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I've been up front, what else can I do?

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  • 16-02-2020 6:50am
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    regular poster, going anon
    Recently came out as lesbian, and through whatsapp, and a mutual friend, have been introduced to someone, who has just come out of a relationship, very long one, 18 years
    during the course of talking, over approximately the last 2 weeks, we have discussed pretty much everything. admittedly i had a sh*ty time with family and confided to her, probably shouldn't have, looking back on it now
    i'm currently in recovery from some health problems, and family circumstances, and my own disability, means going out, thus meeting up, is difficult just now
    we were texting earlier on today, and I asked, just in conversation,did she have a meetup on today, as she mentioned she had something social on every day next week, and like i say, i was just making conversation
    immediately, she came back, and said, yes, there was a meet-up on, but if I could, then she'd rather meet for coffee with me instead, I had said earlier on in the week, it might be a possibility, but having had a trip out on Fri and had to do some walking, i realise now, I'm not healing as quick as I would like. Back problems are prolapsed disk+sciatica
    we also, in conversation were speaking about first experiences, her first text way back when we started talking, was a ' welcome ' to the community and anything she could do to help etc
    I was saying to her, even though been out a while, not yet had my first sexual experience with a woman, and how I was thinking of going to amsterdam, to have it that way, no pressure etc
    then she asked, was I asking her, and I said, maybe if we get on, could we maybe consider it?
    We both agreed maybe FWB was a possibility, but i stress possibility, not certainty, as online/text and in real life are different. I did not, promise the sun, moon, stars, trips to Venus, Mars, none of that!
    I just feel like maybe she's more invested than I am? I did say that i think we have a connection, and this is true
    I apologised earlier in the week for sharing so much, as felt I'd overdone it, and done a lot of, emotional taking, not so much giving, and offered to listen any time she needed it
    Another problem for me, and this might be considered silly, is, I don't like the sound of her voice
    I am blind, so voices matter, and her's is just not something I find attractive, normally when I try explain it to sighted people, I say, a voice to us, is like what someone looks like to you
    So between this kind of, putting pressure on to meet, and not sure if there's an attraction there, I'm just not sure what to do?
    I've told her, that I don't know when I can meet her, that there's no pressure from me, that she should go out and explore, stop holding out for milky bar, when you're in a shop full of galaxy and crunchy, a metaphor, for how much she has to explore.....
    I feel like I've been as honest as I can, accept the voice thing, because I feel that's just mean, advice, please?
    Thanks


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