Every week, Alan entered the state lottery hoping to win.
He never did.
Finally, he prayed vigorously, and hoping for a magical message, he walked around the local fairground.
A flash of lightning struck as he was passing by Nellies carnival stall.
She was bending over and he saw she was not wearing panties.
He could see the number 7 tattooed on each of her butt cheeks.
He bet on 77, as he thought The gods had given him a sign.
He lost again. Sad!
The winning number was 707.
Moral of the story: Never underestimate the importance of assholes in your life.