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could you handle a polyamory relationship

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  • 11-11-2018 10:05pm
    #1
    Specialun
    Registered Users Posts: 3,068 ✭✭✭


    watching the new louis theroux doc from last week on polyamory.

    well. could you handle your mrs or fella being banged by someone else on a regular basis , sometimes when you’re upstairs or downstairs

    dont think i get it tbh


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    #2
    Outlaw Pete
    Registered Users Posts: 10,423 ✭✭✭✭Outlaw Pete


    Polly who? Never heard of her, is she cute?


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    #3
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Have not heard of that documentary. DO you have a link or something to where it is?

    We have been in such a relationship for over 11 years now - and it has not harmed us yet :) In fact we are currently gestating our third child and really happy about it.


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    #4
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    What channel?


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    #5
    Commanchie
    Registered Users Posts: 548 ✭✭✭Commanchie


    If someone looks at my misses im Jealous. Polyamory would lead to a murder charge.


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    #6
    Snickers Man
    Registered Users Posts: 5,301 ✭✭✭Snickers Man


    "Polyamory? Isn't that what we used to call "shagging around"?

    The reaction of a hard-bitten features editor, apparently, to an eager young journalist who wanted to write an in-depth article of this crucial facet of today's zeitgeist.

    Well, isn't it?


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    #7
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Snickers Man wrote: »
    "Polyamory? Isn't that what we used to call "shagging around"?

    That is more "swinging" or "open relationship" I think. Where partners come and go - one night stands - and so forth.

    Polyamory is more long term and fixed. As one link on google says "Polyamory means having multiple romantic relationships at the same time, with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved. An open relationship is a relationship where the parties are free to take new partners"


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    #8
    Commanchie
    Registered Users Posts: 548 ✭✭✭Commanchie


    Reading this thread really just brings back the amber rose interview.

    Amber: well if going on dates with men makes me a slut I suppose im a slut.

    Jess L-P: i dont think its the dating that makes you a slut more so having sex with multiple guys.

    Amber: well what would that make you.

    Jess L-P: a slut maker

    Hahahaha


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    #9
    Specialun
    Registered Users Posts: 3,068 ✭✭✭Specialun


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Have not heard of that documentary. DO you have a link or something to where it is?

    We have been in such a relationship for over 11 years now - and it has not harmed us yet :) In fact we are currently gestating our third child and really happy about it.


    go on give us more info.

    it was on bbclast week. dont have a link sorry. recorded it.


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    #10
    Try_harder
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,681 ✭✭✭Try_harder


    What's the story with Polyamory?


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    #11
    Commanchie
    Registered Users Posts: 548 ✭✭✭Commanchie


    Try_harder wrote: »
    What's the story with Polyamory?

    You can bang around.


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    #12
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Specialun wrote: »
    go on give us more info.

    it was on bbclast week. dont have a link sorry. recorded it.

    Not much info to give that I have not given multiple times on the forum before. I am 11ish years as the M in an MFF relationship now.

    The girls titled it a "Truple". And except for it being 3 people and not 2 - we are pretty much the same as a "couple" in every other way. Pretty much all the same rules and expectations and dynamics you would expect of a couple.

    As you can see from the posts just above mine however - there is a misconception that it is the same thing as an open relationship or sleeping around. That is something else though - not what we do and not - I think - what the word polyamory means.

    If anyone has a link to it that would be nice - always interested to follow the current thinking on it for obvious reasons. Or if you can Drop Box it and share a link with me or whatever.


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    #13
    Try_harder
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,681 ✭✭✭Try_harder


    Commanchie wrote: »
    You can bang around.
    Wouldn't you like to know?


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    #14
    dartboardio
    Registered Users Posts: 2,436 ✭✭✭dartboardio


    Not a chance. And I view it as ‘not in a relationship’ if someone told me they were in an open relationship. I’d class it as ‘having open relations’ nothing relationshippy at all about that


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    #15
    JustAYoungLad
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 206 ✭✭JustAYoungLad


    Try_harder wrote: »
    What's the story with Polyamory?

    Being married/committed but free to bang who you please.

    Swingers/cuckoldry are alt terms for it


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    #16
    RasmusHax
    Registered Users Posts: 11 ✭RasmusHax


    I'm waaaay to jealous for that...


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    #17
    Try_harder
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,681 ✭✭✭Try_harder


    JustAYoungLad wrote: »
    Being married/committed but free to bang who you please.

    Swingers/cuckoldry are alt terms for it


    /i was going for the Balamory tune lol


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    #18
    Dalomanakora
    Closed Accounts Posts: 608 ✭✭✭Dalomanakora


    Nah, not for me. Each to their own though, if poly relationships suit some people then good for them


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    #19
    Specialun
    Registered Users Posts: 3,068 ✭✭✭Specialun


    Deleted User wrote: »
    Not much info to give that I have not given multiple times on the forum before. I am 11ish years as the M in an MFF relationship now.

    The girls titled it a "Truple". And except for it being 3 people and not 2 - we are pretty much the same as a "couple" in every other way. Pretty much all the same rules and expectations and dynamics you would expect of a couple.

    As you can see from the posts just above mine however - there is a misconception that it is the same thing as an open relationship or sleeping around. That is something else though - not what we do and not - I think - what the word polyamory means.

    If anyone has a link to it that would be nice - always interested to follow the current thinking on it for obvious reasons. Or if you can Drop Box it and share a link with me or whatever.

    google louis theroux altered states and id say you could find a stream


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    #20
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Specialun wrote: »
    google louis theroux altered states and id say you could find a stream

    Ok will do. Derren Brown who I quite like just released a new thing on Netflix - and also did a 2 hour Joe Rogan - so I am going to be focused on that for this evening. House party here last night was pretty wild so think a bit of calming Derren is about all I am good for tonight. So I will check for your idea tomorrow I think unless someone else has sent a link before then :)


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    #21
    Omackeral
    Registered Users Posts: 32,956 ✭✭✭✭Omackeral


    Specialun wrote: »
    could you handle your mrs or fella being banged by someone else on a regular basis , sometimes when you’re upstairs

    Absolutely no way. How could you even consider it. Jesus.
    Specialun wrote: »
    or downstairs

    Well, when you put it like that...


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    #22
    Day Lewin
    Registered Users Posts: 4,609 ✭✭✭Day Lewin


    People that ARE polyamorous are bored and frustrated by idiots thinking it is the same as swinging or screwing around.
    It's not. It's an orientation.

    I've known a number of polyamorous groupings, and they are all unanimous in saying, it takes a lot of work and attention, everyone's needs must be met, it doesn't work for the "jealous" and nobody owns anyone. All that is owed is honesty.

    That being said, I have noticed that such clusters often have quite a short shelf-life.
    (Mind you, so do many conventional marriages)

    Look it up. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyamory


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    #23
    touts
    Registered Users Posts: 6,437 ✭✭✭touts


    It wouldn't be for me. One person at a time is enough to keep me happy and keeping one person happy at a time is hard enough for me. But if someone else wants something different fair play to them. I wouldn't want them to force their lifestyle choices on me and I shouldn't force mine on them.


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    #24
    Lillybloom
    Site Banned Posts: 75 ✭✭Lillybloom


    Omackeral wrote: »
    Absolutely no way. How could you even consider it. Jesus.



    Well, when you put it like that...

    Why would you not consider it? Why is it such a problem if someone else has sex with your significant other?


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    #25
    Commanchie
    Registered Users Posts: 548 ✭✭✭Commanchie


    Lillybloom wrote: »
    Why would you not consider it? Why is it such a problem if someone else has sex with your significant other?

    Ah come on like


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    #26
    Lillybloom
    Site Banned Posts: 75 ✭✭Lillybloom


    Commanchie wrote: »
    Ah come on like

    What is the actual problem? I think the problem most people have is their precious little ego, they don't truly love themselves, they treat their partner as a possesion to enhance their ego.


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    #27
    orourkeda1977
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,628 ✭✭✭orourkeda1977


    Isnt that a new name for "having multiple affairs"


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    #28
    Lillybloom
    Site Banned Posts: 75 ✭✭Lillybloom


    orourkeda1977 wrote: »
    Isnt that a new name for "having multiple affairs"

    An affair is a breach of trust, if you agree to have sex with other people you are not breaching trust if you have sex with someone else. If you do in fact love someone, why would you want to repress their desire to have sex with other people?


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    #29
    Dalomanakora
    Closed Accounts Posts: 608 ✭✭✭Dalomanakora


    Lillybloom wrote: »
    What is the actual problem? I think the problem most people have is their precious little ego, they don't truly love themselves, they treat their partner as a possesion to enhance their ego.

    Or maybe they just are more comfortable with the idea of fidelity.


    There's nothing wrong with polyamory, but there's absolutely nothing wrong with monogamy either.


    Insulting people just because they don't share your view on it is silly.

    It's nothing to do with ego. It's about intimacy and that feeling of knowing your partner in ways others don't.


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    #30
    eviltwin
    Registered Users Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    Lillybloom wrote: »
    What is the actual problem? I think the problem most people have is their precious little ego, they don't truly love themselves, they treat their partner as a possesion to enhance their ego.

    My marriage is based on many things one being that we don't sleep with other people. I've no issue if it works for other couples but it's not for us. Sleeping with someone else would involve deception and neither of us want to be.with someone who can be duplicitous. Our family, our kids security, our unit is more important than a fumble with a randomer.


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    #31
    Lillybloom
    Site Banned Posts: 75 ✭✭Lillybloom


    Dalomanakora wrote: »
    Or maybe they just are more comfortable with the idea of fidelity.


    There's nothing wrong with polyamory, but there's absolutely nothing wrong with monogamy either.


    Insulting people just because they don't share your view on it is silly.

    It's nothing to do with ego. It's about intimacy and that feeling of knowing your partner in ways others don't.

    Why do you need to know your partner better than anyone else? Do you get jealous if their sibling knows them just as well as you?

    You say things like intimacy abd fidelity, but really I think those words are a cover up for the real reason, you want to protect your ego.


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