Would you go on holiday with a female friend?

LegacyUser · 19-01-2010 2:09am #1

Is it possible to do or would you just be thinking 'maybe something will happen' at the back of your head? If you asked a friend on holidays would your main motivation be? Purely physical, or a sign you wanted something else?

minidazzler · 19-01-2010 2:38am

Depends, is this a female friend I happen to be attracted to, or strictly platonic?

globemaster1986 · 19-01-2010 1:21pm

If its just going to be the two of you there, i think he wants more than "just friends"

Bottle_of_Smoke · 19-01-2010 1:37pm

Gonna have to give more info, all depends on the friendship.

Anything ever happened to suggest he was interested in you before?

Khannie · 19-01-2010 2:35pm

Only once asked a female friend on holidays before and I *definitely* wanted more than just friendship.

That's not to say that I couldn't go on holidays with a female friend and not do anything. I've done that too. I just didn't do the asking.

Otis Driftwood · 19-01-2010 2:58pm

Of course,what a silly question.

Wibbs · 19-01-2010 5:26pm

Have done. Twice with two different mates. Stayed in the same room too, though had a pact that if either pulled the other had to bugger off

um7y1h83ge06nx · 19-01-2010 5:56pm

If it's just platonic I wonder how could it affect scoring chances.

A lot of women might think she's your girlfriend but she might help break the ice with some women or 'split the pack' with a bunch of birds.

Interesting research project for some-one!

LegacyUser · 19-01-2010 11:55pm

Thanks for the opinions! Background is we're good friends for years, there is a past, but just friends for ages. I was happy with that but now my view is changing.

Suggestion of holiday came as a surprise & I'm wondering what's motivated it, is it simply the covenience of having a good pal to go with, or is his view changing? If you were the guy doing the asking would you ask a platonic friend? Would you risk a good friendship? Would you be hoping for something more longterm? If you were interested what signs would you give to the girl? Because there has always been a spark between us I'm finding it hard to read the situation objectively.

Would really appreciate a male perspective, can't work ye out sometimes!

thethedev · 20-01-2010 6:43am

Considering it at the moment actually:D
Depends, if I wanted more, then I'd definitely go.
If we were just mates, then I'd definitely go.
If either of the above but she had a boyfriend, then I'd definitely not go.

DazMarz · 20-01-2010 8:28am

A really, really good friend of mine (we've known each other since we were like 14; totally platonic, we've never gone out or never even kissed as far as I can remember!) is really into going to America soon and as I've fallen in love with Las Vegas, we're considering going to Vegas for a week sometime.

...knowing my luck, we'll come back married or something!!:D:o...

OldGoat · 20-01-2010 9:33am

No matter how platonic the friendship, no matter how long ye have been best mates, no matter what pacts, agreements and decisions are made beforehand there will ALWAYS be a hope in his heart that lust gets vented. It's how we are wired.
When women say 'Platonic' we hear 'maybe someday'.

20-01-2010 2:01pm

munster girl wrote: »

would your main motivation be? Purely physical, or a sign you wanted something else?

I'm confused OP. Do you fancy this friend? Is he offering somekind of "friends with benefits" style arrangement?

OldGoat wrote: »

No matter how platonic the friendship, no matter how long ye have been best mates, no matter what pacts, agreements and decisions are made beforehand there will ALWAYS be a hope in his heart that lust gets vented. It's how we are wired.
When women say 'Platonic' we hear 'maybe someday'.

AH now Old Goat. That is how your wired. :pac:
It is perfectly concievable, that however wonderful we are. Our bloke mates might just find us physically repulsive. Like sisters.

I wouldn't see a problem with it myself. I wouldn't assume that there was an sexual interest.
If I had an inkling someone might have ideas like that. I would be put be put off the idea though.

Jemmy · 20-01-2010 2:08pm

OldGoat wrote: »

No matter how platonic the friendship, no matter how long ye have been best mates, no matter what pacts, agreements and decisions are made beforehand there will ALWAYS be a hope in his heart that lust gets vented. It's how we are wired.
When women say 'Platonic' we hear 'maybe someday'.

Hmm I have to kinda agree with this, alot of my male best mates over the years have in one way or another tried it on. Whether it was testing the water through flirty texts, a kiss on a night out or simply just coming straight out and asking me a out after years of friendship!

OldGoat · 20-01-2010 2:49pm

Moonbaby wrote: »

AH now Old Goat. That is how your wired.

True, but lets not go down that road.

It is perfectly concievable, that however wonderful we are. Our bloke mates might just find us physically repulsive. Like sisters.

There is an old addage, All cats are grey in the dark, that holds true. In the right situation, in the right circumstances men would try to bed any woman.

Red Hand · 20-01-2010 6:12pm

OldGoat wrote: »

In the right situation, in the right circumstances men would try to bed any woman.

Definately not.

Will · 20-01-2010 6:27pm

Went to Italy with four female friends for a week. would regularly crash back at my female friends apartment on nights out, stay in the bed and all. New years eve crashed in a female friends apartment also.

You don't go risking good friendships by complicating it with kissing etc. Just a bad bad idea. Once someone is a friend that's how they stay in my mind, learned from past experience.

Fago! · 20-01-2010 6:50pm

Wibbs wrote: »

Have done. Twice with two different mates. Stayed in the same room too, though had a pact that if either pulled the other had to bugger off

I'd say you spent the majority of the trip in the bar!

Yeah I would. I wouldn't be worried if anything happened. I'd try to make something happen.

Wibbs · 20-01-2010 7:03pm

Fago_25 wrote: »

I'd say you spent the majority of the trip in the bar!

80/20 with one and the reverse with the other

They're actual mates though. Like my sisters, so no inclination for hanky panky at all.

Wibbs · 20-01-2010 7:07pm

Briar CoolS Trait wrote: »

If it's just platonic I wonder how could it affect scoring chances.

A lot of women might think she's your girlfriend but she might help break the ice with some women or 'split the pack' with a bunch of birds.

Interesting research project for some-one!

In my experience it does help the guy score. Much less so the woman. I've pulled far more with my female mates in tow than they have with me in tow. In fact more than once I'm there because they just want a night on the tiles without some eejit trying it on. There are a fair few women who see the attached guy as a challenge. Men do that stuff to but as I say in my experience a lot less. Plus the guy with the woman mate has already been vetted by another woman as not being a dribbling weirdo(well in my case...) and that helps too.

LegacyUser · 23-01-2010 12:55am

Great to have boards back!
Have decided to go. He may chance his arm & it could be awkward, but we've always worked through any previous issues... Problem is I don't know which would be worse, that he tried it on, or that he had no interest & didn't!

Moonbaby it's not a FWB situation, & though we talk about everything, funnily enough neither of us has brought up the issue of relationships recently. I suppose being totally honest at the moment I'm much more open to something happening then I was even a year ago. Both in early 30's so possibly why it's on my mind more.

Wibbs & Super-sonic ye may be right, if all else fails we can try the social research project route!

Third_Echelon · 23-01-2010 9:58pm

munster girl wrote: »

Great to have boards back!
Have decided to go. He may chance his arm & it could be awkward, but we've always worked through any previous issues... Problem is I don't know which would be worse, that he tried it on, or that he had no interest & didn't!

Moonbaby it's not a FWB situation, & though we talk about everything, funnily enough neither of us has brought up the issue of relationships recently. I suppose being totally honest at the moment I'm much more open to something happening then I was even a year ago. Both in early 30's so possibly why it's on my mind more.

Wibbs & Super-sonic ye may be right, if all else fails we can try the social research project route!

Do you want something to happen? Sounds like you do... so why worry?

STOKESY_01 · 24-01-2010 11:48pm

tink this would have to depend on the relationship you have with the female friend and of course how they feel about you !!

LegacyUser · 24-01-2010 11:50pm

Third Echelon I suppose I do want something to happen alright, (but still getting my head around that idea...)

Why worry? Hmm... I'm slightly worried about how it'll affect our friendship, especially if things get awkward. This is someone I've known & had a friendship with for many years so truthfully the thought of him rejecting me on any level throws me a little. Simple as :-) I've never been great at the whole dating thing anyway so not my area of expertise, hence wanting a guy's viewpoint on his thinking/motivation!

LegacyUser · 27-01-2010 12:24am

I guess if I'm honest I do want something to happen Third Echelon. But still getting my head around that as I thought that was all well in the past...
What am I worried about? I value the friendship a lot & as I know him so well the thought of being rejected & things getting awkward between does pop into my head occasionally. But I think he should make the running, what do ye think?
I've never been an expert on the whole dating scene, hence being glad of yer opinions. I suppose I'm hoping someone will say they were in a similar situation & it all worked out ok & didn't get awkward!

sbs2010 · 12-11-2018 10:47pm

Ah Jaysus i just read this entire thread.

So OP, are you married now with an 8yo kid?

Wibbs · 12-11-2018 10:57pm

Yeah Sb, but I think this thread is getting into the realms of the archaeological.

Would you go on holiday with a female friend?

Comments