Nuns are threatening to interfere with my love life - I wud appreciate ur support

Please, don't make me stay at home and be condemned to an exclusive relationship with a monthly subscription to pornjunkies dot com.

To recluses like me, women who provide company for a reasonable fee of money, they breath life into my desolate soul.

You see, I have mommy issues.
Lots and lots of - mommy issues.

Therefore, I can't ever hope to sustain a normal relationship with a female (or male, for that matter).

And I can't really socialize in "night" based environments cause - my palms are to hairy to hide, and that's really a faux pas with most of the weekend crowd.

I mean - sure, I can get by, by occasionally fervently tending to my male needs, but as you know, sometimes you just need the company of another individual.


Which is why I would be most appreciative if you contribute a quick moment of your time, in helping bring the number of signatures on this petition:

https://my.uplift.ie/petitions/investigate-ruhama-s-public-funding

up to 1000.

I think there's about, 70 more signatures required.

If even half of you reading this take the moment, we should have it done before the clock strikes midnight.


Otherwise, you know - I might end up licking the toilet seat in a nearby women's room or something.