Neighbours - Footballs flying in all day

jacksn · 11-07-2019 11:11pm #1

Hi folks, I live in a terrace, myself my wife and our 2 yr old. We keep ourselves to ourselves and are quiet and friendly to our neighbours. There are low walls between our gardens. Recently the 3 sides of our garden now have large families moved in. They were all nice when they moved in and then the footballs started landing in the garden. I’d throw them back over, then they would come in at all angles and I didn’t know whose were whose so I left them there so I gave up and said the kids could collect themselves. Then they left the side gates open(on a busy road) so I blocked the side entrance with wheelie bins to stop my son running out. Now it’s non stop, footballs, rugby balls, tennis, sliothers all flying in all day.

I met the father of one of the neighbours who thanked me for letting the kids collect their things, I said it was ok and jokingly said he needs to put up a net so they decided to setup a soccer goal directly against my wall! And the kids jump over to collect every time they miss the goal (a lot) - the other side of their garden the neighbour has a lot of high hedges that would stop balls going over but they pick my side because they can jump over every time. It’s just getting annoying now, seeing kids jumping in and out all the time, I want to enjoy my garden in peace and let my kid runaround without worrying about getting hit with a ball and I don’t want to be “that neighbour” Any advice thanks.

listermint · 11-07-2019 11:15pm

Yep.

Don't buy a terrace house. This is what comes with living on top of each other.

Kids play. Yours will. Balls go astray your child's will too.

If you didn't anticipate low fences being an issue then I'm not sure what to say.

Dave_The_Sheep · 11-07-2019 11:18pm

Honest and open communication with your neighbour?

miezekatze · 11-07-2019 11:20pm

I wouldn't have allowed them to access your garden and would try and put a stop to that. The easier it is for them to get the ball back, the more often it will come over the wall. Can you put trellis or something on the wall to increase the height, and grow something up it? Or put hedges along the wall like the other neighbour did? Then just tell the neighbour that you've done some gardening and ask them not to come over anymore as it would damage the plants etc.

jellybear · 11-07-2019 11:21pm

Would you consider trellis and a few climbers/black bamboo/trees etc. particularly at the fence they use most? Other than that, speaking to the parents might be the only option but unfortunately it is often part of living in an estate. Leaving your side gate open however is a big no no to me and I'd be reiterating that to both the parents and the children involved.

jacksn · 11-07-2019 11:22pm

Dave_The_Sheep wrote: »

Honest and open communication with your neighbour?

It would have to be the 3 sides, 1 side is rented and families come in and out frequently. I said to my wife about walls or fencing which would suit all of them and we foot the bill of course they wouldn’t contribute.

jacksn · 11-07-2019 11:27pm

miezekatze wrote: »

I wouldn't have allowed them to access your garden and would try and put a stop to that. The easier it is for them to get the ball back, the more often it will come over the wall. Can you put trellis or something on the wall to increase the height, and grow something up it? Or put hedges along the wall like the other neighbour did? Then just tell the neighbour that you've done some gardening and ask them not to come over anymore as it would damage the plants etc.

Yeah at the start I didn’t give them any access but the kids were ringing the doorbell all the time to collect balls waking up my child so I told them to go around. I’d love to have fencing up but don’t see why I should pay the cost.

Brego888 · 11-07-2019 11:28pm

Difficult one. I was one of those kids 25 years ago booting balls about all day inevitably over fences into my neighbours garden. We still refer to the next door neighbour at my parents home as the grumpy b*stard due to the giving out he would do about us jumping over his fence to retrieve our balls. It got to the stage where he would hide them and we'd have to sneak in in the dead of night to get them back. My Dad and the neighbour had one or two heated agreements about it, him claiming we were wrecking his garden, my Dad claiming what harm they are only kids.

The thing is now id be more on the neighbours side of the argument! I'd be annoyed if any punk kids were wrecking my nice garden.
But you can't really win here, you're gonna come off bad unless you completely turn a blind eye which by the sounds of it you can't.

Maybe have a word with the dad and say you'd prefer if they didn't come into the garden due to safety issues (you have tools out or something) or you had some plants and your kids toys broken. Say you'll throw all the balls back the first chance you get. Kids are gonna be kids though it'll be hard to stop.

Other than that there not much you can do if you don't want to be referred to as the grumpy b*stard for the rest of your life.

miezekatze · 11-07-2019 11:29pm

jacksn wrote: »

Yeah at the start I didn’t give them any access but the kids were ringing the doorbell all the time to collect balls waking up my child so I told them to go around. I’d love to have fencing up but don’t see why I should pay the cost.

Trellis is cheap enough, unless your garden is huge it shouldn't cost much. I'm not sure there's much else you can do.

jacksn · 11-07-2019 11:34pm

Brego888 wrote: »

Difficult one. I was one of those kids 25 years ago booting balls about all day inevitably over fences into my neighbours garden. We still refer to the next door neighbour at my parents home as the grumpy b*stard due to the giving out he would do about us jumping over his fence to retrieve our balls. It got to the stage where he would hide them and we'd have to sneak in in the dead of night to get them back. My Dad and the neighbour had one or two heated agreements about it, him claiming we were wrecking his garden, my Dad claiming what harm they are only kids.

The thing is now id be more on the neighbours side of the argument! I'd be annoyed if any punk kids were wrecking my nice garden.
But you can't really win here, you're gonna come off bad unless you completely turn a blind eye which by the sounds of it you can't.

Maybe have a word with the dad and say you'd prefer if they didn't come into the garden due to safety issues (you have tools out or something) or you had some plants and your kids toys broken. Say you'll throw all the balls back the first chance you get. Kids are gonna be kids though it'll be hard to stop.

Other than that there not much you can do if you don't want to be referred to as the grumpy b*stard for the rest of your life.

Ha yeah I was the same meself when I was young and we still reminisce about those neighbours in our estate but you’d think that the dads would have some cop on and put up some fencing on their side or tell the kids to keep the ball low, I’d certainly be considerate if it was my kids flying over all the time to another neighbour, they just don’t seem to care and I’m going to be the bad guy.

The chan chan man · 12-07-2019 12:10am

Rottweiler

Car99 · 12-07-2019 12:35am

Kick anything that comes over into the next yard so they'll have to go around your neighbours to get the ball back.

JustAThought · 12-07-2019 12:58am

Car99 wrote: »

Kick anything that comes over into the next yard so they'll have to go around your neighbours to get the ball back.

Thats quite inspired but the kids will still ve yelling in and shouting and clambering over. Best approach in theory would be to talk to the parwnts but its astonishing how self entitled and selfish parents can be. Perhaps a combination would work - kids will clamber through shrubs and over low walls -Woodies have a trellis sale at the miment - 6 foot x 6 foot I think is e39. Put up the walls and then talk to the parents - say its all too much interruption and xonstantant xlimbing in and it is interrupting your privacy and enjoyment of the garden and uosetting your child. You shouldn't have to do it but oeople can be very selfish and self entitled. Some things are worth paying for.

On a not if the propertues are rented you could propose to the landlords that they share or absorb the costs and outline why - they will ve aware of the value of peace and that you could make a complaint about their tenants to the PRRB for noise or disruption compensation so.you might win on that.

Sorry to hear of your troubles

Graces7 · 12-07-2019 6:03am

I once said no when they wanted to collect the ball. Worked perfectly. Looooooong time ago that.

conor2469 · 12-07-2019 4:27pm

How long has this been going on? Are the gardens large? I would've thought that they would soon get bored of playing football in a back garden with limited space and move out onto a green area, is there an area of grass nearby?

I'm lucky in my estate, there is a green in the middle of the estate and goal posts have been set up so all the kids play football out on that instead,

The_Honeybadger · 12-07-2019 4:40pm

Been there. Nothing you can do except put up a higher fence. Good fences make good neighbours as the saying goes.

JohnnyChimpo · 12-07-2019 6:57pm

The_Honeybadger wrote: »

Been there. Nothing you can do except put up a higher fence. Good fences make good neighbours as the saying goes.

The poem you're quoting, Frost's "Mending Wall", makes the exact opposite point .It's about human connection and NOT building walls

The_Honeybadger · 12-07-2019 7:06pm

JohnnyChimpo wrote: »

The poem you're quoting, Frost's "Mending Wall", makes the exact opposite point .It's about human connection and NOT building walls

Had no idea it was a poem. I think most people take it to mean that a certain level of privacy is a good thing. I’m all for being friendly and inclusive but I don’t like the idea of my neighbours kids being able to ‘hop’ over the fence in to my garden.

TeaBagMania · 12-07-2019 7:09pm

Time to start a used balls business on donedeal

2Mad2BeMad · 12-07-2019 7:16pm

Only way to stop it op is to be 'that neighbor'

the_syco · 12-07-2019 7:55pm

Either put up high fences, or put all balls onto the road out front.

Pineapple1 · 12-07-2019 8:05pm

The way this country is going, you'd be mad to let kids go in and out of your garden willy nilly in case they fall or trip and sue the willy nilly off of you.

SirChenjin · 12-07-2019 8:09pm

conor2469 wrote: »

How long has this been going on? Are the gardens large? I would've thought that they would soon get bored of playing football in a back garden with limited space and move out onto a green area, is there an area of grass nearby?

I'm lucky in my estate, there is a green in the middle of the estate and goal posts have been set up so all the kids play football out on that instead,

It's possibly become a game to them at this stage i.e deliberately kicking it over and then getting their climbing practice in. Pain in the arse.
I'd agree with others OP, make it less accessible asap.

Spanish Eyes · 12-07-2019 8:10pm

Have you considered putting a net up yourself on top of the offending wall on your side? Or a fence, would be worth every penny IMV if it's bothering you that much.

It's the Summer holidays so this kind of thing can be expected, but is also a pain in the aras if it's happening every five minutes too.

Always Tired · 12-07-2019 8:12pm

Id say this is a great opportunity for your son to learn the skills necessary to be an all star goalkeeper. Start em young and all that.

But seriously maybe chat to the boys and say I don't mind yous playing but my boy is only 2 so when he in the garden yous will either have to stop or keep the ball from going over because I don't want him getting hit, I'll let yous know when we're coming out.

And then let them know when you and your boy are out there. If they send balls over still, take them inside and don't return them until you are ready to take your boy inside.

Hobosan · 12-07-2019 8:20pm

Buy the kids some cheap ballerina gear.

fishy_fishy · 12-07-2019 8:24pm

Would it be totally out of the question to talk to your neighbours (all 3 sets) and fill them in that it's not just their kids, it's three sets of kids. For every time their kids hop the wall, you've had two other instances of kids hopping the wall and you just want your garden to be your garden, not a free for all.

Would suggest that you try something like saying "I will collect all the balls that come into my garden and on Sunday mornings and Wednesday evenings I will put them in a crate in my driveway. They can collect whichever are theirs twice a week".

The whole situation seems very unreasonable.

Rubberchikken · 12-07-2019 8:30pm

the. argument of 'oh theyre only kuds' doesnt wash imo.

op first mistake you made was letting them in to retrieve ball in the first place.
people who allow their kids behaviour to impact on others dont and wont care.

if they did they wouldn't allow it in the first instant.

you dont want them coming in to collect their ball so say so. you are entitled.

you can bet these will be the parents who will shout the loudest uf something happens to their precious kid while on your property.

bfa1509 · 12-07-2019 8:33pm

Tell wife to stop putting her bra out on the line

Vicarious Function · 12-07-2019 8:44pm

Bottom line is those kids are trespassing on your property. You are perfectly witin your rights to object to this. Some other posters here have mentioned that your son could be exposed to some harm, and this is something you have to take very seriously.

Respecting boundaries, literally, is a good lesson for these little trespassers to learn. It's never too soon.

On no acccount would I throw their balls back to them straight away. I make it a rule to leave it two hours before they get their balls back. Give them a stern look if they appear over friendly. You're the adult and deserve some respect in your own property. They'll soon get the message and you'll soon start to see a difference in their behaviour.

Confining their football play to a local green, as another poster has said, is also a good suggestion IMO.

Spanish Eyes · 12-07-2019 8:49pm

Vicarious Function wrote: »

Bottom line is those kids are trespassing on your property. You are perfectly witin your rights to object to this. Some other posters here have mentioned that your son could be exposed to some harm, and this is something you have to take very seriously.

Respecting boundaries, literally, is a good lesson for these little trespassers to learn. It's never too soon.

On no acccount would I throw their balls back to them straight away. I make it a rule to leave it two hours before they get their balls back. Give them a stern look if they appear over friendly. You're the adult and deserve some respect in your own property. They'll soon get the message and you'll soon start to see a difference in their behaviour.

Confining their football play to a local green, as another poster has said, is also a good suggestion IMO.

I think the issue is that the wall is so low the kids hop over the wall themselves to retrieve the footballs. High netting or a fence is the only option, and then OP can do what you say.

Vicarious Function · 12-07-2019 8:56pm

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

I think the issue is that the wall is so low the kids hop over the wall themselves to retrieve the footballs. High netting or a fence is the only option, and then OP can do what you say.

I agree, Spanish Eyes, that the height of the walls is an issue. Most people in settled areas have raised their boundaries to at least five foot. By the time the children are old enough to climb these boundaries, hopefully they will have a better understanding of the issues.

CollyFlower · 13-07-2019 12:11am

Keep any balls that come into your garden.. You could also coat the top of the wall with grease.. In my day some neighbor's use to coat the top of their walls with broken glass.

anewme · 13-07-2019 9:09am

You need to get the 5/6 ft fence panels. Ours went rotten after 12 years and we got them replaced. Because every house did one side it was not too expensive.

I live in a terrace house and love it. As a woman on her own, I feel a littie bit more secure. Its a pain with moving furniture etc though.

the odd time the ball would come in from next door over the fence.

Given the fences were hugh enough so they couldt get over, they had to knock at door.

I never open the door in the evenings if im not expecting anyone as im often just relaxing and dont want to be dusturbed, so they often had to wait till they saw me coming home from wotk the next night to ask for ball.

The longer the wait between ball coming back led to more careful players.

You need to lay down a couple of ground rules.

1. Tell parents their children are not to come uninvited onto your property and you will hand back the balls yourself.

2. Tell the parents their children are not to knock after x time, as your child will be sleeping.

That will lead to delays in ball being returned.

That puts control of your property back in your hands.

bladespin · 13-07-2019 9:34am

CollyFlower wrote:

Keep any balls that come into your garden.. You could also coat the top of the wall with grease.. In my day some neighbor's use to coat the top of their walls with broken glass.

That could turn out incredibly expensive.

Better if the op puts a stop to them jumping in with a trellis/barrier or talk with parents. Then give the ball back a day or 2 later, this works wonders.

13-07-2019 9:58am

Im thinking punji stakes and hidden pits, but your own kid might fall foul, a vicious (looking) dog sounds like the next best thing, and start growing a prickly hedge.
I think (its been said already) you shouldnt have allowed access in the first place, now you are in a worse situation to end it and will look bad for doing that. Id start to close off the right of access, not sure how to withdraw and for someone to take offence.

Pkiernan · 13-07-2019 1:31pm

Sun bathing in those single strap Speedos would act as a deterrent.

Samuel T. Cogley · 13-07-2019 7:34pm

I had to use anti climb pain to stop the little darlings. Now they just ring the door and ask nicely. I've quit using the anti climb paint and am trying to give them the hint that they can just climb back over again but not to be messing.

Unintended consequences and all that OP.

Neighbours - Footballs flying in all day

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