Learned friend was a thief

LegacyUser · 06-11-2019 3:26pm #1

Hello. I'm 19 years old and have been in college since September. I've never had close friends in secondary school but made a close male friend. We share similar tastes.

The thing is, he confessed to me that he went through a spell of drug addiction issues a year ago. He never used drugs until he was an adult and got child benefit money saved in an account from his mother that totaled €1,000. He started taking alcohol, anti-anxiety meds, and painkillers from some former school friend of his who used drugs. When he ran out, he pawned off his parents TV and their friends camera at the CEX store, adverts.ie

They called the gardai to give him a talk about being homeless, getting kicked out and then he went to a drug rehab program and is now better. However I'm still a bit worried. Should I remain friends with him

zapper55 · 06-11-2019 4:19pm

It took some balls for him to tell you. How did it come up?

Only you can answer if you should remain friends but of you do you'll need to.park your judgement to one side.

Foweva Awone · 06-11-2019 4:39pm

Fair play to him for his honesty. He didn't have to tell you any of that.

It's a personal call, but in your shoes I'd actually have a lot more respect for the guy for coming through something like that, and being to acknowledge where he went wrong.

It doesn't sound like he was bragging about it or anything, it sounds like it's something in his past that he's not proud of but that he's not in denial about it either.

Diceicle · 06-11-2019 5:15pm

For me it would depend on the tone in how he told you about his addiction.
If it was 'I went through a bad time, did some bad stuff, but I'm out of that now....'-tone, I'd remain friends with them.
If it was more of a 'I robbed loads of gear cos I'm a mad bastid'- then I'd be keeping my distance.
We all make mistakes.

wiggle16 · 06-11-2019 6:43pm

Is it that you are bothered by it in itself or are you jarred because it's come as a shock to you?

It's in his past, and fair play to him for being open. That says more about him than his past behaviour.

Everyone makes mistakes and has done things they regret. It's up to you whether or not you can see past it, but I think it would be a pity if you can't.

Ursus Horribilis · 06-11-2019 8:21pm

You only met him in September so you don't know him that well yet. If I was in your shoes, I'd adopt a wait and see approach. Now that you know what he did in the not too distant past, you'll be seeing him in a different way anyway. As you get to know him better, you'll get more of an idea of what he's really like.

ManOfMystery · 07-11-2019 10:59am

Well, he's being honest for starters - which counts for a lot. If he was still thieving or you thought he may be a threat to you in some way, I doubt he would be telling you about it.

But as said above, only you can decide if he's a changed man. If he has changed though, I think it probably took a lot to tell you this and for him to put that trust in you and your judgement, so I think your response should be equally fair and to respect that.

LegacyUser · 09-11-2019 11:06pm

If it was told to you in a I feel bad about this way then I think I would remain friends. A friend of mine in his adult hood told me about when he was a teenager he burgaled houses, and how he felt guilt for it, I'm still friends with him

ILoveYourVibes · 10-11-2019 1:38am

If he is a good person now...then be friends with him. If he is a good friend to you then be friends with him.

If he turns out not to be a good friend ....you haven't lost anything.

I guess you are worried he will do something to hurt you? Well only time will let you get to know someone truly.

Learned friend was a thief

Comments