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How do I stop being so tight with money?

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Comments

  • #52
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    also op the long weekends away do you pay or is is the company, is it travel for work?


  • #53
    bottlebrush
    Registered Users Posts: 8,195 ✭✭✭bottlebrush


    sebastopol wrote: »
    I disagree with people here. you sound miserly to me. making excuses i don't like any holiday/the family comment . did you get the 500 back. do you buy rounds in a pub. do you tip waiter if you go for meal. do you go for meal.? what do you do after work, do you get a drink to take home do you drink?

    the fact you have to ask how can you stop being as you are shows it must be a problem .

    I don't agree. not going on a holiday they don't desire to go on and not drinking is not an indication of being miserly.
    regarding the family comment it would be interesting to hear the context in which it was said. for all we know it could have been said out of begrudgery or jealously. if the op helped out a friend for four or five hundred euro it was kind thing to do whether he got it back or not. a miser would likely have not given it in the first place. and I have first hand experience of a tight miserly person in my circle, the OP wouldn't come anywhere near!


  • #54
    Mad_maxx
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,503 ✭✭✭✭Mad_maxx


    camel12 wrote: »
    Hello,

    I think by most measures I am well off. I earn 70k+ a year and have over 100k in savings.

    My problem is that I am a miser. I hate spending money on things that are overvalued. For example, I will not buy an iPhone for 800 euro. They are based on their name and not on the quality.

    Don't get me wrong, I sometimes spend big when it's good value...still with an element of miserness in there though. I was thinking of buying an audi but again thought against it due to the cost of the name, so I bought a Skoda instead.

    I despise paying 1.60 for a small bottle of coke when I can get a can for 30c in a multipack.

    How do I stop being so tight?

    Embrace it, thriftyness is a philosophy, it's about choosing not to buy things we do not need. It's a rare thing in Ireland admittedly


  • #55
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    sebastopol wrote: »
    I disagree with people here. you sound miserly to me. making excuses i don't like any holiday/the family comment . did you get the 500 back. do you buy rounds in a pub. do you tip waiter if you go for meal. do you go for meal.? what do you do after work, do you get a drink to take home do you drink?

    the fact you have to ask how can you stop being as you are shows it must be a problem .

    No I did not get the money back.

    In fact I can't remember if I gave 500 twice or whether it was just once. It was probably 4 years ago now.

    I buy rounds yes.

    I don't really go for sit down meals, not really me or my friends thing. Takeaways are my problem. I probably spend on average 15-20 a week on takeaways.

    I would tip in a sit down meal but I don't tip delivery drivers or barbers. I know some people do but I think you're paying for that service specifically anyways so I don't pay.

    I suppose my attitude towards money is like it is because I grew up poor and I work hard for my money.


  • #56
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    For example, I am single but if I ever decide to get married I do not want to spend several thousand on a ring. I think it's a huge waste of money for something that is a status symbol type thing. I wouldnt want to have a big wedding either costing loads...would rather go abroad, somewhere quiet and have a holiday at the same time.


  • #57
    JeffKenna
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,573 ✭✭✭JeffKenna


    whippet wrote: »
    My father in law is a millionaire ..

    Married well there...


  • #58
    Earthhorse
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,714 ✭✭✭✭Earthhorse


    camel12 wrote: »
    I don't really go for sit down meals, not really me or my friends thing. Takeaways are my problem. I probably spend on average 15-20 a week on takeaways.

    I would tip in a sit down meal but I don't tip delivery drivers or barbers. I know some people do but I think you're paying for that service specifically anyways so I don't pay.

    I suppose my attitude towards money is like it is because I grew up poor and I work hard for my money.

    Everyone works hard for their money, including delivery drivers and barbers.

    If you want to start somewhere, start there. Something small. Given you are spending 15-20 on takeaways a week (and assuming they're being delivered) then it's a service you value and make frequent use of.


  • #59
    Earthhorse
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,714 ✭✭✭✭Earthhorse


    camel12 wrote: »
    For example, I am single but if I ever decide to get married I do not want to spend several thousand on a ring. I think it's a huge waste of money for something that is a status symbol type thing. I wouldnt want to have a big wedding either costing loads...would rather go abroad, somewhere quiet and have a holiday at the same time.

    Lots of people feel the same. I think you are not very clear on what the word tight actually means.


  • #60
    sporina
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,945 ✭✭✭sporina


    i'm v confused... OP - do you know what a miser is? you don't sound like a miser to me... do you perhaps have a little low self esteem?


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  • #61
    waffleman
    Registered Users Posts: 580 ✭✭✭waffleman


    Do what you want - dont let anyone influence how you spend your money

    A lot of what other people call "being tight" I would call "not being a mug"

    Take a look at the stingey thread on here if you want to see some real tight misers


  • #62
    sporina
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,945 ✭✭✭sporina


    waffleman wrote: »
    Do what you want - dont let anyone influence how you spend your money

    A lot of what other people call "being tight" I would call "not being a mug"

    Take a look at the stingey thread on here if you want to see some real tight misers

    whats that?


  • #63
    MistyCheese
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,005 ✭✭✭MistyCheese


    vargoo wrote: »
    <snipped>


    Do you know the OP?


  • #64
    waffleman
    Registered Users Posts: 580 ✭✭✭waffleman


    sporina wrote: »
    whats that?

    https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055454434&page=


  • #65
    rob316
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,288 ✭✭✭✭rob316


    You just know the value of money OP much like myself, I don't have alot but I do treat myself and have modest savings.

    I have an uncle he is what I would consider rich, property developer and many millions in assets business and personal.

    He is generous to his family but so frugal himself, he drives a 10 year old a4, he comes over to his mother's house every morning to read the paper so he doesn't have to buy it, eats scraps of food, reuses envelopes, puts his Copper's in a jar on the counter. We take the piss out of him but he's just so used to having nothing growing up he doesn't feel the necessity to spend.


  • #66
    Ursus Horribilis
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,168 ✭✭✭Ursus Horribilis


    OP, I think you're going to have to ask one of the people who made the comments. All we can do is guess, based on what you tell us. You don't sound like a miser at all. Having said that, there's a possibility you are saying or doing things that make people think you're a tightwad. If you talk a lot about money and how things are a rip-off, you might be drawing a lot of attention to yourself. It could simply be down to your manner, as much as your spending habits.


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  • #67
    LoughNeagh2017
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,074 ✭✭✭LoughNeagh2017


    I used to be tight with money until I discovered American college girl cam girls, spend it whilst you have it is my motto as I won't exist in 50 years time..


  • #68
    LoughNeagh2017
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,074 ✭✭✭LoughNeagh2017


    Mystery Egg wrote: »
    You are in a very enviable position. I cannot ever imagine having 100k in savings.

    There's nothing wrong with being thrifty. Go for the multipack and the good deal if you want to.

    The real question is whether you are generous or not. You can afford to give charitably, to treat loved ones, to tip well. That is what defines tightness in my book, not being careful with the grocery spend and good with savings.

    In terms of enjoying your own life, as my sister in law would say, there are no pockets in the shroud (i.e. you can't take it with you when you die). Enjoy it now.

    Or as my mother says, "there's no tow bar on a hearse"


  • #69
    sporina
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,945 ✭✭✭sporina


    LoughNeagh2017 wrote: »
    Or as my mother says, "there's no tow bar on a hearse"

    or there are no shops in heaven (or hell, or where ever) lol


  • #70
    LoughNeagh2017
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,074 ✭✭✭LoughNeagh2017


    sporina wrote: »
    or there are no shops in heaven (or hell, or where ever) lol

    It has two meanings, one being that you should spend while you have it and the other being that possessions aren't important as you can't take them to the after life, I suppose the second one is a Christian viewpoint.


  • #71
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    you do sound a bit miserable tbh op (i mean in the weighing up of everything and its value). it would strike me as an attitude that could be a bit glum.

    can you give us an example of the things you take a bit of joy in at all? that youre happy to spend a bit on?

    you've referenced a few times not having people to go out with or whatever.... do you see a link there yourself or are they separate things?


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  • #72
    LirW
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,825 ✭✭✭LirW


    A good friend is like that: good job for his young age, saves every spare cent, budgets and does a lot of research on bigger purchases to get the best bang for his buck.
    That attitude led him to buying his own garden apartment in his dream area at the age of 25 without any financial help from family. While most of his peers are still in college.

    As long as it suits you, you're fine and pretty sensible.


  • #73
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,202 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    Op half the people are telling you its normal.

    In my experience people tend to be unrealistic about their spending habits. I mean by that they UNDERESTIMATE how much they spend.

    It could be people see you and think YEAH i spend like that. When in fact they are nowhere LIKE that. And they actually spend a lot more and are less spendthrifty than they would like to be. And so they really actually don't know what your spending would result in for real life circumstances.

    Only YOU know the real deal here. You have to have some common sense and just self identify it. Then either you are happy with it or not.

    If you are not you have two options.

    Just spend more.

    Or marry someone who spends more! :pac:

    Im kidding! don't do that.

    You could GIVE to charity though. Would you like to do that? Its putting the money to good use.


    What about 2 standing orders of a decent sum to two diff charities you like and find inspirational?

    Then a gift once a week to some random person.


    whippet wrote: »
    My father in law is a millionaire .. he does like some fine things in life .. but he drives a 12 year old car (nothing too fancy) as he would see changing it as unnecessary.

    He won’t fly business class as he sees no need, will never pay top rate for hotels .. will haggle and haggle until it becomes embarrassing.

    His house and furnishings are exquisite mind you .. as he lives there an it’s his private space.

    Frivolous spending does not go hand in hand with having money

    That's TIGHT! :pac:


  • #74
    sporina
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,945 ✭✭✭sporina


    LoughNeagh2017 wrote: »
    It has two meanings, one being that you should spend while you have it and the other being that possessions aren't important as you can't take them to the after life, I suppose the second one is a Christian viewpoint.

    what we mean by it is that you might as well enjoy your money while your alive (whether it be spending it on possessions or good times.. what ever... ) as no use having money when you die as you can't spend it then


  • #75
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Thanks for the replies.

    I think I am not tight in that case judging from the replies.

    I spend money on sporting events, go to football matches abroad, spent 13k on a car.


  • #76
    sporina
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,945 ✭✭✭sporina


    camel12 wrote: »
    Thanks for the replies.

    I think I am not tight in that case judging from the replies.

    I spend money on sporting events, go to football matches abroad, spent 13k on a car.

    so what has you thinking your tight? (apart from the odd comment from family members)

    a little low self esteem? no offence - just wondering..


  • #77
    Thelonious Monk
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,479 ✭✭✭✭Thelonious Monk


    I have a friend like this who has 100k in savings but it still absolutely kills him to spend money. He's 40 now and spent his whole life worrying about having enough money and not spending and he's miserable and alone. My friends and I don't take any sh*t from him when he's avoiding rounds etc and you have to call him out on everything. I don't think he'll ever be happy because he can't just relax as he's worried about money the whole time. It's no way to live. I have advised him to seek professional help but he wont go because of the price of therapists, lol. The only way out is probably years of therapy, which would cost a lot of money. Catch 22.


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