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Sad Selfie

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    #62
    outdoors247
    Registered Users Posts: 136 ✭✭outdoors247


    Farsighted epidemic


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    #63
    NIMAN
    Registered Users Posts: 33,133 ✭✭✭✭NIMAN


    bmwguy wrote: »
    For balance in this conversation, does anyone that takes selfies and put them on the internet wish to present their argument about why they do it?

    For the record, I abhor the whole selfie culture and people wanting to take pictures of me on a night out so they can show the world what they got up to and who they met on a night out.
    I have refused many times and it very often causes serious offence, particularly among females who are way more into this than males. But males are too, especially younger ones.

    But I don't care about the offence I cause.

    Go away, I don't want to be in your picture that will end up on 5 different sites with a tagline something like #bff forever #drunk #nitesout #madbastards4eva.
    It's narcissistic in the extreme.

    I have a Facebook account, I use it more to keep up with social events than anything. Don't use instagram or whatever else is out there.

    I am male, mid 30s and the offenders are nearly almost female 25-35. But one man I know, a few years older than me is a pain in the hole for it, he would interrupt a conversation you were having to get in a selfie with you, he even has one of those retarded sticks on a night out.

    However, that's my opinion on the matter but it doesn't mean I am right.

    Over to you, narcissists, present your case. Honestly.

    You are right though.


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    #64
    Your Face
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,277 ✭✭✭Your Face


    Pac1Man wrote: »
    What is wrong with judging? I never understood that. :confused:

    Some people have trouble understanding things.
    Its ok, I won't judge.


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    #65
    bmwguy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,006 ✭✭✭bmwguy


    NIMAN wrote: »
    You are right though.

    I am trying to illicit a response. I'm genuinely interested. Always interested in hearing people's honest counter argument.

    Then dismissing it as rubbish.


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    #66
    Estrellita
    Registered Users Posts: 638 ✭✭✭Estrellita


    harr wrote: »
    It's definitely has to be an insecurity in some people and needing to be told daly how well they look..yes we all like a compliment but its seems obsessive with some people and it's seems to be predominantly a female thing..

    I blame the likes of those Kardashians. I'm sure the notion of selfies was around prior to them lot invading all forms of media, but I think it's their kind that have normalised this schite. It's okay if 'celebs' do it, famous for nothing other than showing off their holes and riding around celeb land.

    Insecurity, attention seeking, immaturity and in some cases a complete lack of class.


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    #67
    mzungu
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 6,307 Mod ✭✭✭✭mzungu


    harr wrote: »
    It's definitely has to be an insecurity in some people and needing to be told daly how well they look..yes we all like a compliment but its seems obsessive with some people and it's seems to be predominantly a female thing..

    Definitely not. There are loads of lads in their 30s and 40s doing it too. In the attention economy, selfies are a form of capital. The name of the game is not to have fun, but to be seen as having fun. I wonder about the mindset behind it.


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    #68
    December2012
    Registered Users Posts: 4,695 ✭✭✭December2012


    Sue Pa Key Pa wrote: »
    So I'm in the local leisure centre today, having a swim to keep my 54 year old chassis in mint condition. Lovely and quiet, the way I like it. I couldn't help but notice this woman, around 30, in the jacuzzi on her own, taking pictures of herself using a selfie stick. All big smiles and then a miserable face when she was finished.

    maybe she was having a good time without smiling. As a person with a natural resting bitch face I could look miserable to some while enjoying myself immensely. Most people don't smile on their own.


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    #69
    Estrellita
    Registered Users Posts: 638 ✭✭✭Estrellita


    mzungu wrote: »
    The name of the game is not to have fun, but to be seen as having fun. I wonder about the mindset behind it.
    It's beyond sad. If they put down the phones they might actually have some real fun..


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    #70
    feardeas
    Registered Users Posts: 307 ✭✭feardeas


    Was at a gig in a pub nearly 3 years ago. Group of girls in their early 20s upfront of us. They spent the entire night glued to their phones. No communication. The only time they interacted was when one wanted a group selfie. That was also the only time they smiled. As they might say WTAF?

    I'm not old, early 30s, but I actually thought it was a bit sad.


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    #71
    Teyla Emmagan
    Registered Users Posts: 5,641 ✭✭✭Teyla Emmagan


    Pac1Man wrote:
    What is wrong with judging? I never understood that.


    I love judging people.


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    #72
    bmwguy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,006 ✭✭✭bmwguy


    mzungu wrote: »
    Definitely not. There are loads of lads in their 30s and 40s doing it too. In the attention economy, selfies are a form of capital. The name of the game is not to have fun, but to be seen as having fun. I wonder about the mindset behind it.

    It definitely is predominantly female, it was never said totally female. No doubt about it.

    I think my group of friends and acquaintances are fairly typical cross section of Irish society. I am part of a large sports club and it has a vibrant social scene. Huge numbers of the club socialise together, you'd wake up on a typical Sunday and Facebook would be plastered with selfies, group selfies and other pictures from the women. A large proportion in the toilets. They all take turns the commenting how well each other looks for the egos.

    Stunning xxxx

    These are lovely girls, I couldn't say a bad word about them, play their sports, work hard, have good jobs but when it comes to social media they are all seeking ego boosts.

    You would see the odd bit from the lads but very little to be honest.


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    #73
    Savvy student
    Registered Users Posts: 78 ✭✭Savvy student


    As a young selfie-taker, there is a certain pressure to join in and to try to look good. For some people their self esteem and self worth comes from the amount of likes they get. Their friends might get 300 or 400 likes on their profile picture (usually a selfie) and if they only get a mere 100 likes, it can have a negative effect on the way they view themselves. It's just another way for young people to compare themselves with each other.

    I will admit that when I upload a pic/selfie on Facebook or Instagram (granted it's not that often) I am guilty of regularly checking the number of likes it gets. For me, it's not a case of "look how good I look I got 500 likes" but more like "phew this photo did okay, I'm not horrible".

    Yes, young people shouldn't rely on social media for self-esteem but unfortunately that is the case for many. It doesn't always come from a place of narcissism.

    In the past people smoked to look cool. Today we embellish our lives on social media to look cool. The need to fit in amongst young people is constant but how we fit in is always changing.


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    #74
    lawlolawl
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,678 ✭✭✭lawlolawl


    bmwguy wrote: »
    For balance in this conversation, does anyone that takes selfies and put them on the internet wish to present their argument about why they do it?

    For the record, I abhor the whole selfie culture and people wanting to take pictures of me on a night out so they can show the world what they got up to and who they met on a night out.
    I have refused many times and it very often causes serious offence, particularly among females who are way more into this than males. But males are too, especially younger ones.

    But I don't care about the offence I cause.

    Go away, I don't want to be in your picture that will end up on 5 different sites with a tagline something like #bff forever #drunk #nitesout #madbastards4eva.
    It's narcissistic in the extreme.

    I have a Facebook account, I use it more to keep up with social events than anything. Don't use instagram or whatever else is out there.

    I am male, mid 30s and the offenders are nearly almost female 25-35. But one man I know, a few years older than me is a pain in the hole for it, he would interrupt a conversation you were having to get in a selfie with you, he even has one of those retarded sticks on a night out.

    However, that's my opinion on the matter but it doesn't mean I am right.

    Over to you, narcissists, present your case. Honestly.

    You know the way that people who have "gone travelling" and come back never shut the **** up about it and tell everyone about it constantly even if people don't want to hear about it?

    Yeah? It's that, except with literally everything they do.


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    #75
    bmwguy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,006 ✭✭✭bmwguy


    Fair points about fitting in, but why do you feel the need to post the picture in the first place and enter the rat race for likes and end up either disappointing yourself sometimes?


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    #76
    Rezident
    Registered Users Posts: 1,770 ✭✭✭Rezident


    Sue Pa Key Pa wrote: »
    So I'm in the local leisure centre today, having a swim to keep my 54 year old chassis in mint condition. Lovely and quiet, the way I like it. I couldn't help but notice this woman, around 30, in the jacuzzi on her own, taking pictures of herself using a selfie stick. All big smiles and then a miserable face when she was finished.

    I can imagine her sending pics to her mates with some sort of caption saying she was having a right time. I didn't have the heart to tell her phones/cameras were banned in the pool area. I don't know myself what point I'm trying to make but it was a very sureal moment for me.

    I know exactly what you mean! I see it all the time now, mostly women, it feels like they are desperately trying to pretend that they are happy.


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    #77
    lawlolawl
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,678 ✭✭✭lawlolawl


    bmwguy wrote: »
    Fair points about fitting in, but why do you feel the need to post the picture in the first place and enter the rat race for likes and end up either disappointing yourself sometimes?

    Some people haven't got much going for them so they seek the validation of people who don't give two ****s about them anyway.


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    #78
    Rezident
    Registered Users Posts: 1,770 ✭✭✭Rezident


    I worry about people who feel the need to own a selfie stick. I really do.


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    #79
    Day Lewin
    Registered Users Posts: 4,614 ✭✭✭Day Lewin


    bmwguy wrote: »
    For balance in this conversation, does anyone that takes selfies and put them on the internet wish to present their argument about why they do it?

    For the record, I abhor the whole selfie culture and people wanting to take pictures of me on a night out so they can show the world what they got up to and who they met on a night out.
    I have refused many times and it very often causes serious offence, particularly among females who are way more into this than males. But males are too, especially younger ones.

    But I don't care about the offence I cause.

    Go away, I don't want to be in your picture that will end up on 5 different sites with a tagline something like #bff forever #drunk #nitesout #madbastards4eva.
    It's narcissistic in the extreme.

    I have a Facebook account, I use it more to keep up with social events than anything. Don't use instagram or whatever else is out there.

    I am male, mid 30s and the offenders are nearly almost female 25-35. But one man I know, a few years older than me is a pain in the hole for it, he would interrupt a conversation you were having to get in a selfie with you, he even has one of those retarded sticks on a night out.

    However, that's my opinion on the matter but it doesn't mean I am right.

    Over to you, narcissists, present your case. Honestly.

    We're all narcissists.
    Back in the Olden Daze before th'internet, people were thrilled to see their photo in the newspaper, or to be heard on the radio.
    They used to pay a photographer to take a wedding photo, or a baby face down on a rug, or even, gruesomely, "Dead portraits" *True fact)
    Before that, rich people would pay an artist to paint their portrait. Often holding their favourite gadgets or wearing their fanciest jewellery or fur.
    Just think of the pyramids, there is actual graffiti among the wall paintings!
    So there's nothing new about folks wanting to be seen, admired, recorded for posterity; making our mark, hoping for survival in an impermanent world: in which one person is but a transient ripple.

    Whats new is everyone having the means to take the picture and distribute it widely: that's the only difference, really.

    I rest my case.


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    #80
    Estrellita
    Registered Users Posts: 638 ✭✭✭Estrellita


    Savvy student wrote: »
    As a young selfie-taker, there is a certain pressure to join in and to try to look good. For some people their self esteem and self worth comes from the amount of likes they get. Their friends might get 300 or 400 likes on their profile picture (usually a selfie) and if they only get a mere 100 likes, it can have a negative effect on the way they view themselves. It's just another way for young people to compare themselves with each other.

    I will admit that when I upload a pic/selfie on Facebook or Instagram (granted it's not that often) I am guilty of regularly checking the number of likes it gets. For me, it's not a case of "look how good I look I got 500 likes" but more like "phew this photo did okay, I'm not horrible".

    Yes, young people shouldn't rely on social media for self-esteem but unfortunately that is the case for many. It doesn't always come from a place of narcissism.

    In the past people smoked to look cool. Today we embellish our lives on social media to look cool. The need to fit in amongst young people is constant but how we fit in is always changing.

    Thank you for your honesty. But you don't, and shouldn't ever do anything just to fit in. You brought up smoking, and that is bad for your physical health. But the obsession some people have with needing to be noticed, approved of, fancied etc can't be good for your mental health. What does it achieve ultimately?


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    #81
    NIMAN
    Registered Users Posts: 33,133 ✭✭✭✭NIMAN


    Savvy student wrote: »
    As a young selfie-taker, there is a certain pressure to join in and to try to look good. For some people their self esteem and self worth comes from the amount of likes they get. Their friends might get 300 or 400 likes on their profile picture (usually a selfie) and if they only get a mere 100 likes, it can have a negative effect on the way they view themselves. It's just another way for young people to compare themselves with each other.

    I will admit that when I upload a pic/selfie on Facebook or Instagram (granted it's not that often) I am guilty of regularly checking the number of likes it gets. For me, it's not a case of "look how good I look I got 500 likes" but more like "phew this photo did okay, I'm not horrible".

    Yes, young people shouldn't rely on social media for self-esteem but unfortunately that is the case for many. It doesn't always come from a place of narcissism.

    In the past people smoked to look cool. Today we embellish our lives on social media to look cool. The need to fit in amongst young people is constant but how we fit in is always changing.

    An honest response, but if you are genuinely like this it perhaps you need to assess how your life is going?

    If you stopped posting completely would your life be worse? Why not make a stand and say "I dont care about likes, I aint posting any photos". Surely your (real) friends won't think less of you?

    This 'likes' counting can only lead to misery if you think its a serious reflection on how good a person you are, how many friends you have, or how attractive you are.


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    #82
    Sue Pa Key Pa
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,060 ✭✭✭Sue Pa Key Pa


    Fair play Savvy Student, but I would think you & your friends might benefit from not participating in this selfie thing if you are nervous about reaching a quota of likes. There will be assholes out there who will grant or withhold their 'like' just to try and make you as miserable as they are


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    #83
    Olishi4
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,469 ✭✭✭Olishi4


    I think the selfie became normal because people don't have that much else to post. Most peoples lives are not all that exciting. Also people are trying hard to connect through social media, an unnatural way to connect with people.

    Online, you lose a lot of who you are as a whole person and in how you portray yourself in real life. Body language is a huge form of communication and people are perhaps trying desparetly to somehow incorporate that into their online lives resulting in the form of the selfie and stills of their life with super happy phony smiles and duck face.


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    #84
    Wigglepuppy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 397 ✭✭Wigglepuppy


    Your Face wrote: »
    Some people have trouble understanding things.
    Now now, don't be judging!


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    #85
    J Mysterio
    Registered Users Posts: 11,035 ✭✭✭✭J Mysterio


    DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »
    Poor woman. She reminds me of a cousin of mine, 30+ with no husband or kids. I know she's suffering and I feel so sorry for her.

    Though I take your point, well meaning as it is, 30+ is not a big deal these days.


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    #86
    Wigglepuppy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 397 ✭✭Wigglepuppy


    J Mysterio wrote: »
    Though I take your point, well meaning as it is, 30+ is not a big deal these days.
    Well meaning me eye - it's a blatant wind-up post! :D Sher there's no evidence that she has no partner or children!


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    #87
    J Mysterio
    Registered Users Posts: 11,035 ✭✭✭✭J Mysterio


    Wigglepuppy wrote: »
    Well meaning me eye - it's a blatant wind-up post! :D Sher there's no evidence that she has no partner or children!

    He was referring to his own cousin, not the OP.


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    #88
    Wigglepuppy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 397 ✭✭Wigglepuppy


    J Mysterio wrote: »
    He was referring to his own cousin, not the OP.
    But why was he making the comparison so? All she was doing was taking selfies and looking miserable. It paints a sad picture for sure but there is no more information about her.


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    #89
    retro:electro
    Registered Users Posts: 21,039 ✭✭✭✭retro:electro


    Nothing worse than being on a night out, getting on great with people and then they whip out the camera for a selfie with you. I recently joined my boyfriend on a work night out, I didn't know many of the people there but I got talking to one of the girls who works with him and we were getting along great. I'd say we were chatting for about 40 mins about all sorts of shi1te when she whips out the camera for a selfie. I just said "ah no thanks I hate selfies", she looked at me like I'd just insulted her from the high heavens and then took off and she literally never spoke to me for the rest of the night. Bizzare behaviour. Made me feel like she was only talking to me so she could share a pic with me for her other friends to see and know she was out enjoying herself: whereas I actually was enjoying being in the moment and having fun conversation.

    I've spent nights out with girls who sit across from you in the pub with those snapchat filters on staring into their phones admiring themselves whilst you're left staring into your glass of wine.


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    #90
    NIMAN
    Registered Users Posts: 33,133 ✭✭✭✭NIMAN


    Xmas work nights out have now been ruined by the camera phone as well.

    Ours used to be great craic, people making a balls of themselves and up to all sorts of nonsense. Then one year someone recorded a clip of one of these bits of craic, which is less craic/more embarrassing when seen a week later and sober.

    That was the end of fun on the nights out. Everyone is now afraid they will appear on the internet doing something stupid.


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    #91
    harr
    Registered Users Posts: 4,478 ✭✭✭harr


    That's what pisses me off on a night out the Constant uploading of photos to Facebook ...somebody spills a drink...snap uploaded to Facebook ...some poor ****er gets a bit drunk ...snap uploaded to Facebook ... And now you have the added one of Facebook live video ..was on a night out recently and someone in pub did a live video feed to Facebook when I got home my wife could tell me who was in pub ,where I was sitting and what I as drinking ..I wasn't hiding anything but I did want to relax and enjoy my night out without being Broadcast over Facebook...
    So glad I grew up and did my crazy stuff before social media ...any little thing teenagers do now is documented on smart phones for the world to see..


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