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Feel like my life is over.

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  • 11-07-2019 10:33pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Over the past year I have lost everything I worked so hard for.

    A year ago I had a stable job, I had a great life and an amazing girlfriend. Last year I opted to take a serious risk and move into self-employment with an affiliation to a company. The company sold it to me as a step up in career and if I worked hard enough I would make an incredible living. Needless to say it hasn't paid off and as a result I lost my girlfriend, my savings and a feasible career I had before i left my job. I have had countless interviews and sent multiple applications to no avail. I am barely keeping above water.

    I've no one really to turn to now and I fear the landlord will get word and have me on the streets.


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    #2
    suicide_circus
    Registered Users Posts: 19,802 ✭✭✭✭suicide_circus


    did your gf leave you because the job didnt work out or what?


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    #3
    petros1980
    Registered Users Posts: 134 ✭✭petros1980


    suicide_circus wrote: »
    did your gf leave you because the job didnt work out or what?

    Any advice to offer or are you just fishing for gossip? :confused:

    OP - Sounds like a really **** time you've had. I'm sure you'll land a job eventually. You should probably focus on your mental state, trying to get that into the right place, as I'm sure being more positive will help with all the rest. Do you have mates you can chat to, or maybe go to a few counselling sessions? Try not to focus on the past, there's no changing that. People lose partners, jobs etc all the time and then bounce back. You will too. Best of luck


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    #4
    punisher5112
    Registered Users Posts: 24,647 ✭✭✭✭punisher5112


    Any chance of the previous job hiring you back?

    You need to speak with your family and if you're still paying rent you can't be turfed out anyway....

    Is there anything that you could work at that would get you by until another similar position came up....
    There is no way you should be embarrassed or feel bad for having to work at something else that you would see as less etc....


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    #5
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Thanks for the replies guys. My old boss is happy to take me back once a position opens up. I fear it may not be there for a while. My gf left because she wasnt happy take from that what you will.


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    #6
    antix80
    Registered Users Posts: 2,419 ✭✭✭antix80


    So she was happy during good times and walked at the first bad time.. you dodged a bullet!


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    #7
    wiggle16
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 3,022 Mod ✭✭✭✭wiggle16


    Over the edge wrote: »
    My gf left because she wasnt happy take from that what you will.

    Antix is right. If she left because you're in difficulty then it was a blessing in disguise. A person who won't offer their partner support when they are having a tough time is a dead weight.

    Perhaps it wasn't that simple, and perhaps this put a strain on your relationship. But you are still better off without than with someone who leaves at the first sign of trouble.


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    #8
    TheBoyConor
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,292 ✭✭✭TheBoyConor


    You'r gf was only with you for the perks when the going was good.

    This gf leaving issue is a blessing in disguise, believe me.

    As for the job, that will be fine. You will get back into it before long.


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    #9
    Citygirl1
    Registered Users Posts: 297 ✭✭Citygirl1


    Hi. I understand things seem bad at the moment. However, the fact that your previous boss is happy to have you back is hugely positive news! He obviously has great respect for you and your work, and you must have left on good terms. Alternatively, if there isn't any roles opening up with that employer, this fact should be helpful for you getting into another role - it's something I would certainly mention at interviews, and you could rely on your old boss for a good reference.

    As suggested, why don't you just look for any type of work in the meantime, to help pay the bills. What your doing really doesn't matter, particularly in the short term. It should also help keep your mind busy - from personal experience, having too much time on our hands is not good when you have problems, as just allows hours for turning things over and over...…

    As for your girlfriend, if she broke up with you over this situation, she clearly wasn't around for the long term, or had much respect for you. Down the road, I'm sure you'll see this.


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    #10
    Tokyo
    Politics Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,655 Mod ✭✭✭✭Tokyo


    OP, I realise you feel that you are in a tough spot now, but most people don't look back on life and regret the risks they took - they look back and regret the ones they didn't take. You took a chance, it didn't work out, and that already puts you head and shoulders above most other people.

    As for the girlfriend, others have said it more eloquently. If it was meant to be, she would have stood by you during the tough times as well as the good times - she didn't, and that should tell you all you need to know. Everything else - the job, the savings, will come good with time.


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    #11
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Just wanted to update this.

    I've gotten a new role which I'm doing really well with so things are slowly coming together. I'm still not over my ex but that should go away with time. Looking back I could have handled my ****ty situation better and I dont blame her for leaving.

    I'm planning on making 2020 my year.

    Thanks guys


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    #12
    Citygirl1
    Registered Users Posts: 297 ✭✭Citygirl1


    Well done on the new job!! And best of luck for 2020...


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    #13
    sasta le
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,586 ✭✭✭sasta le


    Original OP wrote: »
    Just wanted to update this.

    I've gotten a new role which I'm doing really well with so things are slowly coming together. I'm still not over my ex but that should go away with time. Looking back I could have handled my ****ty situation better and I dont blame her for leaving.

    I'm planning on making 2020 my year.

    Thanks guys

    Well done
    You sound very high end professional don’t be afraid to try again


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    #14
    KaneToad
    Registered Users Posts: 3,161 ✭✭✭KaneToad


    Nice one OP. Onwards and upwards!


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    #15
    enricoh
    Registered Users Posts: 4,831 ✭✭✭enricoh


    Fair play op.
    I'm self employed and know a few lads that got stung badly when the celtic tiger calved.
    One had to get stints in the heart from all the pressure, anothers missus bailed when the dollars dried up. At least ye didnt have any nippers.
    A lot to be said for 20 days holidays, sick pay, overtime, redundancy etc etc!


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    #16
    joeguevara
    Registered Users Posts: 7,995 ✭✭✭joeguevara


    Congrats on the job. Must be a big boost to your confidence. Also taking risks is part of life and if you didn't maybe you would always ask what if.

    Your gf finishing is always tough. Who knows was it due to new job or it could have been your not suited. It takes time to get over someone but in the end you will realise if it's not meant to be it's better it ended.

    Keep doing what you are doing. It's obvious you are good at what you do. That's why you were offered the self employment and now a new job.


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