How did your bully in secondary school turn out?

mr_fegelien · 06-06-2020 3:55pm #1

I was bullied for my autism and had to switch schools. Also ended up bullied there.

The funny thing is that the bullies were smart and posh. They were racist too.

As you can expect, they turned out better than me.

06-06-2020 3:59pm

They're undoubtedly happier than I am anyway..

c.p.w.g.w · 06-06-2020 4:01pm

Gay...

Mr_Muffin · 06-06-2020 4:02pm

I was bullied (nothing serious) when I was about 10/11. One day while walking to the school canteen, I punched him in the face. He more or less bullied everyone in the class, so everyone was happy when they heard the news. He didn't bully me again after that. Violence does work sometimes.

touts · 06-06-2020 4:02pm

mr_fegelien wrote: »

I was bullied for my autism and had to switch schools. Also ended up bullied there.

The funny thing is that the bullies were smart and posh. They were racist too.

As you can expect, they turned out better than me.

One went on to play intercounty football as everyone expected when he was in school but last I heard now he is now on the dole and has a couple of kids with different women. Turns out being a sportstar jock in school and putting all your career eggs in that basket doesn't work if you also like pints. Lots and lots of pints.

06-06-2020 4:03pm

I know one went to jail as a result of violence and another crossed me in later life.

I would suspect most as adults now look back in shame at that period of time.

corsav6 · 06-06-2020 4:05pm

I know 1 lad that used to bully a fair amount of people in school. He was good at GAA so it was never dealt with by the school. Went on to play for his county and now he's a politician. He's still a prick.

06-06-2020 4:08pm

I wouldn't call her a full-blown bully, but she didn't hide how she felt about me. I sat beside her dad on a long haul flight years later and had nice chats, he was lovely.

She invited me to her wedding a couple of years ago, which puzzled me. I was going to RSVP with something pointed and withering, but I wound up politely declining and wishing her the best. I'd like to say I felt like the bigger person, but I really didn't.

Rodney Bathgate · 06-06-2020 4:10pm

I don’t want to be accused of victim blaming, but in the case of the OP...

Necro · 06-06-2020 4:12pm

Mod:

I'll say this once, any more personal jabs at any posters will result in cards.

Friendly warning.

Das Reich · 06-06-2020 4:16pm

Mr_Muffin wrote: »

I was bullied (nothing serious) when I was about 10/11. One day while walking to the school canteen, I punched him in the face. He more or less bullied everyone in the class, so everyone was happy when they heard the news. He didn't bully me again after that. Violence does work sometimes.

Same here. Some of the ones I beaten them are dead now from different reasons.

06-06-2020 4:17pm

Hopefully terrible.

D3V!L · 06-06-2020 4:18pm

Dead, shot and junkies.

Treppen · 06-06-2020 4:23pm

Rodney Bathgate wrote: »

I don’t want to be accused of victim blaming, but in the case of the OP...

Ah leave it out ted

c.p.w.g.w · 06-06-2020 4:24pm

Das Reich wrote: »

Same here. Some of the ones I beaten them are dead now from different reasons.

Unfortunately, in this day and age physical response can get you in more trouble...a mates son is getting very badly bullied via Facebook and the school was like nothing to do with us Yadda Yadda...he smashed one of them with hurl last week and the guards are no involved... thankfully it's a case of he said/she said

This is it · 06-06-2020 4:27pm

The bullies in my life seemed to be those that had nothing really going for them except a bit of strength. Low intelligence, disinterested parents from what I could see, and so on. Of the few I still know they're generally unemployed and not really up to much. Typical arsèholes really.

I'm not up to a huge amount myself either in fairness but I'm happy with life, I'm not sure if they'd say the same.

This is it · 06-06-2020 4:31pm

c.p.w.g.w wrote: »

Unfortunately, in this day and age physical response can get you in more trouble...a mates son is getting very badly bullied via Facebook and the school was like nothing to do with us Yadda Yadda...he smashed one of them with hurl last week and the guards are no involved... thankfully it's a case of he said/she said

I've a 5 year old and have wondered how I'd handle him being bullied. Obviously at the moment it would be tell a parent, teacher, adult, but in a few years that becomes more difficult. Do you tell him to throw a slap back and they should back off, or stick with making an adult aware.

At the end of the day, you need to stand up for yourself or you'll be walked all over in this life

One eyed Jack · 06-06-2020 4:34pm

I was never bullied in secondary school, had a bit of trouble in primary school alright.

No idea how any of them turned out though as I don’t tend to harbour any resentment or grudges towards people, waste of time and energy at that craic giving people attention who don’t deserve it or a second more thought than they’re worth.

ArnoldJRimmer · 06-06-2020 4:45pm

He's still a massive cnut with an overinflated sense of his own importance. Met him last Christmas, and walked away after about 30 seconds as I felt like slapping his ugly cnutish face into next week

corner of hells · 06-06-2020 4:47pm

I wasn't really ever bullied in school, but do remember having a pint with my new wife years ago in my local when a lad who was a notorious bully started throwing his weight around with a couple of lads he used bully when in school .
They waited till he out for a piss and followed him , shortly afterwards the bar manager called an ambulance for him .
As we were leaving that night his motor bike was in a nearby river.

Salty · 06-06-2020 4:56pm

Wouldn't say I was outright bullied by this girl but she was an awful piece of work and would pass remarks on my appearance, others' weight and bodies etc.

She's now about three stone heavier than she was in school :pac:

castletownman · 06-06-2020 4:58pm

My school bully still takes my lunch money off me to this day.

On the upside, he makes a cracking chicken fillet roll to be fair to him.

Dravokivich · 06-06-2020 5:00pm

One of them was killed a few years ago. That made national news. The others, no clue what so ever. They never really interested me anyway and I was able to shut them up after things got physical, so I dont really care what they are at.

EmmetSpiceland · 06-06-2020 5:02pm

Salty wrote: »

Wouldn't say I was outright bullied by this girl but she was an awful piece of work and would pass remarks on my appearance, others' weight and bodies etc.

She's now about three stone heavier than she was in school :pac:

Ironic revenge, worthy of Somerset Maugham, himself.

fleet_admiral · 06-06-2020 5:08pm

One fella took a disliking to me and started saying crap about me around the school. I nipped it in the bud fairly quickly with a swift kick to the bollox. We grew up to be good friends

JohnnyFlash · 06-06-2020 5:08pm

I did really well tbh. Highly successful.

Earthhorse · 06-06-2020 5:10pm

Bumped into him years later (he recognised me) and we caught up. He's done well. Married with kids and a successFul business. We were reminiscing about school and he mentioned that he gave a few lads a hard time back then. I sort of said "You think?" and he asked had he given me a hard time. He apologised when I said he had (he gave everyone a hard time).

Not sure about other lads who picked on me over the years. It was horrible at the time but it faded in fifth and sixth year and I didn’t think much about them after that.

banie01 · 06-06-2020 5:11pm

BrianD3 · 06-06-2020 5:12pm

I was never physically bullied but I knew some who were. From what I've observed, the straightforward physical bullies tend to be stupid, do badly in life, end up in prison and die at a young age. On the other hand, psychological bullies/manipulators tend to be intelligent and often do very well in life. Sociopaths with 6 figure incomes, hot wives and beautiful children.

TheMilkyPirate · 06-06-2020 5:14pm

This is it wrote: »

I've a 5 year old and have wondered how I'd handle him being bullied. Obviously at the moment it would be tell a parent, teacher, adult, but in a few years that becomes more difficult. Do you tell him to throw a slap back and they should back off, or stick with making an adult aware.

At the end of the day, you need to stand up for yourself or you'll be walked all over in this life

I've told my young lad since the day he was old enough for it to be relevant to never hit anyone first or hit anyone without being provoked but If someone hits him the first thing he's to do is hit them back.

I understand teachers saying to not react and just tell a teacher if something happens and in an ideal world that would be great but this is the real world and that stuff doesn't work. You have to look out for yourself and stand up for yourself.

06-06-2020 5:35pm

I had more than one bully but the person that stands out for me was a "friend". She would alternate from being nice and chatty to ignoring me, little comments, leaving me out of games and just being a general cùnt. The strange thing is though we remained friends right up to adulthood until we had a falling out and true to form she cut me out completely.

If I had a child I would hope they would be brave and strong enough to walk away from someone who treated them badly. I was so desperate for friendship and to fit in.

In my adult life I've had a tendency to chase after people who I care about but who for whatever reason are not being in touch as much. Nowadays I just let them be. They know where I am. If they are struggling with something, if they need time alone, whatever it is they know where I am. I'm done with checking in and making sure all is ok.

06-06-2020 5:40pm

She has a degenerative eye disease

Mad_maxx · 06-06-2020 5:40pm

This is it wrote: »

I've a 5 year old and have wondered how I'd handle him being bullied. Obviously at the moment it would be tell a parent, teacher, adult, but in a few years that becomes more difficult. Do you tell him to throw a slap back and they should back off, or stick with making an adult aware.

At the end of the day, you need to stand up for yourself or you'll be walked all over in this life

will tell my son to never hit first but if hit , to hit back twice as hard , if the teachers attempt to throw the book at him , il support him even it means changing schools

06-06-2020 5:41pm

I find it gas altogether that one of the responses to Mr Feg's post was of a bullying nature. Just plain mean.

kowloon · 06-06-2020 5:42pm

A not very successful stand-up comedian. Seemed to think making fun of people made him funny and not just a ****. There was quite a big bullying problem in the school. A friend of mine hung himself and another guy who I would see on the train on the way in also killed himself. The headmaster had been particularly tough on the latter and his speech heavily stressed how the boy was 'sad' and how nobody is to blame. Another guy in my year killed himself just before the reunion.

06-06-2020 5:45pm

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I find it gas altogether that one of the responses to Mr Feg's post was of a bullying nature. Just plain mean.

Half of Mr Fegs threads are generally abuse..

Deebles McBeebles · 06-06-2020 5:46pm

Deleted User wrote: »

I find it gas altogether that one of the responses to Mr Feg's post was of a bullying nature. Just plain mean.

It will stop when people stop thanking them.

JohnnyFlash · 06-06-2020 5:47pm

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Half of Mr Fegs threads are generally abuse..

I like the dude. Plenty of his threads get replies. If we were waiting for some of the curtain twitchers and tut-tutters around here to create an interesting thread then the place would have closed up years ago.

06-06-2020 5:50pm

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Half of Mr Fegs threads are generally abuse..

They aren't.

06-06-2020 5:50pm

My secondary school was really good for sorting bullying and never left it get serious,

Still hated it there mind,

but jesus some.stories ya hear of people being bullied are pure terrible

06-06-2020 5:51pm

[Deleted User] wrote: »

They aren't.

No, I meant him getting abuse for starting the thread..

06-06-2020 5:52pm

Bullying thought me a very simple lesson, some people are fùckers and some people are not.

Strumms · 06-06-2020 5:57pm

I just looked up the class bully on Facebook.. He looks about 50, he’s only about 40/41, Every second photo is him in a Celtic shirt with a rake of pints in front of him. He didn’t give me much trouble but to a friend of mine he did certainly... because he was from a so called ‘disadvantaged’ background the teachers literally gave him a hall pass to do and get away with anything.

He stole my pencil case once and I accused him, the teacher told me to sit down, “Paul didn’t have it” only for it to fall out from under his jumper, “sorry I was just borrowing a pen”... “well Paul, you wait and ask, now I’m sure Mr. Strumms will lend you a pen”... me : “ I’m going to lend him fûck all the robbing swine” I was turfed out, my mother was called down, she was threatened with me being suspended despite having previously done little more than being caught talking ? “Suspend him ? You can apologize to him that’s about all you’ll be doing, otherwise I’ll be calling the Gardai, to report a theft, and the department to report you and Mr Daly for facilitating and carrying out bullying in this school.

ExMachina1000 · 06-06-2020 6:00pm

Strumms wrote: »

Suspend him ? You can apologize to him that’s about all you’ll be doing, otherwise I’ll be calling the Gardai, to report a theft, and the department to report you and Mr Daly for facilitating and carrying out bullying in this school.

Checkmate Mammy Strumms.

Lyan · 06-06-2020 6:04pm

You know how in the movies the bully is always flawed with having underlying family and self-esteem issues and is always destined to a poor future as the nicer kids become successful through their niceness and smartness? Yeah the opposite of that.

This is it · 06-06-2020 6:06pm

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I find it gas altogether that one of the responses to Mr Feg's post was of a bullying nature. Just plain mean.

If that's directed at me I simply pointed out that going by many threads Mr F starts, they're often self depreciating, and going by what he seems to think, everyone is better off than him.

I don't know the chap, I don't know who's better off than him. If it was seen as a bullying comment, I apologise to Mr F, it certainly wasn't meant that way.

Jenneke87 · 06-06-2020 6:07pm

i was bullied for being tall for my age and looking like a boy. I still face abuse over how I look so It never really stopped. I met them again a couple of years back; they turned out fine, I didn't. I'll admit that hurts a lot..

Mad_maxx · 06-06-2020 6:09pm

wasnt bullied in school but was the victim of workplace bullying in my early twenties while overseas for the first time which had a profound effect at a very important age in a persons life , bully was a female which made it much more difficult to deal with , you cant physically deal with it and the boss is reluctant to do much for fear of the gender card getting played , relentless verbal abuse takes its toll long after you have departed the scene , the savage words stay in your mind and leave you doubting and second guessing yourself

its never a good idea to hang around with a verbal bully , they have a lot more badness and nastiness than you do so you really cant win , you can convince yourself you are giving as good as you get but while the viscous insults come naturally to them , you end up drained from the constant battles

some people just need to be avoided , especially sectarian bigots

06-06-2020 6:12pm

I think there's a kind of distinction to be made too..I kind of see there being two types of bullying..

There's the one, where the generally damaged kid or whatever is just an overt bully that we are all aware of..

There's also a kind of communal bullying where you're just on the wrong side of a gang or whatever essentially.. Tends to be more subtle kind of, and maybe more damaging..

Wibbs · 06-06-2020 6:14pm

Wasn't bullied or a bully so no direct experience of it. Looking back there were no overt bullies in my year at school so was lucky there. There may have been some "quiet" bullying going on, but I didn't see it at the time. There were a couple of lads who were a bit quiet all the way to odd, but they were left largely alone. Though social isolation is damaging of course. Of the only obvious bully types I've known in my life most did well enough in life from what I gathered.

The Nutty M · 06-06-2020 6:24pm

I lamped this lovely fella who had been bullying me for nearly two years solid for just being quiet. I broke his jaw and my hand in the process.
I was on the verge of being expelled from secondary school. Only for a few others who told the truth of why it happened,I may not have had the same life choices.
I recognised him last year in a queue in a shop in front of me. He was buying a massive amount of drink. I found out later he has quite a love of the liquor and has been on the dole for the last ten years.

Sometimes in the cold weather my hand hurts but I don't hate him,I pity him.

How did your bully in secondary school turn out?

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