Wedding Invitations wording.

hillbloom · 27-10-2019 3:51pm #1

My son & his fiancee are soon ordering their Wedding Invitations.. I have noticed they are not including "together with their families" on them...just john & Marie are inviting. ..... Is this making little of the families or am I over reading this. We have been good to them in a lot of ways. I am a bit disappointed really.

One eyed Jack · 27-10-2019 4:00pm

I’d honestly never known that was even a thing OP before now!

Apparently it depends upon the circumstances as to what way the invitations are written -

If it's a collaborative affair hosted and paid for by the bride, groom and both sets of parents, you can also use "Together with their parents, Emma and Jax request the pleasure of your company ..."

21 Wedding Invitation Wording Examples to Make Your Own

Is there any chance you could give them the benefit of the doubt that it was a genuine oversight on their part and they wouldn’t have been aware of these social conventions before now?

silent_spark · 27-10-2019 4:04pm

Are you paying for the wedding, OP?

Bitches Be Trypsin · 27-10-2019 4:08pm

Typically it's only done if parents are paying for the wedding

splinter65 · 28-10-2019 5:55pm

hillbloom wrote: »

My son & his fiancee are soon ordering their Wedding Invitations.. I have noticed they are not including "together with their families" on them...just john & Marie are inviting. ..... Is this making little of the families or am I over reading this. We have been good to them in a lot of ways. I am a bit disappointed really.

I think the best thing you could do right now to avoid any more hurt feelings in the run up to your sons wedding is to accept that Irish weddings and all the old customs and traditions attached to them have changed hugely over the last 25 years in particular.
When the bride and groom were both still living at home and both no more then 22/23 on their wedding day then it was reasonable to say that the father of the bride was footing most of the bill for the wedding and the mother of the bride had ALOT of input into all aspects of the planning and that the parents were in fact the hosts and were inviting the guests.
That’s not really the case now and it is the bride and grooms party and it is they are the hosts.
Best thing to do is be as supportive as possible, stand back, try not to take any offence when clearly none is intended.
It was your job as parents to be good to them, you shouldn’t hold it over them.

893bet · 28-10-2019 6:52pm

hillbloom wrote: »

My son & his fiancee are soon ordering their Wedding Invitations.. I have noticed they are not including "together with their families" on them...just john & Marie are inviting. ..... Is this making little of the families or am I over reading this. We have been good to them in a lot of ways. I am a bit disappointed really.

You are assuming they changed the wording by design.

Reality is they may have googled “wedding invitation” and used the exact text from the first one without much thought.

Don’t take it so personally when there may have been no malice from the wedding pair.

Neyite · 29-10-2019 5:23pm

A lot of couples are now leaning towards a more informal script on invitations, I'm keeping it very informal and neither set of parents are getting a mention on it.

Parents have been good to us over the years, but we've been very good to them as well. But I don't think that warrants them getting mentioned on the invite for a party that we are throwing and paying for ourselves in full.

skallywag · 29-10-2019 5:35pm

I myself would not bother with mentioning parents either.

If I knew that it meant so much to one of them, however, then I would gladly give a mention. I know that a lot of folk, particular from an older generation, tend to hold tradition in high regard when it comes to weddings. I myself have no time for it, but that said I would also be fine with playing ball over something, which to me at least, is innocuous.

Maybe just have a word with them and see how it goes down?

solerina · 29-10-2019 6:28pm

Bitches Be Trypsin wrote: »

Typically it's only done if parents are paying for the wedding

Not always, we worded our invite in a similar manner(together with our families or something like that) and we paid for it ourselves !!! I think it depends on what the couple wants to say rather than just down to who is paying !!

Loveinapril · 29-10-2019 9:52pm

We didn't include our parents on our invitation because (I mean this in the nicest way) it had nothing to with them. We paid for it and we chose who to invite.

Saysay19 · 29-10-2019 9:57pm

My mother was put out over this. We paid for our wedding and therefore on our invites we decided we would have our son inviting everyone. A little bit different.

In saying that when I showed my mother in law the sample I thought she’d be the same as my own mother but no, she cried as she thought it was beautiful.

31-10-2019 2:13pm

Saysay19 wrote: »

My mother was put out over this. We paid for our wedding and therefore on our invites we decided we would have our son inviting everyone. A little bit different.

In saying that when I showed my mother in law the sample I thought she’d be the same as my own mother but no, she cried as she thought it was beautiful.

To be honest when I received an invite like that before and just rolled my eyes. Why would i want to be invited to any event by a child? If i ever get married again or throw a substantial party in the future Im putting my cat's name on the invites

eviltwin · 31-10-2019 2:56pm

Even if I was paying I wouldn't want to be included on the invite. It's not my wedding after all.

hillbloom · 31-10-2019 3:27pm

Thanks folks for all the helpful replies.

rECTAL fLAKE · 31-10-2019 3:59pm

We would have paid for our own wedding but wrote together with their families on the invites. It would be a kind of tradition I suppose but I think it's a nice thing to say in that both families are celebrating.

Rob Thomas · 31-10-2019 4:32pm

I always took that wording on the invitation to mean that the parents were paying.

Wasn't on our invitations but we paid ourselves for everything anyway. But I dont think it came up.

My brother's father in law paid for the reception at their wedding and I think it was on their invite - but he would have insisted!!

JustMe,K · 01-11-2019 9:58am

hillbloom wrote: »

My son & his fiancee are soon ordering their Wedding Invitations.. I have noticed they are not including "together with their families" on them...just john & Marie are inviting. ..... Is this making little of the families or am I over reading this. We have been good to them in a lot of ways. I am a bit disappointed really.

They may not have even thought further than 'It's our wedding, so we are inviting ...'

Weddings are so fraught with expectation now. If I were you OP, I would mention it so that you don't leave it festering into a bigger argument, but unless you are paying for a significant part of the day (and they know about this now, as in you are not planning to surprise them down the line), I would not expect your views on the wording to be a consideration.

El Weirdo · 01-11-2019 3:40pm

rECTAL fLAKE wrote: »

We would have paid for our own wedding but wrote together with their families on the invites. It would be a kind of tradition I suppose but I think it's a nice thing to say in that both families are celebrating.

What a lovely sentiment, rECTAL fLAKE.

Wedding Invitations wording.

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