Terminally ill mum leaving hospice worried about her care now

Baby01032012 · 16-10-2019 6:28pm #1

Hi all,

My mum was diagnosed with terminal breast cancer that had spread...and was given 4-6 months...that was 2 months ago in hospital...she had need oxygen..had fluid around her lungs which was removed but had come back...her main issue recently was not able to eat and is on a liquid diet...hospital wanted to send her home so we applied for respite care for her and hospice was an option so she went there this Monday from hospital...today hospice social worker rings me as they want to send her home by early next week.

I thought I had bought her a bit of time with hospice care. She has been approved for 1.5 hour of home help a day...however she will be alone other than that as she lives on her own...she has no other family in Dublin. Im her only direct family. Im under pressure with work, kids etc...and ill be in UK for a bit in a couple of weeks. I'm really worried about her being at home on her own. She will have someone come in for hour to get her up and .5 hour to put her to bed...but she will have to cook and generally look after herself most of the day. She's 84 very weak after 2 months in hospital terminally ill and not eating...Im against hospice sending her home....is there anything I can do?

longgonesilver · 16-10-2019 6:31pm

Sorry to hear about your mother.
Is the hospice offering any form of further support.?

Baby01032012 · 16-10-2019 6:39pm

Thanks longgonesilver.

No..they say as she has home help that should be enough for now. If she needs to be readmitted they will do that. I don't want to have to wait until something happens to her at home for her to be readmitted. Dietician in hospital was concerned. At home with no one to prepare food or check she's eating she will go down hill...even the supplements she finds difficult to take. They gave her a week of radiation just before she left hospital to try clear tumour that was now in her food canal to give her chance at eating but she has no appetite.

Tom Mann Centuria · 16-10-2019 7:12pm

I think the number is one thing is giving your mum a shot at what she wants, with whatever time is left, If your mum wants to go home, maybe give her a chance at home, sometimes an appetite improves a bit in familiar surroundings, but it might be she doesn't eat much as her illness progresses, but I wouldn't be shy about bringing her back to GP or hospital if she's not coping.

I'd hope she'd had an OT and Physio assessment during her hospitalisation, does she have/need a hospital bed at home, is she still able to deal with toileting herself, is there a palliative home care team arranged, is the public health nurse for your area aware of the plan, would private carers be an option, or nursing home if your mum doesn't object, have you spoken with your mum's GP about things?

Sorry, posed more questions than answers but wish you and your mum the best.

looksee · 16-10-2019 7:15pm

It seems a bit odd for the hospice to accept her then throw her out. Can you get her gp involved? Otherwise is there any possibility of a nursing home? Sending her home does not seem like a very satisfactory arrangement.

Strumms · 16-10-2019 7:18pm

I’d advise you making an appointment to see her GP, relate to them everything you have related to us here. They will have first hand expert knowledge as to what are the options in this scenario. 1.5 hours home help doesn’t sound very adequate on what you are telling us..

Terminally ill mum leaving hospice worried about her care now

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