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3rd Job in Just over a Month, still struggling.

  • 25-10-2019 1:38pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I'll just reply to this original thread instead of making a new one, I recently started work in a new job, the third one in just over a month. At the interview I stressed that I was inexperienced and would need a lot of coaching and support of they were to hire me, I thought they would take time to consider this but they hired me on the spot, telling me their company has a culture of learning and development.
    I started work with a group of people and it soon became clear that I was hired on short notice because someone had pulled out. Training flew by at breakneck pace and we were put into our positions, naturally I wasn't ready and made a mess of things.
    I'm a slow learner, it takes me a long time and constant practice to be able to get the hang of something, the rest of the group I started with did really well, and we had a meeting at the end of the day to discuss our performance, and I was critiqued by my manager and my peers, I've never been so close to breaking as I was in that meeting, I managed to get home and I've called in sick today, I really don't know how I'm going to go on like this, always drawing a blank on simple tasks, always the slowest in the group, unable to retain any information, I have no skills or ability whatsoever, I just don't know what to do.


Comments

  • #2
    antix80
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,419 ✭✭✭antix80


    Where are you finding all these jobs you're not suited to? What's attracting you to them?


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    antix80 wrote: »
    Where are you finding all these jobs you're not suited to? What's attracting you to them?

    I apply for jobs that have things like "full training will be provided", "entry level" etc. I just don't have the aptitude or intelligence to take anything in. I have some physical problems so jobs with manual handling aren't an option, I wish they were.


  • #4
    antix80
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,419 ✭✭✭antix80


    For young people, physical work is often a lot easier than office work.

    Look you're not resiliant.. The amount of people as thick as pigsh*t who don't realise they're terrible people, terrible at their jobs but somehow excel in corporate jobs.. It's actually scary.

    So a few things.. Profitable, large companies continue existing not because they hire or retain good staff. They hire a combination of staff who stay a long time (ratio of 1 worker to 2 bluffers) and staff that stay less than 6 months. They exist by bullying staff, suppliers, customers.

    Smaller companies have a different dynamic that can be tougher at times.

    So your goal needs to be. 1. Get a job. 2. keep the job. I already told you-you don't need to be the "worker" - you can be the bluffer. Do less. Low expectations. Find your level. And.. Be nice to the right people.

    If it sounds insane it's because you're too critical. If you can tolerate it, that's resiliance.

    An alternative is to drop the expectations of others and follow your passions and work hard until you learn enough to cover your bills in the hopes you'll find your niche.

    Either way, you're in a tough market. No one is going to hold your hand to mentor you when they can place their efforts in someone who is more of a self starter. If you want to improve slowly and steadily, you need to be kinder to yourself and, well, suck up to the right people.


  • #5
    cannotlogin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,172 ✭✭✭cannotlogin


    Firstly, you are NOT useless and you have to realise that because until you do you are going to continue to self sabotage.

    Changing the way you are looking at things is essential. You must be doing something right given not one but three people have chosen to employ you in the last 3 months. You must have at a minimium come across as personable, presentable and capable. I've interviewed people in the past and no matter how short staffed we were at the time, there were some people that you just couldn't hire so trust me, you are already ahead of some.

    I've also been involved in training people and some times those who try the hardest succeed the least. This is usually because of the pressure they (not their employer or the person training them) put too much pressure on themselves.
    They want to run before they can walk, they compare themselves with people with more experience, you may have all started at the same time but you have no idea what other experience people gain before starting their current role. Relax and realise Rome wasn't built in a day and skills are built up over time, not immediately.

    Write down a list of what you can do now that you couldn't do on day one. At the end of the week, write down what you can do, that you couldn't do the previous week. Repeat until you gain confidence. Focus on small gains, little improvements and celebrate them. If you keep being hard on yourself and admitting defeat, the cycle will continue and you'll be posting the same thing in January on your 10th job!

    Notice the kinder people on your team and those who are doing well. Compliment them and ask if they can give you guidance etc. Where supervisors are giving negative feedback, ask them what they think you could do to improve, who does it well & could they pair you with them for a while.

    A good attitude and willingness to learn, will go along way. Most good managers will recognise everyone started somewhere and will invest in a good attitude as the person will have long term potential if not an immediate impact. The better you treat yourself, the better others will treat you.

    Go back into work and focus on the positive rather than the negative...It will make a difference but you have to break your current mindset. Surely, you owe it to yourself, to give yourself a chance?


  • #6
    dellas1979
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,128 ✭✭✭dellas1979


    People learn and absorb information in many, many, many different ways. Some people by listening, some people by reading, some people by visuals, some times by touching things, some times a combination.

    The trick is to turn short term memory (for example, learning how to open a programme) into long term memory.

    Its usually a combination of structure - noticing, taking note(s) (mentally or writing it down), organising notes, re-reading/re-writing notes, indeed taking away notes and talking out loud/hearing yourself.

    Myself, for example, I read a few key words, I feel the meaning, and I always have to have a pen in my hand (its called kinesthetic: learning through feeling/sense) - sometimes I even doodle at meetings. I was pulled up in meetings a few times for this, and all I can say is hey, Im a kinesthetic learner :)

    If you organise yourself to succeed each hour/day at a time, you will feel better about the whole situation. Not going in is just giving up.


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  • #7
    SauNewb
    Registered Users Posts: 23 ✭SauNewb


    When you need to do something that you can't, take a breath & think of what step you can take in the right direction. Sometimes if you can start something you will find the next step forward after.

    Identify people who you can go to with questions.

    Take notes.

    If possible look at finished examples of what you are doing.


    At some point you need to dig in & give it your all. You can't just keep changing jobs.


  • #8
    SirChenjin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,111 ✭✭✭SirChenjin


    StillUseless wrote: »
    I'll just reply to this original thread instead of making a new one,I recently started work in a new job, the third one in just over a month. I managed to get home and I've called in sick today, I really don't know how I'm going to go on like this, always drawing a blank on simple tasks, always the slowest in the group, unable to retain any information, I have no skills or ability whatsoever, I just don't know what to do.


    https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2058019617

    I've linked what I presume is your previous thread. Did you try any of the suggestions from that?

    You're obviously doing something right, to be able to get the jobs. Comparing yourself to others and then beating yourself over the head about your progresss is tripping you up.


  • #9
    lainey_d_123
    Registered Users Posts: 2,385 ✭✭✭lainey_d_123


    I think you really need some proper feedback, OP. Something is very wrong if this happens in every single job. One time could be bad luck. I've worked in places where they just expected way too much of me and weren't prepared to train me at all, but if this is happening in every single job and nobody else is having the same issue, then it is you and I think you know this.

    It sounds like you have very poor confidence and self esteem and no resilience at all. Are you just paralysed by having to make the smallest decisions or carry out tasks? Have you been harshly punished in the past by your parents for doing things 'wrong'? Or perhaps the opposite - smothered and not allowed to try anything? Or perhaps nobody is actually unhappy with your performance and you're misinterpreting what they're saying? It's hard to know without having an objective view, but it seems like a very deep seated issue for you.

    What really comes through is that you just seem to quit the moment you find something hard. Maybe part of it is having totally unrealistic expectations of how life is supposed to be? Work is hard, especially in your first job or two when you're not used to how the real world works. Everyone feels lost. Everyone feels like they don't know what they're doing. You just have to push through it and gain experience as you go. It sounds like you really do need some help with confidence and self esteem, because if you're being hired for all these jobs, you're clearly good enough to do them. Maybe look up about imposter syndrome as well.


  • #10
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Thank you so much for your replies, I am doing a little better, I've accepted that it will take time for me to learn and I am making myself ask for help, I always believed that when I asked people for help I was bothering them and making them resent me, but I realise that's just in my own head and for good or bad I am going to have to rely heavily on the people around me for not and I can't allow myself to believe that they automatically think negatively of me when I ask for help, it's hard but the people I work with are very nice and I think I can make a go of it as long as I try my best.


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