Developed body dysmorphia due to family's comments

You say that people have told you that you’re a good looking girl? Perhaps your family are jealous of you! Most people who would comment negatively on anyone’s looks are most likely very insecure themselves and love to deflect their hang ups on to others.

My family are like this too, all my life. Only thing is I actually was very overweight and didn’t look after myself. A few years ago I lost the weight but they still had something to say about me. Whether is was clothes, make up etc. I knew then that they were the problem and not me. Don’t let them get to you. You are well entitled to tell them to stop and that you don’t appreciate their comments.

Hi Op

if everyone who received negative comments or comments that bothered them from their family went on to have body dysmorphia then we would all have it. your title

Developed body dysmorphia due to family's comments

is simply not correct & to lay blame on your family is you simply apportioning blame where it is convenient and easy. Its a childish conclusion and it doesn't even scratch the surface of a more complicated reality.

Now if you had said i have body dysmorphia and my family's comments are making it worse and have probably been a factor in my developing this condition, then perhaps you would get some very good advice here, on strategies to address the family dynamic.

I apologise if this comes across as harsh. Do you see the difference in the 2 statements? I think you will probably have a bit of learning to do yourself - (and not only your family) to understand and overcome any conditions you develop.

One of them is learning to be more assertive. You should be able to discuss what makes you uncomfortable with your family, without fear of repercussions. You should be able to ask them can you refrain from doing 'X' as it make me unhappy, and in a healthy family dynamic most would at least consider that request, even if habits of a lifetime can be hard to break.

The fact you dont even think you can broach this subject makes me wonder what your not saying, the family dynamic may not be that healthy, or perhaps you need to be more communicative/assertive?

You don't say if youve been formally assessed & diagnoses for body dysmorphia or if this is self diagnoses?
Someone with body dysmorphia sees themselves very differently to how they actually are, its beyond feeling unattractive or insecure. People with body dysmorphia often have serious eating disorders or spend hundreds & thousands on plastic surgery and cosmetic procedures to 'fix' their perceived flaws.
The reason I point out the distinction is because, youre labelling yourself with a disorder that may be to extreme for what is actually going on. Once you start giving yourself extreme labels, its almost like setting a really negative goal where you let your insecurity grow to something unmanageable. Whether youre having issues with insecurities or something more serious is going on for you, only you can make that distinguishment.

If you do have body dysmorphia id really strongly suggest that you seek help from your GP right away. Id find a reliable online webpage that indicates all the signs & symptoms of BDD, print it off and tell your doctor how the symptoms relate to you.
If its a case of insecurity, speak to a counsellor so you can really hash through your feelings about this.

Speaking from my own experience, ive had friends & family comment on my appearance my entire life, I have brothers and have never witnessed them experience having their physical appearance critiqued and commented on. Throughout my life if I didnt look perfect I would get negative comments - my hair isnt a nice colour, my makeup isnt nice, its too dark or too pale, im putting on weight, im too skinny, if I had a spot on my face someone would comment. If I looked good id get comments about that. Growing up and learning that im judged on my appearance and it effects how people see me/speak to me/treat me, id be similar to you in that im preoccupied with how I look, more than I would like to be but have a fear of 'letting myself go' so to speak because im worried ill be negatively judged & disliked.
Theres a huge amount of pressure for women to look a certain away, if we're not getting bombarded with perfect images on social media & television, we're getting commented on and critiqued by family, friends & sometimes strangers.

My brother learned to comment on my looks from my parents who did it regularly, when we grew up my brother was constantly making negative remarks to me about my appearance. It got to the point that I had to distance myself from him for my own self esteem & anyone else who felt they had some right to pass comment on my appearance. I remember meeting a friend for coffee one time, she pinched the skin on my arms and lifted my elbows and commented that I was 'very skinny'. Eventually I realised she had to go to as I was insecure just at the thoughts of meeting up with her.

I know its much harder to distance yourself from family so its probably not an option here but I would suggest creating boundaries and sticking up for yourself when these comments are made against you. It can be as simple as telling them not to comment on your appearance, leaving the room when they say something, telling them exactly how you feel, that their comments are leaving you feeling very insecure and you'd appreciate if they stopped.
You'd be surprised how much your self esteem can increase just by setting boundaries.

Lit always disappoints me to find that there are people, family members, who think so little of their children/siblings that they would speak to them like you've described Op.

Its pathetic and sad behaviour from adults and needs to be called out.
I agree with others, there's no need to go in guns blazing just start by asking them to stop when they so comment so negatively.

It might be such a shock to them that you've stood up for yourself that they might realise what they are doing.

It might take a few times for the message to get through. Either way you don't deserve this treatment and I hope something positive happens soon.