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Not happy with my own company anymore.

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  • 15-07-2019 2:46pm
    #1
    RobAMerc
    Registered Users Posts: 5,862 ✭✭✭


    Hi folks,

    Hope you guys can give me some insight into what might be going on for me.

    I should be in a very good place despite the fact I’ve had a very sh*tty start to 2019, losing my Dad and my job within 2 months of each other. It was tough but I’m really out the other side of that now.

    I often said to myself that what I needed was some adverse situation to make me get out of my comfortable life and do a few things, so I took it as a positive and tore into some things I had on the back burner, those are going well.

    But what I have found is I seem incapable of being on my own at all anymore. And not only that I seem to need to be with someone all the time and the wider the variety the better. I need constant interaction with someone and have started to become obsessed with txt’ing people or checking social media looking for something new all the time.

    Is this a symptom of my loss or am I just like everyone else now days and needing to be in constant.

    Thanks
    Rob


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    #2
    Tell me how
    Registered Users Posts: 21,520 ✭✭✭✭Tell me how


    Hi Rob,

    Have you tried or would you consider counselling to explore these issues?
    You have had a lot going on, aside from the bereavement and job loss, trying to do new things which are outside the norm for you can be a challenging space itself. Any of these on their own could lead to or contribute to mental anguish. A good counsellor can really help explore to the root of some feelings before we become too used to them and hence find it difficult to change.

    I have experienced struggling with my own company at times but it was related to periods when my depression was particularly difficult. If anything, I have become too comfortable in my own space by and large so am trying to push my boundaries in that area now.


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    #3
    vargoo
    Registered Users Posts: 737 ✭✭✭vargoo


    Age/married/kids?


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    #4
    JustAThought
    Registered Users Posts: 5,323 ✭✭✭JustAThought


    Dear OP Rob,

    I'm very sorry to gear of your Dad and your job. Id say its normal to not want to be alone with your thoughts after two such traumatic events so close togetger and the loss of the social conncetions and routines that go with both jobs and having someone close you can rely on and connect with.

    Life goes in cycles and you are now on an external social cycle -I wouldn't mind it at all and it may change or evolve in tge futire again. Take it easy and dont be judging yourself - we all heed a bit if human joy and connection from time to time - it dosn't make us monsters.


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    #5
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users Posts: 15,176 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    RobAMerc wrote: »
    Hi folks,

    Hope you guys can give me some insight into what might be going on for me.

    I should be in a very good place despite the fact I’ve had a very sh*tty start to 2019, losing my Dad and my job within 2 months of each other. It was tough but I’m really out the other side of that now.

    I often said to myself that what I needed was some adverse situation to make me get out of my comfortable life and do a few things, so I took it as a positive and tore into some things I had on the back burner, those are going well.

    But what I have found is I seem incapable of being on my own at all anymore. And not only that I seem to need to be with someone all the time and the wider the variety the better. I need constant interaction with someone and have started to become obsessed with txt’ing people or checking social media looking for something new all the time.

    Is this a symptom of my loss or am I just like everyone else now days and needing to be in constant.

    Thanks
    Rob
    Im really sorry.

    My godmother is like this. She gets really anxious on her own. It happened just after her sister died then I got seriously sick and it all made her really nervous to be on her own she would actually start to SHAKE like her hands would shake. I think it was half needing a distraction and half needing comfort from someone.

    It goes after a while naturally on its own. She gets it again sometimes if something stressful is happening.

    I think i am like this too right now.

    It is a part of the grieving process.

    Or it could be what Just a thought said like comes in cyles now is an external cycle etc. I hope its more that for you and me too. I like what just a thought said.

    You have been through a lot OP it would be odd and just off if your head wasn't spinning somewhat.


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    #6
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    The phone can be terribly addictive though too.. have you considered maybe trying to meditate a bit?


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    #7
    qwerty13
    Registered Users Posts: 1,272 ✭✭✭qwerty13


    You’ve had very recent major upheavals in your life, and my suggestion is that you have swept it under the carpet a little, by trying to turn it into a positive course of action, and haven’t just let yourself *be*, and deal with the emotional fall-out from your Dad.

    I think you could benefit from bereavement counselling.

    My view (with no qualifications!) is that you’re throwing yourself into action, and not dealing with what’s happened. And that this is popping up as a need to be around people


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