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Finding an interest for a 9 year old

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  • 01-02-2021 9:28am
    #1
    mauraf
    Registered Users Posts: 191 ✭✭


    I am a bit concerned about my 9 year old son and his (lack) of interests.

    He is s bright enough child, popular in class and gets on well with boys and girls alike - wouldnt generally cause upset.
    During non-Covid times, he trains in football - but its a battle / bribe to get him to go, and he point blank refuses to play matches. He is in scouts too - but would pass out at the thoughts of sleeping over or going away for a night with them. He has done some hikes - but again, its a battle.

    I have tried him with a couple of other things - karate, sprinting etc - but everything he does he finds ' boring'. At home, he has some devices - but access to them is limited, although he would spend all day on them if he was let.

    I am worried about him now, in terms of his lack of interest in anything and how it will affect him in his teenage years. Or am I worrying unnecessarily? I ask him if there is anything he would like to try - and he says no.

    Anyone ever had this situation? or any ideas on what he might enjoy?

    Maura


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    #2
    dulpit
    Registered Users Posts: 10,382 ✭✭✭✭dulpit


    All of the things you've mentioned are physical activities. Maybe that's not his wheelhouse? You've mentioned he would use devices all time if he could, maybe try something like coder dojo or similar?


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    #3
    Nekarsulm
    Registered Users Posts: 11,191 ✭✭✭✭Nekarsulm


    Does he play chess?
    Might be worth teaching him the basics, see if it grips his imagination.


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    #4
    Wanderer78
    Registered Users Posts: 28,879 ✭✭✭✭Wanderer78


    dulpit wrote:
    All of the things you've mentioned are physical activities. Maybe that's not his wheelhouse? You've mentioned he would use devices all time if he could, maybe try something like coder dojo or similar?
    Nekarsulm wrote:
    Does he play chess? Might be worth teaching him the basics, see if it grips his imagination.

    Some very good points here, it's common for us to default to more physical activities, but we forget about stimulating the mind, sounds like you're doing a great job being mammy, best of luck


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    #5
    km991148
    Registered Users Posts: 4,275 ✭✭✭km991148


    dulpit wrote: »
    All of the things you've mentioned are physical activities. Maybe that's not his wheelhouse? You've mentioned he would use devices all time if he could, maybe try something like coder dojo or similar?

    Or something creative? Music? Arts? Make a YouTube video of his fav game tips or some other subject (need to write a basic script, pick sounds or music, record gameplay and put it all together. Start really basic, like 10 second video)?
    Whatever you try tho, finish it.. which can be difficult if you need to learn some skills too lol


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    #6
    The_Honeybadger
    Registered Users Posts: 4,155 ✭✭✭The_Honeybadger


    Could have written your post word for word mauraf. I’ve a ten year old lad, exact same, spent years bringing him to all sorts of sports like soccer, rugby and hurling when he had no interest, thought something would stick eventually but it didn’t, and it actually got worse to the point where it was upsetting him so we took him out. We live in a rural community and there is not a whole lot else if you are not in to sport, unless you want to spend your life in the car travelling to bigger towns for things like drama etc.

    He does like swimming, cycling, art and playing with his toys. Like yours, he would spend all day and all night on devices if allowed, a lot of kids are like that now. He has plenty of friends and is happy doing his own thing.

    I think society has created this myth that kids need to be involved in all sorts of sports and activities or you are doing something wrong.


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    #7
    shesty
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 6,894 Mod ✭✭✭✭shesty


    Ah here, to the last poster, swimming, cycling and art, I think you are doing fine.


    If you wanted something sporty to stand to him in teenage years and later life, consider maybe getting him into lifesaving - he can use it to get a good summer job or in the States on a J1 in college (if we ever get back to that life :rolleyes:).



    It doesn't have to be a team sport. I think we do tend to put kids in boxes a bit like that, especially boys. They don't play some sort of ball sport and the adults in their lives are all sitting there scratching their heads wondering what is wrong.



    I think i would try keeping the screens away/limited, and see what he tends to fall into playing by himself or with others (difficult these days - I understand that) and that might guide you a bit more too. You can't do it for him.


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    #8
    Cienciano
    Registered Users Posts: 14,232 ✭✭✭✭Cienciano


    Mine is exactly the same. 9 years old too. Reckon something constructive on a laptop might be the next thing, some sort of basic coding. I've no idea how to do it, but I'm sure there'll be resources somewhere.


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    #9
    Wanderer78
    Registered Users Posts: 28,879 ✭✭✭✭Wanderer78


    shesty wrote: »
    If you wanted something sporty to stand to him in teenage years and later life, consider maybe getting him into lifesaving - he can use it to get a good summer job or in the States on a J1 in college (if we ever get back to that life :rolleyes:).

    this was a critical one for me, im really glad my parents persisted with this one for me, as none of us knew i am autistic, and all that goes with that...
    Cienciano wrote: »
    Mine is exactly the same. 9 years old too. Reckon something constructive on a laptop might be the next thing, some sort of basic coding. I've no idea how to do it, but I'm sure there'll be resources somewhere.

    im sure theres plenty of resources on the internet including youtube


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    #10
    mauraf
    Registered Users Posts: 191 ✭✭mauraf


    Thank you all for your replies....some excellent advice above.

    He loves swimming - so lifesaving is definitely an option as he gets older. Also - has expressed an interest in chess - so another great idea. Coderdojo also an option.
    I think we have this inherent fear that our children will lack social skills / pals if they dont participate in team based sports - whereas they can be very happy just doing their own thing.

    Thank you all...


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    #11
    Nekarsulm
    Registered Users Posts: 11,191 ✭✭✭✭Nekarsulm


    There are a plethora of Chess websites, Chess.com probably the best known.
    Join up and he could play online with people all over the world, if that turned out to be his thing.


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    #12
    dulpit
    Registered Users Posts: 10,382 ✭✭✭✭dulpit


    One other thing on the social side. My nephew is big into playstation (possibly too much if you ask my sister). But the one good thing about it is that he joins chats with his friends from school, and they talk more there than they ever would in person or over the phone.

    I'm not saying that you should just allow your kids onto playstation for hours on end, but it should be noted that it isn't always a solitary thing either.


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    #13
    A2LUE42
    Registered Users Posts: 2,533 ✭✭✭A2LUE42


    You say he likes swimming, so would possibly like Kayaking, SUP or rowing or other water-based activities. Depending on what clubs/facilities are available locally.
    As an example, there is a very active social SUP group in the Limerick/East Clare area that are out a few nights a week and they do Adult+Child paddles, if ye wanted something ye could do together as part of a bigger group.
    You'd probably be better off doing something like an 'introduction to Kayaking' type course that clubs run in springtime to get people considering it a feel for the activity without needing to buy gear.


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    #14
    boardise
    Registered Users Posts: 3,406 ✭✭✭boardise


    How about Pitch & Putt -is there a course nearby ? A useful prelude to golf which is a great sport that can be played into one's 90s .

    Another try indoors might be Bridge -a stimulating challenging game played worldwide and lasts through all of life at any level from casual to competitive. After learning the basics - it can be played online for all categories of player.

    Is he empathetic to animals -maybe pony riding if there's a stable in the vicinity to get a taster ? How about birds -Birdwatch Ireland ?

    I like that he doesn't just blindly follow the crowd into the easy limited options -some evidence he has an independent cast of mind .

    Good luck with the search. Something will break eventually I'm sure.


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    #15
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Lifesaving was mentioned which is a great one. Would also reccommend the youth section of St. John Ambulance or Order of Malta. I joined as a teenager and honestly one of the best things I did. Great fun and you learn loads. They do overnight camps, competitions and fun events. It's not all about winning or exams like sport and music which really apealed.


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    #16
    witchgirl26
    Registered Users Posts: 2,080 ✭✭✭witchgirl26


    mauraf wrote: »
    I think we have this inherent fear that our children will lack social skills / pals if they dont participate in team based sports - whereas they can be very happy just doing their own thing.

    Just to comment on this bit - I didn't participate at all in team sports (or any sports to be honest) as a child & I have pretty good social skills and friends. Sometimes those things aren't for everyone. And if he's good at making friends normally in school, then it shouldn't be a major worry I would think.


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    #17
    the purple tin
    Registered Users Posts: 10,943 ✭✭✭✭the purple tin


    Baking maybe? Start with the pancakes today :)


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    #18
    ax530
    Registered Users Posts: 463 ✭✭ax530


    Good thread, my children similar. I've friends with teenagers who are sporty and they think if teens are not into sport (team sport mostly) it is very difficult to get them on a good path. They got really into sport at a young age 5/6 and have always been really competitive. They are also very good at school which she attributes to being very good at sport.
    Mine do lots sports & activities but no big interest and not at all competitive. They are bit sporty in that they like to try everything but no huge interest in doing it often or at higher level.
    I often think this will result in very difficult teenage years and make it more difficult to have friends


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    #19
    drake70
    Registered Users Posts: 656 ✭✭✭drake70


    A few have mentioned coding.

    https://www.freecodecamp.org/ is very good and is free.

    I have passed this onto a few friends with children (late primary/early secondary ages), as something to do during lockdown and most really liked it.

    Entry level : beginner

    If you progress it can lead to certification if you wish

    In addition:

    You will need to create an account to save your work. All work is carried out within your browser/on the site

    The best place for beginners to start is Responsive Web Design


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    #20
    s8n
    Registered Users Posts: 3,833 ✭✭✭s8n


    drake70 wrote: »
    A few have mentioned coding.

    https://www.freecodecamp.org/ is very good and is free.

    I have passed this onto a few friends with children (late primary/early secondary ages), as something to do during lockdown and most really liked it.

    Entry level : beginner

    If you progress it can lead to certification if you wish

    good suggestion, thanks


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    #21
    NutmegGirl
    Registered Users Posts: 118 ✭✭NutmegGirl


    Lego
    There’s so many sets out there at diff age/diff levels
    A good one to do on your own but also can get a friend involved
    I know it can be expensive and take up a lot of room if he wants to keep the built item intact though
    Think you can even get those kits that you put a motor in, robotics, so that would be an added interest
    Plenty of YouTube videos, Lego wars, those type of programmes


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    #22
    JPup
    Registered Users Posts: 913 ✭✭✭JPup


    Is he musical? You could try him with lessons in an instrument. Would need to practice every day so ideally one of the parents has an interest in it too.


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    #23
    SouthWesterly
    Registered Users Posts: 6,527 ✭✭✭SouthWesterly


    My 2 boys aren't into sports. For my eldest (10) he always loved the cubs which has folded with lockdowns

    I tried the ceoltas and an instrument which didn't work but dancing caught them both with my eldest happily stepping around the house. They've been able to do it online which tough not ideal has kept the interest going.


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