Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi all,
Vanilla are planning an update to the site on April 24th (next Wednesday). It is a major PHP8 update which is expected to boost performance across the site. The site will be down from 7pm and it is expected to take about an hour to complete. We appreciate your patience during the update.
Thanks all.

The Lessons of work!

Options
  • 12-11-1999 4:47pm
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 3,274 ✭✭✭


    Lesson number one

    A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw
    the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day
    long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the
    ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped
    on the rabbit and ate it. Moral of the story is: To be sitting and doing
    nothing,
    you must be sitting very, very high up.

    Lesson number two

    A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the
    top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."
    "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.
    "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and
    found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch
    of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the
    second branch. Finally after a forenight, there he was proudly perched at
    the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot
    the turkey out of the tree. Moral of the story: Bullsh!t might get you to
    the top, but it won't keep you there.

    Lesson number three

    When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain
    said, " I should be Boss because I control the whole body's responses and
    functions." The feet said, " We should be Boss as we carry the brain about
    and get him to where he wants to go." The hands said, " We should be the
    Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money." And so it went on
    and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the ass hole
    spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the ass hole being the Boss.
    So the ass hole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.
    Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet
    twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered.
    Eventually they all decided that the ass hole should be the Boss, so the
    motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss
    just sat and passed out the sh!t ! Moral of the story: You don't need
    brains to be a Boss - any ass hole will do.

    [This message has been edited by Monty - the one and only (edited 15-11-99).]

    [This message has been edited by Monty - the one and only (edited 15-11-99).]


Advertisement