Stuff You Got Wrong As A Kid

Hugo Stiglitz · 07-02-2016 1:00am

cumulonimbus wrote: »

When I fell and cut my knee, my older sister said to me "You will have that scar till the day you die."
I thought that you would wake up in the morning of the day you were going to die and all your scars would have disappeared so you would know it was your last day alive.

That's kinda deep and thought provoking actually.

Xaracatz · 07-02-2016 9:39am

In our house my dad would always say "I'll do it in a sec" so I expanded on this when I didn't want to do something to "I'll do it in lots of secs".

All grand and hilarious to my folks I'm sure until a family friend was over and I was told it was my bedtime. Cue me getting all upset and roaring:

"But I don't want to go to bed for lots of sex"

:pac:

Deub · 07-02-2016 10:50am

I remember watching a movie where it said at the beginning it was a true story. I thought when the actors were shots, they were deads for good. I asked my dad if these people really died in real life he said yes.
I thought the actors were doing it because they were given loads of money (enough for their families to live without money issue).

New Home · 07-02-2016 11:15am

Deub wrote: »

I remember watching a movie where it said at the beginning it was a true story. I thought that the actors were shots, they were deads for good.

Was that Fargo? :eek:

Deub · 07-02-2016 11:51am

New Home wrote: »

Was that Fargo? :eek:

No, it was a french movie from the 80s.

eviltwin · 07-02-2016 11:55am

I used to think Ethiopia was spelt etopa

Rachiee · 07-02-2016 12:07pm

Me and my sister thought Trevor McDonald form ITV news was called Big Ben because when the news would come on he'd be reading it front of a picture of big Ben and my dad would always point and go oh there's Big Ben !!

I also couldn't give anyone the finger of always sick up the wrong one!

pickarooney · 07-02-2016 9:40pm

Deub wrote: »

No, it was a french movie from the 80s.

Phargaux?

Chartsengrafs · 07-02-2016 10:50pm

When I was a kid, a pitch and putt course opened up locally. My dad took it up not long after.

He brought me one time, just to walk along with him as he played. I recall a pigeon perched on a tree nearby, coo-ing away. I still remember saying to him - "Dad isn't it funny, we're at pigeon putt - and (me pointing) - there's a pigeon." Still remember his face.
I really thought that's what it was called.

FunLover18 · 07-02-2016 10:55pm

When my dad was at work, my mum always said he was in the office so I logically assumed he worked in the Post Office because it was the only office I knew.

JumpShivers · 08-02-2016 12:03am

My OH as a child was convinced that cars in America were made from wood. :P

whisky_galore · 08-02-2016 10:45am

Got the piss pulled out of me in national school by the teacher in front of the whole class when I pronounced 'Z' (Zed) as 'Zee'.

Damn you Sesame Street.

The_Captain · 08-02-2016 11:16am

Chain Smoker wrote: »

Thought communion was made out of bread bread. Spent years (probably only months, but it felt crazy long), trying to find ways to make my own communion using bread.

When I finally had my first communion, I was mostly just really annoyed that none of my experiments came close and it was more like a wafer substance.

Its made from the flesh of our Lord, you godless heathen!

thattequilagirl · 08-02-2016 1:17pm

When I was 7, I asked my mother if I was middle aged yet.

osarusan · 08-02-2016 2:28pm

I was just young enough for it not to be a complete howler, but in conversation about actors and actresses, I wondered why Marlee Matlin kept playing deaf characters, and if she was just good at acting that way.

fro9etb8j5qsl2 · 08-02-2016 2:40pm

When I was a child, we had one of those old gas meters that you would have to put 50 pence pieces into so that the cooker would work. My dad had me going for ages that it was a money box

Also, whenever I heard on the news that a body had been found somewhere, I always assumed that 'body' meant just a torso and that the head had been chopped off and not found yet :eek:

Oh and for some reason, I was convinced as a small child that I might suddenly grow a willy overnight and turn into a boy

Mister Vain · 09-02-2016 10:03pm

JumpShivers wrote: »

My OH as a child was convinced that cars in America were made from wood. :P

Not entirely incorrect.

shamrock2004 · 09-02-2016 10:20pm

I thought grand prix was pronounced grand pricks. The older people used to get a laugh out of that one.

Sariah · 09-02-2016 10:29pm

My 6 year old is always getting things arse ways. Recently he said to me aren't some dogs bastards. I was like excuse me what. He said some dogs are bastards aren't they ? Eventually I realised he mixed up the word bastard with bitch.

The other night I was reading them a story and there was a line in it about having 10 fingers and 10 toes. He said it was a stupid book because we don't have 10 toes. I said how many have you so and he said 2. I said they're not your toes they're your feet. He said I never knew they were called toes I thought they were called feet fingers.

pickarooney · 10-02-2016 7:40am

The French word for mongrel is bâtard which pretty much means bastard and toes are called doigts de pied which means feet fingers.

Does your son have a nasal accent and a permanent air of existential ennui by any chance?

The_Captain · 10-02-2016 10:30am

I've a Polish friend who calls them feet fingers.

fryup · 10-02-2016 11:12am

when i was younger i used to think that when a woman falls in love she got pregnant ...the innocence

Cathmandooo · 10-02-2016 12:13pm

I used to think the @ symbol was an abbreviation for around because the line went around the a

I remember doing homework and writing 'I was @ 4 years old when I met my friend', thought I was being really intelligent :pac:

This Fat Girl Runs · 10-02-2016 12:41pm

When I was a kid my siblings and I used to play 'office' because it was fun being grownups with jobs.

JustShon · 10-02-2016 12:43pm

This Fat Girl Runs wrote: »

When I was a kid my siblings and I used to play 'office' because it was fun being grownups with jobs.

Wanting to be an adult in general is one we're all guilty of.

Hugo Stiglitz · 10-02-2016 5:29pm

JustShon wrote: »

Wanting to be an adult in general is one we're all guilty of.

Yeah. The reality is largely crap though!

JustShon · 10-02-2016 5:33pm

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Yeah. The reality is largely crap though!

Agreed.

As a child: "When I'm an adult I'll eat whatever I want for dinner!"

As an adult: "When I get paid I'll buy whatever I can afford for dinner!"

As a child: "When I'm an adult I'll stay up as late as I want!"

As an adult: "I can't wait to go to bed tonight."

I could go on.

arctictree · 10-02-2016 5:36pm

I was at a funeral when I was a kid and asked my Uncle what RIP stood for. He answered 'Rise If Possible'. I believed that one well into my teens and was shocked when I found out the truth. Will be telling my son this one soon....

Peregrine · 10-02-2016 5:44pm

fryup wrote: »

when i was younger i used to think that when a woman falls in love she got pregnant ...the innocence

I used to think that it was triggered by marriage. I pondered for days on end about a physical link between the two. Eventually, I concluded that there must exist some sort of a button which was pushed after marriage.

I was very innocent

arctictree · 10-02-2016 5:48pm

Peregrine wrote: »

I used to think that it was triggered by marriage. I pondered for days on end about a physical link between the two. Eventually, I concluded that there must exist some sort of a button which was pushed after marriage.

I was very innocent

Ha - the advantages of growing up on farm. My six year old knows exactly what the Ram is for and what he is doing to the ewes!

fiachr_a · 10-02-2016 6:46pm

Used to think benefited was spelt benefitted.

LenaClaire · 10-02-2016 6:58pm

I thought that Doctors were men and Dentists were women, also thought Dogs and Cats were the male and female of the same species of Pets.

When I was 5, a friend of the family died while she was on a missionary trip in India. She was cremated before being sent home as it was much cheaper that way. At her funeral I asked my mom about the little urn, and she explained about the whole cremation concept.

About a month later it was Ash Wednesday. I was thoroughly convinced that the priest had put our friend's ashes on our faces and started having a melt down in the middle of mass, shouting that I did not want dead people on my face

fiachr_a · 11-02-2016 6:31pm

Used to think lads who got good factory jobs after leaving school were set up for life.

Mister Vain · 24-02-2016 7:24pm

I thought Athy in Kildare was a place you went to get fitted for a suit.

XxMCRxBabyxX · 24-02-2016 8:15pm

We called my dad's parents Granny and Granda and my mum's Nana and Enda (his first name & he felt old if he was called Grandad!) I thought that those were the actual naming conventions for what you had to call your mum's and dad's parents. It never clicked that my aunts' children didn't call my grandparents the opposite. Also, I'd say that I was in my teens before I realised that Enda was my mum's dad's actual name.

I also one went out with my dad while he was golfing and he hit a great one under par hole. He asked me what I thought of his birdie and I was totally confused and thought that he was talking about the Guinness toucan on his shirt. It was another ten years before I got my golf education and understood why I was laughed at.

My brother once asked my mum what a condom was after reading the word off a billboard (we lived in Botswana and sexual health messages were everywhere) so she told him that it was a prophylactic. I'd love to know what thoughts she put into his head with that.

XxMCRxBabyxX · 24-02-2016 8:39pm

Oh, I forgot this one. From when he was about 6 until 8 my brother was sure that my mum was 23 (she didn't seem to age in that time) and only found out her real age when he saw the birthday cake at her 50th birthday party. He was devastated when he found out and told her that he thought that she'd had a teenage pregnancy (or 3! By his calculations she would have been 9 having me!)

24-02-2016 11:17pm

When I was about 8 or so I discovered this TV show that I'd never heard of before. It was on early in the day and it was really funny. It was about this really cool band and one of the boys in it was so cute! One day my mam came into the room while I was watching it and asked what I looking at. "Oh its this cool show, its called 'the Monkees'. She said 'oh yeah I used to like that when I was kid'.
Me: " eh...what?"
Mam: "that's a really old show. Its from when I was little!"
Me: "whaaaaat!?!?"
I was really disappointed I hadn't discovered something new and kinda disturbed to think Davy Jones was an old man!

TrueIt · 24-02-2016 11:20pm

I was convinced that robbers lived in caves. Too much Scooby Doo I think.

Stuff You Got Wrong As A Kid

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