The silent treatment or the big row...

I'm from the school of blow up a little easily and argue. If I care about the person though, I'm usually quick to take whatever blame is mine, apologize and forget about it.

While I know it's just a personality difference, the people I find most hard to deal with are those who are the opposite : people that withdraw/give you silent treatment, sulk and hold on to argument grudges interminably.

Partner does this and I hate it (currently on day 5 over something ridiculous) I know it’s bothering him but he’s too stubborn to come to me and usually I give in and approach him but we had a discussion last time and he agreed we need to handle things by communicating better. Is fighting fire with fire the best approach here?? I’m giving up!!

Think a lot of women like the big passionate argument with heightened emotions. They tend to be more comfortable and in touch with emotions anyway, so this approach works for them.

Dudes prefer to sulk for a while, to sleep on the argument, or to come back to it at another stage. Or just admit you’re wrong, buy some flowers and bath bombs, and promise never to do what you did again. While not fully understanding what you did, and not really listening anyway as she goes on and on about emotions etc.

In my previous relationship i was the silent type when arguing, this could last days. I now look back and can see i was stupid, stubborn and immature, it wasn't fair to her and if i could, i would apologies to her. It was wrong for so many reasons and i can see how my behavior affected our relationship. I am with my current partner i have gone full circle now to talking with her and if we have an argument, we talk about it, doesn't matter who is in the wrong, we get our point across and move on. What changed for me is i knew my behavior wasn't normal or fair and i wanted to change, it took me a while but life is so much easier.