Help me puke Boardsies!

misstearheus · 10-03-2016 8:02am #1

People of Boards! Anyone have any half-pleasant half-decent suggestions to induce puking?!? Am so so SO sick right now, I'm lying here with 1 hand over my mouth doing my damnedest not to puke, interchanging with holding a tissue up to my mouth with the other hand, hyperventilating having panic attacks taking deep breaths into said tissue 'cos I'm so scared to vomit!!

The act of vomiting and retching/gagging / trying to vomit really really upsets me to the extreme extent of making me cry! I need to puke now and it might help me but I'm so very scared to! My back and sides are starting to hurt now, adding to cramps already there, probably from just being generally wracked with pain and also trying not to heave! What a sorry mess! Hating God right now! What did I ever do on him that was so wrong!

BLEURGGHHH. Feel so bleurghy. Have no Bucket or Basin here either. Gahhhhh. Need a Sick-bag. Waste-Paper-Basket may suffice. Will have to check what material it is made of!

I feel like I'm losing my mind! Screw you God!

I haven't done anything to deserve this!

;( Now my Gland and backs of Shoulders are starting to get sore too. I just got a horrendous sharp shooting stabbing pinch in the back of my right Shoulder there. And I'm starting to get Headachey and woozy and tired now too. Trying hard not to yawn in case it activates puking mode.

Oooohhh it's gonna be a long-ass helluva day!

a fat guy · 10-03-2016 8:05am

Go for a jog.

Bonus: you won't have to clean it up and people will think you're scum, so will not want to deal with you.

darkpagandeath · 10-03-2016 8:08am

pickarooney · 10-03-2016 8:12am

How the hell did you type that?

Liamario · 10-03-2016 8:18am

Fingers down the throat. Works every time.

Endaaaagh · 10-03-2016 8:20am

Get someone to punch you in the duodenum

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHulRDk__ko

punisher5112 · 10-03-2016 8:25am

Thanks op not only do you want to puke I just did reading your whole life story...

Canis Lupus · 10-03-2016 8:39am

Liamario wrote: »

Fingers down the throat. Works every time.

Toothbrush oddly enough is way better than fingers. #notbulimic

mad muffin · 10-03-2016 8:48am

If you could smell the turd I just plopped, you'd have no problem puking…

Keane2baMused · 10-03-2016 9:07am

Ask the chemist for an anti-emetic. Don't force yourself to get sick.

Annasopra · 10-03-2016 9:44am

If you're that sick what are you doing spending ages at a keyboard

deeosull · 10-03-2016 9:47am

Get pregnant, all day everyday puking. Miserable existence..

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 10-03-2016 9:58am

I needed to puke last night. Was on my hands and knees for ages, nothing. As soon as I stood up, bam puke everywhere. On myself, on the wall, on the floor.
In conclusion: stand up.

Captain Chaos · 10-03-2016 10:06am

If you have a swivel chair handy, sit on and keep spinning as fast as you can until you puke everywhere.

Toots · 10-03-2016 10:23am

Read "The Tale of Scrotey McBoogerballs" and the follow up novel "The Poop That Took A Pee"

whiskeyman · 10-03-2016 10:35am

Get a job as a garda and arrest someone who enjoys eating their own faeces.

You'll also get €35k richer!!

maudgonner · 10-03-2016 10:37am

Threesome with you, Michael Healy-Rae and Danny Healy-Rae. Picture that.

Badly Drunk Boy · 10-03-2016 10:50am

Keane2baMused wrote: »

Ask the chemist for an anti-emetic. Don't force yourself to get sick.

If she wants to get stuff out, she'd need an emetic, not an anti-emetic.

LexieOnRale wrote: »

I needed to puke last night. Was on my hands and knees for ages, nothing. As soon as I stood up, bam puke everywhere. On myself, on the wall, on the floor.
In conclusion: stand up.

Or do a few sit-ups before standing up. Get stuff moving in the stomach...

Keane2baMused · 10-03-2016 10:52am

Badly Drunk Boy wrote: »

If she wants to get stuff out, she'd need an emetic, not an anti-emetic.

Insightful.

The point is there are meds that can help you not need/want to get sick. No need to force it.

SuperGrover · 10-03-2016 10:53am

Thread title needs a comma.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k · 10-03-2016 10:59am

Keane2baMused wrote: »

Insightful.

The point is there are meds that can help you not need/want to get sick. No need to force it.

Isn't it better to get it out of your system?

flazio · 10-03-2016 11:03am

I really think you should seek proper medical advice from a GP or a pharmacist (good proper one not one of the chain gang)

Lights On · 10-03-2016 11:09am

Here OP, watch this video. If this doesn't work you have no hope.

Keane2baMused · 10-03-2016 11:26am

LexieOnRale wrote: »

Isn't it better to get it out of your system?

With erm..diarrhea yes. Vomiting it's not a necessity.

Mesrine65 · 10-03-2016 11:51am

Tequila cures all

10-03-2016 11:57am

If I remember rightly, Tug from Home and Away once downed a load of salt water that caused him to puke and got him out of an exam in school.

biko · 10-03-2016 12:05pm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujhImZbroIg

Cee-Jay-Cee · 10-03-2016 12:09pm

Toothbrush on the back of your tongue. You'll be throwing up like a good thing.

Liamario · 10-03-2016 1:21pm

Have you tried looking in the mirror?

endacl · 10-03-2016 1:25pm

The addition of a simple comma would make the thread title a whole lot less weird....

Or...

Exactly how many Boardsies have you eaten, OP?!? :eek:

josip · 10-03-2016 2:08pm

A glass of Dunnes Stores Vegetable Oil should do the trick

DEFTLEFTHAND · 10-03-2016 2:10pm

Put them up on your shoulder and pat their back.

maudgonner · 10-03-2016 2:12pm

SuperGrover wrote: »

Thread title needs a comma.

Ah now, "Help me, puke Boardsies" is just insulting.

daveyeh · 10-03-2016 2:12pm

Eat something disgusting. Raw eggs, rotten meat, ****e, etc.

fleet_admiral · 10-03-2016 2:59pm

Canis Lupus wrote: »

Toothbrush oddly enough is way better than fingers. #notbulimic

Bullimia makes me sick

cassid · 10-03-2016 11:07pm

I used to think of eating a mars bar and all that goo would send me retching.

Before I was ever pregnant vomiting was a big fear , but after 4 pregnancies, and the joys of daily morning sickness or vomiting. I have developed the reflex that allows me to vomit very easy. Three little retches and out it comes.

I hope by now you are feeling a little better.

MacauDragon · 11-03-2016 12:04am

salt and water.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jhm5up5NQwk

Annasopra · 11-03-2016 12:08am

Looked at this for a second

Thought it said

Help me nuke boardsies

bnt · 11-03-2016 1:46am

Warm water with as much salt as will dissolve in it. Had to do that about 10y ago, worked better than anyone's finger.

Potential-Monke · 11-03-2016 7:40am

Deleted User wrote: »

If I remember rightly, Tug from Home and Away once downed a load of salt water that caused him to puke and got him out of an exam in school.

bnt wrote: »

Warm water with as much salt as will dissolve in it. Had to do that about 10y ago, worked better than anyone's finger.

This, used to use it to get out of school every now and again, until i was caught one morning when the ma woke up earlier than me...

Help me puke Boardsies!

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