more worried about the out of control drinking that could lead to you dieing in a pool of your own vomit than a female roommate seeing your weiner.


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    #19
    punisher5112
    Registered Users Posts: 24,647 ✭✭✭✭punisher5112


    Dr Turk Turkelton wrote: »
    Personally I would be thanking her profusely and buying her a box of chocolates and a bunch of flowers.
    If also be more worried about the out of control drinking that could lead to you dieing in a pool of your own vomit than a female roommate seeing your weiner.


    Wow, snap I was just going to add exactly that, I'd be extremely thankful and highly embarrassed but I would definitely be doing something to thank.


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    #20
    YellowLead
    Registered Users Posts: 7,681 ✭✭✭YellowLead


    punisher5112 wrote: »

    Women want equality so no issues there but why does everything have to come down to male equal bad or must be a rapist.

    But that is my point. There should be no difference. But I can guarantee more people would be seeing is as inappropriate if the genders were reversed.

    This lady is a carer, but OP is not a person in her care. She did a lovely thing helping him but there was no need to remove his underwear - it’s obviously causing him a bit of worry and it was unnecessary. He wouldn’t have died due to damp underwear. I’m not saying she meant anything negative at all - but removing other peoples underwear when they are unconscious is just not something that should be seen as okay (unless they are your child/patient etc)


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    #21
    punisher5112
    Registered Users Posts: 24,647 ✭✭✭✭punisher5112


    YellowLead wrote: »
    But that is my point. There should be no difference. But I can guarantee more people would be seeing is as inappropriate if the genders were reversed.

    This lady is a carer, but OP is not a person in her care. She did a lovely thing helping him but there was no need to remove his underwear - it’s obviously causing him a bit of worry and it was unnecessary. He wouldn’t have died due to flea no underwear. I’m not saying she meant anything negative at all - but removing other peoples underwear when they are unconscious is just not something that should be seen as okay (unless they are your child/patient etc)

    Soaked in vomit, piss etc... I only see what she done was an absolute stand up job.

    Now if she was there taking selfies or sending dick pics etc that's a different story but none of us are there but op I do really mean it,thats a smashing friend to have.

    Suppose she could have thrown tracksuit bottoms on but she more than likely went autopilot on the job at hand.


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    #22
    Neyite
    Administrators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,947 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Neyite


    Mod:


    Going to close this while we take a look behind the scenes. OP, please get in touch with anyone on the mod team to discuss reopening. Thanks.


This discussion has been closed.
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