Area where men face sexism: Looking for accommodation

timsnewbridge · 03-11-2015 7:01pm #1

I've been searching for an apartment in the city centre for the past two months.
I've had no luck so far. One of the things that's been increasingly p***ing me off
is the amount of ads with "females only" or in some cases "preferably female"...preferably? nice to know I'm not preferred.
This is just not on. I mean essentially it boils down to three things:

1. The landlord is a creep.

"Two rooms available in home. Please get in touch, Derek.... females only."
Yea, we're onto you, Derek.

2. The landlord is just a blatant sexist and thinks men are smelly, unclean and hostile
when compared to their female counterparts. There really is nothing to say to this. It's sexism.

3. This one is forgiven: it's a girl looking for a roomate in a double room. Fair enough.

Of the last ten ads I checked on a college noticeboard at least half had this caveat.

Landlords: stop being perverted and/or sexist. Thanks.

Little CuChulainn · 03-11-2015 7:03pm

Have you not heard? All men are rapists who can barely control their urges.

OneOfThem · 03-11-2015 7:08pm

Just communicate by text and email, and say you're female. Then when you show up with your big man head on ye, and they are all like "ehh... You're a dude, dude. It said females only". Be all up in thier sh1t like, "Hey hold it right there! I self-identify as female, and that makes me just as much a female as any of these skanks. Hate crime! Hate criiiiimmmmeee!"

Trangenderism is very on trend right now. They'll snap you up.

Menas · 03-11-2015 7:39pm

timsnewbridge wrote: »

Of the last ten ads I checked on a college noticeboard at least half had this caveat.

Did the other half specify males only?!!

FTA69 · 03-11-2015 7:43pm

I applied for a female only house when I moved back to Ireland for college as it was reasonably priced and looked very nice. The landlady heard me out, let me the room and we were all happy out. I started going out with one of the girls which lasted for five years. Funnily enough, I was the cleanest out of the lot of them and because I was boxing I was never drinking or having mad parties in the gaff.

Moral of the story - assumptions based on gender are often a load of cod.

One eyed Jack · 03-11-2015 7:47pm

timsnewbridge wrote: »

Landlords: stop being perverted and/or sexist. Thanks.

I dunno man, tbh I'd appreciate knowing the landlord is a sexist pervert beforehand so I could avoid the place, rather than find out after I'd moved in, but that's just me...

"Psycho" shower scene music in my head now :pac:

My name is URL · 03-11-2015 7:54pm

timsnewbridge wrote: »

2. The landlord is just a blatant sexist and thinks men are smelly, unclean and hostile

Maybe he thinks they're more likely to be those things

And he probably wouldn't be wrong to hold that belief either

Billy86 · 03-11-2015 7:57pm

My name is URL wrote: »

Maybe he thinks they're more likely to be those things

And he probably wouldn't be wrong to hold that belief either

Actually every landlord I've had says the exact opposite about the cleanliness part, and if you've ever stayed in the likes of a backpacker hostel you should ask the staff which is worse to clean... the girls rooms or the guys. :pac:

Fr_Dougal · 03-11-2015 7:58pm

My name is URL wrote: »

Maybe he thinks they're more likely to be those things

And he probably wouldn't be wrong to hold that belief either

Have you ever shared with females?! The dirty ones are far worse than any male I've ever shared with.

bee06 · 03-11-2015 8:00pm

I'm a landlord and have two sets of tenants since I started, all men. So I'm not sexism. I'm am however, incredibly racist to make up for it!

DivingDuck · 03-11-2015 8:03pm

Lots of girls don't want to share with a guys. Not necessarily in a double room, but just in general.

I doubt it has anything to do with being perceived as "filthy" and more with the girl wanting to be able to go up to the kitchen/living room in her nightie or underwear without someone checking her out, or feeling uncomfortable about leaving "feminine hygiene products" in bathrooms, etc. Some are hoping for a friend they can share clothes/shoes with. Some are just shy around men in general.

All of these are fine. If it's something the landlord is imposing because of preconceived notions of male cleanliness, that's not on. If it's the other person who is going to be living there, it makes perfect sense. Assuming you were able to secure accommodation with someone felt unable (for legal or other reasons) to be upfront about their gender preference and ended up taking you on as a result, how pleasant to you imagine that living environment would be?

Some girls are don't want to live with guys. That's their choice. Why would you want to live with someone who felt uneasy in your presence?

discus · 03-11-2015 8:06pm

DivingDuck wrote: »

Lots of girls don't want to share with a guys. Not necessarily in a double room, but just in general.

Cool. Let's change that to a pub. What if there are men who want to drink in the company of other men, and don't like the presence of women there?

Double standards please, and a splash coke.

BigManBigVan · 03-11-2015 8:09pm

DivingDuck wrote: »

Why would you want to live with someone who felt uneasy in your presence?

Because I want to fcuk them...

*I'll get my coat

DareGod · 03-11-2015 8:11pm

timsnewbridge wrote: »

I've been searching for an apartment in the city centre for the past two months.
I've had no luck so far. One of the things that's been increasingly p***ing me off
is the amount of ads with "females only" or in some cases "preferably female"...preferably? nice to know I'm not preferred.
This is just not on. I mean essentially it boils down to three things:

1. The landlord is a creep.

"Two rooms available in home. Please get in touch, Derek.... females only."
Yea, we're onto you, Derek.

2. The landlord is just a blatant sexist and thinks men are smelly, unclean and hostile
when compared to their female counterparts. There really is nothing to say to this. It's sexism.

3. This one is forgiven: it's a girl looking for a roomate in a double room. Fair enough.

Of the last ten ads I checked on a college noticeboard at least half had this caveat.

Landlords: stop being perverted and/or sexist. Thanks.

In my experience, it is always women/girls who have "Females Only" on their ads. I've never seen a guy have it on an ad - have you? Any examples?

My name is URL · 03-11-2015 8:15pm

Fr_Dougal wrote: »

Have you ever shared with females?! The dirty ones are far worse than any male I've ever shared with.

I've shared with both and don't disagree that girls can be filthy when it comes to cleanliness, but I'd definitely say that young men would be far more likely to cause actual damage to a property either deliberately or through horseplay

It's a sad truth but if I had a house to let I'd generally prefer a group of females in it than a group of males.

DivingDuck · 03-11-2015 8:26pm

discus wrote: »

Cool. Let's change that to a pub. What if there are men who want to drink in the company of other men, and don't like the presence of women there?

Double standards please, and a splash coke.

A public house is, as the name suggests, a public convenience which anyone must always have the right use. (Though aren't there still male-only golf clubs? I don't play golf, so I wouldn't know. Gentlemen's Clubs? In the UK almost certainly, if not here.)

A private residence, even when being rented, remains private property. It's someone's home, their respite from the world.

Why would you want to share that kind of private space with someone who would prefer you were someone else? Surely if that's what you're after, it's marriage you want, not a flatshare...

Cuban Pete · 03-11-2015 8:26pm

discus wrote: »

Cool. Let's change that to a pub. What if there are men who want to drink in the company of other men, and don't like the presence of women there?

Double standards please, and a splash coke.

How can it be a double standard when it's a completely different situation?

Figbiscuithead · 03-11-2015 8:38pm

discus wrote: »

Cool. Let's change that to a pub. What if there are men who want to drink in the company of other men, and don't like the presence of women there?

Double standards please, and a splash coke.

Well they're entitled to those preferences but it's against the law. There are bars where men predominantly frequent, so I suppose they go there. Obviously if a woman walks in, by law they can't stop them. People have an idea of the kind of housemate they want be it a specific gender, sexual orientation, physical appearance and they "discriminate" when choosing but in this case, they've advertised those preferences. The difference between a bar and a privately-owed flat is the landlord of the latter is more likely to get away with it - nobody reports this occurrence because in my experience, men don't kick up the fuss women do so they'll continue to get away it. It's an easy to complain as start a thread about it on Boards, though I have no idea who you'd complain to or if it's even illegal.

Just to give an example, there was an ad on an expat website today in the country I live in from a man looking for a female secretary and "only good-looking women need to apply". Immediately the ad was reported and it was taken down. If it annoys you, you have to complain or they'll continue to get away with it.

Edit: You could look at it this way: they're saving you time - even if they don't put it in the ad, if they have a preference for a female housemate, they won't pick you anyway.

My name is URL · 03-11-2015 8:39pm

DivingDuck wrote: »

A public house is, as the name suggests, a public convenience which anyone must always have the right use.

lol... that's not what the name suggests at all.

It only refers to the premises having a licence to sell alcohol to the public

Azalea · 03-11-2015 8:46pm

Little CuChulainn wrote: »

Have you not heard? All men are rapists who can barely control their urges.

No I haven't heard that - from anyone who is worth acknowledging anyway.

I've seen "males only" house-share ads. Doesn't bother me - they presumably just want to hang out at home day to day with lads, and that's fine in my opinion.

I knew of a landlord who wouldn't let to guys because one group of guys had trashed his house. Thought that was bad form - one group of guys meaning all guys will mess up your home.

Robsweezie · 03-11-2015 8:47pm

timsnewbridge wrote: »

I've been searching for an apartment in the city centre for the past two months.
I've had no luck so far. One of the things that's been increasingly p***ing me off
is the amount of ads with "females only" or in some cases "preferably female"...preferably? nice to know I'm not preferred.
This is just not on. I mean essentially it boils down to three things:

1. The landlord is a creep.

"Two rooms available in home. Please get in touch, Derek.... females only."
Yea, we're onto you, Derek.

2. The landlord is just a blatant sexist and thinks men are smelly, unclean and hostile
when compared to their female counterparts. There really is nothing to say to this. It's sexism.

3. This one is forgiven: it's a girl looking for a roomate in a double room. Fair enough.

Of the last ten ads I checked on a college noticeboard at least half had this caveat.

Landlords: stop being perverted and/or sexist. Thanks.

indeed
http://www.sundayworld.com/news/crimedesk/sleazy-dublin-landlord-offering-cheap-room-for-sexual-favours

biko · 03-11-2015 8:48pm

Men, a bad minority brings problems for the good majority.
Or was it the other way around?

Banjo String · 03-11-2015 8:55pm

Fr_Dougal wrote: »

Have you ever shared with females?! The dirty ones are far worse than any male I've ever shared with.

Yes, I had to share a room with a girl from Dundee for almost six weeks in Sydney before. She really was the most untidy person I've ever had the misfortune of cohabiting with in my life.

She was clean herself I suppose, but her dirty clothes (including the undies) were all around the room all the time, and I always knew when it was her time off the month (used to leave the sanitary towels lying around) not dirty ones just to be clear!

Dirty dishes, unmade beds, shoes everywhere, .etc etc.

She was dead sound though, in fairness, used to roll me the odd joint, and used to change in front of me in the mornings and evenings after her work.

You'd be surprised how quickly you'd forget about someone else's mess when your stoned out of your box and looking at two nice ta-ta's bouncing freely.

RDM_83 again · 03-11-2015 9:03pm

Azalea wrote: »

No I haven't heard that - from anyone who is worth acknowledging anyway.

I've seen "males only" house-share ads. Doesn't bother me - they presumably just want to hang out at home day to day with lads, and that's fine in my opinion.

I knew of a landlord who wouldn't let to guys because one group of guys had trashed his house. Thought that was bad form - one group of guys meaning all guys will mess up your home.

This form of exclusion operates vastly more one way than another though.

Take a room in dublin between 450 and 650.
Total number of results on Daft is 187.

If your a woman there is 173 flats available, meaning 14 places exclude you.
Thats 7.5% of places.

If your a man there is 134 places available, meaning 53 places exclude you.
Thats 28.3% of places

Its easy to say its no big deal when it doesn't actually have any impact on you, imagine a quarter to a third of something excluded you because of your gender, I'd imagine you'd change your mind fairly quickly about it being a big deal or not.
Check your privilege (actually bad that I can use that in seriousness

)

cantdecide · 03-11-2015 9:10pm

My ex was outstandingly untidy. She had two floordrobes- the bedroom and the living room...

DivingDuck · 03-11-2015 9:12pm

Triatra wrote: »

A public house is a private business.

But they are prevented from discrimination just the same. Someone providing a service is different to someone looking for a person to share their home.

My name is URL wrote: »

lol... that's not what the name suggests at all.

I said "suggests", not "is derived from".

Figbiscuithead wrote: »

You could look at it this way: they're saving you time - even if they don't put it in the ad, if they have a preference for a female housemate, they won't pick you anyway.

Exactly. I'd rather save myself the bother-- and again, even if I did end up getting the room, I imagine the atmosphere would be horrible.

kowloon · 03-11-2015 9:32pm

bee06 wrote: »

I'm a landlord and have two sets of tenants since I started, all men. So I'm not sexism. I'm am however, incredibly racist to make up for it!

No blacks, no dogs, no Irish.

Billy86 · 03-11-2015 9:38pm

Figbiscuithead wrote: »

Well they're entitled to those preferences but it's against the law. There are bars where men predominantly frequent, so I suppose they go there. Obviously if a woman walks in, by law they can't stop them.

But if a man walks into an women's only gym... :pac:

Figbiscuithead · 03-11-2015 9:58pm

Billy86 wrote: »

But if a man walks into an women's only gym... :pac:

Well indeed. Does this bother you at all?

Up until very recently, women weren't allowed join Portmarnock Golf Club in Dublin as a member but are now after considerable pressure from predominantly female groups and a couple of court cases, the policy has been changed. As I said, women are better at kicking up a **** storm about this stuff, I think.

LeTickler · 03-11-2015 10:38pm

Land baron here.
Ive had one female stay in my place at the same time that i was there, and only becuse she was a friend of a friend. All other times ive sought/chosen males, not because im gay* and like the taste of penis** but because a female would be all awkward around me and do the whole 'youre a creepy man for merely being in my presence' thing and could make a false accusation if I had no witness (i only want 1 person sharing the gaff).

*im not.
** i do but only my own.

So it works both ways.

Canadel · 03-11-2015 10:45pm

Whatever about females only, daft and the other sites seriously need to start separating ads advertising a shared bedroom.

"Room available in great location" Oh that looks interesting! Clicks into ad..

"You will be sharing a room with a *insert nationality here* man" Go f**k yourself.

Sh1tbag OToole · 03-11-2015 10:57pm

LeTickler wrote: »

Land baron here.
Ive had one female stay in my place at the same time that i was there, and only becuse she was a friend of a friend. All other times ive sought/chosen males, not because im gay* and like the taste of penis** but because a female would be all awkward around me and do the whole 'youre a creepy man for merely being in my presence' thing and could make a false accusation if I had no witness (i only want 1 person sharing the gaff).

*im not.
** i do but only my own.

So it works both ways.

If they think you're a creep for being in their presence they'd want their head examined

03-11-2015 11:00pm

Canadel wrote: »

Whatever about females only, daft and the other sites seriously need to start separating ads advertising a shared bedroom.

"Room available in great location" Oh that looks interesting! Clicks into ad..

"You will be sharing a room with a *insert nationality here* man" Go f**k yourself.

And landlords advertising rooms as not being owner occupied when they are

LeTickler · 03-11-2015 11:01pm

Sh1tbag OToole wrote: »

If they think you're a creep for being in their presence they'd want their head examined

Id examine the tops of their heads alright.

From my spyhole.

jamesbere · 03-11-2015 11:50pm

Where I'm living is all lads but it's not advertised that way when a room comes free. Quite happy for a girl to move in if they seem ok.

But some ads on daft can be very misleading I remember viewing a couple before and it was owner occupied when the ad says it wasn't. I wouldn't ever live with a landlord.

Azalea · 04-11-2015 12:22am

RDM_83 again wrote: »

This form of exclusion operates vastly more one way than another though.

Take a room in dublin between 450 and 650.
Total number of results on Daft is 187.

If your a woman there is 173 flats available, meaning 14 places exclude you.
Thats 7.5% of places.

If your a man there is 134 places available, meaning 53 places exclude you.
Thats 28.3% of places

Its easy to say its no big deal when it doesn't actually have any impact on you, imagine a quarter to a third of something excluded you because of your gender, I'd imagine you'd change your mind fairly quickly about it being a big deal or not.
Check your privilege (actually bad that I can use that in seriousness )

Yeah that's quite the disparity. What I mean though is that the reasons for it aren't usually going to be "men are rapists!" - girls' house-shares can often be the girlie cliché, and it's felt men would simply not feel comfortable there. I've never heard any girl ever say "I'd never share with a man - he could be a rapist!"

Billy86 · 04-11-2015 12:52am

Figbiscuithead wrote: »

Well indeed. Does this bother you at all?

Up until very recently, women weren't allowed join Portmarnock Golf Club in Dublin as a member but are now after considerable pressure from predominantly female groups and a couple of court cases, the policy has been changed. As I said, women are better at kicking up a **** storm about this stuff, I think.

It actually very much did a while back when the only gym close to me was a Curves. I just think exclusion on either side is a bad thing - if a gym has a problem with leering male customers, ban them. Don't ban all men, because that is pretty much by definition, discrimination.

I do agree women are better at kicking off a fuss since they're used to having to do so over the last century or so, but at the same time I would still love to ask one of those who were pressuring Portmarnock (who's male only policy was wrong, in my opinion) what their opinion on Curves was.

Figbiscuithead · 04-11-2015 7:50am

Billy86 wrote: »

It actually very much did a while back when the only gym close to me was a Curves. I just think exclusion on either side is a bad thing - if a gym has a problem with leering male customers, ban them. Don't ban all men, because that is pretty much by definition, discrimination.

I do agree women are better at kicking off a fuss since they're used to having to do so over the last century or so, but at the same time I would still love to ask one of those who were pressuring Portmarnock (who's male only policy was wrong, in my opinion) what their opinion on Curves was.

I wonder. I wouldn't automatically assume they don't think it's unfair though.

I suppose most people are only going to complain about the things that affect them. I personally don't have an issue with one gender only places as long as it doesn't impinge on my life like it did for you when you were looking for a gym. I don't complain for the sake of it.

Bedeutung · 04-11-2015 9:06am

Billy86 wrote: »

It actually very much did a while back when the only gym close to me was a Curves. I just think exclusion on either side is a bad thing - if a gym has a problem with leering male customers, ban them. Don't ban all men, because that is pretty much by definition, discrimination.

I do agree women are better at kicking off a fuss since they're used to having to do so over the last century or so, but at the same time I would still love to ask one of those who were pressuring Portmarnock (who's male only policy was wrong, in my opinion) what their opinion on Curves was.

Hold on a minute, the same women who kicked up a fuss over a century ago aren't still alive to be kicking up a fuss now.

inforfun · 04-11-2015 10:01am

Sexist or not, meh.

I find it more disturbing that there is a need to share a room with a complete stranger.
I dont even want to share an apartment or house with a stranger.

SEPT 23 1989 · 04-11-2015 10:18am

inforfun wrote: »

Sexist or not, meh.

I find it more disturbing that there is a need to share a room with a complete stranger.
I dont even want to share an apartment or house with a stranger.

Is this how bad things have become where landlords are packing people into rooms tenement style

wakka12 · 04-11-2015 10:40am

Would these women share with a gay man? are they all just afraid he'll perv on them while theyre changing, because he's male, and she's female, is that it? really?

Sleepy · 04-11-2015 11:43am

Honestly, I've placed ads on Daft in the past for females only. We had a house-share that had been a mix of 3 guys and 2 girls since before I moved into it and it worked incredibly well for us so we wanted to keep that balance. Having women around stopped the atmosphere from becoming too much like a rugby club weekend away and we had a good influence on them in regards to keeping communal areas tidy (in all my time house-sharing I think I only ever met 2 girls who didn't use the floor as additional wardrobe space).

A couple of the girls commented that they'd found all-female house shares having a propensity to end up with a lot of in-fighting and bitching about each other whereas with a few lads in the house that didn't happen.

Plus we all got the benefit of getting introduced to each other's single friends.

Irishcrx · 04-11-2015 11:49am

I'll tell you one thing lads , I've lived in shared accomadation for almost 6 years before I bought my own house and I've lived with all sorts of differant people , nationalities.

In this generation , men are cleaner than women , at least most of the blokes I lived with were spotless and a lot of the girls were just lazy , messy and unorganised.

Also , the lads were better at cooking. Out of most of my friends male and female most of the girls would burn water and in comparison the lads are great cooks.

Times be changing , women soon be starving.

fizzypish · 04-11-2015 12:27pm

I lived with 2 guys and a girl in college. The lads told me that the girl had mentioned to them in conversation that she found me the creepiest. I was woefully appalled that I gave off this persona and was force to stop masturbating in the sitting room.

timsnewbridge · 04-11-2015 12:47pm

Sleepy wrote: »

Having women around stopped the atmosphere from becoming too much like a rugby club weekend away

Oh come on, men have a range of personalities, the balance you're looking for can be achieved without assuming particular attributes are inherent in one or the other sex. All you have to do is meet the potential tenant before making such a judgment. Five minutes with me, and indeed many other men, would have you realise we'd do nothing but subtract from such a 'rugby club' atmosphere. Shockingly, some men are peaceful, quiet, clean and don't party often. (I don't even like sport or drinking :eek:)

Sleepy wrote: »

Plus we all got the benefit of getting introduced to each other's single friends.

The real reason rears its head I see

Sleepy · 04-11-2015 1:15pm

timsnewbridge wrote: »

Oh come on, men have a range of personalities, the balance you're looking for can be achieved without assuming particular attributes are inherent in one or the other sex. All you have to do is meet the potential tenant before making such a judgment. Five minutes with me, and indeed many other men, would have you realise we'd do nothing but subtract from such a 'rugby club' atmosphere. Shockingly, some men are peaceful, quiet, clean and don't party often. (I don't even like sport or drinking :eek:)

I'm hardly a big sports fan myself, I'd watch the 6 Nations and the odd Connacht match but couldn't care less about football. I found that when houses were all male they tend to get a bit "frat house" and a little juvenille. Having women around tends to reduce that.

Of course it's entirely possible to find a house to share with four male strangers that won't act that way but I found it easier to play the odds when living away from home.

Once we had that balance in place, if one of the guys was moving, we'd place a uni-sex ad (as it'd have still left us balanced 60/40 either way) but if one of the girls moved out it would have left the remaining girl living with 4 guys and there aren't many women who are game for that.

The real reason rears its head I see

Hey, it worked both ways, one of my flatmates scored a few of my male friends and one of the lads actually ended up married to one of the other's cousins.

Area where men face sexism: Looking for accommodation

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