Hatred

bou wrote: »

Forgivness is the opposite of hatred.
Hatred is a negative emotion, a cause of future suffering. If you want to reduce future suffering, remove hatred. That's kind of what the Four Noble Truths says.

You hate someone because you see they have harmed you or might harm you in future. So there are different ways of looking at this.

One way is to see this other person as under the control of negative emotions which cause him to harm you. It isn't the person themselves that is the cause of harm. If the were truely wise, they would see that harming you would bring greater harm to themselves in future. In the Bodhycharyavatara, Shantideva says, if someone hits you with a stick, you don't get angry with the stick. Likewise the person harming you is like the stick while his negative emotions are the person weilding the stick.

So rather than hatred for one who harms, you could have compassion, seeing that they harm themselves more and this is all because they do not realise what they are doing. You can still try to avoid the harm but drop the hatred.

Another way of looking is to consider how we are impermenant, transitory, interdependant etc. We think we are this person, but that is not entirely correct. We grasp on to this idea of who we are and when harm comes, not only do we feel any physical pain but we heap on a load of extra emotional suffering that is based on the grasping to this identity. This causes us to lash out at the perceived enemy. We don't see that a lot of the perception of enemy is internally manufactured. We solidify the self and create the causes of future perceptions of solid self along with the negative emotions and negative actions that go with that. So the cycle contines.

So, if hatred itself is the real enemy, then whatever we can do to defeat this enemy inside is to our long term benefit. Forgiveness is letting go of the perceived external enemy. When we let go of the external object, then the negative emotion doesn't have a target and it dissolves.

Compassion is another aspect of that antidote to anger and hatred.

The Lojong (mind training) teachings in Tibetan Buddhism focus on these kind of ways of reversing our normal responses.

I'm sure there are plenty of other ways to analyse this and it can be explored in great depth.

bou wrote: »

Another thing I've been thinking in relation to this.

Anger and hatred often seem very big and solid. Unchangeable, almost.

But, when I'm aware of how I react to all the little things in life, I can see a lot of tiny moments of dissatisfaction, frustration, annoyance, envy, jealousy. And always, associated with those little sufferings is someone or something to be blamed. It could be someone I really don't like much, but more often it's people I'm close to or myself that are the target of blame. It's whoever my whim decides should be blamed. Often, I blame someone and then later see that it was myself that was the one 'at fault'.

Every day, lots and lots of tiny moments of frustration and irritation. And someone to be blamed. I guess a notion of enemy sometimes gathers together from lots of little thoughts, feelings, memories.

If I can untangle myself a bit from the little moments of projecting blame this way and that and try to be with the situation in a more open way, then I'm not adding to the ideas that make 'enemy' and give rise to hatred.

Maybe then, the big solid unchanging enemy will be less so. Maybe also, I can be a bit kinder to myself when things don't go as imagined.

A little less annoyance. A little more understanding.