Invitation regret

Marv8 · 26-11-2018 10:48pm #1

Hi guys.

Just wondering if anybody has ever been in a similar pickle.
I've sent out invites and RSVP's back, but there's a couple I really regret not asking.
Any ideas on a way to invite them without them feeling they were an afterthought because they weren't. I had considered them but left them out due to numbers along with others but they're the only two that's bothering me that I didn't invite.

eoghan104 · 26-11-2018 10:52pm

I got an invite once that said please RSVP by the 5th of June. It was mid July.

I didn't go.

Marv8 · 26-11-2018 10:56pm

eoghan104 wrote: »

I got an invite once that said please RSVP by the 5th of June. It was mid July.

I didn't go.

No I won't be sending an invite like that. I was going to send it about 3 weeks after the others but didn't feel that it was right.
I was thinking of a white lie and texting saying they hadn't RSVP'd wondering were they going and letting on it must have been lost in the post?

blindside88 · 26-11-2018 10:59pm

A white lie is your best bet, I would go with a text saying something like, “I was going through some papers and came across your invitation, I’m really sorry, it must have gotten mislaid I completely forgot to post it out, I’m sticking it out in today’s post. Sorry again, we both really hope you can make it”

drunkmonkey · 26-11-2018 11:03pm

Ring your friend, we had to do it, explain there was a numbers problem but it's fixed or just send them an invite and say nothing, your always going to have a few cancellations.
To be honest just call and ask.

thejaguar · 26-11-2018 11:09pm

drunkmonkey wrote: »

Ring your friend, we had to do it, explain there was a numbers problem but it's fixed or just send them an invite and say nothing, your always going to have a few cancellations.
To be honest just call and ask.

This.

Cockadoodledoo · 26-11-2018 11:13pm

drunkmonkey wrote: »

Ring your friend, we had to do it, explain there was a numbers problem but it's fixed or just send them an invite and say nothing, your always going to have a few cancellations.
To be honest just call and ask.

Oh I don’t know about this. I personally wouldn’t like to know I was bottom of the invitation list unless it’s a very very very small party.

I’d go for the white lie and check in on their RSVP. Then nobody is any wiser and everyone is equal.

tickingclock · 26-11-2018 11:17pm

Cockadoodledoo wrote: »

Oh I don’t know about this. I personally wouldn’t like to know I was bottom of the invitation list unless it’s a very very very small party.

I’d go for the white lie and check in on their RSVP. Then nobody is any wiser and everyone is equal.

Definitely white lie and tell nobody that you are doing it as word may get out

Marv8 · 27-11-2018 8:57am

Thanks for the replies, I might just leave it be. I'm not sending the invite at this stage anyway as I think it would be the ultimate insult. Chances of the invite being lost are slim in a rural area and none of the others got lost (as far as we know).

dee_mc · 27-11-2018 9:05am

Say you lost it yourself - dropped the bag of invites under the seat of the car when you were on your way to post them and only got round to cleaning out the car today, feel like an awful eejit, hope they can make it - definitely don't tell them they're getting a 'second tier' invitation, and definitely don't just not invite them to avoid awkwardness if you'd genuinely miss them on the day or feel you'd regret it afterwards!

beauf · 27-11-2018 9:26am

Cockadoodledoo wrote: »

...
Oh I don’t know about this. I personally wouldn’t like to know I was bottom of the invitation list unless it’s a very very very small party....

Anyone who isn't close friends or close family at a wedding knows they aren't top of the list.

Faith · 27-11-2018 9:29am

Yeah, I’d go with a white lie. I had to do one for my wedding and it was horribly awkward and I’m sure the person saw through it but they came to the wedding and I don’t think there are any hard feelings.

The Bishop Basher · 27-11-2018 9:33am

Could you be reading too much into this OP ?

If they were left off your original list i'm assuming they aren't in your immediate circle.

if that's the case, most people aren't that bothered..

Just send the invites.

skallywag · 27-11-2018 12:44pm

Rennaws wrote: »

Could you be reading too much into this OP ?

If they were left off your original list i'm assuming they aren't in your immediate circle...

I would also tend to go along with this.

If I really wanted someone at my wedding then they would definitely be invited , and not amongst those who may get omitted due to numbers, etc.

Not trying to be harsh on you OP, but I do indeed think that they were an afterthought, as you would have invited them already if not.

Is there something in particular which happened after you sent out the invites which changed your mind?

Marv8 · 27-11-2018 9:31pm

I met them 3 weeks after we had sent out the invites and I felt very awkward as I immediately thought that we should have invited them.

Peatys · 27-11-2018 9:35pm

Just text and say something like,

Hi the hotel were on and are looking for numbers.. don't mean to be a pest, but have ye decided if ye are going?

Them: going to what?

You: we sent an invite few weeks ago... Did it not arrive?

irishgrover · 27-11-2018 10:18pm

You could just tell them you forgot to invite them and are really sorry etc. It does happen. We realised we had forgotten someone, only when the best man read a fax from them wishing is all the best during the speeches.....we phoned her the next day and grovelled, they were very understanding

Fagashlil · 28-11-2018 12:44am

How long is it till the wedding? If it’s still 4-6 weeks, (and unless they know your invites have gone out) I’d just send it and say nothing.

Toots · 28-11-2018 12:56am

Marv8 wrote: »

Thanks for the replies, I might just leave it be. I'm not sending the invite at this stage anyway as I think it would be the ultimate insult. Chances of the invite being lost are slim in a rural area and none of the others got lost (as far as we know).

I actually did have 2 invites lost in the post when I was planning my wedding, so it does happen. Neither I or the invitees were any the wiser until I texted to see were they coming.

TCM · 28-11-2018 1:18am

JayZeus wrote:

If it's a wooden door, you can use matchsticks dipped in glue to plug the hole. Let it dry, cut them off flush then refit the bolt using screws as normal. You can even use superglue if you're in a hurry to get it done in 'one go'.

Marv8 wrote:

No I won't be sending an invite like that. I was going to send it about 3 weeks after the others but didn't feel that it was right. I was thinking of a white lie and texting saying they hadn't RSVP'd wondering were they going and letting on it must have been lost in the post?

You should hope they're not reading this.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 03-12-2018 9:28pm

Marv8 wrote: »

Thanks for the replies, I might just leave it be. I'm not sending the invite at this stage anyway as I think it would be the ultimate insult. Chances of the invite being lost are slim in a rural area and none of the others got lost (as far as we know).

Actually, it does happen! I didn’t get the invitation for a friend’s wedding a few years back. I was 100% invited (had got an earlier ‘Save the date’ card and she and I had discussed the wedding plenty) but the invite never came. She had the correct address too. I only realised I hadn’t got the invite when she texted wondering if I was going as the RSVP date had passed.

Go for the white lie. Be grand.

Scarinae · 03-12-2018 9:47pm

I was at a wedding in October and I never got an invitation... They definitely had my address as I got an invitation to the hen party. I got a text from the bride asking if I could RSVP, but the invitation never turned up. It happens!

aquinn · 04-12-2018 1:58pm

Years ago I received the original invitation past the RSVP date but with it a personal note. No hurt feelings or harm as a result. I went and had a wonderful day.

We got married recently and a very good friend didn't receive our invite until about 3 weeks after it was sent, an post couldn't read my handwriting. Easy to say it got lost in the post and chase like all other rsvp's.

pgj2015 · 04-12-2018 2:23pm

i would probably see through the white lie to be honest and then i wouldn't go, but don't worry most people hate getting wedding invites so the person might be happy they don't have to go through the expense of it all.

biketard · 04-12-2018 2:33pm

How about something pretty honest like, "Sorry, I've been really slow at getting some of the invitations out." You won't feel like you're telling a lie and I don't really see how they would be insulted.

04-12-2018 2:46pm

Just send an invite...? Don't lie and add a back story.

Invitation regret

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