Every week, Alan entered the state lottery hoping to win.

He never did.

Finally, he prayed vigorously, and hoping for a magical message, he walked around the local fairground.

A flash of lightning struck as he was passing by Nellies carnival stall.

She was bending over and he saw she was not wearing panties.

He could see the number 7 tattooed on each of her butt cheeks.

He bet on 77, as he thought The gods had given him a sign.

He lost again. Sad!

The winning number was 707.

Moral of the story: Never underestimate the importance of assholes in your life.